Evening~
I had a bit of a melt down last night
after my dad triggered my thoughts once again
I tried to hold it in for the rest of the evening
occasionally a tear would leave my eye
mum came up to see me when I'd gone to bed
she wanted to know what was up
I told her that basically id gone backwards and that my head was noisy again
I got a bit upset cus Im fed up and I felt like I was getting somewhere
and then dad knocks it all down cus hes like that
so i was upset in bed
but it did make me sleep!
Mum woke me up at 9am
I played pokemon and read a bit
then I went on my laptop
Mia came over at 11am
we had a cup of tea then went out
We went to a cafe I had cheese toasty, carrot cake and tea
it was all really nice, of course I got stomach ache
we went charity shops afterwards I got a top for work and some jeggings
dead cheap
mia picked up some CDs
then we went Boots, mia saw 3 lipsticks she liked
"which ones shall I get? I like them all. I might buy them all"
"well mia if you look it says 3 for 2!
"oh well that sorts that" she brought all 3 XD it was right in front of her face XD
Then we went home
well i say it as easily as that what i mean to say is
one of the CD's mia brought was one Cher CD from 1999
she blasted out Believe, and my god can mia sing loud
i could not keep a straight face and burst out laughing
a guy in a van gave us such a weird look XD
I showed mia Oz for the first time
she thought he was very cute and pretty ^^
We cracked open the face packs
we used a lemon one from japan which mia had brought over
2 packs of japan's panda white hand cream
then nails!
I ended up painting mias and she loved them which I was pleased about
i mean they were far from my taste but if thats what she wanted!
then we had a brew and she went home to pack for her holiday
i was quite exhausted so i was kinda glad
Did some more drawing
looked at hair tutorials
I had dinner and got stomach ache
went and joined my brother on his bike i went with him for 15 mins
he stayed out longer, id had enough
then showered
I had ago using this yesterday
Innisfree volcanic clay mask
it had great reviews and i wanted to try it
i was really impressed actually!
but it says to only use once or twice a week
and what with today's face pack i think my face needs a bit of peace now
Tomorrow I believe I am seeing Adam
before he goes to work
we have left over pasta from tonight so i might take that over for lunch
or save it for my dinner that night
too much choice XD
Good Evening~~
I'm currently sat in my yoga clothes with a korean clay mask on my face XD
as you do~
I got it in the post today so I thought I'd give it a go really
seems nice so far but see what its like to wash off!
I got an Etude House lip balm too in apricot and I got innisfree setting powder
for when you start to sweat it helps keep make-up looking good
I was checking out Japanese make-up tutorials and I see what products they use
and I found a couple of things I'd like to try so I ordered them
I just like having a play with different make-up at times
so I ordered a face base cream, pink hair dye (temporary)
then theres this eye shadow i've wanted for a few months but havent brought it
cus I have loads and it was £3.95 but when I went to a make-up shop with
mum yesterday their eye shadows were like £8+ so I thought the one I want
is bloody cheap so I ordered it today cus ive wanted it for so long!
its called 'rose quartz' a delicate sparkly pink~
Anyway I wasnt well in the night
I had awful stomach ache and ended up almost running to the toilet twice
wasnt fun I felt awful, cold sweats and the like.
so when I got up at 8am this morning I was knackered and looked it too
mum gave me some jobs to do I did them and went to bed for 10am
I had cold shivers despite it being really warm
I woke up at 12pm and went for a shower
I felt better
Since then I have been drawing my cousin's mug I have got the outline
and the base colour finished
it has taken some time but I want it to be good for her
What do you think?
its nice to have the time to draw cus lately Ive had no time for myself
im always on the go or resting cus im dead
My mental state hasnt been good today its on at me about how fat i am
the size of my body parts god it wont stop
but everything else was quiet
i have struggled to eat today just cus of my stomach and my head doesnt make it any easier
I went yoga with mum today for the first time in weeks
we really enjoyed it
the dance class next door wasnt on so we didnt have their awful music blasting
got home and dad was rude to me the first words he had said to me all day
i was even helping him look for something of his and yet he was rude
god i saw red i literally could have punched a wall with everything i had
i was raging mad but knew i couldnt retaliate i just couldnt i cant go back to being like that
it took EVERYTHING i had to not say anything i had my palms into my eyes
i walked off my nails digging into my palms
wouldnt you know my head is noisy once again
thanks dad that seems to have triggered something
not gonna sleep tonight
just cus he thinks hes so bloody high and mighty
makes me sick
from him being that rude to me for a few sentences i am now left suffering
the thoughts or voices i have right now are violent
but in a sick way its comforting to have them back cus i was a lil empty without them
welcome back who ever you are in my head
your absence has sorta been missed these last 10 days
Tomorrow I am seeing mia
were doing korean face packs, japanese hand cream, nails and then having lunch
oh and ive gotta do her skirt as well
so that will be something to look forward to
