Evening~~
I only woke up twice last night
I had taken cold and flu tablets and theres a night time one to help sleep
I could tell it made me drowsy
sadly you dont get many in a packet but Im having some tonight XD
I got up and felt terrible
I almost went back to bed to be honest
But I knew I had stuff to sort out
for example I had to see if everyone had paid on ebay so I could ship stuff off
also I managed to sell my Juice=Juice tickets to a random stranger on facebook
The concert company didn't take refunds so I had £32 worth of tickets
but I managed to sell them to this girl for £30 I was very relieved
So I've made a bit of money this week to say I havent been at work
it's a nice feeling and the money is needed as I am going away tomorrow!
I needed to write Adam's birthday card
I thought I'd google ideas but my god they were ether dead sappy or damn right smutty
so in the end I made my own up but I just wanted inspiration that was all
I put stuff on charge and got the case from the shed
and began to pack~
it wasn't difficult the hardest part for me is choosing what to wear
I need to be comfy and warm if we're going to the seaside in september
but it's all sorted :) I can't pack anymore til I've used the items tomorrow morning
like toothbrush hairbrush etc
Mum took me to post office earlier and to the pharmacy for my meds
so that was a good job done :)
I sat and watched a few hair and make-up ideas
did some cross stitching
went to sleep
then I had yoga which I just about survived!
Tomorrow I am going away~
I have done some fresh nails
Chocolate sprinkles over strawberry and vanilla
I have taken nail varnish with me as Adam's mum wants them done
She doesn't know it yet but shes gonna have seaside nails designed by me ^^
I am off to Whitby with Adam and his parents
we are driving there and staying in a cottage a couple of miles outside of whitby
I will be back on Sunday which is Adam's 26th Birthday
I haven't stayed in a cottage since I was 16 I think.
Should be good I am looking forward to it, a lil anxious but I always am when it comes to going away. I will see Oz as much as I can tomorrow
Anyway Laters~
Evening~~
I didn't sleep through the night but then at least I wasn't
cold in the night, I'd remembered to sleep with my pajama bottoms on ^^
But this morning my god did I feel rough
definitely coming down with something
My voice is horse, im tired, achy, feel sicky and hot and my nose wont stop running
I swear why on earth do I get cursed with illnesses
I'm going away this weekend!!!
Anyway me and mum decided to get off to the city centre
just cus we thought might as well
god it was a massive effort tho I have to say
I was just so weary
I got some new socks from primark so now I have 15 new pairs ^^
thank god too cus mine were dying
I got 2 chokers from there too a black one with a black pompom and a pink fluffy one
both me and mum picked up a snood as they were so soft and only £4
and I got 2 pairs of slippers, 1 for here when mine dies and im gonna take the other pair to adam's house he doesnt know it yet but sure he wont mind im sick of having frozen feet at his.
mum picked up various stuff from beauty stores
we came home and had a brew
i cleaned Oz out he doesnt get cleaned out very often simply cus he doesnt need it
my god he was everywhere!! he even tried jumping out the top of his cage as the roof was off luckily I caught him! otherwise that would have been a nasty accident. cocky rabbit
I had lunch with mum then I painted my nails and went to bed I felt awful
Woke up and didnt feel any better
but I refused to sit and do nothing so I got some fabric out and paper
and made adam a birthday card. Mum has brought him one and it has a rabbit on it and I thought 'i want a rabbit themed one too'
So I've done an abstract picture of a rabbit I will photograph it tomorrow in better light
I packed away and sat with my girls
I designed adam's mum's nails for this weekend as she still wants them done
even tho we're away XD so im doing some seaside themed ones as we're off to whitby ;)
I received an email today from Boots - which is where I have ordered adam's canvas from to be printed. It said
Thanks for your recent order from BOOTS Photo. Your order is being processed and shipped and is ready for collection from the store you selected after the estimated pickup time.
so I took this as it's been shipped and ready to collect despite it saying when I ordered it that it would take 2 weeks. So I rang up the store I'm to collect it from and they said it wasn't in. When I re-read the email it really doesnt make sense. In one sentence my canvas is being processed, shipped and is ready to collect. Well it's ether being shipped or ready to collect, which is it? what a stupid email, someone's english skills suck alright. I will ring again tomorrow just to see if it has arrived be brilliant if it has!!!
My stuff sold on ebay
It all totalled up to £44 so it was worth putting on anyway :)
Obviously I have postage to minus from that. The packaging I managed to re-use from previous packages my dad received. He always gets big parcels. I hope people pay up and I can take it all tomorrow. 1 out of 3 people have paid.
Tomorrow I have yoga if I can make it to yoga
I'm gonna have to pack for whitby also
post office at some point
didn't offer to see adam as i knew id just be pushing myself and we've got the weekend together
not sure what else i'll do to pass the day. I know I need to rest a bit before I go away.
My back kills from acupuncture yesterday. I havent looked at it today
Here finally is the lamp my partner in crime adam brought for me
I had seen it in shops but they didnt have any in stock but that was a few weeks ago
last week he'd surprised me with it. I didn't ask for it he just gave it me =>.<=
But it needed a very specific bulb so I looked round stores and came up empty handed
I had to order online, wait for it to come, fit it and voila!
Super kawaii am I right ;)
I love it its so cute and replaced my boring old lamp
I am grateful for it but he really didn't have to ><
Evening~~
I didn't sleep all that well
as per usual really!
I luckily woke up at 7am ready for acupuncture
What I wasn't ready for was the treatment he was gonna give me
I got there a couple minutes late due to school bloody traffic!
But anyway, I told him I did feel better for cupping he did last week even tho
it was painful for days after. He said "well let's do it again then"
was not expecting that 0.0
my bruising had just about gone so I was kinda gutted to hear that it
would be coming back
so he started with the cupping which I have to say was a lot easier
he said "eventually no bruising will happen you'll just go pink as all the inflammation would have gone so there will be no pain or bruising" so I said it did feel easier
then he whipped out a chinese soup spoon and do not under estimate the spoon
i can not believe the pain that one spoon could make!
i have a high pain thresh hold so i was able to grin and bare it
until a bit on my neck really hurt and i told him so, i mean i would have endured it but i thought id let him know just to go a lil easier there, he said "i'll use my thumb there then"
i said "you thumb is worse than your spoon!!!!" jesus his thumb hurt
his massage is far more intense than karen's thats safe to say!
he then put needles in me after wards a whole 13 of them
jeez I was done for! safe to say i have a colourful back now and a painful one at that
Got home and had a sweet cup of tea with the girls on my knee
then I did some cross stitching until I had to go out for CBT
CBT wasnt too bad and I did understand it all
I got to read my referral form she's been filling in and thats going to be sent off this week.
I left there and went up to the gym to collect adam
then we went back to where CBT was and went round shops
I didnt get much but I didnt need anything I was made to buy this card for adam's dad's birthday which is in december
adam's dad HATES squirrels and I often see him chasing them off and swearing at them XD
so adam made me buy it. thats it get ME into trouble >.>
i was happy making him a card damn it!
We came back to my house and played on pokemon downstairs whilst talking to mum
then we went upstairs just so I could have half hour shut eye as i could not stop yawning.
then got up and sat with Oz downstairs, played pokemon, then home
since then I've been thinking of stuff I ether want to draw or make~
Tomorrow not sure what we're doing as of yet
also tomorrow my things on ebay end and so far the stuff has reached a total of £30
so it was worth doing!
Evening~~
Yesterday I was tired, I'm still not sleeping but sticking the routine I have made
I stayed at home til 12:45pm
I cleaned up everywhere downstairs ready for my parent's return
I was home alone as my brother had gone to work
I was mainly drawing to be honest trying to get adam's present sorted
its not been easy!
Then I got ozwald all ready to go
I brought Oz to adam's house
he got himself in a bit of a state bless him but he soon calmed down
he hopped round the dining room and went into the porch for the first time
adam's downstairs does a loop basically so Oz learned that the dining room and the living room are connected by 1m of porch. He was so pleased with him self, really like he owned the place. Not only that he even ventured up the stairs which the porch leads onto!! He only dared himself to step 6 luckily, I havent even taught him the stairs in our house!!! So cocky
he got fed some treats. But he started trying things with his teeth things I didnt want him to try like the doors and carpet, I worked out he must be hungry so I took him home with adam
We stayed downstairs and played pokemon
My parents were home so it was nice to see mum :)
we went upstairs out the way continuing playing pokemon
then I curled up for 20mins to rest my eyes
At 4pm we went up to adam's house
we didnt do an awful lot but I ended up going on pokemon and looking in a recipe book of his mum's as I said that i've been wanting to bake this week~
we had dinner which was beef and veg it was good and home made lemon cake for afters.
I was full and I laid on the sofa with adam he and his dad were convinced id nodded off for 10mins but I dont recall that I was just resting my eyes damn it but I was very tired so I came home for 8:30pm got ready for bed and sat with Oz he was shattered bless him
Today I woke up at 9am
I was still tired
mum had got the day off work.
I sat with piggies and such in the morning
I sat then tying the ends off my jacket and safe to say its finished!!
then Ive been drawing like all day I feel like. My morning went quick as I had mum come into my room ranting about dad - it's time like that I miss granny cus mum usually ranted at granny, then my brother came into my room and we were just mucking around as usual. didnt feel like I got an awful lot done in my morning.
After lunch I went to bed for an hour I was shattered
got up and drew
went for a 30min walk with mum it was sooo windy but good to get fresh air
then more photoshop
I think I have done the canvas THINK
mum is going to come check it as I like her opinion
then I will get it ordered if we both think its alright
i could make it quite girly but its for adam so my fun is spoiled
he's always wanted me to do a digital drawing of us two and ive drawn 6 drawings of us on this canvas, i just hope he likes it!!
tomorrow I have acupuncture at 8:30am
CBT at 10:45am
adam 12pm
my back still feel tender from the cupping technique the acupuncturist used on me last week truth be told i havent had a bra on all week simply because it hurt to wear one! i'll wear on tomorrow tho. I feel the cupping worked but it was painful the bruising has about gone now.
then going to come back to my house for the rest of the afternoon :)
Evening~
I didn't sleep as well as the night before I have to say
I woke up plenty and it didnt take too long to drift off again
I did dream too like yesterday so at least Im sleeping deep enough i guess
I got up at 9am and started the pet shift
which had to be indoors as it'd been raining all night
so I cleaned out the cages with Oz's help bless him
luckily just as I'd finished it rained! talk about luck
Then I got ready to go over to adam's house
I thought I'd make the effort today so
cute clothes, make-up, curled hair
just cus i felt in the mood!
I got to his house and sat moaning about my morning
mostly about my brother haha and the fact that the jeggings i'd put on
were falling down my arse none stop and it was annoying me like hell
i said i was finished moaning they laughed
I went and got lunch with adam
god it was the best cob ever right - stuffing, chicken, apple sauce
then i microwaved it when we got back it was just amazing i loved it ^^
we sat in the living room for a bit
then played pokemon, then I painted his mum's nails which turned out pretty
impressive as i really drew down a plan of action this time round XD it paid off
then he cuddled me on his bed
before i knew what was happening he had started something without my concent
my bloody homework
god it was torture he held me down and tickled me and did other stuff he knows i hate
like blowing in my ears. damn him
i soon got very very annoyed and was yelling all sorts at him
my hair got wrecked in the process and i was just annoyed
so homework complete. took me ages to calm down tho i really wanted to hurt something
really quite badly. this is all why i dont do anger, it turns very fast to aggression
but its what i had to do
adam said he doesnt want to be a part of any homework next week XD
came home and put pets out
i also put my annoying jeggings straight for the recycling bin
bloody things. adam said "I like em cus i can see your pants when you sit down"
definitely not wearing them again then!!!!!
I sat and did some sewing
my jacket is officially a jacket now but i just need to cut off all the loose ends
I had my dinner and then I put 2 concert dvds in the player downstairs and blasted them out
i had a lot of fun and sweated A LOT it was good tho
buono! live 2010 and morning musume 2010 :D
went for a shower now im here writing up my homework and my diary
i need to draw tho...
tomorrow i am taking Oz to adam's house
and then coming home in the hope of catching my parents come home from holiday
they said theyre ok.
then having dinner at adam's house, both his parents asked me XD
i really feel like doing some baking i want to make some bunny shaped biscuits X3
not sure why!
I got these in the post~
they go on my seat belts in my car
i originally had pikachu ones id made but theyre looking a bit sorry for themselves
so i brought these for £5 and my pikachu ones have gone on the rear seat belts
so cute and my car is blue they match and stitch is my favourite disney character
Evening
I had a really 'normal' night's sleep last night
I had stuck to the rule of no technology an hour before bedtime
It didn't take me too long to get off to sleep as I was drowsy from the tea
I woke up at 12:30am but soon drifted off again
next I woke up at 5:30am (which is an improvement)
got off to sleep then next thing I knew it was 9am
so I did pretty well actually and I had dreams everytime I slept!
So fingers crossed I can repeat that tonight!
My parents went away today
I had a normal morning really
just did some sewing of my jacket
I spent hours on my pockets I was trying to get them right
how I wanted them
I was watching youtube videos of how to make bat wing bows
and I got them done in the end thank god
and here they are
Impressive I'd say ;)
I've marked on wear the button holes are going
and I've stitched the bottom to neaten it all up
the pockets cant go on til the buttons are on then I need to attach the sleeves~
it will get finished
but I spent most of my day sewing
All 3 items on my ebay has bids on so its nice that I will be able to shift some junk!
and get a bit of money for it
I brought some bulbs today online who knew bulbs could be so much money -_____-
The agency rang today and I told them I was taking next week
off as well due to poor health
so I have another week off
another week of not earning anything
Going to do some drawing tonight and some dancing
and a shower~
Tomorrow I have the girls to clean out and sort
then I will go up to adam's for lunch and do his mum's nails
then come back and I plan on putting ether a morning musume or buono! concert dvd
in the player downstairs and dance along with it ^^
Fingers crossed I sleep again tonight!
determined to get normal sleep
Evening
Didn't sleep well again
got up for a hot chocolate
this is going on for a long time now but apparently depression
can cause insomnia
mum woke me this morning at 8am as id asked her to cus i had
karen's to go to at 9:30am
and mum vented at me there and then
honestly we both shed a few tears
shes frustrated and hates seeing me like this
saying i dont help myself i put too much on myself
she said she doesnt understand where CBT is going
she sometimes thinks about just how mental i am and that shes got no one
to talk to about it all not even dad so she feels caged with all these emotions
i felt terrible..
she said that going to massage would be putting myself through
more punishment and not to go as my back is still very bruised and painful
so I told karen i wouldnt be coming.
Mum also told me she'd like me to rest today
effectively grounding me really she told me to stay home
so thats what I did
I texted adam to say i wasnt coming out today by order of mum
I got up for breakfast and the girls
then I went to bed til lunch time
had some lunch and stayed up a bit, went on my laptop to draw
then went to bed for another hour
got up and got dressed and ready for yoga which was good :)
felt good to do something
i missed not seeing adam today tho
but i needed the rest i really did but i always put my needs after everyone else's and
i just keep going and going
i need to learn to stop and chill out and to take breaks
I had researched during the day insomnia
I took the online NHS test and it did say I had insomnia (apparently)
it said 1/3 of us will suffer from it at some point in our lives
I read what can be done to help
so Im gonna make a few changes
1. always have some form of hot drink before bed
2. no kindle, phone, laptop 1 hour before bed
3. no dancing 2 hours before bed
4. make sure my room is warm and comfortable
gonna go with that tonight
but i doubt it will make much odds as i never sleep well on a yoga night
just not enough time to wind down
tomorrow my parents are going to derbyshire for the weekend
so i will be in charge of pets
at least i can get on with whatever tomorrow
