Evening~~~
I did not sleep well
back ache makes sleeping uncomfortable big style
I kept waking to turn over and get comfy
mum woke me at 7:30am because as luck would have it
I had a massage booked for 9am with Karen!!!!
thank god man
I got to hers on time and told her how much my back killed
as it now felt like it was across the whole of my back where a bra would sit
and jesus her massaging that area was painful and crunchy
god knows what i have done it could have been anything
i did feel better after my massage and she amazingly remembered i wanted to
have ago with her Angel cards like I do every time I see her in the new year
last year predictions were spot on as were the year before
so this year my 3 cards were
Joy, which was to make sure i keep doing what I enjoy and love which will bring me happiness and i will be happy for others
One about past males, basically all the hurt I hold on to from past and present experiences and relationships with my dad has got to be let go and I need to move on its not my burden to carry its his i can fix myself and i dont need to worry about him. by doing so my relationship with adam should improve and strengthen - this card freaked me out how much it hit home
finally one about letting go, that i have to let my torment and hurt go and move on and to be happy i will achieve what i want to if i continue and be positive
so amazing cards and looks like its gonna be a good year :D
i imagine all the dad stuff and my burdens will be fixed when i start my psychotherapy
I got home and sat with a face pack on whilst I had my morning brew
I went for a shower
sat for a bit and went to bed
I put my girlies out for a trot outside they appreciated
and I went for a 20 minute walk
I got home and rang up the psychology department as im fed up of waiting quite frankly
and they said the guy who is gonna treat will ring back and he did
he gave me an appt of 23rd January
finally and appointment!!!
I emailed the agencies to let them know when i can work
I was in a bit of a bad mood this afternoon from 4pm
i had back pain flaring up, stomach pain for some reason and i didnt know what I felt like doing and all in all i became a little bit grouchy shall we say
yeah i bit mums and adam's head off -_____- I have since apologised
jeez im like the devil sometimes
I made my own dinner tonight i made pasta
and had some Oz cake afterwards
Oz enjoyed having his girls outside today
not sure what to do tonight i will do some colouring i know that much
but not sure whether to try a bit of dancing or do some drawing or watch DVD
unsure really I want to dance but unsure if thats gonna help my back or worsen it /:
i dont know much about back pain.
tomorrow might see adam
didnt see him today and probably good job given my mood and pain
Oh I got these in the post
Eye cream to try get rid of dark circles
and my new Etude House Eye shadows!!! I loved the 'wine party' one I had and seeing 'juice bar's colour I just really wanted a go, I'd love to have the 'sakura' one too but i know thats being greedy so i wont buy it....yet XD I have been dying to have ago with it since i got it last week but i keep sweating so much so theres no point in doing nice make-up for it just to become a mess and feel horrible and sweaty on my skin
Today I got up at 10:30am
can you believe that!? 10:30am!!!
Thats my morning gone!
I made a fuss of Ozwald and gave him his birthday present of banana flavoured popcorn
he loved it
Then I spent most of my morning making him a cake
Would you believe he actually loved the cake he wouldnt stop eating it! including the chocolate icing!!! he has such a sweet tooth but its his birthday
During the icing of the cake my back went
this isnt a normal thing for me, bones coming out of joint is a normal occurrence for me but for it to do it in my back is a new one
i cant tell you the pain i was in
in the end mum cracked my back by applying pressure to my back whilst i laid down
it cracked 3 times with one go
i felt better but it felt like it had shifted to the muscle next to it
she left with dad and i was home alone
and it went again
so i grabbed Oz and went to adams where he cracked my back a different way
it was a relief as i killed to drive there but once again the pain felt like it had shifted
I let Oz play round and he got loads of fuss
and my back went again i came home and mum had another go but it was adam who cracked it
I took 3 different pain killers, stretched and i did feel a lil better
we went to his house and walked up to the bar where his parents waited for us
i had a hot choc then we walked back to his i painted his mum's nails
i did a dog design for year of the dog
she loved them
i sat with adam
we had dinner
i sat and talked with them all then came home to share my cake with Oz
He's such a lovely little boy he truly is
and im so happy he's so socialable and happy
he loves his girls and everyone
i have fallen in love with him and i do hope and pray that
this is just one of many birthdays for him
as i currently write this he is laying down, feet out to the side beside my knees
as im on my knees typing this XD
Evening~~
I went to bed at 10:30pm which is late for me
but I was enjoying painting my nails in front of the TV
I couldnt sleep so by 12am I got up and had cereal, hot choc, painkillers
my brother talked to me for a lil bit
then I went to bed at 12:30am
I fell asleep only to have a nightmare so I was sweaty and panting
then fell asleep to wake up at 6am -______-
cant i just friggin sleep!?
mum woke me at 8:30am like I had asked her to
I got up and got ready for hair cut and city centre
I was a bit early for my hair cut but wasnt kept waiting ^^
she shaved me nicely my fringe is really quite short tho >< but it will grow
I just feel a lil naked having it so short
nothing to hide behind
I finished up happy with my hair cut and then waited in my car for adam to turn up
we headed to the city centre
We went round a few shops then went for lunch in a pub
I had jacker potato and baked beans which adam had treated me too
he had also brought my new pokemon joggers and a new plushie of Espeon!!
I said I was undeserving of these things but he insisted I was deserving and he wanted to gift me and treat me but I dont cope well with being gifted with things i prefer to earn what I receive
but cant complain as he wants to do this for me
but what can I do in return?
So from shopping I picked up two graphic t-shirts for £15 instead of £40
Socks for mums birthday
a scarf for mum's birthday reduced to £2
a hat with cat ears for me reduced to £2 and each choker was £2 as well
a yoga exercise wheel I have never ever seen before i picked it up for mum's birthday that was £20 I hope its worth the money cus that aint cheap
that was it really
We came home to mine around 2:20pm
I put the girls out and brought Oz in for fuss
I put my stuff away and sat with adam and had a brew
we played pokemon then til 5:15pm then at 5:30pm after Id cuddled and annoyed him
i took him home~
Since then I havent done much really
I had a shower this morning and I dont want to shower again tonight so i dont wash all my hair dye out but also because i know i will sweat in the night so i will only want a shower in the morning any way its getting annoying past few days i cant control my temperature
i laid on my bedroom floor today roasting honestly my cheeks were glowing i could feel them
i said "im hot"
adam said "hot and sexy"
I pulled a face "im hot"
he said "take your clothes off then"
do guys ever get their heads out the gutter XD I just laughed
Tomorrow is my little Ozwald's Birthday
so im gonna give him some of the banana popcorn ive brought him
im gonna bake a cake in the shape of a rabbit then he can sample it himself as well
take a photo of him maybe
then after lunch he's going to play up at adam's house
so it will be a nice day for Oz
cant believe he's gonna be one already!
Evening~~
My night wasn't too bad
I did get some sleep
My morning I could not control my temperature and I knew
I had been sweating in my sleep
but I was getting really frustrated that I kept sweating
until in the end I gave in and showered
I knew I was going acupuncture and would be self conscious in case
I smelt or something
It was bloody raining AGAIN!!
I am so sick of this weather
its ether windy rainy or both
dad said I should be happy that it isnt freezing like how its suppose
to be this time of year
so after having rain none stop today we have a freezing night!
so we've had it all now!
I went to Nigel's for acupuncture
all I can say is poor guy
I went over so grouchy I knew I wouldnt be able to hold back my tongue
but upon entering he had got his daughter's dog
that was tiny seriously it was small like Oz size and that instantly changed my mood
and I was more easy going
but going for the needles I curled into a ball when I got on the table
he told me where he was gonna put needles
and they were going in the places I HATE as they proper hurt
but he says they are for pain
pain for pain huh
it was 4 needles basically
I said "is there an alternative?"
he said "its 4 seconds of pain"
i said "so no alternative then?"
he said "well I havent thought of one but usually I can use up to 30 needles for pain"
I said "so why am I moaning about 4 then!? lets do this"
and I did do it and I said
"so I get away with not having any in the stomach?"
"do you want any in your stomach?"
"I reckon I can handle one"
"just one then?"
he put it in and then went to get another
I said "hey youre getting carried away now!"
but I was fine I just hate it going and I know he finds me amusing
heck most people find me amusing for one reason or another
I got home and had a brew
then went out to pets and home with mum for guinea stuff
then we came home and mum dyed my hair for me
I am a dark ginger thats the best way to describe it
i like it tho and so does mum
then I had Oz in my room who was very giddy like he was last night
Tomorrow I have got my first hair cut of 2018
I am looking forward to it thats at 10:30am
originally I had said to adam to meet me there for when I finish and
I will take us city centre and I can pick up a birthday present for mum
that was until it got freezing tonight and I hadnt seen the weather for the morning
its set to be a cold day
so I am now unsure what to do :/
on one hand I feel its something to do to go into the city
but then I think i am not desperate to go and why should I go to just freeze my butt off
then again what else would I do tomorrow?
so im not sure what to do really as if we dont go I dont know what we'd do instead
he hasnt got work this saturday so we potentially have the whole day together
the weather has nothing but peed me off lately
i will talk to adam about it
I thought Id take a few photos of the changes I have made to my room
it looks very much like an otaku room wouldnt you say XD
Evening~
Once again I was up in the night
I got up at 4:30am
I wasnt in too much pain but I knew if I stayed there any longer
then the pain would worsen so I got up
I had cereal but not hot choc or yoga I was only up for half hour
I got up this morning to find it raining
im so sick of the rain and wind its like living in a storm
I spent my morning looking at dance/exercise DVDs
I want something I can work out to
so I was looking stuff up and found a website that actually shows 25min work
out videos so I saved it so I can have ago some time :D
I love dance routines I miss Zumba to be honest but the teacher's taste in music
went from bad to worse until I couldnt stand listening to that never mind dancing to it
and at least this way its free and in my own home ^^
I will try them when I have a quiet house
no way can I do them in my room it will sound like im coming through the floor boards!
I heard from adam his work had asked him to stay longer
so he decided not to see me which was fair enough
i said id see him saturday and seeing as hes got this saturday off that we would try
go out and do something different but we will see
see what im in the mood for
I fell asleep this afternoon for 2 hours
I was just such a zombie I couldnt think and no way in hell was I going for a walk
not in the wind and rain its been awful
I went to my first yoga class of 2018 which was good but a killer
she focused on legs and I dont think I will be able to walk tomorrow lets put it that way
jesus
Tomorrow I have got acupuncture -___- I really dont want to go!
I hate going at times but I know I need the help
might go Pets at Home with mum for a stock up for the girls
apart from that I havent got anything planned
maybe do some drawing
I got this stuff in the post this week its a job lot I ordered from Korea
and I got a load of free samples with my order also
so we have first TonyMoly pink hair dye (temporary) I wanted to have a go with it
but not sure when I will have ago with it as mum is on about dying my hair tomorrow making it too dark for the pink to show up no doubt
I ordered SkinFood black sugar face scrub as I love a good facial scrub time to time
a lip mask, this must be the 10th item I have tried on my poor dry lips, nothing seems to heal them!! Im sick of having flaky dry sore creased lips. But this seems to be helping its like silk on your lips at night I am enjoying using it unlike some of the other lip products I have tried
finally TheSaem shaker tint lip I opened this to find it smelled really quite strange for a lip tinting product I cant say I liked the smell, I went to apply it to my lip to make them a coral colour. Well it went on poorly, went in every crease of my lips highlighting the fact of how damaged they are, and I didnt like the feel of it on my lips it reminded me of a cheap lip gloss (HATE lip gloss)
so I let mum try it she said it made her lips look like an old womans so we through it away!
no good to anyone
I have ordered more bits from korea to try
its all trial and error finding the cosmetics that work best for you
I have discovered some gems and other stuff that is terrible
I do enjoy experimenting with it all tho.
Evening~
I slept like crap
I got up in the night for hot choc and cereal and of course a dosage
of painkillers as I couldnt take the pain much more
it was incredibly windy last night which is another reason I didnt sleep
as it makes so many noises I wake up to
this morning I didn't do an awful lot
I got my 2 bras in the post I had ordered from debenams sale
I had a shower and that was it
I waited for mum to come home and then we went into the city centre
I thought we'd be an hour or two but it reached the 4 hour mark by the time
we got home, I was in such pain but it was good to do something
we got loads of bargins!
it was worth going in
I kept my eyes out for dresses and I found one just randomly by it's self
the photos dont do it justice
it has like sea life printed on
its by Voodoo Vixen and theyre stuff is usually pretty cool
and it was suppose to be £49.99
I got it for £5...£5!!!! can you believe that!?
just by its self for £5 there was no other dress for £5 so I picked it up without trying it on
I also got another bra in the sale, 2 chokers, a jumper for £5, 3 different t-shirts £6 each and a pair of pants so yeah worth going in
when I got home I tried the dress on and it looks amazing so I have decided to save it for my friend's wedding in April
I nodded off when I got home I couldnt take the pain any longer
I shouldnt have fallen asleep as it will effect sleep tonight but with the way sleep
has been lately theres just no pattern to anything so screw it why suffer
mum has done so much for me today i mean she does anyway but today
i feel like an extra burden as shes done her jobs and my jobs
tomorrow not sure what im doing i just know im going back to yoga!
Evening~~
I slept a lil better last night
when I woke up the postman arrived with 3 packages all for me
1 was a bracelet I got for my cousin for christmas (obviously too late now)
2 was a box of cosmetics Id ordered from Korea to try
3 was a mystery
I hadn't ordered anything that big
and when I started to open it I could tell it was anime related
which confirmed my theory of "I havent ordered anything else"
When I finished unwrapping it revealed a One Piece anime figure
I don't watch One Piece but I have a friend that does
and a friend that buys me anime figures time to time
So I put her together
It revealed this girl who I call 'busty babe' cus jeez look at the rack on her!!!
could he have brought anyone else with a bigger chest!?
I believe its a gift from Ed so I have just emailed to thank him
although a part of me wonders if it was his idea of a joke
as before christmas I had told him I was getting new shelves for my room
and Im gonna fill them with manga and anime figures
he teased me by saying "im gonna buy you a hentai or naked or a girl in underwear figure"
he knows I dont like that kinda thing
and here I am with busty babe so yeah
totally unexpected this morning
Adam had gone gym
managed to bench lift 85kg I only way 55kg
it scares me that he could probably snap me like a twig at times
I picked him up and we went for lunch
I had thai fish cakes nice but very filling I let adam eat my chips
We went round a few shops as I needed a few basics like facial wash, shampoo, reduced christmas wrapping paper, tissue box for my car, air freshner for my car (both for new car)
Then we came back to my house and we played pokemon played with Oz and the girls as it nothing but rained so they couldnt play outside. again --_____--
we looked at places Id like to go for my birthday
still very unsure on what to do there
I kept falling asleep tho today
I have dropped a pain killer (tramadol) and my god dont i know about it
but I cant believe how sleepy I was I fell asleep a few times on adam then once again whilst my brother ate his dinner next to me I ate mine later on after Id woken up
I had a second shower and thats woke me up a bit
My evening went to me writing down foods/meals/directions/greetings for my brother in Japanese as he goes Tokyo on 11th and I can tell he's nervous about it
he knows no japanese where as I could get by so Ive put him together a few notes even if he doesnt use em theyre there for reassurance I guess
I ordered a tissue box holder for my new car
some more cosmetics from Korea to try
that was it really today
not sure what tomorrow will bring
