at 3:30am it takes the pee

Evening~~

ahhhh tired

i went to bed at 9:15pm I was shattered!
I woke up at 3:30am with awful stomach ache
i had to dispel what felt like my entire stomach contents down the toilet
i felt so bad i thought i was gonna be sick as well but i wasnt 
just awful, and why at that time of day!?
i laid in bed til 6:30am unable to sleep due to it feeling like i had been
kicked repeatedly in the stomach
couldnt get comfy at all
i fell asleep around 6:30am then woke up at 7:15
what the point of those 45 mins were i dont know
i got to start my day
i was so damn tired but thought id start it just in case the phone rang
it didnt
by 9am i was back in bed and had just under an hour's kip
as i couldnt face the day feeling THAT rough

i got showered and dressed and went out with my brother
we dropped something off at the dry cleaners for mum
then we went food shopping 
that wasnt too bad actually 
and from leaving the house to leaving the super market we were exactly 30 mins
so we did do well
i came back and  unpacked

i went on my laptop and made a few work related phone calls
then i couldnt be bothered but i did a little bit of dancing
i ate some fruit and went for a 45min walk
i came back and went on my laptop

adam came over around 2:45pm
we sat and drank tea, saw Oz and caught up really
apparently his mum has spoken to his dad and his dad is a lil bit better with me now
honestly
not in a rush to go over and see him tho
i got changed and did some yoga stretches
then drove onto the running club, dropping adam off on the way

i could not be arsed
my joints hurt
i hurt
i was tired and i hadnt eaten much as my stomach has been off all sodding day
but i went
god knows why i went
i got into the 3mile group
and i was at the frontish of the group as some people are just too slow
we got to a certain point then this guy leading us just ran off saying  
"im running off home now, turn round when you want"
thanks
so this one and only other woman i had been following said 
"we will keep going til it says 1.5miles on my phone then back track"
she was so quick tho so i was running in the dark streets by myself effectively
i got back and she said "that was 28 mins"
i had ran too quick trying to keep up with her
my joints hurt
thank god im going chiropractor tomorrow
i dont think i should go running club on wednesday
i think i need to rest up a bit

i came home and microwaved my leftover dinner
sat at it and had a long hot shower
then rang my brother to say i was ok and stuff

ive wanted to do some drawing today but ran out of time
so id like to do that tomorrow if i can
the only thing i have on tomorrow is chiropractor at 4:30pm
i hope i have school but i doubt it

mia says shes brought trainers and that shes a bit sore from running
bless her
wonder if she will continue it 

Mia actually went running!

Evening~

I fell asleep so fast last night
shattered
I watched the 4th episode of Killing Eve it was good actually
and nice I could watch it in the peace and quiet

I woke up at 7:15 cus i knew mia was on about going for a run
between 7 and 8am 
so i havent had a single lay in til 8am all week
ive ether been awake at 7 or earlier T^T
i texted her but didnt hear from her til 8:20am
i was waiting round wanting to know what i was doing
as i wanted breakfast as i had taken my medication 
she said she'd be there just before 9am
then she txt me "rob is coming also"
ok...
shes been wanting someone to go running with for ages
but people bailed on her
the day she has someone to go with and her boyfriend decides he will go?
strange
but yeah he turned up and i dont have an issue with it its more i just couldnt understand it
but anyway he didnt run with us he went tanking off
he used to run but like mia he hasnt done any fitness in a long time

so i let mia set the pace
but i think pacing is something shes got to work at
as literally it was all or nothing
she ran not jogged she ran then walked 
but didnt get an awful lot of running done but thats fine
she said shes unfit
she was out of breath whereas i wasnt really
we did a loop round me so its very hilly anyway

we ran to the shop as she wanted milk and cereal XD
and because her sister lives facing said shop
we called in as its her sister's boyfriend who kept bailing out on running with her
she wanted to prove she was able to do it i guess
saw her little nephew with his cousin, never met his cousin before
two little 5 year olds at 9:30am who acted like theyd had a sugar rush
mental

speaking of children a friend of a family had an emergency C section last
night and her little boy, born the day before his uncle''s birthday would you believe

anyway so we walked home
my joints hurt as id thrashed them at park run and doing the jog this morning
my body was sending up flags 
i needed to back off

i went and said bye to mia and rob
then had a shower and cereal and a brew

i started the pokemon tissue box cover i designed
did that for a bit

went and recorded a dance outside
wasnt the best but felt good for actually doing it
wish my joints and muscles werent hurting as much as they were at the time
i maybe could have done better then
i want to do my AKB48 Halloween Night before i go away
i came home and uploaded it really

continued sewing til i finished it at 5pm
then went for a 40min walk
muscles hurt but i hate sitting for ages 

didnt get any cross stitching done so i might do that tomorrow
i didnt see adam as apparently he was tired
but i wasnt fussed ether way
mum has sent me videos and photos from Spain which has been nice to see
my brother was home a bit today so ive had his presence 

tomorrow i will be awake at 7am no doubt
just in case the phone does actually ring! O:
if i dont have school i might go food shopping as we're a lil low on stuff
i have running club but im not sure i will go as joints are hurting now
i feel i may need to take a day off from running
got the chiropractor on tuesday anyway

i will photograph my pokemon tissue box
might do nails tonight

New PB in the rain

Evening

I woke up at 6:30 despite setting an alarm for 7am T^T
I could hear it lashing down outside and I went to take a look outside
saw the rain and the puddles and thought "ill leave park run then"
went to bed but couldnt sleep once im up im kinda thing
at 7am I couldnt hear the rain anymore and when i looked out
it was only drizzling
so i got myself motivated to go park run
had my girls out and stuff
and by 8am it was proper raining again >.>
i thought "no come lets go mums friends said theyd see me down there"
so i drove in the rain realising there was a lot of puddles around

i pulled up at the park and i slowed my car right down
looking at the sheer amount of water everywhere
i was thinking "my feet are gonna get soaked and my trainers are quite new"
i continued on tho
pulled into the car park and there wasnt many cars there at all
i waited in my car not wanting to stay in the rain any longer than i had to
its cold these Autumn mornings too! >< 

i walked up to the start line and mums crew eventually turned up
but not all of them did, the ones who said to me "see you down there saturday"
werent there!!
how annoying is that, theres me not wanting to let the side down and they dont turn up! XD
i was getting cold and wet
and mums friends told me not to wait for them to just go home and get warm
i was happy about that

i stood there watching two kids falling out
one flicked water from his shoe to his brother
and its on that clay path so the puddles are like white clay water
the brother went to do it back but was too slow
and hit me
i got all white spots up my trousers
i said "thanks" sarcastically to this 7 year old
one of mums friends turned to me and said "whats he done?"
i said "hes just splashed all up me"
the boy's dad turned at this and said "he what!?" 
and i could hear him rolicking his child and kid crying
justice was served 
i usually get paid to deal with that crap
dealing with that crap on a weekend is just not done!

so i pegged it basically
couldnt get it done fast enough
of course you have idiots running through the puddles
i was like a ninja dodging all them hundreds of puddles
i ran and ran, pushing on
crossed the line and went straight to my car
my car instantly steamed up all the windows due from me being warm and damp
i ran the heaters and then drove out the car park, passing a few of mums friends who had yet to finish. i got home for 9:55am, usually we havent even left the park by 10 as we wait for mum's crew
i was glad to get home, whacked the heating on and had  a long hot shower followed by a brew
glad i did it i guess
put washing on and cleaned my trainers that luckily werent too bad
i told mum i went she said i did well going through all that
turns out it wasnt a wasted effort ether as i got a PB
shows the rain is a good motivator XD
i did it in 27:09! look how close that is to 26mins!
i am impressed
i was knackered tho

i had a sit down for a short while then decided to clean pigs out
the rain clearly wasnt gonna stop so i did them in the rain
i watched some anime
Natsume Yuujin chou Roku OVA and then Garo
i watched two episodes of Garo and im not sure about it if im honest
but unsure what else to watch
i sat and did cross stitch whilst watching anime
made myself salad for lunch

i walked to the shop to get a few bits for dinner tonight
and to get out really
i looked if there was any christmas presents i could be making
and there is one i want to attempt 
pokemon tissue box

i signed up to sell my art online
well its worth a shot huh
on https://www.redbubble.com
think this my page but not 100% certain XD https://www.redbubble.com/people/lunatiquedesign?asc=u
i plan to put more up soon
it was just a lot to take in at first 

i made myself 
potatos, carrots, peas and turkey steak for dinner
did 2 portions so i can have the next lot tomorrow or something

my mum is alright
she sent me photos
looks pretty
she said dad is hard work
its almost like the holiday is a chore for him not an actual holiday
i had a look at places to go to in Tenerife but its not looking like loads
so i think i might say to adam we will wing it day to day
i cant seem to plan as its not clear whats around or how to get to these places
i didnt hear from him the whole day yesterday which surprised me
i havent heard from him today ether
but its good if hes able to break away a bit
think im suppose to be seeing him tomorrow but who knows

its the 3rd or 4th episode of Killing Eve tonight
cant remember think it is the 4th 
i will be watching by myself~

tomorrow 
well tomorrow morning mia was on about coming out to try running
keeping in mind she hasnt ran in years so she thinks she will be unfit
and asked me to go with her
whether she will go or not is another matter
we can only see
then if adam does want to meet up ive told him hes welcome to come here
apart from that nothing planned

i havent done any art
just wasnt feeling creative
might cut some fabric out tonight tho

Movie Night + first day back at work

Evening~~

Yesterday evening I was over at Adam''s house
we went to have a brew and the mug his mum brought me
the one with a rabbit on it, was missing
adam said "that will be my dad"
wow how immature is his dad, like seriously?
i wasnt going out with him but he acts like i broke up with him not adam
jesus
we had a brew then started watching The Avengers 
how friggin long is that film!?
and i hated it
reminded me strongly why i dont watch films
yeah wasnt my scene
we ordered pizza and he offered to have them delivered or go walk for them
i said "i definitely need to walk for them"
god it was hard sitting there
not only aching
but with adam
he cuddled me, he kissed my head and just general closeness 
hes not making this easy on himself
i will be harder on him next time i see him as sometimes i feel he treats me
like were still together 
and we''re not

i left his house at 9pm
had a lil catch up with Oz and mum
mum seemed alright
dad was stotic as ever

i went to bed but it was gone midnight by time i drifted off
i woke at 4:30am to the sound of my parent's blaring alarm
my god was it loud!
i didnt get up i just laid there and at 5am i went to see mum
dad saw me "oh Jo''s up its like a family outing"
thats all he said to me
i saw mum then she came to me in bed before left to say bye
i heard my brother load up his car and leave with them
at 6am my brother arrived home and i could hear a paper bag rustling
i thought "bet he''s be been for a mcdonalds"
he had XD
he went to bed
i laid there still hadnt been asleep
7am came round and i thought "screw it i aint getting up theres never work anyway"
there was work
thats sods law that is
at 7:20am my phone rang for a school ive been to before
local and just til lunch time
so i had a mad rush getting out the house

i left my brother a note saying id left Oz out and that could he have the girls out
he did luckily

school went fine theyre all nice there
i was in year 5 for the first time
working with 3 special needs kids
great
not what i wanted but i was grateful for work i guess
i got it done 

came home at lunch time
my brother had gone out with his bmx crew 
i made myself lunch and then i sorted a couple of bits out
then i went for a walk 

went to Mia's at 2:30pm
we chatted for a bit really and then at 5:30pm i left
id left Oz outside i needed to check him
mia says she''d like to go running on sunday
we shall see!
i took my art book thats full of the drawings ive been doing for a year now the ones of my dreams/thoughts/images and i only spend up to half hour on
ive never shown anyone them but chose to show her
not even family has seen them
she was amazed at my art work and what id drawn
she asked questions as i told her she could
she couldnt believe i had drawn those things in such little time
i honestly thought they were rubbish! so it was good to know i could draw
but its not the art its the meaning and she said she could understand all what id drawn
strange as i felt they only meant something to me, to me and my other half
she showed me her art shes been working on, shes doing an amazing job

came home and made myself dinner
my parents have got there safely and were by the pool 
I''ve had my first day well morning back at work
ive been offered and interview for a teaching assistant job on wednesday
might as well give it a go 

gonna do some dancing tonight
my brother came in and went straight back out
eating curry with his mate

if i have time i will do japanese 
didnt do any yesterday 

tomorrow morning i have park run
all of  mums crew just said to me "see you saturday"
dont feel i had a choice in it XD
so i will motivate myself for that im sure
and clean pets out and do any other business i need to do
hopefully art work

the make up i picked up with mum last week
im yet to have a go but smells of cocoa powder!
amazing stuff, kept meaning to upload a picture

Baby Blanket and last nights running club

Alright~~

I went running club last night
some people said to me "you tanked off on monday"
I told them I didnt do so well and screwed up
they said id soon get there with it all
I met another person who knows my mum she couldnt believe
how much we were the split of one another
i ran with the person who in charge
i think she was trying to find out more about me kinda thing
she said how well she thought i ran on monday
and that why dont i do the 4mile run 
i said "3 is enough im not sure i could do 4"
she said "you''d be be fine. in fact why dont you join us on a saturday?"
i said "what for park run?"
she said "no we tend to have a group and do 5 or 6 mile, slowly"
i said "5 or 6!?"
she said "try 4 first see how you feel"
who does she think i am super woman? jesus
but to be honest i have no idea how far i can actually run
when ive done the 3mile park run ive had enough to extent but its more ive had enough of running its boring me not because im shattered 
so who knows

then i came home and sat and had dinner with my mum and brother
at the kitchen table is was nice as me and my brother never sit at the kitchen table
dad had eaten and was sitting sleeping in the living room
so it was nice
and then i watched task master

this morning i got up at motivated at 7am as usual
no calls, as usual
mum went to work and i did a bit of dancing
then i went on my laptop and saw some amazing photos of australia sent to me from a friend ^^ 

i then worked on the blanket til lunch time
had lunch with brother and my mum 
and then i rested my eyes for half hour
honestly im so tired and achy past few weeks 
its horrendous and its making me very snippy as i have no filter on my mouth when things are like this im just too tired to filter my mouth and deal with the pain and fatigue 
i snapped and mum she snapped back but we've since made up 
shes a bit on edge cus shes been packing for her 1 week spain holiday tomorrow with dad
shes not sure how she will cope with a week with just my dad
i feel sorry for her
she envies me and my brother having a week of peace
anyway i finished the blanket

not bad really
it will do
very neat tho

me and mum went for a 40 min walk as it was sunny
came back and i will shower and go to adams
we''re watching 2 films and eating pizza 
hopefully should be ok
got the house to ourselves so i wont receive any trouble from his dad who now hates me
im hoping it wont be a late one

tomorrow my parents leave the house at 5:30am
my brother will take them to the air port 
i will be awake no doubt and i want to see them off too
and i will entertain myself somehow
maybe see mia

Baby Card and Blanket

Evening~~

Last night I spoke to mia for a bit
and then i finished the baby card I was working on
friend of the family is over due now so i thought id make a start

i sat and did japanese whilst my parents watched tv
i was quite impressed i could think whilst the tv was on


I woke up at 7am and got up but in all honesty
i went back to bed and stayed there til 7:45
i was awake but felt rough
but i was able to try and get my body moving to the day



I did 20 mins of yoga
then went on my laptop a lil bit
then did some dancing
im getting there stuff i know i am
and i hope to record 2 dances next week 

i popped out to the shops with mum
we brought a baby blanket as i said id make one as a gift
as we have no idea what to give to them
we dont really see them anyway
so ive got a beige blanket for the back and ive got to make a patchwork piece for the front

we got home and whilst i looked through my fabrics
mum made cakes and then i decorated them

i painted mums nails for her for when she goes away
did a cherry blossom design on them

I sat and ironed fabrics then cut out
35 x 5x5" squares

ive got running club tonight
mum doesnt usually go twice a week but because were not doing
yoga tomorrow mum said we'd go twice 
i hurt already and im tired 
i want to go its not that i cant be bothered its more my body hurts now
god knows what it will be like afterwards
but im gonna try go and stay at the back of the 3 mile runners 

i got my email to confirm i got the Elf job
im just waiting for a starter pack or something

tomorrow im not 100% sure what im doing
i cant see any work coming in as it still hasnt 
probably work on the blanket
mum is packing for her holiday so shes probably gonna be in a flap all day
shes anxious
i know around 4pm im seeing adam
we're watching two films and eating pizza
should be fun~

I'm an Elf

Konbanwa

I eventually slept around midnight
i just ached like crazy

I woke up and got up at 7am
just in case the phone rang
it didnt
but still im up
and didnt know what to do today

I did 15 mins of dancing but i was so tired and knackered
i just couldnt keep up with the music basically
so i showered
came downstairs and thought I'd give Centre Parcs one last ring
first time I rang i was put through to the cafe....
so i started again and got through to someone
i told her ive been ringing to find out about friday's interview
and she said "the manager has had to take emergency leave, but i can see youve been ringing and ringing let me see if i can find your notes....oh youve been successful!
i was like "really!? cus no one had contacted i assumed that i hadnt got it"
she said "no no you got it, sorry no one contacted you, you should get an email tomorrow when the manager is back"
so yeah i get to be an elf
i was much pleased
as i was very low this morning with not working or doing anything with my life
mum gets all my rants

i went for a walk for 45 mins
couldnt be arsed but it killed some time and i thought it might help my aches
it didnt
but i can try

the afternoon mum came in and we popped to the shops then we
went for a 20 mins walk
then i started making a baby card as a friend of the family is due any day now
so ive finished that

my brother's phone went off whilst he was in the toilet
i answered it seeing it was one of his best mates one of the BMX crew
i answered in my deepest "alright"
he replied "im outside bro" 
said "alright" then burst out laughing
he was like "oh god" i found it funny
handed my brother his phone XD
any time i can get up to no good i do

mia gave me a ring to talk about stuff
good to speak to her maybe see her friday

adam  is still fine with me
but says his dad practically hates me which i find quite weird considering our
relationship has nothing to do with him and me and adam broke up best way
possible and were fine with one another
dont know what his problem is
so i dont wanna see him for a bit
still going over when his parents are away on thursday for movie and pizza

i told my dad that i got the elf job
he said "so whens that start?"
i said "start of november"
he said "so what you gonna do between now and then"
jesus never good enough  is it
i said "Im handing out my cv and application forms every day, im on morning calls just to try and get more work, im on holiday one week out of those 3"
he said "alright i didnt know youve been doing all that"
no you just like to criticise
and after laying into me
he laid into my brother
jesus
how one man can upset a house hold
my brother could barely finish his lunch he got that choked up
awful man

not sure what im doing tomorrow as of yet ><

necklace i brought for 99p the other week cute huh 

still cant believe i got the elf job
im so relieved, happy and grateful