Evening~~~
I had an exact repeat of the night before
woo for me -______-
I got up for school at 6:50am
School was fine I was with the youngest class which I have been in before
but hadnt worked with that teacher
and it all went fine I had two lots of group work
and yeah she appreciated all I did and said I was good at my job
and I got to leave at 11:45! bonus!
I can be a TA with my eyes shut its so easy for me
I came home and mum got home half hour before
me and kindly made me a salad :D
I ate that and dosed on the sofa for half hour
then i went on my laptop watched make up tutorials and then ordered a few
bits of make up just to try and play with
Then as I was left home alone i decided to do some dancing
did kinda well but my god i was so sweaty
why do i sweat so much when i dance!?
good session tho i needed it
so i hit the shower
we havent got yoga tonight i think karen is poorly
so ive had the evening to myself
which has given me the time ive needed to do the picture for Liv and Alacia for tomorrow
just this minute finished it
im pleased with the outcome its cute
and they seem well happy with it also
so i will take that in on a memory stick tomorrow for them to print
now just got like an hour to kill really so i might do a face pack or something
Jack told me ive got lesson prep to do tomorrow for monday its biology
then im doing some biology work
ahhhhhhhhhhhh thats me not sleeping tonight
i hope i dont screw up too much
i just want to get it right and expect better of myself
but Jack said he and alan are around to help
but i will try and figure out as much as i can by myself
think my next art piece is a painting of guinea pigs ><
tomorrow just got school really
mia went gym yesterday so proud haha
she says she doesnt hurt too much today and is going again tonight
wonder how long she can keep this up for
she wants to do it til august but i will be amazed if she does XD
My god I hope I get some sleep tonight
sick of wanting to cry cus im in that much pain
Konbanwa~
Went to bed at 9:30pm
but had to get up and so didnt go back to bed til 2am
i was in so much pain I felt like crying
it horrendous that I didnt know what to do with myself
I slept on top of my bed in my dressing gown just because it was more padded
but i woke up so many times cold
just cold and achy
awful night
i felt like death this morning but still i got up at 7am
as much as i would have liked to have laid in i couldnt stand being in bed any longer
I cleaned Oz out this morning
then I had a shower and went food shopping with mum
I came home and went to bed
then I went out with mum for a short walk
i could not believe the weather it was 18c!!
I came back and went on my laptop and decided
id make mum a mothers day card as I need to and I wasnt in the mood
for digital art work
so I took my time and got that done ^^
Im pleased with it
I started to get nervous as running club was on the horizon
i dont know why i felt so stupidly nervous!
whats there to be nervous about!?
I did some stretches and got myself ready to go
i saw mum's friends as they passed me to do the walking group
mum misses going but shes just having so much pain with her feet she struggles to walk
its taking ages to repair its self tho must be so frustrating to her
so i said hello to them
and my running group they pointed out the route and who was front runner
I found the front runners easy to keep up with so i ran behind the lead runner
until he turned and said he was gonna run 4miles not 3mile and told me the route for 3mile
so i ran the 3mile route becoming the lead runner as there was only 2 people doing 4 miles
so yeah i ran alone, under a full moon
it was nice but i have to question if theres much point in me attending as they run too slow for me
not to show off or anything but they are just too slow, i dont go to push myself
i didnt come away tired in fact i feel i have energy to dance
so maybe im better off running by myself as and when i want to :/
i came home ate my dinner and went for a shower
its now 8pm and im wondering how my evening will go
not in the mood to focus on anything really
heres a blusher i got in the post this week
its really nice, looks like nail varnish XD
Jack gave me a number to ring today as i havent been paid by school
but apparently i wasnt on the february pay list so i was forgotten about
but everything will be owed to me on friday :)
Jack said he's managed to almost sort his paper work out for his house
and that work have agreed to give him a pay rise so he has decided to stay
im really relieved hes staying and not switching schools!
speaking of school
ive got school tomorrow
just a primary school ive been to quite a few times now
with the little ones but luckily its only til lunch
then freedom!
i will be home alone so im unsure what i will do
might dance or draw i shall see
Evening~~
I had to get up at 3:30am
felt horridly sick
i've upped my antidepressant and im blaming that
but i did find out that my pain killers have been reduced to their former dosage
so im happy about that as they were doing bugger all anyway
if i can take less medication i will~
yeah mum said i looked rough this morning
This morning i somehow motivated myself to do some dancing
i did learn some more of crossroad but in all honesty i think ive forgotten it
but i was dripping in sweat, actually dripping
how grim is that
so i showered then i went out to the shops for mum
i picked up the bits i needed
managed to get some rabbit pajamas and slippers
this time of year is perfect for finding rabbit stuff! i love it!
I came home and had some lunch and slept for 2 hours
i felt like road kill once again its my antidepressants
ive doubled the dosage and its taking a lot outta me
i hate it
i got up and went on my laptop
then i had a brew with Oz and mum
he looked tired as he usually does
god he gave me a heart attack last night
he was on my knee and started shuddering i thought he was having a fit or something but turns out he had actually fallen asleep whilst i was stroking his face!!! jesus Oz he'd fall asleep on the washing line im sure. so lazy bunny-idle i call him
ive been drawing this afternoon and evening
I wanted to get the base colour finished on the picture for Liv and Alacia
so this is how far i am
think its slowly coming along
Alacia has seen it on What's app and loves it :D so im happy
not sure what i will do tonight
i went charity shops today and found a Chrono Crusade manga for £1 so i brought it to take to work and read on lunch i already have it so doesnt matter is it becomes wrecked
tomorrow i'll probably do drawing and maybe food shopping with mum
then i will be returning to running club!!
Mia says shes starting the gym tomorrow so im keen to see if she does actually go
Jack signed the housing paperwork today he just has a bit of paperwork to do then he can move in on 28th march! so fast! but i guess thats renting for you
still im happy for him having his own place
Evening~~
I didn't sleep great i was so cold
woke up loads cold
but stayed i bed all night so thats a plus
i got up at 7am
my nails last night tho, my god im so proud of em
just look at these buggers
they look almost professional
so was happy with em~
This morning I had doctors and how you can run 40 mins late for your 2nd appointment of the day is beyond me, what happens when your like 10th appointment of the day?
so i was not impressed with what the doctor had to say
i know i have my illnesses for life but hearing him say "youre gonna be like this for life you know" yes i know!!! no need to rub it in!! i just want help
so the help i got
im staying on higher dose of pain killer (did not want that particularly)
my antidepressant is being doubled (did not want that as well as higher pain killer)
to be referred FOR THE THIRD TIME IN MY LIFE to the sodding pain clinic
honestly only last month did i kick the clinic treatment and now i gotta go back
and ive been twice already in my life
theres nothing they can do >.>
i came back and danced my frustration out
didnt get any further with any dances but practiced what i knew
cus i need to improve
i had a shower
went on laptop and got ready for work
work ahhhhhhhhh so hard!!!!!
theyre trying to train me on biology ><
which im enjoying but its difficult
rebecca had left me instructions on what she wanted from me
and she had been sketchy on the details
and told alan he had to mean and not help much ><
so hard!
i had to make similar bacteria up i made on friday
which i could remember but its the maths i struggle with
im gonna ask dad for help if i can
cus i need it explaining
but i managed to do the lesson prep and make the bacteria
both of which alan checked over
jack kept looking at me and i practically hissed like a cat at him "stop watching me you make me nervous!!" but i got it all right anyway
i had to leave the bacteria out to cool then it needed to go in the fridge, we got to the end of the stairs upon leaving and i said "did anyone put the bacteria in the fridge?" no
so i ran and did that thank god i did cus it would have been dead come morning!
so glad i remembered that bit!!
jack told me he showed off dragonite to alan and that other teachers had seen my doodle of the 4 of us and said how good it was ^^
no one is creative at work im the odd one out
whereas all my friends are creative so im used to being around creativity
at work i stand out XD
i came home had a brew with Oz and mum
about falling asleep
im tired but im also frustrated and i dont know how to unwind
its cus i ache so much and ive had enough
im tired and achy and yeah
jack thinks he's found a flat to live in with a mate and gonna
sign paperwork tomorrow after work so thats exciting
i hope it goes through for him
hes asked me to crop the image of the 4 of us he wants just his head
so ive got that to do at some point
tomorrow no plans as of yet~
Evening~
I didn't sleep through the night
however i did remain in bed all night
I got up at 8am
I looked quite white today
I spent my morning having a go with this masking fluid
doing the wolf picture but it didnt turn out that well
painting white masking fluid on white paper is quite hard
as it drys clear too...
so i couldnt see where id been
still it gave me something to do
then i did 20mins of yoga
and went for a run~
the run was good and i hope to return to running club this week
I came in and had a shower
I made some lunch then i read in bed and fell asleep for an hour
the rest of the day felt long....
just a long dull sunday really
i did get a picture done for Jack as he asked for a wallpaper for his phone
he gave me a few pokemon to choose from
i went with dragonite and i decided that id do it manga style instead of colour
thinking it will look more mature
he was well happy with it
and said he made it his wallpaper ^^
i wasnt fussed what he did with it to be honest as it didnt take too much doing
i like doing art for people
i said he can request anything at any time
ive made a start on a picture for Alacia and Liv but not far
designed my nails for tonight
think i will do tiger stripes but i havent really got a good orange
it went off and i forgot to replace it
so peach will have to do
i feel a bit off and tired
and my god do i ache
im hoping tonight isnt too agonising
tomorrow i am going doctors at 8:50am
to talk about my pain
mum says she might come and back me up
then im gonna go home and dance
i'll have work to attend as well
kinda nervous this week as jack might find out whether they will up his pay or he will move jobs he says he filled out the application form today :/ it would suck to lose him
we shall see
Evening~
Didn't sleep great and had to get up in the night
but hey whats new
i got up at 7:20am
i brought mum the pigs in bed she was well happy having them in her bed with her
so i was glad i could make her morning with such a simple gesture
I did some dancing and im getting
further with Fairies Crossroad
I was an absolute mess so sweaty XD mum was like "you look hot!"
i went for a shower and me and mum went shops
i got a new top and some shorts to wear under my lace trousers that im looking forward to receiving in the post soon
then we came back and i had lunch and i got ready to meet jack
we went and brought mothers day cards for his relatives
and got him some more joggers too and a book
we had a white hot chocolate which comes with a chocolate
and then we went sat and in the pub
we chatted and messed around
i could feel myself try to change but managed to control it
he could tell it was happening too so kept talking to me
and i did pull through
Eko was just majorly jealous and wanted time with him ><
we left and it was lashing it down with rain
i saw my bus and i ran for it
missing it by seconds the driver chose not to wait for me
i thought "git, im not standing for this or waiting 40 mins in the rain"
so i ran
i ran to the next bus stop knowing the bus would have a set of traffic lights to wait at
and knew i was quick even in the rain
and i got it
got on the bus the driver didnt even look at me
i thought "yeah take that, i win"
a supreme victory to me that was
i came in and had dinner, showered as i felt a bit like a drowned rat
and ive got awful stomach ache and its making so much noise!
whats up with it ><
gonna sit with Oz and go bed~
I've offered for Jack to come over to my house for the first time
at the end of the month
my parents will be away so it will be a nice stepping stone for us both
of course im still nervous about him coming over tho
as of today we have been going out a whole month!
tomorrow id like to do my painting
if the weather is good id like to do a run also
here's a figure i loved when i saw and i have never seen before
its Hana from Hanayamata anime
the anime that introduced me to Yosakoi dancing :D
special anime to me so i really wanted this figure
i was so happy i won the bid!
Evening~~
I had to get up and went back to bed at 2am
felt so incredibly sick but i did drink that tea
i wonder why it makes me feel so sick?
I did sleep tho so much so that I didnt wake til 7:05am
as i was having weird dreams
that tea works once you get off to sleep
hasnt helped with pain i dont think tho
I got to work on time and went to print out my picture
I drew for everyone on the Science team
from top to bottom Me, Alan, Rebecca, Jack
and my god the response I got from everyone!!
they loved it!
and printed of 4 A3 copies and laminated them
so we now have one copy in each prep room and people took one home
i was happy that i could make them happy with my art work
Alacia and Liv would like to be drawn next ><
Teachers saw the doodle and thought I was really talented
My morning was different
Jack wanted me to learn from Rebecca
so I spent 3 sodding hours making some bacteria!!
it was so lengthy i could not believe it!
but good learning experience I guess
then I did some tidying up
had lunch where I got the 6 of us to participate in arm wrestling!
i beat the girls anyway
then after lunch i did Jack's washing up and then i went downstairs to help alan
good full on day i was quite tired
after work i came home and went to mia's for an hour
good to see her and she wanted to know every minute detail between myself and jack...
but good to talk to her
then i came home showered and had dinner
then me and my brother went to the shop so i could get some liquid masking fluid
and paint brushes
now im home and gonna sit with Oz
i won some lace trousers last night so i was happy about that
tomorrow unsure what to do yet
the weather looks like its gonna be awful
might see jack this weekend~
