changed lolita girl

Evening~

Woke up loads last night
not sure why just did, a lot of the time its just to get comfy again
annoying

this morning my parents went out at 8:30am to do the weekly shop
so i sat alone in the living room watching a program mum suggested i watch
paul hollywood eats japan
it was quite good actually and when the next episode airs i will watch it
my brother watched the last half hour with me actually
then I did some yoga for a good half hour

went and played my switch in bed
i literally do a level at a time so i dont play for long like 20mins? if that
then i got to go for a walk with mum as it was predicted rain for the rest of the day
and im glad we got out when it did

i came back and had a shower then lunch
i painted my nails, theyre a cute gradient
then i fell asleep for an hour
i woke up to the door bell
it was my blanket i want to make my jacket from :3 

i sat doing some of snorlax cross stitch but i wasnt really feeling it 
i am on the last colour now tho
its just his biggest part - face and belly XD
i did 20mins of dancing but stopped as i was sweaty and didnt want another shower

after dinner i spoke to jack
im seeing him at the weekend and i hope he trims his beard or else i aint going near him
looks thick and itchy >< i told him that XD
we talked what we would do over the weekend and what meals we would eat
looking forward to a change of scenery it just wont come quick enough!
then i continued with my drawing
i havent done it for days as i wasnt happy with her outfit, but knew if i changed her outfit i would have to change colour schemes but i stuck with it and changed her
shes much cuter now

thats what we are gonna go with i think, the last one wasnt very good

tomorrow
probably exercise, and start my jacket, i can do snorlax cross stitch whenever
chris got back to me and he is sending me work shortly so i have got to make the most of freedom
and i will probably get my stuff ready to take to jack's
as he says i can go over at 11am saturday morning
after we have both done our workouts XD

Pokemon Cross stitch!

Evening~

I got off to sleep so fast last night
but woke myself up at 11:45pm by dreaming I was a wolf, in a fight with another wolf, i went to bite the throat of the other wolf - the killing blow i guess ^^"
and i woke myself up by clamping my teeth together really hard
thank god my tongue wasnt between my teeth....dear god that would have been awful
but it left me awake and sweating >.>
i got up for a wee and a stretch and went back to bed and got off to sleep
strangely 

this morning me and mum went out for a quick walk 
it had rained all day yesterday but wasnt raining this morning
when we got back we cleaned pets out and good job too as it slung it down for hours afterwards!
i did 30 mins of yoga and felt so much better for a stretch 
i hadnt been doing any yoga due to my hands being so bruised from clay making on sunday
but theyre doing a lot better today ^^
then i went for a shower

i got my green frame in the post today ^^
so i started on bulbasaur and got him finished
ta-da~~~

they look good right :3 im pleased with them
i played disgaea in bed and read in bed fell asleep in bed
spent quite a few hours in my bed today
it was pouring down out there

i didnt have any work today
i even emailed chris - cus jack told me to - to see if he has any work for me
i feel bad not doing anything but i have an idea of some work i could maybe do
but i might run it by jack this weekend

after dinner i sat with my brother watching an artist on his ipad
we were both amazed
wish i had painting skill...
then as it had stopped raining and the sun was out, i went for a 20min walk by myself
cus i felt i needed the air 
i came back and gonna sit with Oz and stuff
feels like it has been a really long day today
like i have done 2 days in 1

didnt get snorlax finished im on his tummy and face and paws....but no rush
probably get it finished tomorrow
i havent done anymore drawing ether
i need to tho

my brother has asked if i will cut his hair...due to none of us being able to get a hair cut

tomorrow I will do snorlax and drawing
unless stuff to make my jacket comes
as i received the ribbon today
just need the blanket and i could get started! you watch that will be the last thing to arrive XD

brother is home

Evening~~

I didnt sleep well
ended up getting up at 1:45am as I just felt so sick and kept bringing up bile
i went downstairs for a biscuit and hot chocolate which did help a bit
went back to bed 2:30am and probably took me half hour to actually sleep
woke up at 9am not wanting to get up really

me and mum went for a walk in the drizzle
felt good to get out as i was a bit stiff this morning
i came back and my brother came back about 10mins later
so we talked to him a little bit
then i did half hour of dance and felt better for doing that but i was so sweaty
had a shower and played on my switch in bed for a bit whilst cuddling flump
speaking of which jack said he got the picture i drew of the girl in the pumpkin bikini
said it made him laugh and smile so it did its job :) 
wonder if i will do any more pictures for him
i later fell asleep with flump
i woke up and 10mins later i had my telephone appointment with the pain clinic
ugh
we spoke about how stuff has been and what my life was like before the lock down
as last time i had an appointment was november
i told her how i was feeling and stuff and she said it was understandable and she gave me stuff to do and work on. she asked about my medication and i was honest with her, she told me off for overdosing and i got the whole thing about it not being good for my stomach and can give me liver function problems etc i listened and i will try and behave

my hot chocolate came in the post today its a bloody beast im well impressed
i sent a photo of it to jack he said it looked well good
well got my money's worth there i have to say

its rained pretty much all day
so pets have been inside but i did boot Oz out for 10mins this evening for a wee and stretch
as when i sit with him on the sofa during the day
he literally sit, licks me, grooms himself, sits a bit more. and he gets stiff XD

i made a template for my jacket and sorted out a few bits for it from my stashes 
i caught up with my brother which lead to a few play fights which was nice XD
i think he is happy to be home, he did come home a lil upset as he didnt want to leave her
bless him he really loves his girlfriend X3

i worked on my snorlax cross stitch some more
its coming along alright
watched another keyakizaka46 live 
so done a fair bit today
oh and i was able to check my work email today as well - i felt strong enough to do that
not that i had anything of importance on there!

tonight i need to do my physio exercises >.> damn it
really cant be arsed but its been a few days so i should do it!
oh and last night i finished a dance and started another one
id like to have a recap tonight if i have any energy left over
but im pretty knackered to be honest!

tomorrow probably snorlax cross stitch, clean Oz out, do anything else i wanna do
havent done any drawing for a few days cus i have been doing other bits instead so i guess i could do that if i wanted to

designed my 2020 jacket

Evening~~

I got a few hours of sleep last night
kept waking up to get comfy again >.>

this morning I went for a walk with mum
same old really
it was so much cooler today tho

i got back and went to bed, i was in pain and tired and its what i felt like doing really
when i got up i had my lunch
i wasnt in the mood for a shower but motivated me XD
i did feel better for having a shower

i sat and designed my jacket so i could order my bits and pieces for it
which was my next job on ebay
i spent £17 which is probably £5 more than i usually spend when it
comes to making jackets, but its because im having to buy online instead of shops :/
i should be grateful i can even get stuff

after that i took photos of snorlax
i then put another keyakizaka46 concert on whilst i did some of the snorlax cross stitch
i have half hour left on the concert so i will watch that tomorrow whilst cross stitching
ive done the outline of snorlax and the claws thats it
should be good when its done tho

i told jack i was struggling and that sometimes i cant even open my emails and stuff
he rang me up which was nice
and i felt lighter after i had spoken to him
i told him im a bit crazy half the time and that i feel close to breaking point
even after i confessed that i could feel my voice breaking
i wasnt prepared to talk anymore about it as i would have cried
and i refused to cry
so i talked about something else

tonight might do a bit of dancing
lately i have struggled to learn dances, like its just not happening but i think its my mind set at the moment but i will keep trying

we heard from my brother today 
he says hes ready to come home, he went over to his girlfriends family home on tuesday
so hes almost had a week there now
we think he will come home tomorrow or wednesday
place your bets XD
im going over to jack's this weekend :) 

tomorrow 
probably exercise, snorlax cross stitch and anything else
havent done any digital drawing for a few days now

baby blanket done

Evening

I got about 4 hours sleep last night
was tired, achy and very noisy in my head!
I got up at 7:30am as I had had enough of being in bed I needed out!

I got up and did 45mins of yoga
my body felt so stiff for some reason
i had breakfast
then went into my room for a bit
i was putting off the day i know i was
mum said she was taking dad out for a walk and to go do some dancing whilst she was out
she was right but i found it hard to motivate myself
i did however and achieved 30mins of dancing, i was sweaty and it was a real effort i have to say
i went for a shower
i was also putting off making the snorlax from clay i said i was going to do today
i think i did every other job but actually get started on it!

in the end i stopped putting off the day
and sat for 5 hours (with a few breaks) and made a snorlax from clay
he must weigh about 500g and about £20 worth of clay
he is a beast
no other word for it
i am pleased with it i guess especially as its probably been the hardest and most ambitious thing i have made with clay to date
i will photograph it tomorrow
in the mean time here is photo of the baby blanket i finished~

i spoke to jack
it was good to speak to him
he is on day 3 of doing exercises and he says he hurts XD finally knows what exercises is and the pain that follows bless him
good to speak to him
seeing him next saturday which should be good
he is missing me
i told i havent had any work through yet, he threatened to give me some >.>
i told him i wouldnt come over if he gave me homework XD

i ordered some hot chocolate online as i have got a shortage going off and i like it in the middle of the night, but the shop wont be open for some time cus of the virus so i ordered online, i didnt get quite what i wanted and was a little bit more money but hey if it helps
then mum said "you do realise there was a tub of it at the back of the cupboard?"...
no i did not, past Jo had stocked up and i had forgotten! but still it will get drank
whittards hot chocolate is amazing, i dont settle for less

i looked for jackets on the internet too
as i am gonna sell the ones i made which will leave me with no homemade jacket
i have got a design in mind but none of the stuff in
so i will need to sit down tomorrow and fully design it and order what i need
i want a red and black jacket
i just cant switch off its gone past 8pm and my head says to design but i need chill out time
so i will go chill out with Oz and my switch 
god i hope i sleep tonight im so god damn tired

tomorrow i have my cross stitch to do
i was gonna go post office but turns out it is shut tomorrow
i will design and order
take photos of snorlax 
and exercise

galaxy nails and finished baby blanket

Evening

I slept in my bed again and got off around 1am
woke up at 8am covered in sweat dreaming of becoming a wolf and
tearing a room full of people apart...ugh my head at times


i cleaned Oz out this morning
then went for like an hour's long walk with mum, up and down hills
my legs ached from an hour of yoga yesterday so they were aching today walking up and down hills but it was nice, was soon warming up tho
i came back and got comfy on my bed and shouted mum if she would throw a blanket on me
if i get comfy its very very very rare so i never want to move cus i want to disturb the moment of less-pain. mum understands this. she threw a blanket on me and i fell into a very deep sleep
mum said neighbours were out, people using lawn mowers, door bell rang, she came in my room with molly, nothing woke me. really odd considering i sleep incredibly light usually

i got up and went for a shower
then i finished the baby blanket it didnt take too much doing actually
then i was trying to work out a snorlax cross stitch for the hoop i ordered thats too big
decided to do snorlax but finding a design that will fit in the hoop has been hard
in the end i printed off a sprite of snorlax and drew a grid over the top of it
it just fits >< but hopefully it will work
ive made a bit of a start on it

ive played my switch
and sat with Oz and the girls, he groomed molly this time
molly is getting better with him whereas at first she literally used to chase him off

i might try working on a dance tonight
i wanted to work on it earlier but my parents were sat in the garden and have prime view of my bedroom and living room and i didnt want to be on show learning a dance XD



tomorrow i would like to make the snorlax clay
however i am not feeling particularly brave and confident with it
but if i take my time maybe it will turn out ok?
gonna take a long while thats for sure

my galaxy nails this week

which have all chipped now sadly
but if i use clay tomorrow they will look even worse
clay sucks off nail varnish for some reason

Flump's pumpkin girl

Evening

I tried to sleep last night
got up for a wee at 1am and climbed into my bed and tried to sleep
and i did get off around 1:30am and i remained IN my bed as opposed to ON it
like I have been the last several nights
got up at 8:30am

this morning i went to pet shop with mum, but i waited in the car
seeing as the pet shop was close to a park we walked round it
which made a change as we have been walking the same routes for weeks!
we walked for 40mins

i came back and had a brew
then i did an hour of yoga with my physio exercises
i was shaking and sweating afterwards
jack said he managed to do his weight work out, so hes doing well
but said theo killed him off XD
i went for a shower

after my shower i sat colouring in the bikini girl from yesterday
so she is finished

i wrote note with it saying "i caught flump trying to pin this to my wall. this is evidence"
im sure jack will laugh at it
only him will understand the joke
i swear our plushies have a mind of their own now
we have given them actual personalities and stuff
mum said it was good
later on i took a 20min walk and posted it to jack
he doesnt know i have done him anything
he should get it start of next week at a guess

i played on my switch a few times
i also had a stab at the baby blanket
it just needs quilting then its finished :) shouldnt take me too long

dad is home saturday and sunday ugh
how unfortunate 
so thats me staying well out the way this weekend
i cant cope with him right
to be honest i cant cope with much full stop
like i feel it wouldnt take much to make me cry or angry
prehaps im reaching breaking point?
due a cry maybe? i know i am bottling my emotions and feelings
we shall see

i have been watching jpop videos mainly keyakizaka46
i love the lyrics to 'eccentric' 
one like 'kawarimono de ii' - i am fine being strange
its a good song but i mainly enjoy:

Mou Mori He Kaerou ka? and fukyouwaon and silent majority and hiraishin

i was doing some research into dances, as i have a few i want to learn but when i try my heart isnt in it which means - it is not the time to learn those particular dances. so i researched hard into the one i do want to learn its by Monogatari and its called Monogatari. But there is no clear video of the dance and its a fast one at that. so i havent learned it in the past just cus ive struggled for videos to learn from but i have amassed a few and i hope i can learn from them - its just no easy learning this way. but i want to try as i can tell this is the one my heart wants to learn!

that will be something i work on tomorrow as its 8:30pm and im tired. plus i need something to work on over the weekend in my room!

tomorrow i will probably finish off the baby blanket
do some drawing maybe
i havent really been doing a lot on the drawing front, just bits and pieces
but there isnt any rush with it anyway
and i dont like sitting there for ages working on it unless i have to

thats all really