Forgive me, I'm here

good evening~

I just want to say sorry for my absence lately really
It's my fault I am not making excuses 
I typed up what i could bare to type up, on Devaintart
I did not want to keep writing the same thing over and over it
was painful, so I just posted the link
sorry

but I'm here now~
my heart is slowly healing
I have finished work for Xmas now
so i have more free time
and will get back into blogging and dancing
i havent danced for a week!
no wonder i'm depressed XD

Today was my last day of work but it was enjoyable
and I have been playing with Tiffin bless him
He met Hazel today he was a bit timid round her
having never seen a guinea pig before
Kip grew up with pigs so meeting Lily and Pinky was fine
but he ended up biting her ear, she squealed, he freaked
he was really frightened of her talking 
but shes ok no worries, they did manage to eat together
so fingers crossed they might be ok to be friends :D

I am gonna get some dancing done now
as I have nothing to upload for tomorrow!

Anyway take care all and I will be back to regular bloggin~

new bunny!

I will start blogging and dancing again promise!

http://crafty-lil-vixen.deviantart.com/journal/Tiffin-500828299

I love kippy

http://crafty-lil-vixen.deviantart.com/journal/I-love-you-Kippy-500257028

The Decs are up!!

Evening  all~

excuse my absence yesterday I remembered at 10:00pm
I hadn't blogged and I was going to be and could not be arsed :P
Yesterday was ok I had a lunch club to do
and it was  hard work kids understood nothing
so I'm taking the same lesson in again next week to continue with

Today I put the decs up yay!!
But before then I had a doctors appointment  ugh
to find out the results of my blood test~
and it turns out I have an issue and I need a retake
yes another blood test!
but I volunteered believe it or not
as if I have got this problem to cure it i need 18 months worth
of medication, and I rather double make sure  I have
this problem before I drug myself up for months
so I wasnt impressed with all that
even the doctors said "you've never been normal" >.>

Then I had a hair cut yay!
I needed a good trim so that felt good
and I made this for my hair dresser and a card

she loved them

came home and put the decs up which took all afternoon
that and wrapping up all the presents
took ages
so now im chilling out with hazel and kip on my bed
and dance practice
I uploaded a dance today i recorded yesterday
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLyfl4RBNf4
tomorrow I have got a birthday party to do~

Playing and Relaxing at work is fun~

Oha!

Today I had work again for training
given by the ever so amusing Alice-san
Daniel-kun decided to show up today
as a fellow generation mate I can have a good laugh with him
Ernia-san also showed up for training
I had news that Amanda-chan who is my gen mate has left :(
But today I had a good time at work
I found out I have another fellow 92' baby oh yeah! Nicola-san!
And Kristie-san is 91' baby so not far away from each other
infact shes only 4 months older than me
when you leave school its hard to find people your own age in the work place
so i feel really lucky at mad science ^^
I was laughing and joking, and before I realized it I have become so
relaxed around everyone at work even my seniors and managers
I was able to play around and joke with them on an honest level
i mean they were laughing also 
i hope they are ok with the "real" me
i prefer it when I can be myself round others
its just a  lot nicer
before I was so well behaved and didnt mess around ><

Got home and sat with mama and pets she rested so i did too ^^
I hope to do some sewing but I doubt I'll get any done to be honest
So I will do some dance practice I guess ><
Tomorrow I am teaching and I'm teaching a favorite lesson of mine
rocket making never gets old XD
my class will love it!
Friday I am super busy!

anyway thats all for now
here's the dance I was able to squeeze in today
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTUNScCoWqE

My strength

Evening
I will make this quick as I'm sweaty after dancing
and want a shower!

This morning I got up and felt much better my body felt lighter
I didn't have to worry about putting a brave face on for others today
i just didnt feel like i needed to
I held hazel and things before work
when I arrived for training it was me with Ernie-san. alice-san giving the training
and new kid David-kun who I found out is a 92' baby also :D
but I;m older muahahaha
i had a real good laugh at work
i felt mentally better and stronger today
i have no idea why

i was fine talking about popu and thing
my thumb felt better - not perfect - but better
(wont stop bleeding tho =.=)
So yesterday felt like it was a bad dream or something
How Have i got over this so quick?
maybe I cried it all out of my system yesterday? who knows
my face was raw yesterday
and my eyes killed

i got home and sat with hazel again
did some sewing of the coat
stitched my mum trousers up
mended my brother's jacket
arranged dates
i was busy

now just did dancing
which ive enjoyed but one song is giving me jip
it wont sink in!!!
but I should have a dance uploaded tomorrow
just havent had time lately

anyway thats all
i hope my good mental strength will be there tomorrow!

Just the Worst day ever without Popu

 I've just had the worst day ever
my face is red raw from the tears and pain today
Popuri sadly left us last night

I have no idea what caused this
Like I said yesterday she had diarrhea
but in the evening I never even saw her pass anything
I mixed up some vegetables and gave that to her
with probiotic as well
but you could she wasn't right
I took her to bed with mum and we gave her more clean bedding to wrap up in
hazel had been next to her all day
in their cage and in the hall hazel was beside her

When I went to bed last night I woke up loads
each time thinking "hope shes ok"
this morning I woke up at 8am I saw mum coming up the stairs
I said "how is she?" mum just shook her head and when I saw her eyes
I could tell she had been crying
"She's gone Jo" I was in shock I didn't expect her to leave me that soon
I couldnt speak my heart felt like it wasnt beating
she took me into my brother's room where I found Hazel wrapped up on his bed
I gave her a big cuddle and sobbed. "I can't believe shes gone and Hazel will be by herself"
Mum filled me in on what my dad did this morning
we asked him to check if she was with us (I have a thing about finding my animals dead)
And she told me Hazel was beside Popu and even when dad was getting her out
Hazel almost followed her out - she doesnt do this
so hazel didnt want to let go of her ether
Dad buried her before I was even awake. I wouldn't have wanted to see her anyway
not the way I would have wanted to remember her

Now I have baby Hazel to look after
I feel I've got to spend even more time with her now so she doesn't get lonely
I feel so bad for her Hazel she had just started to relay on a friend
now shes gone leaving her alone again
I would adopt a pig in a heart beat if I knew they would get along together
I hate seeing them lonely
I have just facebooked Miho (their original owner) I am waiting for a reply
I hope she takes it ok
I havent even had them a year

I am going to remember Popuri for the little things she did that made me smile
all the nips she gave me all the squeaks she did
her little face when we bathed her
all the good points about her
right now that it killing me just to write
so I'm gonna leave it there and spend time with hazel and kip

I love you Popuri thanks for all the beautiful memories you gave me
rest in peace

I went to get Popu a tomb stone
arrived and got out the car and slammed the car door shut on my thumb
i was in unbearable pain crying and winching
I looked and my nail had turned completly blue and the palm of my thumb had also
it throbbed for ages
and all for nothing as the shop didnt have what i wanted
im in a lot of pain for nothing
i could have quite easily put myself in a coma today
i feel i need to escape this pain
dad got home, heated up a paper clip and pierced my nail to let the
pressured blood out my nail it doesnt throb like it did
but it still hurts and is bloody
tomorrow i have work
and the way im feeling its gonna be hard to put on a brave face

rest in peace popu