started pokemon sword

Evening

Back from Jack's
it is helping my mental health loads by getting out

So tuesday
started my day with a meeting with all of science
i had hardly slept and one thing keeping me up was my anxiety about a stupid online meeting just how stupid and annoying is that!?
as I thought there was nothing to be worried about
but it went on for 45mins!! my god, and i cant say i got a great deal out of it
just more for teachers which is usually is
then as soon as it was over with i was out the door with mum for a much needed walk!
i came back and danced then showered, went to bed
spent time with Ozwald even tho it was hot
then by 4pm I went over to jack's

I showed him that I had got pokemon sword! he was happy and wanted to know what pokemon I wanted, my god he had done my team before i had taken the wrapping off the game....if only he was the keen for other things XD
we did a walk - yet another walk for me
played on switches but i played disgaea5 - still have it to finish!
we went to bed around midnight as the 3 of us sat on the sofa playing games really
i slept pretty well

Wednesday
my cousin turned 22!
woke up at 6am to the sound of something i havent heard in a while - rain
we had to get up as we had a meeting at 10am online but it was our first all staff meeting not just department. it went on for over an hour and once it was done both me and jack said the same thing "didnt learn anything new" it was quite dull if im honest
i got up and showered and we went for a walk
i started pokemon but after 15mins i went and had a nap XD
jack was like "you gotta play it so you can have these pokemon before you go home"
we did a walk in the drizzle as yesterday we actually had rain!
we made jack's character for his next D&D game starting tomorrow
yet another thing to highlight how different we are, i was like "have an assassin or someone athletic or good with guns. Jack you guy is gonna die at  this rate" but what did he do? made a total nerd. someone not good an reading emotions good academically and yeah just a total dork i said "what youve done there is made yourself" my god i would not have gone down that route
but he was dead happy with it!
then he and theo were playing on some dull space game together - theo on his laptop - jack on his PC downstairs in his room
I went to go do half hour of yoga where theo was
afterwards i tried reading manga but i was just tired it got to 10pm
and i said to jack "im really tired" he said "ok well i'll just wait for theo to get to this planet then ill come to bed"
30mins later i gave up waiting and went to bed
grabbed my big hamster plush and went to bed, behind jack who was still on his PC 
i wasnt arsed, i wasnt gonna stay up by myself for nothing, sod the lot of them
i woke up at 1:30am and was in agony i really hurt, jack was awake and hadnt actually been to sleep i told him that i hurt and needed to get up and he decided he was gonna get up and make us both a hot chocolate i told him it wasnt necessary but he wouldnt hear of it
so we sat upstairs til  2:45am and i had got my tens machine on, something he'd heard of but never seen and i havent ever told him i use one. i dont like making myself different. mum insisted last time i took it but i didnt then this time she was like "take it you might need it" and as i had it with me i was gonna use it. jack had a go with it and i have it on a very very weak setting as i cant bare it strong, jack who is rubbish with pain, had it on max...like he couldnt feel it. very odd
we went to bed but it took me til well gone 3am to sleep
so we were both a bit tired this morning

i had a bath and we went for a walk
jack did a lot of the talking he talked candidly about if we got married...he went on and on and went into detail who he would have to invite. it neared 100 as he has over 50 'close' relatives. i have 7 
i would be massively outnumbered 
i would dread the day id be in front of all those people. i hate being centre of attention anyway never mind in front of that many people the majority of which i dont know...
we got back and had lunch
i slept after lunch and jack played on the space game with theo again
when i woke he gave me my pokemon 
i had only been on the game 2 hours and i came across a shiny! shinies are so rare
it wasnt anything amazing it was Chewtle but hey a shiny is a shiny so i caught it and jack said i should have it in my team but im unsure who to swap out for it
i could tell it annoyed him that id only been on it 2 hours and had a shiny XD

i came home and saw my Oz
i sat in the garden with him
ive since sat with him on my knee on the sofa and im about to do so again

tomorrow probably exercise and start drawing out my painting
i may have a meeting with the dept head but not sure yet - just to discuss returning to work but i have health issues so yeah
im staying over at jacks over the weekend and on monday me jack and julia are going into school to tie up loose ends before september as its looking like we as technicians wont be in til september potentially :/ 

finished wolf painting

Konbanwa~~

my nails came out better, Killing Eve was alright

I kinda slept
I got off before midnight anyway which is a plus
I got up at 8:20am and heard mum saying "right thats it you're going home!"
I came downstairs and she said "ive been out to him 3 times in 1 minute! I wasnt standing for anymore!" it was Oz....on mum's plants...
so he had gone back to his cage before id even gotten downstairs, that has to be a new record Ozwald XD usually it gets to 9am and he starts snacking on the plants cus hes hungry so i have to put him home for carrot which he scoffs. Honestly Oz
same every day
Tilly today is quiet, shes eating tho and weighs the same. We have syringe fed her water 3 times today just to make sure she is hydrated in this heat.
we just dont know why shes quiet and withdrawn 
we check her often throughout the day

I went for a walk by myself this morning
and then did 25mins of dancing til i was dripping mess...my god its so hot lately
had a shower
then i painted really
I broke off and did some baking
just felt in the mood to bake
so i baking biscuits and sandwiched them together with Nutella
they were good
i did one in the shape of a willy for my brother, mum was not amused XD but my brother found it good XD and he ate it
then I had a brew with mum and Oz

talked to Jack for a short while
he seemed a bit hard to talk to and kept yawning so i was like "you ok?"
he said "yeah i just got off the phone to my family" but i dont know he just felt a bit off to me
he doesnt seem like hes a hurry to see me despite it being over a week, cus we were gonna meet up tomorrow but he doesnt want to see me til like 4pm cus he has 'work' to do despite him saying work will only take 10mins...i couldnt weigh him up he was hard work. i said id only stay one night but he insisted i stayed 2 as he said there wasnt gonna be much time together otherwise. so i couldnt make up my mind whether he was bothered about seeing me or not! maybe i was reading too much into it. but im seeing him tomorrow at some point. god knows what we are doing. and i will be back thursday. then staying over at his on the weekend.

then i did some more painting, had dinner, finished my painting
did 25mins of yoga which i felt a bit better for
i have another idea for a painting i want to do i just need to get on and start it tomorrow
havent done any digital drawing today as i didnt have the time XD

Start of wolf painting!

Konbanwa~~~

Jo slept!
my god I slept!
took me til gone midnight but i slept through til 8:30am!
that is a good sleep
and i actually woke up not feeling like death
and its been a while since i have felt semi-refreshed

i had breakfast outside with mum and Ozwald
we watched the guinea pigs playing on the grass
tilly has been a bit off today tho, very quiet, didnt finish her cucumber and she lives for food. she just seems like lethargic, im not sure if it is the heat or not. So we have syringe fed her water a couple of times today just to make sure she is actually hydrated. See how she goes, shes eating grass and stuff but just quiet.

I went for a walk with mum, we went into the woods 
glad i have the woods on days like these as its so shaded
i got back and did 45mins of yoga then i had a shower
i felt exhausted and tired but it is simply because of hayfever
also my pain has been awful today, i could have laid in a hot bath all day even in todays heat
just ache big style
so i have had a lot of pain killers today, my stomach feels rotten

i have been working on my wolf painting
its nothing amazing but gave me something to do

i have the black lines to do next then it is finished
might do that tomorrow

i did 10mins of dance practice in my room
and finished Keyakizaka46's kataru nara mirai wo
feels good to finish a dance ^^ still got the other hard one to finish by fairies

i cooked the dinner
we had tuna pasta it was good ^^

im doing my nails again tonight
as my god they turned out so crap last night! i hated them and removed them this morning
i am gonna stick with my original idea of clouds :3 
im gonna sit with Oz, then do nails, then watch killing eve with my parents then go to bed!

tomorrow probably exercise and drawing
the same old
there was a science meeting but its been moved to tueday morning 

loli girl and started wolf picture

Evening

Couldn't sleep and ended up being up til 3am, I took a lot of pain killers too....
then I woke up at 7am and got up
only had 4 hours sleep T^T

I went for a walk with mum this morning
then we came back and cleaned pets out
i did 25mins of dancing i was dripping
went for a shower
then went on my laptop and did a bit of drawing

i had lunch watching Killing Eve on iplayer
then I went to bed for an hour
played on disgaea5 and i can confirm that im on the final chapter!
its good ^^ done 80 hours on it :D
did 30mins of yoga
ive done all this exercise and still sodding ache!!!! life is not fair 
did some more drawing
and then doodled an abstract wolf on scrap paper then i ended up drawing it in my A3 sketch book and i have done a water colour wash background which has made the page rather crinkly...
i have other ideas for it but depends on how well the paper dries!

this is how far i got with my picture today

im gonna sit with Oz now and do my nails
god i hope i sleep i literally cant face another night of being up til 1am in pain alone
Jack says i could go over to his but i will wait 
besides im kinda glad i didnt go over this weekend, theo had invited friends to the park for a picnic then stupidly invited them back to the flat it was only 2 people but still made jack unhappy about it all and i wouldnt have felt comfortable about it if i was there

tomorrow probably painting and exercise and drawing

starting last lolita girl

Evening

Didnt sleep well
probably the first time since lock down that I have fallen asleep before midnight tho
but i kept waking up like every 40mins for some strange reason
then 1:15am i woke up and just couldnt get back off
I felt sick and achy so I got up
had cereal, sat with heat bags and tens machine playing my switch
went to bed at 3am and it took me a while to get off to sleep again
i slept with my thermal socks on which was making me sweat to death...

this morning i looked and felt like death
my skin had a greyish look to it, i had dark rings under my eyes and my lips had no colour
mum said i was grouchy but it was understandable why i was grouchy
i still wanted to go for a walk with her tho
by the time i had had pain killers, sugar, caffeine and fresh air
i felt alright really
i did 20mins of dancing and 20mins of yoga
then went for a much needed shower 

the rest of the afternoon consisted of me thinking about art work i wanted to do
telling myself it would turn out crap
walking away and pouting on my bed
sleeping on my bed
then was outside with my mum and brother til dinner time

i have since started doing a drawing for the final coaster
well should be final coaster
i looked at yesterdays drawing of the emo cat girl and im not sure if i like her or not
she just doesnt seem good enough somehow so i might ditch her and do another one
i shall see
but ive done a rough outline 
i might go do some yoga now as my parents are in the garden out the way and my brother is out
so i have space in the living room to stretch!

i hope i sleep tonight
i felt quite down with it all at 3am
tomorrow probably be same old
its the weekend :/
first weekend at home for a while too
hate being home on the weekends

Spent like £100 today!

Konbanwa~

I was up til 1am 
I was aching and hot >.>
so i ended up getting up for a bit

I slept so deeply tho
those sleeps were you think youve only had an hour and instead its 9:45am when i wake!
my god where has the time gone!?
to be honest this is the first morning in well over a week i havent woken up at 7am by the sounds of the huge lorries/building vehicles havent woke me, usually i hear them reversing beeps
but not this morning mum says she didnt hear them ether
its the huge road theyre building near here which is taking over a year. a yeah of dust and noise >.>

this morning i ate breakfast quickly and got dressed to go for a walk with mum
we did think abut going to a home store but i told her i felt uneasy about doing that
she understood completely so we just did a good walk
my skin is tanned from all this walking in the hot sun! my hair is really lite as well as its so UV sensitive XD
i got back and danced for half hour til i was just dead
then forced myself to shower but there was no hot water so i had a freezing shower
i had goosebumps after it ><

i went online for a bit to see whats what
japan is once again posting to the UK
so i ordered 2 pairs of compression sleep socks which came to a crippling £45 just 2 pairs of socks...made me sick. i have to spend this kinda money on my health. Last night I didnt wear my socks i was just so hot and they are thermal, i got up this morning and my joints didnt feel good so i know i need them >.> 
i ordered a few skin care things im running very short of due to japan not posting to the UK for a while so i was glad to stock up i just hope the arrive!
then  i looked at pokemon sword, its not the first time i have casually looked online for a copy, and i found a brand new one for £35 and in GAME theyre selling it pre-owned for £50 so i know its a bargain but i said to mum "im unsure if i will enjoy it" she said "you never know til you play it, you only live once give it a go" so ive ordered it. i will try it. the last pokemon game to come out was Pokemon Ultra Moon, and it was the first pokemon I have never completed as I simply got bored of it. It put me off buying future pokemon games. But jack has Sword and so has tara and james and theo too and harvey. heck everyone has it even my brother's girfriend XD and they have all told me its good. So i will try. I havent told jack, i wil just surprise him with it as i think he will be well happy to see me joining in with him XD
i also ordered some japanese hair bleach. bit more expensive than the bleach i have brought over the years but im sick of it. it stinks! it really does stink. i use it on my eyebrows but i havent been doing it for months just cus i got sick of using it. i hate the texture and smell. and  i dont think it even does that good of a job! so i saw someone using one on youtube and its a cream and for sensitive skin too so i will give it a go. 
I have a lot to look forward to in the post!

i did some dancing this evening
ive about finished Kataru nara miraiewo by Keyakizaka46
ive really enjoyed the challenge of it. wont ever be able to record it cus of copyright but i like doing it for myself :) literally only have a few seconds to learn then its a case of practicing it :)

i worked on my drawing 
and got that finished but it needs photoshoping

this one looks a bit cute/emo
so now i am on the last one
not sure what she will like yet, then i can photoshop them all and get them printed as coasters!

ive played disgaea5 too i can tell i am on the final chapter
it best end well!

tomorrow probably be another same old day :/

pokemon painting and 3rd loli coaster

Evening

Could not sleep -_____- just ached, annoyingly
and then i stupidly started thinking about school
and i started to feel a little panicky and after the second time of bringing bile up
i decided to get up and get something to eat to get rid of the taste and settle myself and my stomach
i went to bed at 1am

today i cleaned the pets out whilst  mum went shopping
then i did 50mins yoga followed by a 50min walk
then had a brew with mum when i came back
had a shower and looked through some old photos as i had an idea but unsure if to do the idea or not, did make me cringe looking at old photos of myself tho... XD jesus
i havent aged tho! its a bit scary, all my friends look different...i dont... apart from longer hair now
then i was looking for long socks online but the ones i want are from japan and i am unsure if they are posting to the UK right now :/ theyre to support my joints in bed
so i have emailed to see if i can purchase any

i rested on my bed for a bit because yeah it was hot today
and we dont have any fans down from the roof
it was like 28c today, so damn hot
i havent spent any time with Oz on the sofa as he has chosen to be in the shade all day near enough
and i think if he is cool i will leave him

spoke to jack on the phone
he mentioned to me at the weekend he needs to go into school to do a couple of bits and i had said i would go in with him, for myself and to support him. since talking to mum she doesnt think it is a good idea, gave me the lecture on how Jo has poor health. So i mentioned it to jack and he agreed and doesnt want me anyway as he says he plans on doing it all himself even without Julia. the less people in school the better kinda thing. I have said I will take him and pick him up tho as I would no way want to use public transport right now. 

My pokemon painting!

I think it looks alright
i have challenged a few of my friends to name who is who. jack is the only one to know them all up to now - surprise surprise!

i spent a few hours on mangastudio5 drawing my loli coaster
and she is going well
i just dont know which hair colour i prefer so i have just sent it to jack see what he prefers

tonight i might have a quick dance practice as it has cooled down thank god
tomorrow me and mum were on about going to a home store that has re-opened its doors but im having doubts and second thoughts now. feel i shouldnt really. nothing i need anyway.
i will talk to mum she will understand but we both miss going round places together
i need to exercise and ill probably do digital drawing