We went Birmingham

 Evening

I was too dead yesterday to write anything. I had no brain cells left

we got up at 7am and put the stew on and Jack washed my hair for me - my  at the moment always looks crap and greasy as its due a cut and dye!

we set off for the train station, and went to catch our train

i was stupidly anxious and was a bit stressy. But it was just anxiety. I havent really travelled for 3 years

We caught the train and got seats thank god cus my legs are not able to support me for an hour standing

I shut my eyes for the 1 hour 15mins journey and Jack read

we arrived and I said I was mega thirsty and wanted bubble tea, not had bubble tea in 3 years and its also not really breaking my diet. It was soooooooo  good and refreshing

then we started looking at shops, we found the shops we wanted to go. The main one being Tokyo Toys. Jack said we werent leaving without something XD there was cute figures and plush but nothing really called out to me. I felt like I would be buying for the sake of buying you know? until I found one little bunny plush by itself!! I loved it. I said to Jack I wanted this one!! so thats all we got!

we were looking for a cafe to go to for lunch. We would be meeting Jacks sister for lunch, Sophie. I was trying to find a place to eat that did food I could eat. I was getting grouchy at this point as it HURT to walk and id had enough, i needed drugs and a bloody sit down

we found some where called Soho cafe. Jack bought me an earl tea but I was so thirsty I practically downed it. Didnt really savour ACTUAL tea. God I miss tea -______-

sophie turned up on time and we ordered lunch. i told Jack that no matter what I eat I will be breaking my diet as no where does paleo food. Unless you count a fruit pot. And i wanted something that will fill me for more than 20mins. So I chose a wrap and luckily it didnt have any sauce it was just chicken and veg so Id only broken my diet with 1 cup of tea and the wrap bread bit. So i didnt push my luck.

we left there after over and hours sit. My bum was going numb

sophie joined us for a bit. and we walked round a few shops

she left us as she wanted to go home and sleep

I said to Jack once she left that I am very much struggling to walk now, could we catch an earlier train home?

so we headed back to the station and there was a shop I really wanted to see Miniso it was full of super cute tat, all stuff you dont need but I could have bought A LOT

and the price!! how were they making any money!? it was dirt cheap but so cute and decent quality too. I got a pumpkin cushion, hair bands and clips. I wanted to study stuff more but we wanted that earlier train so we made a dash for it. We were lucky cus it was just 1 carriage and less stops but meant less seats! thank bloody god we got seats. I couldnt stand i was too tired and in too much pain

my home felt so far away. I just wanted to be home with my creature comforts. I drove us home as I could see the traffic was mounting, it was 4:50pm and I didnt have time for Jack's hesitant driving. I wanted us HOME. So I drove as I get the job done.

we got in and didnt stop from there as just because you go out for the day doesnt mean the house will run its self right! mum has been over and delivered my almond milk for me to try and stirred my stew too, checked on Oz. 

so we were doing mash for stew and sorting Oz and 1000 other things that needed sorting -___- I was shattered and hurting

I had a hot bath and Jack kindly massaged my legs for me which I think helped a lot.

I tried my experiment which was warming almond milk on the stove, pouring earl grey tea leaves and coconut sugar into it. Stirring it til it bubbled then straining into a mug. I have massively been missing warm milky drinks aka hot chocolate. And this wasnt too bad. My next experiment will be warm almond milk with melted dark chocolate drops. But I found something drinkable at least. not amazing but drinkable. Almond milk is an acquired taste

we fell asleep quite quick we were both wiped out. But we'd had a lovely day out together. We havent had a day out for AGGGEGSSSSSSSS 

This morning, I woke up at 8:30am, closed my eyes and next thing I know its 9:30am....

what the hell!? jack got up at 8am. So he sorted oz out thank god

I spent an hour doing yoga then cus I had sweated and felt grim I did go have a shower

then I had to cook Jack some meat for his lunch

after lunch we had to trim the fur round Oz's bum 

I did the shopping list and sorted other stuff out

I had reflex at 2pm it was soooooo relaxing. But because I had been so poorly lately I was expecting it to be bad and painful but wasnt painful at all and charlotte said nothing much cropped up, the best I had been!

I came home and made an almond milk tea

fussed Oz then I drove Jack for chip shop then bought us home, quickly microwaved my leftovers and had dinner. I do not know how Jack ate all that but he was very happy for that little treat. I want him to have a good holiday, I just feel bad I wont join in with take away. Well I cant right now on my diet anyway.

I didnt bother having a bath as I had a shower this morning and I dont want another one. Cant be arsed. Oz is going to bed in a minute

not sure what I will do between now and bed time. I could sleep I know that much.....

tomorrow

doing the dusting of the house T^T 

after lunch mummy is coming over and she says she wil dye my hair hopefully as god my hair looks a mess right now. Kinda gone brassy

I cant see me having any other outer city days out this year but going derbyshire and birmingham this holiday has been nice as we've literally not gone anywhere for 3 years! But now everywhere will start to get christmasy and busy. So I cant be doing that.

we said next year we would do birmingham convention. Its on next month but my cousin went to it in the summer and said it was crap. Covid had killed off all the stores so me and jack said we would give it a year to build back up hopefully. I would like to go manchester too maybe. jack keeps saying he would like to show me newcastle - where he went to uni

first time I have been out with mummy for weeks!

 Evening

i couldnt sleep last night. Despite getting up with Jack til 11pm I went back to bed, still couldnt sleep so was up til 2am. I ached, felt sick and my stomach looked like I was 5months pregnant. Why i still suffer with my stomach despite being on my diet, I dont know -_______- I cant take anymore from my diet! But to chill me out last night I painted some halloween nails :) 

This morning I woke up at 8:45am to find Jack sleeping. I left him sleeping as yesterday he said he felt like he had a cold coming, I wondered if he did have a cold and therefore needed the rest. I let him sleep and went to get Oz who had grown impatient with waiting it would seem, judging by his thrown dish and toy....

Jack got up at 9am tho. He said he felt ok today. Me on the other hand, I feel like I have a cold coming! my nose and throat feels burny and Ive had to blow my nose today several time. I best not be getting a cold on my holidays!!!!!

I didnt see Jack much this morning and I was putting away the stuff mum bought over yesterday

we had an early lunch as he wanted to get off to warhammer world.

at 1pm mummy came to pick me up :D

we went to TK MAXX I got a few things and some new headphones for work. so it was worth going.

mum took me back to hers so I could sit with the girls which was nice, she also showed me the wallpaper and paint shes gonna use in my old room

she bought me back for 4pm as I needed my pain killers, I also needed to see loaf who looks like he had just been having his afternoon sleep in his cage. I sat on my laptop really then got dinner ready as I am so damn hungry but Jack should be home soon. He better be >.>

I will show him what I bought later and we will watch the new pokemon trailer also~

just gonna have a bath later and stuff

tomorrow tho

we are going to birmingham!! we are catching the train in the morning then just having a few hours in birmingham and have lunch with his sister. Should be a nice day ^^ I am looking forward to it I just hope I can walk ok. My legs have been painful since my walk with mia as they arent 100% recovered from my holiday. So today just doing 1 shop was ENOUGH. I wanna wear a comfy outfit.

we have the stew to put on in the morning before we leave. But yeah we're not having too long over there as it is just a shopping place and I cant walk forever and we dont wanna leave Oz all day

pleas please please can i sleep tonight!!

Finally ordered some storage, and told Mia

 Evening

I slept

god I slept

slept like the dead and woke up at 8:50am and mia was coming around 9:30am so had to get up and get ready. So glad I slept tho.

I went for a good hour's walk with Mia and the dogs. i got to hear all about her life post-wedding. Then near my house coming home I told her about my engagement and she was like "why are youo just telling me this now!? why didnt you tell me at the start of the walk!?" I said "because I didnt want to trample on your wedding, I wanted to hear about what you've been up to since your wedding and thoughts on your wedding. Didnt want to just make way for my engagement like your wedding was no longer important" anyway she was SO happy. Honestly so happy. I told her it wouldnt be for a few years and but she did want to know the crucial detail, is she bridesmaid. 

I said "of course you are! I can not do that day without you. I need you by my side on that day!"

I cant do it without her, I need her there 100%. Im also not bothered about having anymore bridesmaid. Think I just need mia really.

I got in and Jack made me a tea, after we drank that it was near enough lunch time

after lunch I started doodling some ideas for halloween nails. 

I looked at some recipes for my diet as I am starting to struggle now. Literally eating the same old stuff and I would KILL for something sweet. God I miss tea, chocolate and biscuits, cake. So I spent £10 on 2 types of fancy ass flour so I can do some baking. I need to pick up some stuff when we go shopping on saturday too. We did pick up 70% dark chocolate as I can have dark chocolate. last time on the diet I tried 90% and spat it out. Far too bitter. I dont like dark chocolate anyway, only if its in something like cake or biscuits. 70% was still gross. So maybe I could get a less percentage one.

I also had a look at storage for my craft room online. something I keep doing but not having success with. Then mum came over she bought some more of my stuff from home - yes almost 2 years later i STILL have stuff at home.....

basically, I havent bought my stuff over cus I need to finish my craft room otherwise I literally cant store all the stuff. But as they are decorating my old bedroom, some stuff has had to come over which is fine. I still have more than that tho...

so I saw mum for a bit

then once she went, I asked for Jack  to help me look at storage as I like his opinion and help measuring where things would go. He also thinks totally different to me so he comes up with things I would never think of. It has saved me buying loads of wrong things in my time here! I can finally finally say that I have ordered some shelving!! jesus christ, so it cost me....£340 T^T its made to order and had to order internal boxes too. I needed sturdy. I didnt wanna worry about it falling to pieces. I also needed  it to last, Im not replacing it any time soon and it will hold a lot of my craft stuff. i am happy with my choice. It wont be here til christmas tho. The boxes should come this week so at least I can sort stuff out and put them in the boxes ready. I cant tell you what a relief it is to finally be getting some storage.

We then did dinner, it was donburi. As I cant have the rice my bowl was veg, chicken and egg. I felt like a body builder....we both had stomach upset after dinner weirdly. 

after dying on the toilet I had a bath then finished my diary

My legs are tired, I dont feel too tired tho. I really hope I sleep well tonight! be good to have 2 days running of good sleep!

tomorrow

I have my Jack in the morning then after lunch he is meeting nerds from work for the first time out of work to go to Warhammer world to play warhammer which he hasnt done for years. So I am really happy for him that hes doing that. Hes been frantically making models for it! Mummy says she will come pick me up and take me out. Mummy is carer tomorrow

big bouquet and Jack told his Nan

 Evening

I had a bad night, took me a while to sleep anyway cus Jack wasnt with me. Then I woke up at 1am for a wee and that was my downfall. I ached really bad and was up til gone 3. I woke up at 9am to an empty messy bed, even Hammington had fled the bed! Jack said I had been thrashing in my sleep. So I was even aching in my sleep!

I felt drained of life this morning

like I had nothing more to give

but had a lot to do.

I didnt bother getting dressed, brushing my hair, washing my face

I just got straight into cooking my breakfast meat, ate that then followed up with cooking meat for mon and tues dinner. Then Jack helped me make my soup. Whilst that was cooking the 3 of us went out to clean Ozwald out

I sat on the sofa, exhausted. My mum wanted to see me tho today but I really wasnt in the mood

I was grouchy. Cus I was tired and achy and my lunchtime pain killers i had been looking forward to may as well have been flour tablets. Cant even say sugar tablets as i didnt get any energy 

So I was gonna go to bed, but we decided to do a short walk. I told mum what I was doing and that I would see her tomorrow when I was in a better mood.

We started walking and my body felt so heavy, like I had bricks on the bottom of my shoes

we did the shortest walk possible and I had the hill to my house yet to do. That was when mummy's car came round the corner. Like an actual heaven moment. She had been to drop flowers and a card off at my house and then said I looked like death, did I want a lift home. So dad spun the car round and took me and Jack home. He even congratulated Jack....absolute shock. Hes even been telling people! didnt think he would be arsed if I am honest!!

I was soooooooooooooo grateful to be home and thanked mum and dad for the lift

I got in and dived into my bed where I stayed for the next 2 hours  

when I got up i felt in a much better mood and a bit better in general

Jack had been on the phone to his nan to tell her the news. She was THRILLED shes wanted our marriage more than anyone XD she cant wait to tell people 

i looked at the flowers and card mummy got us. Massive bouquet of flowers 0.0 shame they will die they are beautiful

we had a  cup of tea then I started on dinner as it was gonna be faffy, I didnt need jack's help so he went out the way cus I wanted to make mess by myself

I was making 2 types of pancakes

I made myself banana pancake mix which turned out ok, I had mine with chopped up orange and strawberries. Jack had normal pancake mix but I cooked his with bacon and baked beans. I put maple syrup on both of ours. Mine was more successful than I thought it was gonna be. Jack loved his as thats very much his kinda meal XD

Then I spent ages on the floor fussing loaf. Honestly me and that rabbit this weekend have spent a lot of time fussing one another. Youd think it was us two engaged XD we had to catch up on lost time cus id been away. I love him so much

I had been putting off cleaning the damn bathroom all day, not feeling like I had the energy for it. But thought if I start it I will just get on with it. Which is what I did.

I had a VERY hot bath. I was lobster Jo. I was determined to burn them aches off. It has helped

now I think we're gonna watch high school DxD, weve not watched an episode since tuesday night!

tomorrow

going for a dog walk with mia at 9:30am, I can tell her my news and also hear about how married life has been treating her. Suppose to rain heavy tomorrow tho T^T

we told Jack's family today :)

 Evening

I couldnt sleep last night, I was too achy and felt a bit sicky too. So I was up til 11pm, Jack came to join me after he finished his gaming.

I then, after the bed was fresh and Hammington was fresh from her bath, had a nightmare and therefore sweated in bed -_______- my hair felt wet when I woke up from it. So come morning I felt quite grim to be honest. 

We went for food shopping and I bumped into mummy ^^ she told me my dad was happy with our news :) 

Once we were home, I had a quick bath to help with my aches and also to make me feel less grim cus yeah even my hair looked greasy from the sweat.

I got out the bath and made myself look presentable and then we headed off to Jack's family's house

we were there to give his sister her birthday card and gift

after everyone was chatting Jack just dropped the bomb shell of "we're engaged"

His family was so happy especially his mum. She said "finally" finally? we've only been together 3 years ^^; how fast should we get married? I think there were hoping for a wedding soon but I said we were gonna wait a bit.

We left at 12:50, I was so hungry and tired

We did lunch as soon as we got in then I went to bed. I was tired.

I got up at 3:30pm and had a brew with Jack

I made some tomato sauce to go with my dinner

sat on my laptop a bit then did the dinner, had a quick bath but didnt both washing my hair again. It will look a mess tomorrow but im not going anywhere.

Jack is off to play with Theo online, he messaged his friends on the group chat to tell them about the engagement and they were happy for us but also made fun of him saying "someone actually wants to marry you"

so im by myself tonight which is fine, I dont mind. I cope. I finished Okami, again, last night so I will have disgaea4 to play tonight. I havent done any exercise today tho so I might do some weights in a bit not sure yet. I really should do some digital drawing but I havent found the motivation

tomorrow

seeing as I didnt do my chores today (I thought as we've been away from the house for 2 days things werent too bad) so I have meat to cook, soup to make, Oz to clean out, bathroom to clean. Fun day tomorrow isnt it!

I got engaged =^^=

 I am home~~~

So saturday 19th of October was a full on day!

We got all ready to go away for our second holiday ever. We dropped Oz off at mums. and Jack drove us off to Matlock - derbyshire

we arrived just fine, we walked up round the old unique houses and pubs to a bookshop Jack wanted to go to. It was full, from ceiling to floor of books and 3 stories! Not my kinda thing but Jack enjoys it. We then went back to the car for a quick lunch

We then drove to Lumsdale Valley. Which is one my favourite places! It has water falls! We had a slow walk down the bank cus its very uneven and covered in leaves. Jack helped me every step of the way in case I fell. My legs were becoming weak and tired and shaky. I was also using my inhaler a lot which adds to the shakiness.

We eventually got to the water fall. Jack sat me down on a rock by the water fall and asked if this was my favourite spot. I said it was, I was using my inhaler and trying to catch my breath. Jack sat with me and once I was ok he told me how much he loves me, wants to spend the rest of his life with me, how happy I make him everyday. Then he whipped out a box. Yup. This was my Jack proposing to me *0* 

I obviously said yes as I love him to pieces and live with the guy. He put the ring on my finger and freakin fitted!!!! its a lovely pink ruby and diamond gold ring. I will have to take a photo of it. But it was so private no one was around, it was so perfect. I was massively in shock haha

We then walked back to the car. Drove back to the Matlock bath and went for tea and cake which was heaven in my mouth. The best toffee cake I have ever eaten.

Then we could check in at the hotel. I rested for a bit. We talked about telling our parents and we said we prefer to do it in person. So I had to keep that a secret til I got home!

But it was still sinking in that he proposed to me, by a waterfall on my beloved Granny's birthday ^^

I asked him if he asked my parents permission, he said he didnt as he was gonna ask but then worried if he asked then actually bottled asking me XD bless him.

He had the ring since May and was dying to give it to me but because I have been so poorly, we havent been anywhere for him to do the proposal. 

We went to dinner and I had a korean chicken and a few chips. I didnt push my luck and over eat as I didnt want to upset my stomach. Jack had a beef burger topped with pulled pork and bacon. He was more happy with his mulled cider XD

We went back to the hotel, I was struggling to walk but the pub was well within walking distance it was great. We had a soak in the bath then called it a night, both of us done in

I didnt sleep well due to pain. I had face ache from not having my pillow, aches from not having my supportive bed, aches from walking. The pain was that bed it was like I could hear the pain. I woke Jack up cus it was pitch black in the room and I needed pain killers and to move. At home we have the diffuser on all night and it lights the room a bit, we also have a street lamp outside our bedroom window lighting the public footpath. All in all, we can see quite well at night. 

We got the next morning and we had paid for bike rental for a local lake cycle path. But as soon as I woke up I could hear the rain. It was hammering it down.....our plans ruined. We were gonna go out for breakfast but we did not fancy going out in that! so I had a nice bath to help my aching body. Then we went to reception and asked if we were allowed to have breakfast. she said it was fine and made a quick note of our room number as it would cost £10 each. She said she would stick it on our room.

we walked through to breakfast. Literally being the youngest there XD I had 1 and a half muffins and some fruit as I didnt fancy much else.

we went back to the room and I flopped on the bed deflated. I fell asleep and woke up at 10:30. When I woke up Jack motivated me. Said we would go out and get wet on the bikes. I couldnt bare the thought of how cold and achy I would get but decided to go out and get the lunch and hope the rain passes. We were gonna drive to Matlock for the sainsburys and buy a meal deal to eat at the lake. But when we arrived I realised you got 3 hours free parking so I suggested we just have a chill day and do the shops and have lunch in a cafe

so thats what we did. All the shops are unique and independent no chain shops to be seen! we found a little cafe run by an elderly couple. I had the best carrot and corriander soup  i have even eaten. we looked round odd little shops. i did see things I like but it would be buying for the sake of buying. I did find a coat in a charity shop for dad and I bought that. That was the only thing I did buy!

Id had enough, it hadnt stopped raining the entire time. It eased but didnt stop til 4:30pm

at 2pm we drove back towards the hotel and had an ice cream. I had a scoop of oreo and scoop of Malteser. then we went back to the hotel. I was relieved as i could barely walk. I fell asleep as soon as we got back. When I woke up we went for food. We went same pub as it was so quiet there, cheap, and Jack saw drinks he wanted to try. I was fine going same place as we didnt go for the food we go to see places. It also relaxed me as I knew what I would be eating! I decided to have same korean chicken as I enjoyed it. Jack had beef lasagne

he had a couple of drinks and I was just on squash. We managed a dessert! i had toffee pudding with ice cream jack has tiramisu. We stayed there a while then did a walk by the river - the river faced the pub. It was all lit up with fairy lights - the walk called lovers walk X3

we went back to the hotel for a bath and bed, Jack kindly massaged my legs before bed and it helped massively

I slept better think the massage helped. We went out for breakfast which wasnt anything amazing as most places opened at 10am. So it was ether wait round for good food or eat anything and get home to Oz and hour earlier. We both missed loaf and loved all the photos and videos mum sent me.

we packed our stuff and gave the key back, the woman didnt charge us for breakfast! so that was lucky, made me feel better about the wasted bike money.

Jack drove home and as soon as I got home I started unpacking everything. Not sure why! just did it. Of course I had been to see Oz as mum had kindly dropped him off a bit earlier. He was happy to see me, gave me licks, ignored Jack XD

I cooked sausages for Jacks lunch then we had lunch

mum came over and she stayed almost 2 hours.

I showed her my ring. She was shocked! I wasnt sure if she was happy at first but it was just shock bless her. she was happy. 

Then once mum left I monged on youtube, went for an early bath, had dinner, now here. Jack has gaming tonight. So I am by myself tonight but i think I will fall asleep rapid tonight. I am exhausted....

we might see jack's family at the weekend to tell them the news ^^

I am so happy about it all. But there is ZERO rush to actually go down the aisle. We are in no hurry and will just do it as and when I am ready basically. Kinda want a new kitchen before blowing my savings on a wedding! 

I feel loved and wanted ^^ I am so grateful to my Jack. Hes been so brave.  Its a massive thing to do and hes been thinking about it a while bless him!

I have had a lovely holiday with him too, yes not everything went to plan but it was lovely all the same. We both enjoyed it and enjoyed getting out, just the two of us. I am grateful to mum for doing top notch bunny care. 

so yeah thats everything I think ^^

I have only told  mum and even when I have told Jacks family

we will not be posting it all over social media cus we're not like that. I will message a few people who arent able to physically see me but on the whole I am just gonna wait til I see people to tell them. I prefer to see reactions. Then posting it online and receiving cold likes

love you my Jack~

On the second card

 Evening

we had  to get  up again, cus of me, again. My stomach. Just doesnt like laying down at night for some reason. Really painful. We were only up til 11pm tho.

I woke up at 8am Jack was already up with the loaf and had cut up the stuff for the stew! Amazing how during the night I am a light sleeping but come morning or  during the day I am a heavy sleeper. 

So I was doing the stew first thing when I woke up.

Then I did some leg and arm weights for 15mins. That would be my exercise for the day.

I got dressed and then we started packing stuff to go away. We needed to sort it all out.

I then sat doing Jack's sister's birthday card. its finished and i hope she likes it!

We had lunch and then I sat painting my nails then I went to  bed.

When I woke up I took Oz outside with me and rang my mum. I was gonna see her but shes full of cold so I dont wanna catch that before we go away. I have told my brother hes welcome to my house to work from home if he wants. 

I was sooooo hungry so we had dinner for bang on 5pm

afterwards I started doing a card for my brother's christmas present as I bought him a voucher so I want a decent card for it.

Then I had a big pamper in the bathroom. I feel so clean!

I might do a bit more of my brother's card tonight

Oz has been demanding bun and chewing up the garden...dread him going mums and savaging her garden....