Evening
I woke up after a cruddy night's sleep at 6:50am
I had to call the agency and tell them that I wouldnt be attending school
I was too sick and dead and fell back to sleep for a hour
did my pet duty including holding maisy X3 then went for a shower
which I handled better than last night
i have felt better today I have eaten more, my sweating has decreased
my headache is less painful and so is my throat
so fingers crossed i can got to school tomorrow!
the agency said not to worry as a lot of schools were off due to snow
I went back to sleep and woke up for lunch
after lunch I started doing a bit of present wrapping
then adam came over and kept me company for 3 hours
we sat round and fussed the pets that was it
i wasnt up to doing anything else really
he walked home as i wasnt gonna drive him
since then i havent done much
me and mum decided that im gonna put xmas decorations up on friday
so then i can put the presents under the tree
they get harder to store when youve wrapped them
maybe i might do some drawing later
or yoga as well
i havent been outside the house since saturday afternoon
tomorrow i hope i can go school i really do
these are my nails from last week i picked random colours and designs
then i realized the colours id chosen are like the printer ink colours XD
Evening~
Not a happy bunny
I got 3 hours sleep last night
i was awake for so many hours:
shivering, aching like crazy, sweating, shaking, felt like i was gonna be sick, splitting headache
it was the worst night i've had in a long while.
I did sleep the last few hours and i woke up looking white as the snow outside
so I got up as I thought Oz would like to see snow for the first time
I managed to take some photos of him
he's cute isn't he
and he got soaked by the snow but he was still happy and dashing through the snow
i had no idea how quick he can truly be
I did my pig duties whilst feeling like road kill
i sat with Maisy too shes so sweet
we've all fallen pretty hard for that little piglet.
mum did me some toast which i managed
i went to bed then for about 4 hours....Adam rang me to see if i was ok
I told him whats up
so he told me to rest and not to see him
i was disapointed but i was in no state to be fun
i lounged around the house really and on my bed trying to regulate my temperature
just what has gone wrong!?
all i can think about is work this week, will i be able to go?
i really want to go
i didnt eat a lot of dinner or lunch for that matter
to which dad couldnt help but have a dig about but mum stuck up for me
i had to have a shower which i was dreading as i knew id be warmer than the water
and i hated every minute of it ive never had the shower on that hot before actually
i got all my stuff ready to go school tomorrow
praying i can go
just feel utterly awful
this was me only yesterday
just what has happened!? how long will i be like this!?
Evening~~
I slept pretty well but thats due to how shattered I was
think I only woke up once to turn round ^^
not that I felt much better for waking up at 8am
But I got up we got pinks out for a trot in the hall then the girls
cleaned them out and Oz then we brought Maisy in for the bath
I had prepared myself in an old t-shirt in case she felt the need to jump up and wet me
but to say she'd never had a bath before she was sooooo good!
she could have squeaked or bit but no she just calmly looked round
we were very quiet and gentle with her
we brought her on a towel on mum's lap and mum brushed her and I cut her
we salvaged was fur we could but 2 out of the 3 dreadlocks had to be cut off
the other brushed out
but my god the colour of the water was grim and the amount of fur she lost through
brushing was unreal! But she never complained and just sat nicely
we wondered if it was maybe a relief for her to have her fur and skin sorted
so now she's looking and smelly beautiful I decided to photograph her!
Isn't she a cutie!! She is a lil under weight
and here she is having her first cuddle with me this afternoon!
she was very hard to photograph as she just dived for any dark spots she could see
shes terrified and its hard to watch but she will get there
its a good start that shes so lovely natured. If she was biting and stuff i would worry about pairing her up with my two babies. it's all looking good so far
anyway after she was bathed I left her in the hall with the heating on, plenty of things to hide under and her food and then i went to adams
i told him to be ready to go out as i wasnt taking off my winter gear to have to put it all back on again
we got lunch i had turkey and apple sauce on a cob
we ate at his house and then i spoke to his parents
if im honest i was bored and restless at his house and he felt like he was distant with me despite sitting next to me. he didnt play when i tried to play with him, he was on his phone and all in all i wondered why i had bothered coming up to see him
even more so when we cant see each other all of next week man >.>
so at 2pm I'd had enough and come home
i wasnt going to waste my afternoon
I came back and Maisy was still in the hall way so i picked her up, photographed her and had a good long cuddle with her which I have been wanting to have! After I put her back down in the hall and grabbed my ipod and went for a walk
which was cold but i felt too restless to spend the rest of the day in the house
when i got in i went to bed for an hour
Got up and made my dinner which was spectacularly crap but then i wasnt in the mood for food or to prepare food. i dont feel good one side of my throat hurts and i feel off
i better not be coming down with anything.
not sure what i'll do to pass my evening
tomorrow should be seeing adam but not staying for dinner at its too late and exhausting when i have work the following morning. I have no clue what we're doing during the day tho i know im doing his mum's nails. but its hard to know what to do as it predicts snow.
Evening~~
I didn't sleep too bad
I got up and got all ready to go in the snow
yup snow AGAIN! it wasnt much to be honest
but it still makes people drive extra slow so I allowed for more time
and i forgot to take my medication!
I arrived at the school was a lovely school and the staff were lovely
wasnt many young staff i'll say that much which i prefer
not a fan of young staff sometimes
i like seasoned experienced staff cus I find theyre the best to learn from
I was in the youngest class which had two children in with special needs but no TA to have one to one with so it all hands on deck
never thought id have to tell a child to stop licking the windows but hey-ho
by 11:30am the teacher asked me if i was busy next week as she'd like to book me for the next two weeks! I could not believe it that that soon I had made a good impression
the receptionist said "you must be doing something right"
i must be!
the staff even told me they'd had a lot of staff off this term sick so they'd obviously had other agency staff in so they could have easily have had someone previously but they chose to have me again after just 3 hours! made me happy as i havent been in a school for a few weeks and i was worried id get out of touch with the profession
i only got half hour for lunch as the other half had to go to us doing play ground duty
jesus i was frozen
and my dinner made me feel sick - too much left over pasta
I didnt finish til 4pm -___- the class left at 3:15pm i think
so I tidied up and help put up the christmas tree
and talked about guinea pigs with a fellow guinea pig TA owner ^^
I felt awful i really did feel unwell and had the 40min journey home to face
i came home to an empty house which is rare
i dived in the shower and my feet stung from the hot water it reminded me that i hadnt felt my feet in quite some time it would seem!
i got my pajamas on
walked down stairs and realized i hadnt had this morning's medication
no wonder i felt so terrible! problem solved
When I checked what post had arrived
it was a wedding invitation!! I've never been personally invited to a wedding before
I have attended a wedding when I was 12 as it was my baby sitter's wedding but she had invited the 4 of use really. To have my name on a wedding invitation made me happy
I can't believe Im going to a wedding and after party
it's a friend i've known since I started primary school so 21 years
he's always always been kind to me and we went to secondary school too
but didnt share any classes like we did in primary school as he was smarter than me XD
he's getting married! I am happy for him but I had no idea it was happening
he's kinda one of those friends you dont talk to very often which is another reason for my surprise at the invite! But i'm going it's April 14th
April 2nd is mine and adam's 1st anniversary so be a loved up month
I have nothing to wear but I can suss that
and it says I can bring someone too~ be adam probably but I have to wonder if Mia was invited
she too was close to him in primary school but went to a different secondary school to him.
something to look forward to
I facebooked him a message today to say thank you ^^
tomorrow I am bathing dear Maisy who has been out on the grass today
for what could be the first time ever for her
and im sad I missed it but mum did it whilst I was working ><
she took the half hour well and even tried some grass!
bless her
so tomorrow shes having a bath, a brush and a trim.
Its going to be probably traumatic for her but its one of those necessary evils im afraid
she will benefit from it
mum says hair is coming off her in chunks which shows her skin and coat are unhealthy
so she NEEDS this
best of luck for the 3 of us!
then I will see adam
suppose to snow this weekend
I drew a picture of my 'rape dream' i didnt want to draw it as its awful but i thought the psychologist would like to see what he's in for when i meet him next year ^^
me being pinned down and then just before i am officially raped I always wake up
thank god
Evening~
Actually let me start with the evening
last night I had gone to bed at 9:30pm
at 9:45pm I heard my mum shouting downstairs which doesnt happen
then she pegged it up the stairs I instantly felt sick and adrenaline ran freely
something had happened...
mum came into my room
I said worriedly "whats happened?"
mum "oh Jo we can have it"
me "what?"
mum "we can have the guinea pig!"
jesus mum let me catch my breath and let my heart stop pounding
last time she acted like this, tiffin had died
Basically my mum knows someone - and its 'knows' not 'friends with'
this family of 4 have 2 twin daughters who are 11 years old
have everything they could ever ever desire
so spoiled and have horses and make-up - you name it
their parents brought them 2 guinea pigs
guinea pigs who are/were very neglected
one had died and the daughters didnt know til 2 months later....seriously!?
thats how bothered they are
so this lonely guinea pig was at the end of garden out in the elements, not shelter over its cage, not in a shed or anything and never ever came out
mum was taking salad and 9/10 times it had no food and/or hay
that is cruelty
it was so skittish too
the woman txted mum at 9:45pm last night
"do you want our guinea pig?"
she'd had all week to txt my mum and she did it last night the night before mum was set to go over
so mum txted back saying "yes of course!!!"
she asked for the hutch and for the pig's dry food
she replied "i will leave you a key so you can fetch it from the garage"....
seriously!?
we're doing HER a favour and she cant even be bothered or to even get one of her spoilt cow daughters so get the food from the garage for mum who is collecting their guinea pig!
disgusting!!!!!!
so today after I waited and waited round for the morning to pass
adam came over at 1:40pm and mum came home with dad and the pig at 2pm
so adam was a lil ignored i'll say cus i had to drop everything for the guinea pig
but adam understand
i saw the guinea and my goodness it's pretty such a cute face!! so petite!
I held it and tried to determine it's gender but it is not used to being handled
despite being 3 years old shows how much time was invested in it
it's never been on grass ether
I thought it was a male but when I googled I changed my mind and thought female
we al had a look (poor undignified guinea pig) and we all think female
and besides we cant see the parents buying 2 boy guinea pigs for 2 8 year old girls
mum went and changed its bedding as it was disgusting
honestly none of my pets have ever smelt that bad
never
it just looked like they'd put sawdust on top of sawdust and not properly cleaned out
so we did that i took the bowl out which was foul
it had poo smeared all along the base and the sides and inside was filthy
no animal should be eating out a bowl that dirty
certainly guinea pigs as it can cause illness from the bacteria so i washed that and topped it up
and did them a salad too
found out there was 2 water bottles for a small cage - why - thats easy it means they have to change the water less frequently so they didnt have to bother going to see the guinea as often
sickening
we put the guinea pig back home it was terrified
it is living in its hutch in the shed, facing millie & alice
we talked names and my brother couldnt resist getting her out
we decided she needed a pretty and cute name as she is pretty and cute
we named her Maisy
no pictures as of yet sorry to say
shes in a sorry state, she has loads of dry skin, matts of fur and she STINKS
she hasnt had any treatment
she NEEDS a bath and a brush and a trim
she has a bit of long fur that is beyond saving i have to say i will be trimming that off for her
shes a mess basically and its so sad
and i had no idea the guinea pig was in such a state
i was tempted to photograph and send to the RSPCA
disgusts me to my core that 4 people all well off and have time but left this poor animal to fend for it's self for so long
i mean she was left outside in the elements and 2m away was a wooden shed
why wasnt she put in that out of the cold!?
people make me so sick!!!!!!
so we have gained a guinea pig
my hopes for her are for her to become happy and confident
she is so scared of life and its hard to watch
i want her to befriend my girls it would be lovely if they could share a hutch
but thats the future
for now she just needs TLC
i will bath her over the weekend
i wanted to do her today but she was stressed as it was
i didnt do much all day
saving my energy for school tomorrow
8:30am til 4pm
i will be knackered
but im feeling confident about it all actually
my anxiety is low
my only worry is how i will be feeling as in tiredness and pain
we shall see!
please look forward to meeting maisy!
Konbanwa~
Did not sleep well
I was up at 4am for pain killers and up til 5am
I had woken up at 12am and 3am
does my head in cus i have no idea what wakes me other than the damn
hot and cold sweats i am getting once again!!!!!
So i was tired when I got up at 9am
I changed my bed this morning and hoovered my room
and then I went to the shops with mum
i was in a mood i'll admit as i was hungry, tired and in pain
so yeah i wasnt in the best of moods, poor mum
I didn't get anything but mum got what she needed which was good
we came back I had lunch and then i went on my bed where i nodded off
but a phone call from adam soon woke me >.> he was on his way over from the gym
we sat around having a brew and he saw Oz
then we went for a walk and it was soooo breezy it was cold and id had enough
we came home and i sat with millie and alice on my knee and then i got Oz ready
and we went to adam's house, Oz had an hour up there and got fussed none stop
he laid down mainly just enjoying fuss like a cat >.>
I came home with him and just on my laptop for the first time today
Id like to do some dancing tonight as ive been enjoying it lately
but i have realized i dont have a christmas dance lined up
shall i bother?
i dont think i have one saved to learn from ether and i dont have anyone to ask for suggestions
tomorrow i will maybe clean my room
i will plan my route to the school for friday and get stuff ready for that to help my anxiety
and i think im seeing adam after his shift then i have yoga!
This was made to represent Tiffin on my christmas tree this year
as each pet ive had and lost has a special place on the tree and sadly i lost tiffin this march
i think he looks cute not as cute as the real deal tho, he was prince
Evening~~
I didn't sleep well as I kept waking up every 2 hours
feeling sick and hungry
i was shattered when I got up at 8am -____-
My morning consisted of sitting with Ozwald who was happy bunny
and I watched new music videos and decided on what dances Id want to learn this
week and such. Last night I danced and I had an ache in my side all night from it
like my back wanted to click but couldnt quite do it
so that woke me as well as annoyed my morning >.>
I got ready to go see adam
met him at the pub for his lunch I ate at home
then we went his so he could shower
we sat and waited round for the auctions to open then set off for then
he got his train set XD i was teasing him about it
but nothing annoys him its no fun
we got home i had oreos and tea it was nice to come home to
even tho i made the tea >.>
adam gave me a hug a tight one at that and something popped in my back
and my back seemed to click out of that annoying ache so i was glad
then upon getting comfy my hip socket cracked and i felt better for that too :D
my problems fixed in a minute it was strange
adam didnt get his train set out i think he thought i was gonna break it XD
we walked up to the shops cus i was getting bored of sitting there all afternoon
then i got back and cuddled up in his bed and he decided to join me not that i asked him to
i was just cold
my stupid hot and cold sweats have come back im so annoyed
they were getting a lot better
i came home and went for a shower i felt gross from sweating through out the day
you know youre not right when your showering under hot water but you have goosebumps
and i wasnt cold ether
just cant control my temperature
Since then Ive had dinner and just getting dances ready to have a crack at then i'll do some drawing i think and then see pets, same old evening
speaking of drawings heres one i just decided to draw randomly in half hour it has a love heart in the centre of its eye :3
Tomorrow Im not 100% sure what im doing as of yet
gonna talk to mum see if she requests my company or whether to see adam XD
