Evening
Didnt sleep great but im not shocked as I slept for 6 hours during the day
had a whole night of tossing and turning really
last night i watched episode 2 of killing eve
that 45 mins always goes to quick
total of 8 episodes~~
This morning I couldnt wait to get out of bed
had enough of the confinement
i had a brew outside with Oz
it kept raining today tho
but the pets could go out this morning and this evening which was good
today i havent done much
kinda felt like another day similar to yesterday
but on the positive side i did get a few more bits done
i booked manchester the train, hotel, convention
i chose my pokemon for soul silver i just need to breed them
i went for a walk with mum
so a bit more productive and i did a bit of drawing and did my nails
but i have done a lot of staring into space
i was left home alone a lot today
so its been me and my thoughts a lot today
very healthy
got my stuff ready for school tomorrow
watched another episode of senko-san
might watch another tonight
heres the picture i have started of her
tomorrow is school
i hope im not still tired ><
then i come home and wiz back out for my last hypnotherapy session
last week she worked on my pain and my pain has been better this week
strangely
if it continues to be good then im gonna ditch my pain killers over the summer holidays
tomorrows session will be emotions, combining me and eko together
i could be a different person...
little apprehensive about it to say the least
Evening
I picked my brother up at 1:30am
didnt have to but I texted him at 12:40 asking if he was ok getting home
and he did ask for a lift
i couldnt sleep so yeah i got on with it basically
didnt go to bed til after 2am
i got up for my hair cut
i havent had anything drastic but it looks better
i came home and i went to bed
i stayed there for 3 hours
had lunch
went back to bed for 3 hours
helped with dinner
ate dinner
did my diary gonna sit with Oz and watch killing eve
tomorrow its fathers day
i didnt get round to making him a card
i was too busy being in a bubble
mum asked on several occassions today "are you ok?"
she also asked
"is your head ok?"
"what are you thinking?"
"youve stared off into space a lot today"
just havent been myself
i have texted jack since 2pm
he was quite keen for me to go over today
but i couldnt be bothered to remain conscious nevermind talking to someone
not seeing him tomorrow ether as hes got a family thing
so i will see him monday at school
im sure ill be back to normal tomorrow
theyre having a night out tonight and i dont want to go
i just said my leg was bad and left it at that
i havent got done anything i said id do today
just slept
maybe everything caught up with me
i was just blank and numb even my taste buds werent awake
jacks heartgold came today and it works fine
tomorrow i will book manchester and sort pokemon out too
i looked briefly at technology today but im not sure about stuff
this morning it was sunny....eerie
i cant remember sun
it has rained all day since but hey i was able to have a brew outside this morning
and i even took photos of my pets as i havent done so in a while so here we are my 3 beautiful little babies
Evening
I actually watched anime last night O:
I found one to watch randomly and gave it ago
im gonna keep with it
its called
Sewayaki Kitsune no Senko-san
I actually slept last night
first time in quite a few days now that i slept all the way through
cant remember my dreams
and i woke up just before my alarm
school was fine
i was happy to see that on next week's sheet
heart dissection was listed ^^ woohoo finally
it was still raining
thats a whole week of rain
loads of places are flooded its unreal
nothing special happened at work
other than julia becoming a mother figure quite quickly XD
she puts me in my place which is good as i need putting in my place
and its nothing mean its all stuff for my own good
as i explained my knee and stuff
i got all my work sorted anyway and got stuff explained to me by jack
ive had to order stuff for work off ebay for work too
he was happy i had won heart gold for him too
so we talked a lot about pokemon
he said he has to spend sunday in birmingham with his family
he said i was welcome to join
but its fathers day on sunday and that truly feels like i shouldnt be there
like id be intruding so im opting out
i think he would rather opt out too as he says its boring and he has to get up early
but i also need something to do on sunday
need out basically
i got home and went to bed
i wanted to be comfy and warm
i had dinner
whilst looking at the pokedex as i want to start soul silver again
so i wanna choose my team
still havent chosen it tho ><
then i took my brother into the city centre hes meeting college friends
i came back and looked online how to play this damn digimon game
as im struggling cus i suck on games....
tomorrow i have a hair cut at 9:30am
im gonna change my fringe as the sides are so long and blend with my hair which is what i wanted but i now want them a lot shorter so i hope it goes well
then im making my dad a fathers day card and wrapping his dvd gift
apart from that i have nothing else to do!
jack and theo are having a night out in the city and ive been invited
but its set to rain, still, and i have my leg injury so it probably wont do me good to get cold and wet and stood up for hours so i think i might have to skip and also id have to sleep over at jacks and hes gotta get up early which is gonna suck after going bed late ill be too tired for monday
so im gonna skip
so im not sure if i will even see him this weekend :/
Konbanwa
I slept better
thank god
been awake since 5:30am but thats better than it has been
school was fine really nothing special to report
i managed to eat a lot during school
but had awful stomach pains
just not worth it its really not >.>
there was a 'compulsory' meeting about student behaviour after school
i didnt want to go cus i couldnt see the point
i saw head of biology leaving and i said id walk with her
as jack had gone to fetch julia
she was like "eh? you have to go? whats the point?"
i was like "i know right!"
she said "ill talk to them for you"
so we went down to see the guy who was giving the meeting
and she asked "do support staff have to attend?"
he was like "no not really but youre welcome to"
i said i was outta here
saw jack on my way back up and told him we dont have to attend
he started walking back with me and said
"ah but it looks bad if only julia goes"
i said "well go go, have fun"
he was like "will you be ok by yourself?"
i said "yes, have fun"
julia went as shes got children at the school and wanted to here what would be happening
jack went too
i on the other hand got peace and quiet
got stuff done and left early as i was early to work
they were still in the meeting when i left
and jack said it didnt finish til 4:10pm
yeah i aint daft, staff meeting are the worst and always over run
jack said i had the better end of the deal as it was boring
i got home
and felt anxious about going chiropractor
mum drove me and came in with me
as i had a gown on mum said "how long has it been swollen?"
i said "its swollen!?"
yep got a rather large lump on the back of my knee....
how i hadnt noticed i had no idea
i had a lot done to my knee and knees
needles in it, massaged, pulled, twisted, cracked
i felt sick afterwards
its now got tape on it to keep it in place
it hadnt gone out of socket but its inflamed, swollen with a lot of fluid, bruised and thats all from walking into the door frame with it
she said it usually takes 4 weeks to fully recover
im about 2 weeks or so in, so i need 2 weeks to heal
thats no dancing for 2 weeks, icing it for 2 weeks and resting it as much as possible
thats gonna be tough
im not good at resting
i am certainly not happy about not exercising it
but its what ive gotta do
so im gonna tell jack tomorrow i gotta watch it at work basically
sure he will be fine with giving me a hand now and again
since coming home i just got stuff ready for tomorrow
had dinner
and ordered stuff online
i won pokemon heart gold for jack
so he owes me
but ill tell him tomorrow he won it
cus hes too busy gaming i think -_____-
tomorrow just friday at work really
nothing special
i hope i sleep again
its still raining
how much rain can one country have in a week!?
wheres it coming from!?
Evening
I keep having nightmares
so sick of it i really am as it keeps me awake
and you should have seen my bed this morning
even the bottom sheet had come away!
just how much was i moving in my sleep!?
at least im burning calories in my sleep i guess
my nightmare was that this child/doll/thing was after me
i threw it against a wall and it landed at a dodgy angle
but still got up...
then came at me with knives
we faught, there was blood
then it starting cutting it's self i asked it to stop then i had to watch as knives slowly seeped out of it skin blood oozing from the cuts
yeah my mind is warped to say the least
i mean where does that even come from?
i dont watch horror or even like blood related stuff
yet i dream gruesome things
and theyres really graphic too
ive been up since 4am
again...
im so tired
what with work and hayfever i am shattered
my eyes look like ive been punched as im tired and have literally rubbed the skin away from my eyes theyve been so itchy from hayfever
anyway today
school was fine
i kept busy and was helping both julia and jack
i made oxygen for julia i was rather proud of myself considering ive only done it twice and both times i watched and guided by jack and he wasnt even there to supervise this time
i got loads done
i hardly ate but still had bad stomach ache
just not fair
i came home in the pouring rain
sick of rain damn it
mum gave me millie to sit with
she took her as i about fell asleep with her and then fell asleep for an hour
i was done in
i couldnt be bothered to talk or listen i just needed tune out time
i havent done anything since then if im honest
just zoning out then getting stuff ready for tomorrow
i knew id find it hard to adjust to working full time
and what with not sleeping, eating and having hay fever
im struggling to keep up!
my leg hurts so much i have a bit of a limp
it is painful and out of place
i even drove home left footed which was an odd experience because driving was pulling my knee. but tomorrow i am going chiropractor and hopefully all will be well after the agonising placing of my knee joint. i hate hyper mobility
im just cursed
i cant even think about having it put back in
truly a necessary evil
tomorrow just school and chiropractor really
mum said she might come chiropractor with me which would be nice
god i hope i sleep tonight -____-
Evening
I had a total repeat of yesterday
waking up at 1am
then laying awake from 4am
the rain did not and has not stopped since yesterday
and the direction of the wind was towards my bedroom
therefor splatting rain up my window all sodding night
i could not sleep
im shattered
im dark under my eyes T^T
school was fine
i got all my stuff done
plus a load of jack's as well
i'll be good at physics soon at this rate XD
but he has so much to do so im trying to help
and he totally appreciates it ^^
i ate a banana at lunch but felt like bringing it up so i didnt eat anymore
i listened to all the teacher complain about it being parents evening XD
i got to leave early as i worked extra on friday
as soon as i got home i had a yogurt, apple and cereal
i was so hungry and felt shaky
i could not be arsed to go to hypnotherapy but of course i went
it was fine and i struggled to come round i think cus i was so tired!
i got home and got changed into my pajamas
and had dinner and sat with Oz as hes not been out all day
well i sat and had a brew with him before work but he hasnt been able to play outside
it literally has not stopped i cant believe how much we've had
i think we have had 6.5mm of rain today it said
which i dont think sounds a lot
my poor brother had to come home during his shift to get changed
as his water proofs were over powered i think
he was cold and wet through
its dark too it feels like autumn
im so tired, dying of hayfever
and everything feels like an effort
so im gonna get my stuff sorted for tomorrow
have a hot choc with Oz and have an early night i think
just another school day tomorrow
Konbanwa~~
I didnt sleep well
woke up at 1am but luckily got back off to sleep
then i woke up at 4am and was pretty much awake from then
id had a nightmare
watching helplessly tourists going into the creepiest forest ever
to watch as the roots of the trees latch on to them and drain the blood from them
the screams, and empty bodies
was disturbing
and i was doing my best to get to the entrance to warn people not to enter
but how ever hard i tried i simply couldnt find a way in and had to keep enduring the image
so yeah safe to say i didnt want to fall asleep again for a while
i got up showered and got ready
it was a chilly morning but it wasnt raining
Oz couldnt be arsed to go out so i sat on the sofa having my morning brew with him
then went to work
work was alright actually
the day certainly passed
i dont think i stopped
and we were all almost half hour late for our lunch
i didnt want to eat but my body was shaking so i knew i HAD to eat
and i ate all the food i had on me
i didnt get stomach pains but i did feel like bringing it up
i got all my stuff done and some of jacks
i had a teacher quiz me on my relationship with jack
i knew she knew but she's never brought it up
so it was nice to talk to her
and from her i found out that another teacher knows about us....
we told jack and he pulled the same face i did XD
i rained allllllll afternoon and all evening
hasnt stopped and suppose to be like this all week too
i got home in the rain
sat with Oz who hasnt been arsed to go out today
i did half hour of yoga
went on my laptop
sat and read and that was it really
quite done in to be honest
but hopefully tomorrow will be less tiring
i have hypnotherapy tomorrow where she will be working on my pain
i dont think my pain has been any different from last week really
so im keen for it to work this week
my cookie nails from last night
theyre ok i guess
might play some digimon tonight
