Evening~~
Ahhh I've been awake since 5:30am
I just don't sleep it would seem.
I got to acupuncture on time
we talked a lot about my mental side
stuff I have never ever told ANYONE
I felt better for it and he said I wasn't crazy which was another relief
I told him my stomach had been real bad
so I had 8 needles today he went easy on me
I had 1 on the inside of each wrist, one on each ankle, calf (which I coped with this week), 2 on my breast bone. I was pretty good this week but stopped talking as the muscles used to talk made the one in my breast bone hurt.
He lent me a book to read ^^ it sounds so random its a fantasy book
It felt good to be trusted with it :)
From there I went over to adam's house
were his dad made me a sweet cup of tea cus boy did I need it!
Then we headed off to melton mowbrary
didnt take us long to get there
the market was fairly big and there was live animals to buy
from cows to birds to guinea pigs
i refused to look at the small animals as it made me feel sick
We went into a cafe for a brew
looked round the cafe and brought a sausage cob from a butcher which was great and cheap
then we headed off home
I felt a bit drained and Oz had vets anyway so I went home
sat with mum then we went vets
then I went bed for a bit
I was a lil worried if adam's dad would treat me differently from
telling him last night about my illnesses
he asked a few times if i was ok and if i was alright doing certain things
its lovely he cares but i dont want him to have to always think about me and to make sure im ok
i just dont want to be any trouble
on the way home he said how much he likes me and that adam's ex-girlfriend was hard work XD
he told me that bits of adam's room needs doing up, one of them being new curtains i said i would like to help as i love looking round that kinda stuff and that he needs new bedding also. adam glared at me but his dad laughed and told him i have that job. curtains and bedding :)
I took a photo of the bunny they both picked me up from a zoo in France
mum has named him 'Ozwald' XD
Tomorrow I am going into the city centre with mum cus I said Id go spend some time with her.
Should be good :)
Then seeing adam having dinner with him at his house cus his parents are at a concert so hes eating alone but i said i'd go over and eat with him.
Evening~
I did the vampire shift last night
really didnt sleep
When I woke up in the night it was with crippling stomach ache
so when I woke up at 9am I was annoyed I had awoken so late
but it wouldnt have done me any good to get up at 7am
it meant my lovely mother had got the girls out again for the last few mornings ><
I stayed in my pajamas til 12pm
I finished my cousin's birthday card ^^
I was cleaning my whole room practically whilst watching vampire diaries
I had Oz with me or 'Ozwald' as mum keeps calling him XD
Then I got ready to go over to adam's once I had eaten lunch
I hadnt eaten much past 2 days
Got to adam's and sat with him and his parents
They told me about their France holiday
and they even brought me a lil bunny plush!!! How sweet of them!
I was not expecting that!
then we sorted out adam's high school and primary school work his dad had brought down from the roof, it was nostalgic seeing all the books and planners and stuff
we threw 95% of it in the bin
We played cards which I won but god knows how as it went over the top of my head
I felt a bit off and had stomach ache and was tired
so I asked adam if I could crash on his bed for half hour but if he would join me
which he did and it was nice to relax and be cuddled for half and hour
he told me he loved me as well ^^
we had dinner which was good
and then played normal dominos which was alright
I said I had to get going
they went into the kitchen adam told me "you still havent told my parents"
I said "oh crap, dont make me" and then he said "go now and tell them"
he nudged me into the kitchen and then I quite literally spilled the beans
It felt like I was naked in front of them my heart was beating rapidly
and I was keeping it together
but they didnt judge and were very accepting which I knew they would be
and I dont know why I was so worried really
they said they accept me for me and Im welcome here any time and if I need help with anything or if I need to sleep its all fine. His mum said I was 'a ray of sunshine' X3
I did feel so much better for it
it did make me late being home tho
So I've had to come home and have a mad dash round
getting Oz out, shower, stuff ready for tomorrow
jeez its never ending!
Tomorrow I have acupuncture at 8:30am
I can not wait to talk to the guy about my mental health
and also the fact that my stomach has been worse this week
Then Im going straight to adam's as his dad is taking us to Melton Mowbary
theres a giant market there I can not wait!
Then at 4pm Oz has the vets!
its go go go
and Im shattered!
But Im living my life lately I guess!
Good Evening~
It is currently 6:10pm so a lil earlier for me to do my diary
but thought I'd get it done
I slept a little better but still woke with tummy ache -___-
Mia was picking me up at 11am and I got up at 9am
plenty of time~ So i got myself ready
We parked up and hit the shops
and boy can my Mia shop
she is going abroad this saturday so she needed a few things
which meant a lot of walking and shopping which i am fine with
its just very taxing on my body
but i was happy to be there
she truly soothes my soul
We had a think about what we could do for lunch as it was 1pm
and mia loves her food
we decided to try this alice in wonderland cafe that i was planning on
going to for my birthday all the way last february
I was so pleased about going cus it was really good
We had a mad hatter's tea set
so for £7.50 each we had a big pot of tea (which was really good)
3 sandwiches each, a scone, and 2 brownies
I was truly happy as it was all very good stuff
Mia was happy too
we talked about various things
and I told her some of my worries such as telling adam's parents about
my various health conditions but just saying them out loud and mia talking about them
just puts me at ease
I told her I had referred myself for mental help as well
and that i was having acupuncture
We left the queen of hearts and alice (yes they were really dressed as them)
and went for some more shopping
mia managed to get what she wanted luckily
It was the first time today that ive ever been in the presence of armed police
and the city centre was so dead! I think people are on holiday or its the bomb scare
but i didnt think about it and just got on with my day
we headed home, mia dropped me off
im seeing her on friday for face packs, nails and she wants a skirt sewing
now im just at home putting stuff away and that
having the first BBQ of the year today
not looking forward to it as i am struggling to digest meat at the moment
so i know its gonna give me stomach ache
ive had stomach ache after breakfast AND lunch today -______-
i'll be glad when acupuncture works
speaking of which my thoughts have been very quiet today again
i still have them about food but its quieter
ok things i achieved today
walking round town with my best friend
eating cakes/treats
ringing up the vets for Oz
Good Evening~~
I have returned~~
I have a bit of catching up to do huh
Ok hajemaru yo~
Thursday
I had acupuncture at 8:30am
I told him how my stomach had been and my mental state
we talked a lot about mental health as thats what he trained in for many years
and still works in mental health once a week
I was keen to talk to him but ran out of time so Im looking forward to talking
to him this tuesday
I had a needle in my forehead to 'calm' me didnt work
In fact I squirmed more than I ever had
I had 3 in my stomach - one to help with periods cus i hardly get them, i wasnt impressed as I didnt want that to change that cus lets face it no one wants periods! but he says its all connected and the obviously something wrong if im not getting the regularly
I had some in my legs he put one in the right of my calf and it was horrid but i grinned and bared it
that was until he placed on in the opposite leg... i about bucked off the bench i hated it he quickly removed it as it was having a horrible effect on the right leg weird isnt it how its all connected. so the left leg didnt have one in and he said 'are you relaxed with the one in the right? I need you to relax'
"then in that case take it out cus im like a plank right now"
so I had a total of 8 needles in stead of 10
he told me for my mental health that at the end of each day to think of something I have achieved and even if I havent fully achieved it, think about the energy and the journey it took you to do those tasks, he says i dont give myself enough credit for everything i manage to do. i go from one thing to another wanting to achieve more and more and not stopping to look at what i have managed to do basically. dont know what good it will do but i am willing to try anything really
I came home and I cant remember what I did really
but I know I did go over to adam's to pick him up and go into the city centre
I picked up some pokemon bed sheets on sale for £10! I picked up a pokemon t-shirt reduced to £5 a few nail varnishes from £1shop and I believe that was it
when we went to game (got the t-shirt from there) at the til the lady asked if we played pokemon and gave us each a code for Lycanroc lv50 download! nice surprise! Ive had that before with Hoopa but I never know when pokemon are going free on mystery gift. I told Tara to get her butt down at game store! She thanked me
we had lunch in town we both had chicken burgers
then we went over to my house where I got all my stuff for sleep over then went over to his
cooked lasagne which was alright
played pokemon and traded pokemon and downloaded pokemon
I didn't sleep brilliantly i kept waking up
Friday
I woke up not feeling good in all honesty
I was suppose to be coming home in the morning and going shops with mum
but i felt terrible
i ended up going back to bed at 10am -_____-
adam didnt mind and he even went out without me to go get us some lunch :3
he was so good to me
I felt better upon my sleep
and then we had lunch and came home for a bit so i could see Oz and get fresh underwear
that night we ate 'burgers' is what adam called them i called them lumps of mince
i didnt know he hadnt made before i thought he knew what he was doing XD i wish i had taught him but i stayed out of his way and helped were he wanted me to
so my stomach found it very hard to digest and got stomach ache bad
adam was annoyed that i hadnt told him that that dinner was bound to give me stomach ache
but i forgot
yet it was still my fault
(whilst typing this out he has just txt me saying I LOVE YOU XXX) what am i gonna do with him
we played pokemon and mario cart together we played darts as well
I slept better and didnt wake up til 9am
today~
it was a bit cooler today as thursday and friday it had been like 25c+ mental and awful to bare
we went up to the shops to get a few things for the day
then we just sat and played mario and pokemon
we had lunch together and dinner together then at 7:30pm I came home
got Oz out who I think needs to go to the vets
he seems to have a runny nose
im not surprised cus he sticks his nose in everything! So ive got to sort him out this week
Im not sure what has happened as of late but my head is very quiet since ive been to acupuncture
i mean yesterdat god it was so quiet and i wasnt used to that at all i have to say
even thoughts about food we're distant and everything else had vanished
today im still alone in my head and not sharing it anymore but thoughts about food are pretty strong today but i did manage food ok. its very odd being alone in my head im not used to it at all.
i wish to talk to the acupuncturist
It's 9pm now
ive gotta go for a shower to get the smell of adam's house outta my skin XD
tomorrow at 11am mia is picking me up and we're going city centre for some shopping i do believe. another tiring day but cant be helped i wish to do these things
ok things ive achieved today
ive even 2 cookies and ice cream
i've managed to rest in front of my boyfriend instead of hiding it.
Evening~~
I slept better but still woke up at 6am
I got up at 7am for school not wanting to go
it was the first time i've worn a t-shirt for school this year
cus jeez it has been a warm day!
I got to school and had an easy enough morning
p.e. outside so i was stood in the morning sun for an hour
which was nice for a change
mum picked me up at lunch time ^^
I went back to school and the afternoon was easy
just a bit slow and boring if im honest
but it's my last day now til 5th june!
I saw the school photographs today that were taken last week
im in the class photo ^^ I didn't like looking at myself tho
hair crap and chubby face
i came home and couldnt unwind
I thought I was seeing mia til she txted me to say she forgot she was seeing rob
so I sat at my desk doing some cross stitching whilst watching vampire diaries
that helped me unwind actually and i chilled out then :)
Tomorrow I have acupuncture at 8:30am so I have to get up and go!
Then its all in the air at the moment im just organizing my day actually
think i'll come home then get adam whenever he's up instead of going straight
over to his house after acupuncture
then go city centre, have lunch, come to my house for my stuff and then sleep over at adams
think he's making me dinner too
think thats the plan
just gonna be even warmer tomorrow!
he said he wont follow up with the threat of tossing me in the shower XD
a necklace I got in the post :D
Konbanwa~~
I didn't sleep well at all
I did a lot of time on the vampire shift as i call it
I could hear my brother up until like 1am
I didnt fall asleep til gone 2am
Then I got woke up at 5am by a wasp coming in my room
6:30am by our neighbour's dog
So I was tired when i got up at 8am -____-
I had karen at 9:30am to say I only had a half hour back massage
i didnt get home til 11am!!
That lady just does not stop talking!
I came in and had a shower and grabbed a slice of cheese on toast
I think i've eaten my weight in cheese on toast this past month
im sick of eating it!
Then i went to pick adam up from gym but he'd brought me tea so I went and
sat with him to drink it
We went to his house
and talked a bit and aired the house cus god was it stuffy and warm today
Then we went upstairs on his bed were I told him 15 hundred times to
"go get a shower!" he seemed reluctant to go and leave me
He just wouldnt go! I told him Id be still here when he got back
then he said he wanted to shower with me....i see where this is going -___-
I said "well ive only just had a shower like 2 hours ago"
"so?"
i sighed whilst smiling, he cant help being a guy can he
he turned to me and whispered in my ear "guess im gonna have to take you there by force"
"yeah but you wouldnt" i said smugly
"why wouldnt i!?" he said
"cus i trust you and you wouldnt do that to me"
at that point he was scooping me up in his arms >< I couldnt grab his bed quick enough!
I had hold of the bed whilst he went to stand up off the bed with me in his arms
he couldnt get up cus of me holding the bed so placed me back down on the bed
i sat there smug
that was my undoing it would seem
he grabbed me quicker and wasnt on the bed so he was able to pick me up quick
i was being carried into the bathroom he placed me down on the floor - standing
i used the moment he went to turn the shower on he almost turned it on but realized id quickly
escaped into his room
I grabbed the bed sheets and covered myself in a ball
he gave up and cuddled me phew
eventually he left me for a shower
but told me when we have a sleep over hes dragging me into the shower whether i like it or not
jesus ><
not gonna want to go over there come thursday huh
It was really warm today and after massage and stuff today i was starting to feel unwell and my mood plummeted so i had a sugar fix which made it bearable but i still left a bit early from adams
seeing him thursday after acupuncture it would seem
This evening I havent done a lot to be honest
tomorrow I have school
Once again i am not in the mood to go but i know it will go ok
mum is bringing me home for lunch
seeing mia in the evening for a walk
my first bit of canmake make-up i kept meaning to share
it is to brighten the under eye or 'eye puchi' as i believe some japanese call it
its soft and creamy
Evening~~
I amaze myself at times I truly do
who knew I could be an embarrassment even in my sleep?
I was having some sort of dream to do with dogs or wolves I believe
I woke myself up making growl like noises and biting my pillow....-_____-
yep I'm a real head case!
Thank god I was by myself in my small single bed
cus jesus that would have been cringing if someone saw me XD
Anyway I had school
I felt not too bad
the class was very irritating today I must say
it was almost like being with toddlers
me and the teacher were wearing thin on patience
I went home for lunch which was good to be in the quiet
then cycled back to school
it was a lovely warm day so we did P.E. outside
it was a simple version of rounders and I got to play!
in the morning I had the pleasure of taking groups of children outside the classroom
to hold the baby chicks ^^
I got home and was in the biggest mood ever
seriously i dont even know how i got in such a state
I was tense annoyed and didnt know what to do and i was getting annoyed that i was annoyed and in this state. I didnt even know what it is id rather be doing!
So in the end i went to bed cus i was no good to anyone the way i was
I woke up and was much better
so god knows what that was all about!
My stomach hurts every time I eat
it hates me at the moment i have to say
and im getting sick of it
its quite depressing that your stomach hurts when you eat
cus you get as though you dont want to eat and then youre tired cus you havent eaten enough
I havent done a lot tonight
I did order some new make-up to try :3
Tomorrow I think I'm seeing Adam at some point :)
Be nice cus I let him down on sunday and I could have seen him after work today
he offered to cheer me up but i couldnt take the risk id say something id later regret as that would make me really upset so it wasnt worth it. i needed the time to chill out unconsciously
Here is a mascara I have been using this week. I ordered it off ebay
it is nice unusual colour and goes well peach make-up
