broken microwave :'(

 Evening

So once again I did not sleep -_____- life is cruel

Jack fell asleep rapid and it was like 11pm and I knew I couldnt sleep and stayed up in the living room til 1am I had taken god knows how many tablets. I went to bed with my headache still pounding on the pillow and Jack still snoring but I somehow got to sleep

I woke up at 5am for a huge wee, went to bed then it 9:15am when i got up ><

I had a real bad headache like every noise in the house was amplified 

Told Jack I didnt want to go anywhere today that massage was enough

I had a lazy morning as I felt like death, but did some digital drawing

We had lunch and just as we had finished lunch mum came over and brought the girls who enjoyed the long grass and Oz enjoyed their company

I went for a massage, leaving mum and Jack to garden....i felt really bad doing that but they were fine

they just got on with the garden and Jack managed to get out like 8 stumps....he said he sweated loads and mum did some weeding

I on the other hand really enjoyed my massage nice being out of pain for that hour! Booked to go back during October half term~

I came home and made them both a cup of tea and I had tea with fruit loaf~

I made biscuits once mum had left and then had a very warm bath, not to make me dizzy but did make me pink~ I cut Jack's hair afterwards and he had the bath

We had dinner which was Thai stew, I havent made it in a while and I feel like I have perfected it, it tasted so good even Jack thought it was good and its his least favourite meal I make in the slow cooker. It was just so good!

I went to use the microwave and it sounded like it was powered by a tractor. I pressed stop and the fan came on, which is what it does when the microwave is HOT it had only been on 2 seconds, why did the fan come on? Me and Jack condemned it. I mean its heavily used and always has been heavily used for its 10+ years of life. Its done so well! We unplugged it. Jack has ordered another which we can pick up on friday so I have a couple of days without my microwave T^T

Jack is gonna game tonight and probably game til midnight or something. Means I can go to bed whenever I feel like it as I am so damn tired. I havent done any exercise today but I damn feel like I have after that massage! So I will do some drawing, have Oz inside and then go to bed~

Tomorrow I hope I am not too rough after my massage

think we are going out for ice cream, doing a walk and going to the bank as Jack sorted out finances today and I owe him like £1200....

I hope I can do everything I want to tomorrow. And that I freakin sleep.....

Big ass root and I slept

 Evening

I went to bed with a pounding headache, could feel my pulse on the pillow. Despite the sheer amount of drugs I took before bed ^^;

I slept

like all the way through the night, without waking for probably the first time in weeks! My god the difference when I wake up! I actually dont feel exhausted! I had a good 9 hours sleep and woke up at 7am with the same pounding headache I went to bed with...we both got and got ready to go to school. Sooner we got off the sooner we could leave school!

So we arrived at school at 8:50am we did 2 hours

I got there and didnt know how to organise myself and didnt have any structure and Jack went off to printing so I went up to art and got a couple of supplies and started doing some water colouring whilst i waited for Jack. He sorted me out tho, got me cutting up paper things and sorting a few bits out. I rang occupational health, we talked to Chris and did some computer work as well. Then left. It was a busy 2 hours but it was good to go in and do that. I am sure it will help with my anxiety next tuesday

We got home and brought Oz inside for some fuss, we had a cup of tea and snack with him. Monged out on instagram til lunch then after lunch I went to bed as my muscles were aching from my work out yesterday, I had a headache, stomach ache. Basically I wouldnt have minded being in coma at that point Id had enough!!!

When I woke up 2 hours later....I found Jack outside still gardening so I called him in for a cup of tea and I sat with that and fruit loaf then I did dusted the living room, bedroom, craft room and spare room after all that I went to cook a load of chicken and do the dinner

after dinner Jack came for a short walk with me, I had still got my headache so I felt I couldnt do the exercise I would have done :/ so just did a short walk

then had a shower and apilated and lazered~

Now I will do some digital drawing as I have been saying it for days now and still havent done any!!!

Tomorrow

not 100% sure what we are doing in the morning we are gonna see how we feel as we might go for ice cream somewhere. But at 1:30pm I have a massage :D

I need a massage after digging up roots last week XD heres one and the hole i had to dig for it

pumpkin candles and going work tomorrow

 Konbanwa~~~

Could I sleep last night? could I bob

I was up til 3am

I tried but my head was busy then of course I am aching so I got up for pain killers and they worked for what like 30mins? then back to aching so I got AGAIN and this time Jack woke up and I told him I was getting up for the second time but I am ok and I walked off thinking he would go back to sleep but he got up with me and we had a nice cup of tea and I took yet more pain killers. My stomach was rotting at this point but I fell asleep

Woke up at 9am feeling like hungover. I had a headache and didnt feel able to drive

Mum picked me up at 10am and we went to TK MAXX I got a couple of candles with pumpkins on and pimpkin spice flavour so I am gonna save them for october, I light candles every night as I find it soothing. Mum lights them a lot and I used to always hope she would light them when i lived at home so I guess having candles lit in the evening reminds me of home. I got a metal pumpkin  to put hot pans on and I got a cool long tie die hoodie with cherries in the centre ^^

we went back to mums for a cup of tea and the lunch then before I left I offered to cut truffs's fur and so we sat up the garden doing that and then mum said she would bath them too. So she had clean sows. I helped with that and got a txt from Jack wondering where I was and if I was ok bless him. He knows what time I have my afternoon nap and I was very late for it!

I came home and went to bed then got up and had fruit loaf and tea with him then I did some exercise for 30mins with my weights on, I got rather sweaty so had a shower afterwards 

Then I did the dinner which was noodles and it was goooooood Jack enjoyed it too~

then I went to finish tara's birthday card, sat out with jack and Oz whilst they gardened together, they had done some gardening this morning too whilst I went out with mum

then came in with Ozwald and Jack has joined us now after his shower

tomorrow

ugh tomorrow

going work, for no other reason than to help my anxiety for when I do have to go back next tuesday....so its just me and Jack for a couple of hours then we are coming home for lunch

not sure what I will do rest of the day really

want to be able to sleep tonight but just realised I never actually took my 4pm pain killers....

Sore face

 Evening

I couldnt sleep again last night I had to get up for pain killers. My mind was busy and I had stomach ache so I stayed up til 12:30 and came to bed. I slept through til 8am

We got up and and did our usual sunday shop

came home and unpacked, did laundry and had a brew 

Jack helped me with my soup god it made 9 portions I have never seen that soup pot so full....I couldnt fit everything in as the liquid was starting to come over XD 

I cleaned the bathroom also

Jack put the handles on my drawers and put them in place for me! finally I can have my craft room back! put when we pulled back the dust sheets it revealed that some paint had bled through and on to the carpet....our new expensive carpet.....

I started sweating and felt sick

Jack told me not to worry

I did have some Vanish carpet cleaned so sprayed it to death and had lunch

after lunch I went to assess and clean the carpet. Luckily out of all the colours used it was the least offensive as it was a light cream not the red or dark pink luckily! I started scrubbing and it did in fact come off! Much to my relief. My god we were lucky there

I went to lay on my bed for a bit and by a bit it ended up being 2 hour as I just felt exhausted and didnt really want to do anything - again

I did get up and Jack motivated me into going for a walk, which I was glad about in a way as I needed air, needed  to some exercise. So a good walk was welcomed

I had a shower when I came home as I have not stopped sweating all day and felt quite gross. Jack said I looked gross too XD

I was happy tho as I found some derma barrier cream in my skin care stocks. As I dont think I reported this on my diary but last week or so I started using a retinol cream for my face. I am not new to retinol or new to that brand. It smelt quite strong of chemical or alcohol I couldnt decide. But used it for a good week. And I had a big break out, dry patches and my skin was just in a bad way. Couldnt work out what I had done wrong then I worked out - I used that cream I hadnt tried before. 

Clearly doesnt agree with my skin. I have binned it. Usually I give products a second chance but this has really hurt my skin and I actually dont fancy using it again. So I have been trying rehydrate and heal my skin and it is a slow process. But finding this barrier cream today will give everything a massive boost.

The cream that wasnt good was Glamfox retinol + collagen 

my saviour is Skin+lab derma barrier cream

I use other products too but yeah

not good and probably wont use anything else by glamfox. I had tried one their products before and that was ok, nothing special. But staying away now.

You know your skin is bad when people feel the need to point it out >.> 

I made some biscuits and did the dinner

it kept raining on and off and we checked on Oz to make sure he wasnt just sitting in it and he was in his cage. Later when it rained for the 3rd time I thought I would go see where he was. In his cage. But wet? so when has he been out!? we've been sat in front of the patio we would have seen him! hes such a pudding hes probably been sat in a ball by the side of the house or something. Hes soaked anyway so I have brought him in to dry off. Hes in early but thats fine. I can do my own stuff later on.

I was gonna do tara a birthday card. I was gonna draw 30 bunnies as its her 30th

challenge!

Might be able to start it we shall see

tomorrow

mum has the day off so has asked to see me but we havent decided on what to do yet. I hope I sleep tonight tho.

Just a bit flat

 Evening

Despite Jack staying up late to game I did sleep but I was also drugged up~

I kinda sensed him coming to bed at midnight but not fully waking

I did wake up later for a wee but fell asleep again ^^

I got up at 8am

Jack helped me wash my hair before my hair cut

I went to have my hair cut and had a good inch cut off my hair and my fringe thinned out

So I felt better for a good trim, but just being 'social' in those 20mins was an ask for me

I got to mum's and put my happy face on for her

I stayed there 90 mins and had a brew and didnt have to do anything with the guineas! mum said they were happy eating their morning salad XD

I came home for lunch and brought back a package from mum's Jacks new jeans had arrived. Both brand new and including P&P cost me £10.19 well the tags on the jeans said £35 each!!! he tried them on and said they we comfy ^^ and they look good too~

We had lunch and then I went to clean Oz out, then I went to bed, I got up for fruit loaf and went to lay on my bed I just felt flat, I didnt want to do anything or talk to anyone I just wanted to be alone and not think

Jack found me at 4pm and made me a brew and brought Oz in for me

it did cheer me up a bit but I said I couldnt be arsed with anything or to make dinner

but somehow I picked myself up, did 20mins of yoga with Oz then had a shower and did dinner which was nice actually. I wanted to eat dinner in my pyjamas 

I managed to varnish my drawers so theyre done once theyre dry~

Then I went to do some art but was really wasnt feeling it so I found the diamond painting tara got me for my birthday and started doing more of that in the living room, Jack played beside on his switch hooked to the TV playing pokemon unite with Theo

Now I am gonna get Oz in as I think theyre finishing up soon anyway and its  going dark

I just havent felt myself all day. No spark in Jo today

but it might be back tomorrow. I hope. Hate days like these

tomorrow

food shop in the morning, bathroom to clean and art to hopefully do

absolutely spoiled from Japan

 Evening~

I went to bed with Jack at 11pm after watching the last episode of Inuyasha Final Act!!

I was happy with the ending actually. Felt the end of an era for me as I watched Inuyasha as a teenager now its done. But I know there is Yashahime to watch yet. I shall wait for it to come out on dvd

But I could not sleep, my mind was racing, luckily it was not food thoughts it was just a busy mind really so at midnight I got up for an hour and had pain killers etc and then I fell asleep for the night

Jack was up before me tho this morning

I suggested we go for a walk as my mum said she could come garden in the afternoon, she was baking this morning. So we walked for 1 hour 45 mins.....woah

I was dead....my muscles hurt from my exercises yesterday so I was glad I had got my exercise done for the day but walking that much with sore muscles was kinda hard but it was nice we havent done that walk in a long while. We came in and it was lunch time really

the door went and a big parcel came for me so that was very well timed, literally only a minute after got in. It was addressed to me from Miho in Japan!! she said it could be up to 3 weeks and it was only like a week!

I ate lunch and waited for mum to come, mum and Jack went outside to garden. I died on my bed I felt lazy doing so but I knew realistically I was of no help to anyone in my state.....

When I got up I made a tea for all 3 of us and tried some of the baked goods mum brought over but I didnt like them as she had used the rhubarb from my garden. I dont like rhubarb but wondered if it was one of those baked goods you cant taste the fruit in. wrong. one bite which I had to spit out. taste and texture was gross. I apologised to mum. the baked goods were intended for Jack but I wanted to try ><

I opened up my parcel and OH MY GOD she has sent me loads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! over 20 items. I was shocked. It was like christmas. It never ended and all japanese and cute. I had been spoiled I was so happy!!! Her husband has sent Jack a little toy katana and Miho has made me a Molcar which I was secretly hoping for but I didnt want to pressure her into making me one but she had! mum leapt out her seat, took the molcar and loved it. She loves it little face and cheeks. I never saw it again. Mum has taken it home and put it on her guinea pig shrine apparently XD Im not surprised but it makes her happy, I can see it and know its safe. I have no clue where I am going to put the rest tho! like jesus there is a lot of stuff!!! I am so grateful. I am currently still trying to gather stuff to send to her. I plan on packing up the same box her stuff came in. I will fill that box! Its her 30th in November so as long as I have sent it by then I am good~

I rested for a bit then made my biscuits, did the dinner. After dinner I had a bath then I varnished my drawers, but the draw cases which are finished under my desk ready to receive each draw! Then I got Oz in and tried to sort through some of the stuff! he was very nosy checking it all out. I have put about half away I will do the rest another time

Im gonna look at garden ideas and then watch anime with Jack, as we have finished Inuyasha we are going to start Noragami! Need something with a bit of comedy in it. watching too many serious animes lately! 

then Jack will continue to game through the evening, I said he could. He decided against going out with the IT department today. he said he wasnt really in the mood. 

Tomorrow

got my hair cut at 10am, thank god as my fringe is so long and heavy! part of me is tempted to get the hair lobbed off and have a bob as I still cant tie it up due to pain but then I think "ive grown all this its taken me years" plus my friends will probably get married next year so I feel id want nice long hair for that.

then I will pop into mums for a cup of tea and then come home and varnish my drawers again, clean Oz out, do some drawing. Got stuff to do. Didnt get any drawing today anyway! Oz and his none stop gardening~

Hisuian Growlithe

 Evening~~~

I actually slept well last night, did get up for a wee at 1:30am but actually drifted back off to sleep! I got up before Jack and got Oz up too ^^

We had breakfast then Jack went outside to garden with Oz who is so damn cute, he thinks hes helping by chewing the weeds where Jack is working and stepping where he's working, nudging him as well. Its very sweet and I know Jack enjoys the company

I worked on my Hisuian Growlithe picture which I did get done, pokemon pics dont take long and I just whipped this one up. I did him as a shiny X3

Its ok gave me something different to draw for a change

Mum came over for a brew about 11:15am and stayed til midday

we had lunch then I went to lay on my bed for an hour 

I got up and varnished my drawers and did bits online, did a 45min 3mile 600+ calorie workout then got Ozwald in and had a brew with Jack and Oz then I had a bath 

we went to Harvey's for takeaway

the guys had burgers and fries, then ordered waffle for after. I had the free ice cream that comes with Jack's waffle ^^ he lets me take some of his waffle's toppings and put it in the ice cream and I love it as its just enough to keep me happy and not upset my stomach and hopefully my mind

I did a big work out in hopes that my mind wont be too mental on the ice cream front

I told Theo where I am starting to get muscle definition on my legs he said that part is my quads! so thats what it is called. He says I am doing well and other legs muscles will develop once the quads are more defined :3 Jo will be hench! XD I actually dont want to be muscly I want to be lean~

The guys did a lot of talk about warhammer which bored the pants off me but theyre wanting to start their own game together but god knows when they will actually start it. So they were character building and yeah it was boring. But apart from that I enjoyed it

we even left at 9pm which I was glad of as I was aching and wanted my pain killers and Ozwald

so now we are inside with the chunk 

we will watch anime after we have put Oz to bed

I want to watch the final episode of Inuyasha final act without interruptions! 

tomorrow

unsure what I am doing as of yet, need to speak to Jack about what he wants to do

he gardened this morning then had the rest of the day off as his body is aching and I am not bloody surprised! 

I can always work on something

I hope I sleep well again tonight :3

and today was another negative covid test~