Evening~~#~~
I fell asleep around 10pm to wake at 11:30pm
jeez I havent even been asleep long!!
I had a dream also, I was being chased, which I did enjoy but upon
waking up I found myself incredibly sweaty and I hadnt even slept with my
pajama bottoms on, just how do I create so much damn heat!!!?
I fell asleep and woke up at 1am having a strange dream about bells
that everyone had their own bell on a shelf if you picked it up it should hover and ring
if it does this loudly and a lot it means you truly love your other half
mia rang hers and it rang loudly i rang mine and it rang but not as loudly as hers
i found helina's and rang it and rang once which was very quiet
i went to pick up her fiance's bell and it fell straight to the floor
no hover or ring
i was furious and wanting to ring his neck!!
I woke up and could still feel the bitterness and rage i felt in my dream
I was awake for a while, dropped off and woke up at 4:30am
its relentless im only sleeping in 1- 2 hour bursts
mum woke me at 7:30am as I had requested
I got piggies out and got ready to go karen's
I arrived at Karen's a couple of minutes late as there was a major traffic build up
where there usually isnt and its the way to taras too so i hope its not permanent traffic as i gotta go that way tomorrow!!
It was lovely to see Karen again and we talked about numerous things as always
I saw her old dog bless him
then i left for home and a shower
Mum came in and i made myself a salad for lunch
quite into salads
then i picked adam up from the gym
we went for a walk by the trent which is what i wanted to~
it was nice actually
then we came back to my house and some how the day went
we saw my pets and stuff and i took him home
I got these in the post yesterday
BBIA Downy cheek in Apricot colour and Berrisom's My Ice Bar for lips in Pink lemonade shade I have tried both, the blusher is subtle and soft to use and the lip balm is very vibrant and even feels cool on your lips! I like both products ^^
I may dance tonight or I might draw~
Tomorrow I am seeing adam in the afternoon then were going over to tara's for dinner :D
KoNbaNWa
I slept okish it was nice to be reunited with mu own bed
and my own space, never quite used to sharing a bed
I woke up at 8:15am
I had breakfast but felt exhausted
I tried doing half hour of dancing just practising a few I want to learn
learning i think 5 at the moment! But I like variation
mum came home and I went for a shower then sat with her
I ate lunch and went to bed feeling tired and achy from my weekend
I had just started to feel like I was about to drop off and what happens
the bloody door bell goes >.>
I got up as I was home alone
and I couldnt even slag anyone off because it was a parcel for me!!!
I couldnt get off back to sleep so I googled kawaii dungarees
for some inspiration on what to do with the dungarees mia had given to me
I came up with a design eventually and started sorting materials out and such
I made myself dinner with was tomato tuna pasta
couldnt be bothered to cook much
went into my room to tidy up and go on my laptop
mum was going out and couldnt find her car keys
she shouted me to look in her room so i did and i found them
my brother was at the bottom on the stairs with mum and was just about
to say "dont throw them" but they had already left my hand and as soon as i did it
i knew i shouldnt have but it was stupid mistake we all make
none of us are perfect
but my brother lectured me and dad was in the other room calling me stupid and such
you know the usual rude remarks he says to me
i was tempted to go take it up with him but chose to take it out on my brother instead
- the safer option and less aggressive
dad is so rude tho i have no idea why he hates me the way he does and it is hate i can feel it theres no love or warmth there. he never talks to me unless its something involving him, my car or my work. i sometimes try strike up a conversation with him but it never goes anywhere because he doesnt want to talk to me i think he sees me as a waste of his time or something. So when he isnt talking to me or ignoring my existence completely hes being rude to me
and it is 99% of the time unnecessary and very hurtful
mum says shes doesnt know why he is the way he is but he needs help
seriously he needs help as over the years he pushes me further and further away
and its a strain on mum because shes the 'go between' literally conversations that have to happen between me and my dad are gone through mum as i dont want to talk him as hes rude and uninterested in anything i have to say and i fear him being horrible to me and he doesnt talk to me because i dont know i cant work him out
people say to me "he does love you" "he shows his love in different ways"
no he doesnt
he really doesnt
hes soulless and i think he always will be
anyway enough ranting about the home life i live with
i drew out a nail idea i want to do before i go away next week
as this time next week im in Matlock with adam :D
this is this week's nails
Tomorrow I am seeing Karen at 9am so I gotta get up and out
I will come back shower, maybe start my dungarees and maybe see adam
see what the day brings
Evening all!!!
I am back from up north!!
Saturday
I got up at 6:30am for a shower and got ready
it took me the full time til leaving at 8:10am to actually be ready!
mad dash!
my dad kindly dropped us off at the station
we boarded the train and got our reserved seats
for the announcer to say "could those in the last two carriages move to the front two due to a light failer" so basically our carriage became rammed literally it was as loud as a cinema and rammed like an indian train it was chaos and i hated it
we arrived in manchester it was drizzling
i found out hotel and we were able to go straight to our room so early!
our room was lovely and had a bath!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we ditched our stuff and went out to find something for lunch
we headed for Afflex palace - our usual place
as its full of independent traders, things change a lot
so our usual cafe had gone and a Vegan Cafe had opened
as we didnt want to venture in the rain we went there
and the service was great and cheap food to as usually vegan places rip you off
i had butternut squash soup as i love that, mia very sensibly ordered "all day breakfast"
i said "youve ordered an all day breakfast in a VEGAN cafe"
she was like "yeah.....ohhhh...yeah" the penny dropped XD
she stuck with it and enjoyed it so that was good
we shopped round afflex and it was a good to have a hunt round
it had stopped raining by the time we had finished in there but before we left
we had our usual ice cream i had the flavour 'peanut butter salted caramel'
jesus it was diabetic but good
we walked outside and did the shops around - independent ones rather than chain
i picked up a few bits so did mia
we dropped our stuff off at the hotel
had a half hour rest and freshen up and went in search of food!
we looked round for 45mins to be told everywhere "sorry 30min wait"
in the end we were so fed up and didnt care where or what we ate
we checked Pizza hut and they said "5-10min wait" so we actually went pizza hut!!!
of all places! we shared a barbecue pizza and both really really enjoyed it
we left there and went to a dessert place and ordered 'white chocolate cookie dough'
a slab each and i had custard with mine
we took it to the room and ate our ecstasy there
i cant tell you how freakin good it was
i couldnt bare to think of the calories i was consuming
i didnt finish it all but saved it
i had a bath then went bed
i didnt sleep too bad even with mia farting in bed -____-
sunday! today!
we woke up at 7:30am and mia isnt a morning person
i got up and showered and got ready basically
we left in search of breakfast
we had it in an independent place to make up for eating in a chain this morning
i had 'rubard and strawberry crumble porriage' which i thought it ether gonna be amazing or awful luckily it was amazing and i ate it all mia had salmon and scrambled egg on toast
we popped to a could of shops to pick up final bits then caught the train
mia left me at the train station to meet Rob who had come to town and had the house key
so if i dropped mia off home she couldnt get in! so she went to meet him
i met my parents and came home with them
i had some soup and bread
showed mum my purchases and popped them away
they are:
a llama glasses case £6 for dad for his birthday i shall tuck away
a birthday card for my brother i couldnt resist
my favourite incense sticks reduced to £1
a Hell Bunny apron reduced to £4.70 I was gonna get the black but chose blue im gonna wear at an accessory rather than an apron
a t-shirt reduced to £4.99 i had one similar and love it
a cardigan £8 to go with the dress i am gonna wear to the wedding, i guessed the colour would match and it is perfect, and my necklace arrived in the post yesterday so i have the complete outfit finished for £15 (not including hair, tights and shoes)
As you can see I didnt go mental, there was a lot more i could have brought but just knew i didnt need it so i just left it really
Mia had given me 2 bags full of clothes she no longer wants
usually i keep a fair bit but stuff didnt fit it was too loose on me
i kept a pair of dungarees to do up but thats it
ive been with Oz really since bless him
hes missed me ^^ i missed him too and home and adam
even tho i was only gone a day i was still happy to come back
it was enough couldnt have shopped another day
tomorrow i might do some doodling or something
Evening~~~
Today is mummy's birthday ^0^
I always make a big fuss of mum when its her birthday or mother's day
she does so much for me after all
she woke me up which i didnt appreciate as id had a crap night
i had got up at 1am crippled and in need of pain killers and just
to get out of bed in general
This morning was a usual morning
then mum opened her presents and cards
she loved everything I had brought for her so I was happy about that ^^
she said I go to too much effort but I dont think i do
we had lunch at home then we went to go have cake
we originally set out to a cafe near adam's house that mum hasnt been to
but i have been with adam several times
but we couldnt get parked anywhere near the shops so we left that area
thinking the cafes were probably gonna be packed anyway
so we went to a garden centre
we had a slice of lemon drizzle cake each which was nice
and a hot choc which wasnt hot it was rather cruddy actually
we sat there and there was 3 old ladies behind us and the couldnt stop coughing
i mean really coughing and it was making us feel sick
and i was paranoid about catching what they had got
my immune system loves germs!
i felt bad for mum cus it had a been a bit of a crappy outing
so we came home, put the piggies out and went for a walk as it was actually sunny!
we enjoyed that and came home i started to pack for my trip tomorrow
later on I did mum's nails using the stamper tools they came out ok
but they are a faff if im honest
i cant take to it but mum was happy with her nails
she let them dry whilst my brother flicked through about 200 of his Japan photos
which got me thinking I hadn't put up my photos of the gifts he brought me back from his trip
so here they are
a t-shirt with an awesome design on it, id rather make something from it than wear it!
a crushed coin with hello kitty design, he has a city scape one for himself
a poster from the Sumo match he went to see
2 free magazines one from the Metro he brought back for me to have a look as he knows i love this kinda stuff, one has loads of nail art ideas in! and i like the graphics in it too
these 2 were from japanese shrines both of us arent sure what they are
japanese sweets, i didnt try these, i ate the pocky he had open and tried some melon fanta and a grape fanta which were both quite strange tasting
finally chop sticks which say "father" on them but he said he chose them for looks rather than what they said on them, and some sort of charm which i have stuck on my window :D
I could not believe how much he brought back with him i was expecting just a little key chain or something but no he brought me all that!!! I was so happy it was like christmas!!
Mum and my dad have gone out for a meal i curled mum's hair for her before she left
i made myself a realy rubbish dinner -____-
tomorrow I am going to manchester with mia!!
I am very excited about it and a lil anxious as i always am
i know i will be ok as i know my way round its i think the travelling and sleeping
which is troubling a little bit
but should be a good trip :D
I've got leave the house at 8:10am my dad is taking us both for our train at 8:47am
should be manchester for 10ish
think i will end up getting up at 6:30am so im not rushing and have time to see Ozwald
I will be back Sunday afternoon~~
Evening~~
I didn't sleep well as per usual
and I was very anxious about sleeping
the biggest thing keeping me awake was thoughts about food
how much id eaten basically and how fat i was and that id got to lose a stone
Mum woke me at 9:30am
I got up but ended up going back to bed i felt like crap
so i went to sleep from 11am til 12pm
adam was on his way over so i got in the shower
he came too the door just as id got dressed so that was good timing
we had lunch and a brew, i made mum a brew when she came in
then we went for a walk, then we went to his
i took my DS thinking we'd just play pokemon but turns out he just wanted
my attention and gave me endless affection ^^ i wasn't complaining
im like a cat i love affection and attention X3
Im not seeing him now til tuesday D: shock! which is why i think he gave me
so much affection today because hes gonna miss me~
i came home for yoga which was a good session
i was facing karen but she wasnt too harsh on me at all luckily
and i managed the session without dying too
got home and had left overs with mum
speaking of mum its her birthday tomorrow!!!
yay yay
She is gonna open stuff in the morning, im gonna paint her nails and curl her hair for her its a daughters job to make a fuss of their mum on birthdays ^^
then were going out for cake! woohoo!
i've also got to pack for my weekend away with mia
this is the card ive made for mum for her birthday
Konbanwa it's 9:50pm!
Im usually in bed
but currently writing my diary on my knees whilst Oz is laying down in front of them
bless him he loves throwing himself against me X3
Anyway I woke up at 11pm, 1am, 4:50am
and I have been awake since then! well I did go back to bed at 10am for an hour or two
but I had cleaned 3 hutches out, had breakfast, sat with pigs and showered
i woke up and had lunch then went up to adams house
he had showered and ate from the gym which was a change from yesterday
we walked to the shop and had ice cream!
yeah it was cold but I fancied sneaking off for something sweet :D
then we came back talked with his dad
i was baiting him saying i could out run him
but we meant long distance i have never been good at long distance i was more accustomed to short dashes in fact in high school i could do the 100m run in 13 seconds!
probably couldnt do that now XD
but i am determined that this year i will beat his dad but ive got to practice i guess
and build my stamina up!
I came home and took Minnie to the vets
god we were there almost an hour
so unbelievably slow we saw another vet and this one suggested millie have another week's
worth of antibiotic -____- poor millie i wasnt thrilled at this
I got home then set off to taras house
we talked and played with her bunnies
nutmeg is cute and happy as usual hes very much like Oz in personality but Oz is more affectionate and likes people more but thats because hes a single bunny. Rocky my god had got it on him tonight he was attacking me but i wasnt bothered as im so used to rabbits and how they are it really doesnt bother me in the slightest
tara showed me how to nail stamp
and we ate pizza and garlic bread with James
they insisted i stayed for dinner
saved me cooking when i got in i guess
so ive eaten badly today!
I got home at 9:30pm and got Oz out right away and gave millie her medicine
tomorrow adam wants to see me as he wont see me again til next week then
dont know what we're doing as of yet
and i have yoga about it
Konbanwa~~
I ended up going to bed at 9pm
I felt tired and quite relaxed despite the hour before I felt seriously
tense, on edge and restless
so i thought whilst I was feeling tired I would go to bed even if it was early
ended being woken up at 11:30pm by my dad knocking on my brother's
door asking him to "turn it down"
my brother had fallen asleep with his music on XD
I was tired this morning and really could not be arsed to get up
I felt so sluggish
but by time I had eaten, had a brew and showered I did pick up a bit
I managed to record a dance anyway :)
I spent my morning with the guineas I feel like
at lunch time I got Pinks out and made myself a salad whilst
throwing her bits and pieces to keep her quiet XD
then I saw mum and we had a quick catch up before I went off to psychology
I struggled to get parked up theres literally no where to park round there
its quite annoying
I was on time but kept waiting
a woman in her 30's came in with a cute Kath Kitson bag which had a guinea pig print
on it and I was tempted to say to her "cute bag"
glad I didnt as she walked up to the reception "is Dr.....in? I need my meds"
ok considering this was a mental health place Im glad I stayed away from her
never quite know whos gonna be ok to talk to and who is a complete nutter
best to keep to yourself
so I met with this psychologist
he spent the first 10 minutes of my 50 minute appointment talking about himself and the basics of psychology and how it differs to a psychiatrist
he asked at the end of it "any questions?"
i felt like saying "yeah just one, why do you have your left ear pierced?"
but thought Id be better answering "nope"
to be honest I had switched off when he was blabbing on about himself anyway
The guy seemed humourless so I went and tried anyway
"do I get any homework?" and he went to smile but couldnt quite achieve it
i tried
he replied "no I dont set homework"
what a bore
we talked about my home life, my family and how i interact with them, what i do for a living, my conditions and that was about it really
he was a bit arsy with me that i couldnt make 2 weeks time due to me being away on my birthday week and he is going away start of march for 3 weeks. he'd like to get in 2-3 more sessions before then and thats not my problem.
anyway im booked in again at 12 February
I came away thinking "egotistical tit" I didnt rate him much
and felt like he's gonna end up referring me on to someone else
he said i need to 2-3 more sessions to finish my history then he will discuss treatment
I went straight to adams from there
as i wanted to see him
he had got back from the gym and was making himself a late lunch when i arrived
then he went for a shower whilst i waited on his bed
he came back from showering and came up to me on his bed
i had this thought strike in my head, as certain as the grass is green, that he was going to hit me
not that he has ever ever hurt me but I had the overwhelming thought that he was gonna hit me so i instantly recoiled away from him, he looked worried and asked "whats wrong?"
I said "oh nothing" he came to me this time and reluctantly kissed him he said "are you sure?" I said "yeah you just caught me off guard" I didnt have the heart to tell him 'i thought you were gonna whack me' but I could tell my answer hadnt convinced him but he said no more about it
god knows where that thought came from
his dad arrived home at that point and we talked then i went home
been home since and not done much really
sorted out a few bits and pieces like nail designs for myself when i go away with mia
i might dance as i havent done any exercise this week really
i sorted these bits i got in the post from korea
A facial wash, electric (battery) eyelash curler, a lip treatment, and a mascara - i love the mascara as it comes off with soapy water, i havent worn mascara in months due to it being hard to remove so the skin round my eyes gets irritated and sore and takes a while to heal so i have had to make do with clear mascara
Don't know what im doing tomorrow
pets have got to be cleaned out
millie has the vets at 4pm then i might be seeing tara
I'm here
I'm still alive
I haven't been good hence why I havent updated a damn thing lately
just couldnt face it, face writing/thinking about my life
I mean I know my life isnt as bad as other but i have been damn struggling
I've cried a lot and got to my wits end with life
struggling to cope with myself
and I can see its having an effect on those around me as well
I didn't do much over the weekend
I saw adam and went up to his house on the saturday
I came home and made mum a birthday card ^^
Sunday well sunday I was suppose to be seeing adam and we were meeting an old friend at the pub at 2pm did any of that happen? NO and that is because it snowed rather heavily
adam told me not to see him as cars couldnt get up or down his hill of a road and everywhere was bad as it hadnt been predicted and therefor the gritters hadnt been out
everywhere was bad
so i had to cancel both adam and antony. i was well peed to say the least
i cleaned my room and danced and at 8:30pm when a lot of the snow had disappeared i decided to go for a walk by myself as i was restless.
Today I stayed home in the morning then after lunch I went TKMAXX and a bargain shop
I picked all this up from TK
TonyMoly facial wash reduced to £3, nail varnishes reduced from 20p to £1!!! liquid eye shadow reduced to £3 and a korean nose thing reduced to £2. I also picked up 2 pairs of fleece lined leggings reduced to £4 each and a nightie for mum's birthday reduced to £8 so I did well
from bargin shop I got some wrapping paper for mum's presents
From there I went for a walk by myself down along side the river Trent
i always love being around water and then I came home, put my girls out for a trot waited for mum to come home so we could have a brew together
then played pokemon and emailed a couple of friends
adam offered for me to go up and see him but it was like nearly 4pm and i couldnt be arsed.
said id see him tomorrow
tomorrow im not sure how to spend my morning
but at 1:30pm I have my first, and much needed, psychology session
from there i will go see adam as mum wont be home and i will need to talk to someone
I worked on thursday and friday morning at a local school which went well
i enjoyed it and would go back again
me and adam have been talking about going away im thinking Ireland as its more local and looks more interesting than france, nothing is grabbing me about france. i know its a bit judge a book by its cover but it just doesnt look like my kinda place. ireland looks more natural and fun.
millie is still recovering from her chest whatever thing she has
we took her vets wednesday as her chest was really rattly so shes on a week's worth of antibiotics and is going back on wednesday to the vets but shes lost a bit of weight despite her still eating and being her usual self granted she is quiet sometimes i hope she recovers soon
mum's birthday on friday!
Evening all~~
Yesterday wasn't good
I ended up going to bed later than my usual bedtime
I was hovering around the landing I couldnt face going to my bed
eventually i sat down on my bed and cried
i was at my wits end i just felt like i couldnt tolerate any more
mum and her 6th sense must have known i was upset and came to me
she calmed me down and told me to go and doodle somewhere else
as sitting on my bed wasnt doing my any favours
I sat downstairs and doodled til my dad came to bed
I read in bed and did eventually settled but woke up in the night
I wasn't happy or myself in the morning
id had enough
i was so tired and fed up of myself and of life
I was suppose to be going out for lunch with adam
but i sent him a txt saying basically to leave me be today i wasnt myself and its unfair to have to deal with me when im like this
that was at 10:30am which is when i went to bed again
I didnt arise out of bed til 2pm to find 7 missed calls from him and that he's spoke to mum
im such a trouble maker
mum told me she'd spoke to him and told him id get in touch with him when i got up
she just said that theyre both worried about me and dont know how to help
i spoke to adam he offered to come over
i said he could if he wanted to
He came over and we spoke about stuff in my room
i got upset over it all and then even more upset when he told me hes found the last 2-3 weeks mentally draining. I felt like I was hurting him
i felt awful
i told him he didnt have to see me, he said he wanted to
i said to him "did you want to see me or felt you HAD to see me?"
but he reassured me he always wanted to see me
i felt bad id ruined the day
i then asked him if i could sleep over at his house that night
as i couldnt face going through it all again, i needed to break the cycle
he txted his dad and all was fine
i had no right to ask him for anything more but he let me
even tho he can be at his wits end with me hes still willing to put up with me all night
so at 6:15pm I dropped him off with my sleep over gear and then went to mias
it was just me and her she made us dinner and we talked and talked
i told her how stuff is
we booked to go manchester 27th - 28th January
cant wait!
it was great to see her
I left hers at 9:30pm and went to adams
i saw his mum and thanked her for letting me stay over she was fine with it all
me and adam watched Taskmaster til 11pm to which we went to bed
he played on his DS i half watched half closed my eyes
then when he turned the lights off i couldnt sleep i felt worried about the night
he cuddled me and asked me to sleep
i did drop off but i woke up plenty of times got comfy and went to sleep again
but it was all so much better than having that anxiety build up about being alone all night
in the morning his alarm went off at 9:30am i couldnt be bothered to wake up and in the end got up at 10am to make us both a hot drink whilst he ran me a bath
i had a bath then i went home really
cleaned out my pets and found millie was still snuffly
her breathing has been a bit laboured past two days and today she looked unhappy
so we booked her in at the vets for 4pm
I went back to adams house
we walked up to the pub and we had pub lunch
he had double chicken burger and i had chicken and stuffing wrapped in a yorkshire pudding
i have never heard of such a thing but it was bloody fantastic and i got massive chips with it and peas, it was a very cheap meal so i wasnt expecting much food but jesus there was no way in hell i could have ate all that so i passed it over to adam to finish off.
we left and walked to his house
i sat and talked to his dad then i went to doodle as i could frustration building up
adam noticed and said "cant i cuddle you on your bed?"
we went up and we messed around annoying one another and cuddled.
i left to go take millie to the vets
she was terrified even tho she had alice next to her
the vet wasnt overly concerned and said she should recover with a weeks worth of antibiotics he didnt say what it was, we just didnt want her to be in pain and for it to get worse
got home and caught up with a few things mainly applying for jobs
and booked bowling online for my birthday for me adam mia and rob
should be fun and got a discount as well
i dont feel too bad about tonight
it has helped breaking the cycle
millie's breathing doesnt look great tonight so shes on my mind
my brother is coming home in the evening some time so i know he will wake me up as i wake up to a pin dropping. hes on the coach from london to nottingham now anyway
hes had enough
tomorrow i am working in the morning
at a local school just til lunch time which suits me
and i have yoga later on
adam was on about seeing me but i will see how i am first
i drew this the other night just cus i wanted to
Evening all~~~~
I shall start with recounting my sunday
I didn't sleep *massive shock!*
I was shattered and had been crying in the night
I awoke at 10am but was rather comfy and relatively pain free
so I stayed there for 45mins until I started to ache
I went outside to see my Ozwald and give him fuss
i took my camera out and isnt he cute
I met adam up at the gym for 1pm we arrived at the same time it was brilliant timing
i got signed in and went to the changing rooms
the pool was cold my god i didnt appreciate it
the first 5 lengths jesus i was out of breath!!! panting like a dog
i must have looked really unfit i have no idea why i was so out of breath
i had to stop to catch it as i felt like i was gonna hyperventilate
eventually i got into the rhythm of it a lot of the time i had the lane to myself
i swam for 30mins watching people come and go from the sauna and steam room
if i saw another top less muscly sweaty guy come out of them i was gonna bring up my lunch
seriously it does nothing for me how girls stare at that scene i will never understand
I got out and got dried in a cubicle as i was having a bath at adams
I met him eating his lunch in the cafe as he'd been in the gym whilst i swam
i got to his house and he ran me a bath (got him whipped)
took me a while to get in the damn thing tho as it was hot but also my toes were like ice
so they stung like crazy dipping them in so i was slowly having to warm them through so i could put the rest of me in the water
i had propped my bag behind the door as none of the door upstairs in that house close to!!
adam was at the door asking if i was ok
he realised i had barricaded the door
he said "dont you trust me?"
I said "its there to keep people out. not really, i put it there in case your dad came up"
he said "i would have told him you were in there"
well i didnt know that and wasnt taking any chances
"well lets face it a bag wouldnt keep you out if you did want to come in would it"
he had to prove that sentence right didnt he
he came in!!!! I shot him daggers he came and massaged my shoulders, daggers were retracted.
then he left me in peace
I got out and got dressed whilst he went and showered himself
we laid on his bed i stretched out and my left shoulder muscle went into spasm
my god it hurt!! and i couldnt stop the pain it had truly knotted it's self up
i wasnt happy
last sunday it was my back this sunday my shoulder
later on we walked up to the bar with his parents and had a drink i had hot chocolate
we came back and laid on his bed and played pokemon and traded too
had dinner and then i reluctantly left at 9pm
i didnt want to go home as i knew bed time was approaching
last night i didnt sleep
i couldnt get off
i ended up listening to my ipod as i was too tired to play pokemon or read or do yoga
i was just exhausted not to mention my shoulder hurt
mum went to wake me at 8am i didnt entertain that idea and fell asleep and got up at 9:30am
sat with piggies and stuff
i txted Nigel asked if he could book me in for today and luckily i got in for 1pm!
acupuncture didnt go well
it was very painful i wish you could see my back
its had cupping done on it and it looks like ive fallen down the stairs its very colourful
the needles effing hurt!! i was squirming whimpering and shouting out
yup wasnt on my best behaviour
i had needles in my head and neck and behind my ears and they kill
i couldnt move with the 12 needles in as to use my voice hurt
but afterwards my shoulder felt loads better and had more movement
i came home and adam was on his way over from work
he came and i made us a brew and we sat with my girls, fussed Oz, played pokemon, annoyed one another and just talked. easy afternoon. I offered for him to stay for dinner as i was eating alone. but he said he had pasta bake which is his favourite and mine so i told him to stay home theres no reason to miss a pasta bake even tho he was prepared to miss it for me.
since then i made myself omelette and just came on my laptop
i might dance later as i havent done any exercise today
ive heard from my brother he video called me and showed me his hotel room and we talked and i passed him on to mum. it was good to speak to him as we had a laugh and joke and ive missed that.
tomorrow marks the day that last year me and adam re-met up
i said we should go out or something or at least do something
he seemed up for it
later on i am going over to mia's for dinner and to book manchester
i took this video of oz on his birthday not sure if it will load ive never uploaded a video before im well aware of how pitched i am -____-
