Ended up having another day off....

 Evening~~

So last night I went to bed, and I could not sleep

I ached so so much I was in tears

I got up at 11:30pm and took more pain killers, had cereal and climbed back to bed

still could not sleep the pain was awful everything hurt, my wrists, my chest - areas i dont usually suffer with just full on hurt. So I got up and overdosed. Was tempted to take a sleeping tablet but with overdosing and my dodgy heart I decided it was best I didnt take them if i actually wanted to see the next day. But my thoughts took a dark turn. I thought about overdosing i thought about self harm it was just bad. I made the decision at 2am that I wasnt going to attend school so I left a note to my parents to not wake me in the morning

This morning I woke up at 8am, I had already texted jack at 1:30am saying i wont be in

im suppose to ring school before 7:30am to say i not coming in

it was 8am and i couldnt give two craps if it was late i still rang in

its why i get jack to call for me cus its on time but the woman was like "Jo needs to ring in herself" so i  did cus shes mardy but it was not on time XD

I spent my morning in pyjamas doing nothing, mum went to see her friend. She was worried about leaving me but I said I was totally fine. I just went on my laptop for a bit

she came home and i said I wanted to do something for myself instead of just suffering

so we dyed eye lashes and eyebrows. I bleached my eyebrows first to blond then I dyed them dark brown and my god theyre so dark!! I have eyebrows i am not used to it! I usually bleach them light cus i hate them dark but i plan on dying my hair red tomorrow and i thought brown would go better than blond.

I then did a face pack, had a shower then did a face sheet which was very nourishing i tell you

then I went to bed, got up for food, went back to bed

then I did a bit more of the drawing i am working on

helped with dinner a little bit

then Jack video called me which was nice of him

he looked tired bless him but he had been to help out at scouts as well so i think that tired him out as he didnt have to cover too much for me today luckily. He just told people i had returned to work too early and pushed myself too much. He also said he had an moany email from the woman in charge of absences moaning that i had called in too late. balls to her. So cus jack is my line manager he got the blame for it XD He insists on seeing me tomorrow. he offered to come stay tonight with me but i told him it was a lot for him to do and to stay home. I am unsure what I will be up to tomorrow but he insists on coming over, think he needs the space from his family XD

we said if i am able we would go look at beds so we know what to order and such when the time comes which will be a good thing to tick off.

and he will have his first sleep over here

we will be sharing my single bed so we shall see how it goes, i have shared it before, its not the most comfortable thing to do so we shall see how it goes anyway.

managed school, Jack was grouchy without me XD

 Otsukarare~

I slept pretty well last night apart from waking up at 5:30am and then I decided to get up at 5:45am cus I had had enough of laying there so began my day really

I actually felt pretty good this morning much to my surprise, I thought I was gonna feel rough

I got Oz out this morning but he had no time for me this morning, wouldnt settle or anything so midway through my breakfast I kicked him outside and he instantly seemed happier >.> just clearly didnt want me this morning!

I got to school this morning and had a txt from jack 'gonna be late' 

turns out he put his pyjama top back on after his shower as its comfier than our uniform, only he forgot to get dressed, walked to the tram stop in his pyjama top (under his coat) realised and then had to walk home then go catch the tram XD good job he didnt actually get on the tram. Idiot. he's always half asleep in the mornings

School went ok, no practicals for me, think they are all kicking off next week so i dont think i even have any tomorrow. so another quiet day for me tomorrow. I passed the day ok, I flagged a bit after lunch but picked up once I had pain killers. 

Julia and then Hannah told me that Jack had been grouchy at work yesterday XD aw he misses me and it clearly shows. Hannah says she stayed out of his way XD He was ok today and happy to see me, he gave me a couple of hugs ^^ he wants to see me this weekend anyway

think we will look at beds maybe this weekend as we will need one

I got home, Oz was too busy to see me, he was happy outside so i had a brew with mum and pain killers and cereal. Yeah topped myself up ^^ i felt better for it then did 40mins of yoga which felt good to do actually. I didnt have the energy for a walk or dance but needed to do something for my muscles and joints

a few things have bids on, on my ebay which is good ^^

https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/lolas-lil-wonderland/m.html?item=303687855083&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2562

I might do some more on my drawing tonight, get the outlines done maybe?

tomorrow is friday! then freedom!

i just hope I can get through the day!

my dull day off sick

 Evening

So today I had the day off

I slept like a log all the way through the night waking up at 7:30am

I had a dream that someone had stolen Flump and I found the guy who stole him, he owned a market and i broke into his storage and took Flump back, made sure to show the guy I had robbed Flump back then he started chasing me, which is when I woke up XD

My god today was soooo dull

I am unsure how I even managed to pass the day!

I did 40mins of very slow yoga this morning, simply to help my achy joints

had a shower

and rested really, I was back in bed at 11:30am for 2 hours

after my lunch mum suggested I see what's what

so I took my temperature which was 35.4 so that was lower than 'normal'

my blood pressure was 105/72 so that was low too

body of a corpse XD

I wasnt concerned, I suppose it just shows I have some sort of virus

I checked in with Jack throughout the day to see how he was

he said it was busy but he was coping and he had covered for me ^^

he asked if he could call me when he got home, and i said it was allowed XD

Mum took me for a walk for 30mins, just did a slow walk on none hilly areas as i was quite done in just doing a simple walk but needed to get out for some air you know?

Then once I was home I looked at home stuff, and then started doing a bit of digital drawing

didnt get far but it is a start and gave me something productive to do

Jack rang me after he had got home

he video called me

and i dont know but he just didnt seem his usual happy self, all week i feel he has been a bit off but im putting it down to the fact he is at his mums and not in his flat maybe?

i will talk to him this weekend hopefully and see how he is

I felt hungry and couldnt wait for my dinner 

i was happy eating it but once eaten i felt really sicky and off

mum had made cake and i cant face it right now but my god i am determined to get a piece down me! i am not missing out on cake!

I got my stuff ready for school as I plan on going tomorrow!!

even if i can not get through the whole day I plan on doing the day

jack said the first period is cancelled due to something or other so no lessons to have a mad dash to get ready first thing at least. He also said there has been a 2nd confirmed case in year 11 so head of science has said on A-level get any equipment/practicals now. We are giving nothing out to the other years apart from textbooks, which is quite sad really. But hey less work for us technicians!

so tomorrow shouldnt be hectic so I plan on  giving it a go~

I dont feel too bad, just very exhausted, achy and sicky. My heart is still beating out of rhythm and i  am unsure why. I will do blood pressure and temperature again later

a day off already

 Evening

I slept really well last night I was really tired tho

but when i woke up this morning i felt poorly, like more than my usual illnesses

i ached and felt sick and weak

but i was determined to get on with the day, so I got up and began the day

and i did start to feel ok

got to school and had loads of running around to do

just a mad morning really

after an hour of running around i had a quick sit down but my heart wasnt beating properly i felt weak and shaky and a bit dizzy so i told jack

he made me a sweet cup of tea and got some biscuits out my locker and told me to sit and rest

i got up and did a bit more work but just didnt feel that good

it hurt to carry things and my legs ached from walking

i told jack, and by 10:30am i made the decision to go home as i worrying about fainting and not being able to drive home. Jack was obviously worried about me but i said i was ok

i got home a 11am and mum came home at 11:30am i had texted her to let her know i was coming home and stuff. I had told her before school i didnt feel well so she knew how i was feeling

she got me a drink and pain killers and took my temperature which was perfectly normal

i wasnt sweating or anything, despite being wrapped up in my bed

i just ache, weak, dizzy, headache and feel a bit sick

kinda like my normal symptoms but amplified 

so im not concerned its corona or anything, theres plenty of bugs going round school at the moment. I have no corona symptoms so im not gonna go get a test or alert school that i could have it as they would make me have a test and take 2 weeks off.

im hoping to be back at work on thursday

i know i wont be in tomorrow as i feel rotten tonight so i need another day to recover

basically i need a wasted day in bed which i am not happy about id rather be in work

today when i did get home i  pretty much slept for a few hours

sat downstairs and went on my laptop looking at home things really trying to design things in my head to do with the bungalow as i feel thats the most productive thing i could today

tomorrow i might sit and draw if i am able to

so yeah tomorrow i am home :/

im annoyed as i havent even been back a month yet and im already taking time off >.>

first case

 Evening

I couldnt sleep last night, I was in bed for 9pm after doing my nails, which im actually happy with this week~

but my heart kept beating out of rhythm which is has been doing for a good week or so now, but in bed last night it was really bad and i was only laying down! it has been doing it when ive ran around a lot and when i have just finished eating. I am not sure why my heart is doing it but i dont like it but i am sure it will soon pass

I was having very strange dreams/nightmares too about ghosts and it was really quite freaky. To say i dont watch ghost films ether

so i was quite tired this morning when i got up, I couldnt face breakfast my jaw really hurt, even just to eat dry cereal so i had a hot chocolate and a cup of tea and i quite enjoyed that for a change actually.

School was fine, wasnt too busy and i ended up doing a lot of computer work actually 

but yeah it was an alright day really

I felt jack was a bit out of sorts today

he missed his tram stop so had to get off at the next stop and walk to school - he simply wasnt paying attention. When I suggested looking at his emails to see if we had heard from the roofing people it took him til the 3rd time of me saying "we should check to see if they have messaged you" almost like he couldnt face it. He was tired from the weekend as he did do a lot over the weekend. and i dont know he just seemed a bit off like he was forcing his smile.

its a big change for him tho moving back home and losing his independence and living how he wants to, but i hope it wont be for long for him. 

i got home and sat with Mum with a brew as my Ozwald was too busy outside. He had been helping mum in the garden a lot she said today X3 and had enjoyed his time outside bless him.

I got up and went for an hours walk as it was such a lovely evening then came back and had my dinner then i was looking at housey stuff online. ordered a bunny lamp for our bedroom-to-be and also a rug of a kitty sleeping for infront of the fire in the living room

its little random things i keep finding and liking, it will make the bungalow feel like home in no time

tomorrow

school really, got nothing major on just a few easy practicals

we have our first confirmed positive case of corona virus tho

so only matter of time before more people catch it and the school closes, but we shall see~

im not worried anyway. my brother keeps saying it will be me to bring it into the house, like i would intentionally do that >.>

about it really just hope i sleep tonight! 

Jack's moved out his flat

 PonPon~

So Friday

I had school and i couldnt wait for the day to end, kinda didnt feel in the mood to work really XD

also jack was leaving at 1pm to go get his drop foot looked at which involved being electrocuted at the hospital and stabbed with needles, he did not enjoy

so I was left with Julia to man the fort

after school I dashed home and got changed then went to Nigel's 

I complained throughout the day that - I did not want to go >.>

but when I got to Nigel's I felt ok and I told him how it was and so he did cupping on me which i asked for, a massage but not too brutal then the acupuncture needles he put little packs of herbs on the top of them and lit them!!! so weird having needles in you which are on fire 0.0 the room was so smoky it made my nose run, and yes i could feel the needles warming up so that was 8 needles in my back on fire. Then he told me he could help my jaw!!! wish i told him ages about it!! i had 6 needles in my left jaw - the problem area. it is a very strange feeling, having needles in the face but when he took them out it felt like i'd had a stroke! my left side of my face felt numb almost when youve had treatment at the dentist.

i came back and showered as i smelt smoky XD and was a bit oily from the massage

then i got my stuff ready and went to jack's

we order takeaway, we had Wagamama - japanese food

I had chicken katsu curry which was meh alright, easy on the jaw but didnt really enjoy what i was eating. those two had a main, jack had a side and theo had 2 or 3 sides i cant remember

then we ordered our desserts - what i live for

we racked up £40 worth of dessert.... 0.0 thats impressive

i had smartie cookies dough with fudge pieces and white chocolate curls, with custard (mircrowaved it all when it arrived)

jack had 'VIP' milkshake (which weighed a ton) and a cake

theo had the same milkshake and 3 other cakey/waffle things - i have no idea where he puts it

so yeah a lot of sugar in the room, i loved my cookie dough and it woke me up XD jack said my pupils had dilated which i am often told when i had a load of sugar at once XD we watched some scout zombie film but i wasnt watching it i was too busy thinking about the food i had just put in my body, so i tried to sleep so i could forget about the thoughts

we played on switchs in bed and went to sleep

saturday

i woke up after having slept well then had a bath and breakfast, a nice leisurely start to my day. Then I went shopping~ jack was packing and so was theo, kinda felt id only get in the way

I picked up some underwear in the sales, a skirt for school which is grey wooly and elasticated waist for school for £13 and then a skirt for school reduced from £36 to £10! i picked bigger sizes as i feel i cant fit comfortably in my former clothes >.> hate tight confining clothes. I got some oven gloves for work too which i was well happy about

i came back and then i started falling asleep on jack's bed, it was lunch time but didnt want to interrupt his packing, i was hungry and was dreaming of doughnuts, so much so that i was drooling on the pillow XD jack woke me and there was so much drool. he said it was gross. that he thought he was gonna end up with 'a quiet, meek nerd girl' but instead ended up with 'an untrained pet' i laughed cus its true. i aint no lady. He warmed me up some soup and we had lunch together. then I took some pain killers and went to sleep on his bed whilst he worked. I was there if he needed help but i know it was stuff only he could do and sort really.

Theo's mum helped him take his stuff over to Harvey's then he unpacked there

we got a txt at 4pm asking if we wanted to go over to harvey's for dinner

i was happy to do that, me and jack walked over to harvey's whic is about a 30min walk

we got there and i was able to see how much work harvey had been able to put into his house. I found theo unpacking his stuff in his new bedroom XD

we had sausage and pork cobs which I cooked ^^

jack jokingly said "a woman's place is in the kitchen" harvey asked how i put up with Jack but i know he was only joking and had come to check on me several times to see if i was ok. harvey said i didnt need to cook. but to be honest i didnt do it for anyone else but myself! it was the warmest room in the house and it gave me something to do rather than sitting cold in an uncomfortable chair so i was  fine doing it. i didnt clear up - i wasnt gonna do that much!

theo said "can me and harvey have you as our maid"

i said "yeah if you pay me and supply the outfit"

he said "would you wear an an outfit?"

i said "yeah id love to wear a maid's uniform" ^^ 

jack said "what you have in mind Jo and what theo has in mind are two very different costumes" XD

i told jack quietly that i wanted to be gone for 9pm cus we had to walk back and stuff it gets cold and i was getting tired and ready for my meds

so at 8:30pm he kindly said we were gonna go ^^ i was glad he didnt make me stay there til 9pm

but to be honest i think jack and theo were quite tired from packing and cleaning, especially as jack had a couple of whiskeys 

we walked back together and he made me a hot chocolate and i took my meds then i played on okami in bed, i turned to see jack reading his phone but looked very sleepy. so we had an early night of 10:30pm

I didnt sleep tho

i woke up at 2:15am aching and had bad stomach ache, i felt sick as well

so i got up and jack offered to get up but i knew he had a lot on so i said it was fine he said "wake me if youre still up in 15mins time"

2 hours later i returned to bed

i had awful stomach pains and sickness, i worried i had eaten something bad. only when it passed did i return to bed

i moved jack out of his side of the bed and crawled into his side - it was warm XD

he cuddled me but i had my cheek on his chest and eventually my jaw said no more and it hurt, i crawled away from him and eventually dropped off at 5am 

got woke up at 7am by his alarm!!!! i was so mad. i was tired and didnt know he had set an alarm

i was so grouchy this morning, he found it cute but that annoyed me more

he made me tea cakes and a cup of tea and passed me my meds

and said "please dont kill me" XD must have looked rough and scary

i had my final bath this morning whilst jack packed and then once i was out i packed my stuff i kept at jack's. His step dad came and they packed up one car load. once they left i left really and i could see jack felt sad. he was happy in his flat and enjoying his independence and now off to his mum's

so i left him to wait for harvey, theo and theo's mum to turn up and help him clean the flat

i wasnt gonna make myself tired for monday when they had all that man power. 

i got home and saw Oz and pretty much went to bed i was shattered

think it was a combo of busy saturday - nigel's treatment and lack of sleep 

i got up and had lunch then did an hour of dance + yoga

showered and then went to put all my stuff away from jack's and what i brought from the shops

took me ages actually

since then i havent done much else been tired and spent time with Oz

designed my nails for the week that i will do later

i got my stuff ready for school too, got my new skirt and my new knee supports to have ago with. Oh and my jaw is doing a lot better!

i will drop jack a txt to see how he is getting on as im sure by now he has finished his cleaning and at his mum's sorting his stuff out. i just hope the bungalow comes soon so hes not on the sofa for too long

he might have the odd night here as my parents say hes welcome too but it means sharing a single bed. so if he stays it wont be til the weekend as if i cant share my bed and have a rough night i do not want to be tired for school so i need to do a 'test' night at the weekend first.

so thats it now the end of an era for jack his freedom has gone

both him and theo have enjoyed staying in the city centre and said they would have continued living there. so i feel like cus of me they have had to move on. But in a way its good cus harvey has been working from home and been getting a bit lonely and theo my god hes hated working from home so now they are together at least they have company. and jack...when we get the bungalow he will be happier im sure. 

im dreading seeing what mood he is in tomorrow morning...i will be ready with a strong coffee for him

let the next chapter start i guess~

takeaway and weekend soon!

 Evening

So yesterday I went to work and did the usual, and worked XD

it was an alright day actually, I had slept ok too apart from waking up to shift sides just to relieve my jaw against the pillow

after work I went to jack's

we didnt do a lot, i said i needed to exercise. he told me to take a night off and have a bath

so i did, and he gave my back a massage when i came out ^^

we had pizza for dinner which i kinda managed but after a while a gave in, i had had enough of chewing so i let him polish it off XD we talked with theo, we had hot chocolate and biscuits and i played on my switch for a bit but called it a night at 9:45pm.

i slept well actually, only to wake to turn sides on my jaw

this morning jack made me eat loads for breakfast damn him, i was so full

work was ok but my god it was hectic, i had 3 practicals across 2 floors first thing in the morning and hadnt been able to prep any of it yesterday due to it all needing to made first thing on the day. i felt like i had done my 10,000 steps by 9:30am! i was exhausted. 

the rest of the day was tiring as usual and i was aching bad, i had my pain killers a few hours earlier than i usually take them but i was just suffering pointlessly 

i got the day done somehow, its like a bloody achievement

it was nice having Luke back tho as he had his corona test results back within 19 hours so he only missed a day of school. 

i got back and had a brew with mum, Oz was busy chasing the pigeons outside XD

so i did 10mins of yoga and 20mins of dance and felt a bit looser then i had a shower, had dinner, sorted crap out and now i have my lunch to sort for tomorrow and meds then i can sit down with Oz then go to bed as i am done 0.0

tomorrow i have school

then i have nigel's at 4:15pm so its a quick wizz home, wizz out

i dont wanna go to nigel's but mum insisted i go, but the thought of more pain doesnt sit well right now as last time i went i hurt bad for days afterwards and felt no better. so i dont wanna go through that for nothing. i dont mind more pain if its gonna help but it did nothing last time - a rant i will put to him tomorrow! 

then i will see jack in the evening for a take away and sleep over!

making the most of being in his flat till his last day on sunday TT^TT