Hiya all~
Today I woke to the sound of mum shouting "Lily!"
haha its always lily, mum was taking lily & pinky home
so millie and alice could have their morning trot
as it was too wet AGAIN to put them out in the garden
the mornings have been so dewy and damp, winter is on the way =.=
This morning i spent 1 hour, 1 HOUR sorting out the lesson i was gonna do
i havent done it before and its one were I am doing all the work
and the kids watch and listen, i dont like that way
but theres a lot fire involved so no way could they do the work
it took me ages to practice, learn and sort out
i got there in the end
I started them on my snowman and ginger bread man :D
i ended up finishing them when i got back from work
but i think theyre cute, theyre for my mini tree
I uploaded a dance also~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nk9OjIy7jtc
my new Youtube channel is going well i think
i have 32 subscribers and 4500+ views
so its going well, its so nice that people take the time to watch me dance
sometimes i wish i could dance on stage, but idols sing as well
and i highly doubt i could sing i mean i never do
ive never been one for singing along with songs or just randomly
having a sing to myself. never
but sometimes in my dreams i dream that i am a idol/popstar kinda thing
when i do im always singing my lungs off til my throat hurts
i throw myself into it. its so unlike me. why do i dream like that?
ive had quite a few on those performance dreams XD
last night i dreamed that i witch in witch school and we were summoning dragons
yeah find the logic in that one XD i havent read, seen, heard anything about magic for a while
anyway moving on ^^"
the class went fine, the only hiccup was the popcorn machine
its a bit on the mental side
Mad Science gave me plastic party bags to serve the popcorn in
but i soon realized that bringing the bag near the machine caused them to melt!!!
so yeah, i got there in end, but lets just say i was picking up popcorn for a while ><
tomorrow I want to get more decorations for the tree done
my brother will start his university course tomorrow too
lynn's husband den was hospitalized yesterday after an ambulance had
to be called, he had a lil stroke on the bus 0.0
i was shocked to hear this, i hope hes doing ok
i want to dance practice tonight~
i have to give my manager a ring in the morning something about she
wants to swap my school round tomorrow >.>
Good Evening
I awoke to the sound of mum shouting "Lily! Lily!"
I thought i best get up and see her before she goes to work
and to see what lily was up to, she was stubborn and wouldnt
come from beneath the kitchen table XD
I sat with millie and alice as it was indoor play
so i sat with my breakfast on the hall floor whilst they
trotted around, the normal really in the morning
theyre getting much more confident now
i just wish millie would speak
I spent the morning doing Mad Science work
at first i thought i had an after school club to do
but when i studied the register i noticed it said 25th on it
which is friday not monday XD so im working tues - fri this week
so I wrote some notes up for a lesson and i did my time sheet
then i sat on my laptop trying to make sense of teaching courses
theyres level 2 level 3 some you need to be employed at a school
others the course takes a year
i got confused so i emailed both local colleges
i hope i get a reply soon
i had a rest during the day as i felt like it and had the time ^^
i felt so much better afterwards as once again i slept bad
then i got making these
theyre to go the tree i uploaded yesterday
i want to cover the tree in kawaii things, the next ones will
be more "christmasy" like a candle, reindeer, snowman kinda thing
went for a lil walk with mum, i went for a walk yesterday too
its rained loads lately so ive been going for a walk when it actually stops raining
i wanted to talk to mum about my mental health
but i didnt, she is stressed with granny i know she is
and shes putting a brave face on for us all. to trouble her with my problems
is so selfish so i didnt.
basically i made an appt at the doctors to go last friday
but i canceled the appointment as i felt ok, i hadnt heard the voices and had thoughts
for a good week, and i thought "maybe its actually going as im challenging it and aware of it"
but i know its not gone, its there but i started to not notice it
it insisted i weighed myself, i did, and i didnt break the scales i was around
my usual weight maybe a tad over. so that wasnt good enough to my head
also i went to get lunch today and it was deciding which was less calories porrage or soup
i thought "i shouldnt be worrying about my weight i shouldnt be worry about food"
so clearly its still with me. i really thought it was "leaving"
im not sure what to do, after speaking to Karen last week telling her that i thought it was getting
better, she told me "ultimately it is all down to you, to challenge your thoughts, to not follow what it says, they can change your medication but its YOU who has to beat it"
shes right and im not sure what to do
i'll probably go doctors next month or something i dont want to worry mum about all this
and incase your wondering, i did go for the soup :) i told it to shut up
tomorrow i have work, but i want to do some crafting in the morning
and i will upload a short dance
thats all for now~
Evening~
Last night I slept rather bad i was just laying there
it was so frustrating
and when i did go to sleep i heard a fence panel rattle and a shed door shutting
"I'll f***ing kill who ever comes into this garden"
thats what I heard, the voice came from my own head....it woke me up
but i never swear i dont even think about swearing so it was werid
and it was neighbour going into his shed really late last night
anyway i woke up at 10am...i was truly shocked i was thinking
"surely the clocks have go forward right?"
sadly no. i woke up to the sound of hovering
to which i thought in my dazed state "no way! mum is home and hovering up!!"
it wasn't tho luckily it was my brother tidying up for me
he had had a shower, cooked breakfast, cleaned up, hovered up and let tiffin out
all whilst i was asleep. i must have been tired if i slept through him doing all that
anyway so when i got up and saw to the pets
i started doing a lil bit of dancing to try get myself motivated
it was 12pm so i wrapped some cereal up and took it to grannys to go eat over there
i went over for 90mins i ate with her and talked with her and made her 2 cup of teas
she was happy and grateful id made the effort to see her this weekend
i was happy she was happy :) i said id see her again this week
came home and mum and dad had arrived home
glad they were home safe and they even brought me a cake from bakewell!
my ultimate favourite!!!! im savouring it by taking bites of it throughout the day
I got doing some crafting, i robbed mum's hanging basket from the shed
i thought she hadnt used it this year, thinking she wont miss it kinda thing
but i was wrong she had used it and wanted it >< i told her id buy her a new one XD
but I needed it for my new project
christmas tree!!! this is how i far i got with it
i covered the hanging basket in green fabric then i made a star to go on top
next im making loads of little decorations to go on it
its gonna look amazing afterwards~
im gonna do some dancing and sit ups tonight
i feel like i need to lose weight or tone up or something =.=
tomorrow i have work, doing a after school club at a new school
wish me luck~
Good Evening~
Today I woke up at 8:50am I had a rough night of waking up a lot
each time I woke I expected to hear my parents come to bed
I know they werent so god knows why I was listening out for them
I guess its just habit
but when I did wake i felt exhausted, how is that even possible =.=
I got up reluctantly as I knew the pets were waiting for me
So i saw to them and did a few bits and bobs
later I put them all outside and cleaned all 3 hutches
it was hard work and i couldnt believe it was 12pm when i finished
after lunch i cleaned my bedroom as i forgot to do it last weekend
and it was rather dusty ><
i felt better for doing it :)
I then started working on an xmas decoration which i just couldnt get right
it took me a lot longer than i thought it would but i go it done
its made with fluffy wool which has been french knitted (took ages)
and then a wire threaded through it and little bits and pieces glued one
i think its quite cute to hang somewhere
i was making it whilst watching anime - venus project
i rang granny to see if she NEEDED me to come over as i felt shattered
i didnt have the energy but luckily she didnt need me so i'll see her tomorrow
she told she would be fine getting into bed i hope so
my parents come back tomorrow~
i want to work on the next xmas decoration which is gonna be the biggest yet
ive robbed something of mum's to make it XD
i did some dancing today and uploaded a dance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co3XJTqaNsw
Evening all~
Today is friday ^^ ahhhh weekend
i feel really ready for the weekend im not sure why tho
anyway today i woke up at 9am, staying out the way of my parents
who were getting ready to leave on their holiday well break away
only going for 2 nights
mum wasnt sure if to go or not cus of granny but i was like "GO!!"
those two need a break how ever short
when they had gone i sat on my laptop for a lil while
i was attending to the pets all day
had lunch - cereal - i get away with murder when my parents are away XD
I had really bad stomach ache after my lunch so i was on the toilet
looked at the time and i needed to leave i needed to go to the office
but i was in pain i was very annoying
in the end i got up and quickly got changed ran outside and got the guineas in
tried to get tiffin in but he was giving me the run around so i left him
didnt want to but i knew my brother would be home shortly
got to the office and i was trained on a lesson which has a pop corn machine!!!
how cool is that X3 how is it that ive been there a year and not seen this!?
they tried to give me another lesson which i hate as it is CRAP
theres not an hours worth of lesson there, and as i took it to my car i decided to
actually study what was in the box, everything was broken it was disgusting
so i went back and said im not taking this and in the end i got my own way and
took a different lesson box thank god
got home and tiffin was fine, completely none the wiser that he had been left alone
he was asleep in the shed =.=
i put the guineas out and sat and did some christmas loom bands
i found them a bit tricky and i cant say im impressed with my work
but i guess i could put em on my tree :/
i did some dancing and got a dance uploaded
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBVdSOKLiIc
went over to granny's equip with food i was making pasta at her house
i talked to her when i got there and 20mins later her final career of the day came
she was nice and it was nice to meet a career, she guessed that i was my mum's daughter ^^
said i look like her, i said it was compliment as id hate to look like dad
she went and i put the dinner on
granny ate 2 mouthfuls and couldnt eat anymore, i expected this so i wasnt offended
she cant help being sick, i gave her her medicines and took her to bed
i felt like a nurse XD she told me she felt very mothered and enjoyed my company
i cant help but take care of others its my nature i guess
just the way mum brought me up, to help others
i locked her up and went home
now ive got to have a shower and sit with the pets
gogglebox is on tonight so i wanna be sat for that
tomorrow i have all 3 hutches to clean out in the morning so ill be on a mission
but the rest of the day i will be crafting away :D
Good Evening~
Today I got woke up by mum
my first response was "this better be good"
mum "you've got karen's this morning"
so up I got =.=
i really wasnt amused by being woken this morning
but i went to karens for reflex and had a chat with her as always
She told me that compared to my reflex results a couple of months
ago, that i was actually doing better now than what i was
i was quite surprised as it was a bit tender and painful at times
she said last time my feet were pale and colour indicated that
i was depressed and low which i think i was going through a low period
a couple months back, the place that hurt was my emotional center
were we hold stress & emotions, my god it was painful
i dont feel stressed but i guess i am watching my gran slowly die
and that does get to me a bit, yesterday she was talking about her funeral
that made my eyes water, i cant bare to think about such awful things
but its gotta be done. i dont know if im strong enough to attend her funeral
anyway moving on, when i got home i sat crafting away and finished
my 3rd xmas decoration yay yay~
its a letter to santa, cookies for santa and a carrot for rudolf :)
i just randomly had the idea when i was in the shower one evening XD
i thought its a cute ornament to put out when the time comes
ive already planned my next decoration
and i sorted my loom bands out ready to do some decorations with too
i went to work and all 8 children showed up today
they enjoyed the lesson very much and even gave them a ballon X3
they loved the balloon haha
i hit traffic when coming home tho so that sucked a bit but it could be worse
made myself omelet and beans for dinner and went for a walk
with mia and helina, now if im honest i couldnt be arsed i was tired
and my head was splitting but i went anyway
helina talked about her moving out and how her FIANCÉE doesnt want
to move out with her!
mia talked about her amsterdam holiday
i dont feel like i got to talk about much i just gave my opinion on things
home now, tired, gonna sit with the pets then die in bed
tomorrow i have to go to the office
and tomorrow my parents go away for the weekend
Konbanwa~
Today I woke up on time but slept about the same really
but when i got up i decided to try my compression socks again
i had stopped wearing them due to it being warm
and my god i had forgotten how good they felt
So im gonna get back into putting them on everyday~
I started doing my crafting
Last night I randomly saw a tutorial for how to make the bunny bobbles i have
i have a handful of them but i wanted to attempt my own
so i did ^^ i added wire in mine tho to make the ears stand up more
i made it black as i dont have a black one
im sure you will see me wearing it a dance sometime~
I finished off the pretend letter i started yesterday
im putting with it a carrot and 2 cookies
these will be on a plate and will just sit around as a decoration
i had work which was a fair distance away and a few scary roads
but i got there, the staff were nice and the kids were nice but very noisy and chatty
but we got the work done - just
came home and showered, i always feel dirty after being in schools for some reason
tonight is yoga and i am damn well going this week
tomorrow morning im going karen's for reflex
and might be seeing helina and mia, helina wants a catch up 0.0
not heard from her since her birthday last month
im hoping shes ok
uploaded a dance too~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzdd7_i9M0Y&feature=youtu.be
