Evening~
Took me til almost midnight to sleep
then i woke up at 3am needing a wee -____-
but didnt take me too long to get back off to sleep again
then woke up at 8:30am feeling tired
mum originally was having her hair done this morning
so i was planning on going into the city centre but as it turns out
her hair dresser had to cancel last minute but i still got myself ready
to go out, mum seemed disappointed i wasnt spending time with her
and in honesty with the way i was feeling and my banging headache
i wasnt fussed about going into the city
so i relented and decided id spend the day with her :)
so we ended up going to the other end of the city and going
to some shops there we sometimes go but not often as its a ball ache
to travel there just for a few stores
but as it turns out it was worth going
from NEXT i got a jumper reduced from £20 to £3
a bunny top aged 12 years for £9 so cute i think its a girls dress but i will wear it as a top
yes i fit into some childs clothes -____-
then for some reason they had underwear on clearance....
pairs of pants that were originally £8 were £1 each....£1 per pant
i was about hyperventilating not only that but and heres a big but they had bras on clearance...
bras that were originally £20 reduced to....£1
£1
you cant even buy them second hand from a charity shop for £1
trouble was the shop didnt have any changing rooms so i took a gamble and chose 3 bras
and 4 pairs of pants, mum got 7 pants
we about brought the shop out of underwear XD
I got some joggers from TK MAXX for £12 theyre cool they have a design up the leg
theyre actually mens but size small and looked my kinda size
so ive gone from girls aged 12 to small mens in one day XD i wear anything im not arsed
if i like it i wear it~
we left there to go to the nature reserve literally 1min drive from there
we had a brew and a tea cake and then went for a rather cold walk
it was only 3c today and colder tonight too
then we came home it was 2pm by time we got home
we put our purchases away
i sat and read for a bit then i sorted out my underwear draw
mum counted and i have over 30 pairs of pants XD
its cus i pick them up when theyre like £1 or £2 i never pay full price for underwear
then i rested on my bed for a short time as i was shattered and had enough of my headache
then i decided I needed to finish my picture as I only had the outline to sort
so i can safely announce it is done~
its cute and random
not sure what next will be
maybe ninetails and kyubimon?
who knows
but felt good to do a doodle
looking forward to sleep
hopefully i can sleep
tomorrow no plans of yet
i might sew a new tissue box cover for the bathroom
Evening~
i didn't sleep til gone 11pm then woke up at 1am
then woke up at 4:30am where I never did get back off to sleep
i had to get up right away tho as I was woken by tasting sick in my mouth
so when i did wake up my mouth tasted horrid there was no way i could
sleep with that taste
so i got up made a hot chocolate and went to bed at 5:30am but never did sleep
so i got up at 7:30am
went back to bed at 9:20am and slept for an hour and a half thank god
mum said i looked better for it as she said i looked shattered this morning
i weighed myself
and i havent lost or gained anything over the christmas festivities~
go me :D
when i got up i waited for mum to come home
whilst i waited i did some yoga and mum was off out again so i got her
to drop me off and i ran through a park and ran home
it was cold today so it was hard work but my running gear needed a wash
so i thought id get one more wear out of it then wash it really
i knew i needed to do some form of exercise anyway
I came back and washed my car whilst still sweaty and in my running gear
it was cold and my car needed doing i can just never be arsed to do it in the winter
cus the roads are so dirty anyway
but its done now
i came in and had a much needed shower
then i had some porridge and laid on my bed
got up and changed my bed so i have fresh bed tonight~
not that it will help me sleep any better
tried that sleep tea last night and it was the best tasting sleep tea ive ever had
it was just like a herbal tea not like sucking on plant root
it relaxed me but didnt actually send me off to dream land
i will give it another go tonight tho
i did a bit more of my drawing
just got the outline to change colour wise
and its done! i decided to do soft shading instead of harsh cartoon lines
i will finish it tomorrow
i had a hot chocolate with Oz who happily jumped onto my lap and sat there for ever more hes like a cat at times XD i love him
he is the best natured rabbit ive ever owned
he never has an off day or runs away from me or scratches or bites
he just dead chilled and loving
love him
then we had yoga
first yoga session of the year
she did work us i think i could be hurting come tomorrow
the class was full tho surprise surprise
all those people wanting to shed the festive pounds
tomorrow i might go into the city centre and have a proper look round stuff the sales
but i will see its suppose to be -1c so im not keen about going out
Evening~~
Another night of not sleeping well
sick of being so tired
this morning mum bathed the pigs
it was 8:30am when i got up and she had just finished up
poor millie and alice looked peeved theyd been bathed XD
we had them indoors with the heating on AND a fan heater
lucky girls not even i get that treatment when im cold!
my god did they need a bath tho
minging little critters
I had a shower at 9:15am and then went out to shops with mum
i picked up a new sleep tea Twinnings have brought out
so im giving that a go tonight, sounds alight as sleep tea goes
as past brands ive tried have been horrid but i still drink one brand
one brand is bearable if i add honey and milk which makes it look gross
but it helps mask the teas 'flavour'
we came home and i went on my laptop for a short time then went to bed
my eyes were stinging from staying awake
i got up and had a hot chocolate and cereal as my 'lunch' then i went for a walk
which was alright just quite chilly
i came in and had a brew with Oz and mum
then i looked at rabbit cake ideas as its Oz's birthday on 7th
then did some drawing
ive got the outline and base done on my picture~
im unsure of how to go about shading it at the moment
im not sure whether to have the usual harsh cartoon shading or to do soft pastel shading
then i went and did 30 mins of yoga downstairs whilst having the TV on
had dinner now just back upstairs
might try practising a dance if i can be bothered
got the other half of the sponge and custard to be had yet~
tomorrow mummy is back to work
so i will find a way to entertain myself
or might look for jobs or do some drawing
see how much of a corpse i am i guess
it will be the first yoga session of the year and i know karen plans to kill us
shes always worse after a break shes said so herself -____-
thats me not being able to walk on friday
Happy New Year
and how did your year start you ask?
well I didnt fall asleep til 11pm
then I was rather rudely awoken by selfish people bringing in the new year
with sodding fireworks -_____-
i was awake then til 3am
jesus life is unfair at times
i sent people messages as i thought i might as well as im awake
I got up at 2am and had a hot chocolate and cereal
felt good to get out of the punishment of pain in bed
I woke up at 7:45
I felt like a corpse, not a good way to start the year I have to say
so I went back to bed at 9am
but could I sleep could I bob
so in the end i thought "sod this"
the sun was really shining for the first time in forever
so with the call of vitamin D i got into my running gear and did a rather long run
god I wasnt sure Id finish it but got it done
loads of people were out
i was sweaty afterwards
i came in and had a shower and did a face pack
then laid on my bed as i had bad stomach pains
then at 2pm i had porridge that was my 'lunch'
I sat round reading, sat with Ozwald
who is being cute~ i photographed him the other day
had a brew
and did some drawing
ive started a picture of Tyrunt and Guilmon
doing a digimon meets pokemon kinda picture
love cross overs XD
but im finding tyrunt hard to draw as he isnt a pokemon im familiar with
and i love guilmon ^^
yesterday mother teased me and didnt give me sponge and custard
i had to wait til today
she did a roast dinner as is tradition on new years day
and we all ate round the table
the two days of the year we eat as a family
christmas day and new years day
i was so full but found room for sponge and custard ^^
now just gonna try do a bit more of my picture then sit with Oz then bed
tired man
think we're bathing pigs tomorrow as they stink
not sure what else to do tomorrow really
not thought
i said to mum earlier that last year i set the goals of getting a job and going abroad
both of which i did achieve
but this year what do i want to achieve?
really, what do i want to happen?
i was hoping to come up with something to write on tonights diary
but i literally have no clue
i guess one thing i would like to happen but not gonna pressure myself with it is to go abroad somewhere good somewhere none-european but i have no one to go with
i guess id like some form of proper job too
possibly a better social life
and most importantly for me would be to have better mental and physical health
so i guess theres some stuff to 'aim' for
lets see what 2019 has to bring shall we~
Evening~
Can you believe we're ending another year!?
My god where has it gone
scary ne~
I had to look back at what had happened in 2017 to see if much had changed this year
Last year I had decided to go out with Adam, I was working, I got Oz, I was having CBT
they were probably the main points I think
so this year what has happened or changed :/
well in January I started having sessions from the psychologist and he referred me to see a psychologist, from there I tried different anti-depressants and even tried and anti-psychotic as the psychiatrist thinks I have dissociative Identity disorder. Im still seeing the psychologist and see the psychiatrist as and when
also in January my little boy Oz had his first birthday ^^
February I turned 26! I went to Matlock with Adam and had the day with my mum
April I started coming off tramadol a nasty pain killer I had been on for year, was not easy coming off those buggers but I achieved it, I also achieved coming off antidepressants!
Also in April I attended Antony and Joy's wedding~
During the summer me and Mia went to Mancheser comic con which was lovely just the two of us
September I went abroad for the first time in 16 years, I went to France with Adam and his parents which was nice but also confirmed to me that I didnt want to go out with him anymore
September was also when I ended my relationship with adam which he didnt take well but so needed to be done
October I went abroad on an airplane and without parents! first real independant abroad holiday I went with adam and breaking up with him before the holiday was the best decision ever, I enjoyed myself and its made me want to go abroad again
We lost Pinks this year she suddenly went
November I got my first proper job and dropped it after a month as I wasnt fit for work
in December we suddenly lost Maisy after only having her a year
also in December I started antidepressants again
so yeah a fair bit happened this year
i achieved I think what I wanted to this year
I went abroad and I got a proper job
granted they didnt go as planned as i ended my relationship after going abroad and had to give up my job, but still stands that I did these things and I will remember them
anyway today
well last night i did my nails~
last night I hardly slept cus my god I ached
i got up and had cereal and hot chocolate as i felt seriously sick from medication and from being in pain for so many hours
so when i got up at 7am i was so god damn tired
but I had to get up as I had doctors at 8:40am
i had first appointment but the doctor didnt stroll in until 8:45am good start isnt it
he gave me what i need and for the hormone blood test i need to come off my pill for a month
so i will stop taking that tonight
I came home and mum was ready to go to the city centre with me
we both didnt need much and wanted to get into the city before it got busy
we went round tk maxx and i managed to get the underwear i needed i honestly did so well i got 5 bras!! that is an achievement as im such a small size that its hard to find them and it only came to £24 whereas mum pays £20 for just 1 bra! bargain especially when im picking up two for £1.99 each!!! mum says its cus theres as much fabric on them as a tissue XD cheeky
we went debenams and I got another bra so in total today i got 6 bras so that means its safe to start chucking out my old ones, i never like to throw away unless ive replaced them
we went to a shoe shop for mum where i was about nodding off in my seat i was so tired and mum took ages but i wasnt arsed
we were home for 12:20pm so in time for lunch and i had soup and bread with mum
then i went for a much needed sleep
christ i was shattered
when i woke up mum had finished making the cake for tonight so i was able to lick out the bowl
then i finished my painting!!! im quite pleased with it and mum says its ok to put it up in the kitchen which is why i did it in the first place
its brands you would find in our kitchen
so we have:
Cadburys - chocolate
Heinz - baked beans and sauces
PG Tips - Tea
Flora - Butter
Nescafe - Coffee
Kelloggs - Cereal
Hovis - Bread
I did a bit of yoga for 20 mins and laying around I was tired still
sick of being tired!!!
I did 10 mins of dancing as well
then went for a shower
now just waiting for the pizza to cook then after were having sponge and custard
what a way to bring in 2018!
I think Mia was having a new years party tonight at some friend's house but shes not let me know whats happening and its 7pm and im in my pajamas
i dont want to go cus i went to her party the other night and im so damn tired i wont make it to midnight and its just her friends getting drunk and merry, not my scene
parties arent my thing
so im hoping she doesnt text me but if she does i will just tell her im too tired
tonight will be a quiet one of me being in bed for 9pm probably XD
to me new year means one thing - the date changes so i have to get my new calendar out
its no big deal
if i wake up from the fireworks at midnight then i might text a few people wishing them new years but if not then it doesnt matter, my phone will be on silent thats for sure
no one is waking me saying "happy new year" >.>
that was 2018 anyway
a sorta eventful year i guess
wonder what 2019 will bring~~
hopefully better health, new job, and family, friends and pets be alright
this was 2018 jozu~~
Oh yeah and i found out how long ive had my laptop for
9 years!!!!!!!
i can remember when i got it and people told me "they dont last longer than 4 you know"
and here i am 9 years later
been blogging using the same laptop~
Konbanwa~~~
I hardly slept
it was a night of tossing and turning being in pain
i woke up at 7:45am and got up as I couldnt stand another minute in bed
i know when its bad when i get face ache from the pillow -____-
safe to say i was tired this morning!
I didnt do a lot in the morning
i sat and painted
through out the day i have painted and i got all the logos finished
i finished Flora butter and Hovis bread
just got to do the borders which wont take me long at all as my brother
has kindly given me masking tape for the straight borders~
I needed his help actually as since last night my gmail hasnt worked
and i left it 24 hours and it still didnt work so he had uninstall google chrome
and everything, such a faff for him but its times like that im in amazement to
his tech knowledge and grateful he can do it as i certainly cant!
i fell asleep after lunch as i was just shattered really
then got up and did a bit of yoga and went for a run
i couldnt be doing with a slow walk i just wanted my exercise for the day done and dusted
so i did my usual route then came home for the second shower of the day -____-
then had dinner really
nothing special today
tomorrow i have the doctors at 8:40am
then i might head off into the city centre as i need underwear
my bras are in a mess i mean im gonna check my draw tonight to see if theyre all
in bad shape and assess the situation from there but past few i have worn look like rags
and maybe i could find some in the sales
apart from that there isnt much i need really but thought id check sales out
feel like i want to do my nails tonight
after ive sat with Oz i will do them
sat with him earlier for almost an hour bless him
hes likes a cat he just sits and wants fuss XD
here is a lip stick and lip gloss i got the other week its DHC and good for your lips
i quite like the colour also~
and it came with free samples i must have over 50 free samples now XD
i never use them as i forget about them ><
Evening~~
I had a good time at Mia's party last night
I left around 10:30pm
I couldnt stop yawning I had been up since 5am
it was getting louder as the alcohol kicked in
so yeah I left really
but everyone made a fuss of me and i sat with Mia's cousin Sammi
and we had a catch up
i spoke with mia's mum and mia's aunty too
it was nice
I got home and got in my pajamas and had a hot chocolate
then went to bed at 11pm
didnt fall asleep til gone midnight
i was quite tired this morning when I woke up at 7am
But I got up and i cleaned my pets out
then i read on my bed for a bit then found the will to go for a run
i was running for 25mins i did a different route
very up and down dale i have to say
but made a change to do a different route
i came in and showered
i did some more of my painting
i got PG tips finished and Kelloggs~
Nescafe is almost finished just needs another coat
I've sat and read a fair bit today
just so tired and drained and not been in the mood to do much else really
so not a very exciting day but i knew thats how it would be which is why
i did my exercise in the morning so i could sit back rest of the day
i did do 20 mins of yoga to stretch myself out
and i might slow dance in my room tonight if i have any energy left
apart from that i will just sit with my Ozwald and go to bed
not got any plans tomorrow so i will just see what i fancy doing
probably do some more painting thats for sure~
here is a robin plushie i made using a template from sew desu ne
i made it smaller tho and its gone away with all the christmas decorations now
think i made it christmas eve
