Merry Christmas~~!
I remembered at 7:30pm yesterday that I hadnt been chemist to pick
up my medication -____- so I had to go out in the cold and do that
thank god they were still open
I went to bed at 9pm shattered and woke up at 11pm, why?
then from there just a rough night of tossing and turning
I was desperate to get out of my bed but the house was soooooo cold
that i knew it would probably only make my aches worse
so i stood it out in bed
woke up at 7am to the sound of my brother going out the house
he was off to take photos of derby city centre what with it being deserted
then i woke up at 8::45am and decided I best get up
it truly felt like christmas in our house -_____-
everyone eats the same breakfast, every one has the same morning routine
yeah just another day of the week in our house
i felt rough as anything
i got my A3 sketchbook out and began to do some drawing but didnt get far
as everyone decided they wanted to open presents at 12
so that took us an hour which was nice
and heres what I got this year I only take photos for my diary's sake
Traditionally me and my brother open each others first each year
he brought me an alice in wonderland tea cup from Whittards which is too good to use and so is on my windowsill
cute huh it even has a clock inside!
Tara gave me a scarf, soap, pokemon figures, face pack and a peter rabbit cross stitch
Mia gave me hot chocolate from Whittards which is always a winner but was packaged beautifully in a Whittards box which I have never seen done before, she also brought me sleep soapy stuff which I thought was thoughtful as she knows I dont sleep well it was also wrapped up in like a bunny scarf
Karen gave me a rabbit ornament, nail varnish and bunny candles not that i will want to use the bunny candles!
from mum well my parents i got a new dressing gown, a car smelly, lights to attach to my shoes when im running, next Natsume's book of friends manga, last in the series of Murakami book im currently reading, fluffy bunny socks. I was happy with the lights as i hadnt asked for them and wondered where you got them from as ive never seen them before, the Murakami book i kept saying to mum i need the 3rd one but kept forgetting to buy it, i only have 100 pages left of the 2nd book
so yeah a good christmas
and everyone seemed to like what i gave them
my brother LOVED the signed Rick and Morty comic I gave to him
he wants it up on his wall which surprised me and he said i did a good job of framing it too
he was well impressed ^^
after presents we had lunch i made salad for a change
then my parents went for a walk so i did some dancing which was hard work but good for 25mins then i did 20 mins of yoga but ive pulled a muscles cus i moved funny
i sat for a bit as my parents came home then i forced myself for a 45min walk
afterwards i sat and had a brew with Ozwald
then it was pretty much dinner time
we had a massive dinner
and i ate it all
i cant remember the last time i ate so much i was almost sick
but it was so good, mum had taken so much love into making it, and it was christmas dinner so i didnt want to waste it
i laid in pain on the sofa for a while afterwards
then sat with my brother and mum in the hall with the pigs
then it was sponge and custard which was effing brilliant
then i took my brother to a house party at 7:45pm
i said id pick him up as i dont sleep anyway so im expecting a wake up txt possibly phone call from him in the night but alwell
so yeah not very christmassy but never is in our house
its very similar to a sunday here
but still its how my family functions and it is just us so you make the best of it and im grateful for what we have
tomorrow is mia's birthday so i plan to see her in the morning!
dont know what i'll do rest of the day probably exercise and continue with the drawing im doing
merry christmas all~
its all done with for another year
yeahhhhh!
It's almost christmas!
Meaning all of this hype is almost over
its been building up since September and its almost finally over
then it will be "sale this" "sale that" and "join the gym"
same crap every year
although I saw an advert that confused me on TV last night
"January sales starts Boxing day"....well thats boxing day sales then surely
cus January doesnt start 26th december
load of crap
I slept really poorly
honestly I dont think I got much sleep at all and didnt wake til 8am
I felt rough when I woke up and couldnt face taking anymore medication
mum says shes noticed I zone out a lot she says i look like a zombie
and she says my eyes look strange as well like im on something
yeah gotta be medication but I didnt realise I zone out
It was frosty this morning and I went outside to take photos of Ozwald
i got a lil cold in my dressing gown but i enjoyed it
i will share them sometime
I did some jpop dancing this morning whilst mum made the cake for tomorrow
cant beat the traditional sponge and custard in this house
and when I finished dancing the bowl was ready for my to lick out ^^ best bit
then I went for a shower~
afterwards I went for a walk with mum
which I found hard work as I was tired but I got it done
we came in and had soup which was good
then I went to sleep
i just couldnt function with new medication and lack of sleep
when i got up I realised I was home alone
so i recorded a dance
it took sooooo much effort to get up and do it but i felt i wanted to try
and i did it luckily it was only a short dance
then i did some more dancing but i was getting sloppy because i was so tired
but i like to be able to blast my music out when no one else is home
makes dancing 10x better with loud music
then i sat with my Ozwald with a brew
he enjoys his sits
honestly he will sit there forever more
its only like 6pm and im struggling to know what to do
its hard when your tired and feel so fog brained
im not getting on with anything and its annoying me!
were about to sit down and have pizza but my brother has gone out on his BMX
dont envy him as my god it is cold tonight!
I did my nails last night
did 10 different designs~
i will upload a photo
tomorrow is christmas
im looking forward to the food actually
but as for how im gonna spend the day i am unsure
as what is there to do on christmas day when its just the usual 4 of you?
it can be a lil dull to be honest but i do try my best with it all
and i hope im able to enjoy the day and not too much of a corpse
i hope everyone likes what i have brought them this year
i drew this to celebrate christmas
its the girl from Lets go Eevee
Merry Christmas Eve Eve~
I didn't sleep well as once again I felt ill in the night
I did however manage to stay in my bed all night
I woke up at 8am too so bonus!
Mum kindly dyed my hair this morning
I now have brown hair
mum says i match the bread board and the kitchen units XD
its fresher and softer
I havent dyed it in months
I cleaned my room which didnt take too long
I like it clean for christmas
Mia phoned me to have a rant XD
I designed some christmas nails which I would like to do tonight
As it never stopped raining til like 5pm today I danced inside
despite feeling rotten I pushed myself to do something
I felt better for doing something
then I sat with my Ozwald
I did a bit of sewing, that robin thats been sat in my floor
ive just got a lot of hand sewing to do on it tomorrow
and that was my day really
tonight is new Cats does Countdown Christmas so im looking forward to seeing that
tomorrow is christmas eve
I dont have any plans tho
probably finish off the robin, go for a walk
ive been meaning to do some drawing but cant find the will to get going with it
maybe cus i feel so off
not looking forward to another night of feeling poorly
here is the Kruidnoten I made yesterday
traditionally theyre suppose to be like round disks but i chose to shape them~
Evening~~
My god did I feel sick in the night
it was awful
I woke up plenty
but I stayed in my bed all night which is something
I got up at 7am to let Oz out then I crawled back in my warm bed til 7:30am
I felt pretty rotten all day
its these new antidepressants theyre horrid
Im trying to stick with them
I fell asleep for an hour this morning I just wasnt well
I made some Kruidnoten which my Dutch friends has taught me how to make
so i was glad i did something productive with my morning
its become a yearly tradition to make these biscuits
I had massage at 12 for an hour
it about crippled me, nice but yeah it did hurt a bit
and i felt sick afterwards
i was so cold afterwards as well
so i came in and showered then mum had warmed me some soup ^^
I didnt do much after lunch i just felt dead not to mention my stomach was off
but i managed to go for a walk with my parents
asi hadnt done any exercise and felt i could tolerate it better if i had company
but i forget how dull it is walking with dad,, jesus
we came back and I had a brew with Oz
then I laid round
its been a bit dull for me if im honest just cus i feel so rotten
im not good at sitting round
I didnt clean my room
but I will do it tomorrow
ive also got the robin to stitch which is still on my floor ready to be made -____-
Here is Millie and Alice's christmas photo this year
cute arent they
just very lazy critters
my parents have gone to a neighbour's for a drink
not that ether of them wanted to go
so i can watch what i like on tv tonight
and i was gonna play on the wii but im too corpse like
im gonna attempt yoga tho
Evening
what do you know, another day were Ive been awake since 4am!
im so damn tired
i felt proper sick in the night i thought i was gonna chuck up at one point
but its new medication which hasnt been that nice but could be worse
I got up this morning at 7am and did my pet duties
went food shopping with mum before it got mental out there
we were in the shop for 8:45am it was quiet cus everyone was dropping
their kids off at school, when we left it was getting busy cus people had
dropped kids off to school
so it was a good job done
i had a shower and waited for mum to do the lamb stew for tonight
then we went for a walk
it was a bit bleak to say the least
we left there and went to a cafe
were i had a hot chocolate and shared a bit of caramel shortcake with mum
that was my lunch XD
we came home
i changed my bed and laid on fresh bed
then went to mias were i stayed there from 2pm til 5pm
we exchanged presents and had a catch up
i came home and did some yoga
i was so damn cold from mia's house tho
her house is cold so it made me ache big style
couldnt wait to warm up so i had another hot chocolate
had dinner and had to wait almost an hour for the burning feeling in my stomach to pass
i havent done much else today
tomorrow is the christmas park run and mum did it last year
and was gonna go this year but everywhere is like water logged so shes not going
and nether am i cus i wont enjoy it
i do have a massage booked for midday which i can not wait for
its an hour long so i hope i can walk afterwards
ive got biscuits to make tomorrow and my room wants a dust over the weekend
i like a tidy room before christmas~
not got anything else planned
might watch a film in the evening as my parents have been invited over to a neighbour's house for a drink which they dont want to go but they are going so i might watch an anime film downstairs as i never did watch the girl who leapt through time ><
Oz's christmas photo this year
god it was hard to photograph him as he wouldnt keep still!!!
cute tho
Evening
My god I barely slept
it was as bad as the night previously
took me til midnight to get to sleep
woke up at 1am to the sound my brother coming home
woke up at 2am
woke up at 4am and been awake since as i was in agony to the point were i was almost crying the aches were so bad and relentless
I got up for a stretch and cereal it was just awful
my head hurt and of course my nose was blocked
I couldnt wait for my dad to get up at 7am so I could dive out of bed
there was no way I felt like school
I looked sick
but I went
cus im like that
I got to school and a few members of staff said "are you alright?" when I arrived
guess I must have looked bad even with the make up
I was in the youngest class and it went fine really
I watched a boy chuck up in the toilet
what timing that was...
I was just doing odd jobs which I didnt mind cus it was mindless and passed time
i got to leave at 11:45am too!
I went home and had a hot chocolate and 2 biscuits
got changed and went to go see Seth
I couldnt be bothered to drive half hour as I felt rough but I went
and I was glad I did
his outfit was amazing and I saw his grotto which I took photos of
this is the walk way to the groto house
cool huh like UV
I talked with him for probably 45mins then I left him to start his next shift
which left me able to wonder the farm and I found cute piggies
reindeer and donkeys too
god the guineas were so damn small and cute!!
Seth gave me a badge to take home X3
I got home and mum had just walked in
she had brought us all a biscuits which was very nice
we went out to fetch my prescription for my new antidepressant which im looking forward to working just not looking forward to the side effects
its called Venlafaxine
we came back and I had a brew with Ozwald
then I googled my new medication just cus mum was curious
then thats all ive been on my laptop today not very exciting cus internet is boring
I had yoga and Karen did her usual christmas routine which was good
then we all had to mindfully eat a cube of dark chocolate
i couldnt wait to come home and get rid of the taste
i forget how gross dark chocolate is
we had pasta for dinner i didnt eat much but still got stomach ache
tomorrow gotta go shopping again with mum
thats 3 food shops in 5 days
she always gets worked up about the amount of food we have in storage over christmas
but im going with it
hopefully we can go for a drink or something later
then at 2pm im seeing Mia to swap xmas presents so that will be nice
and i have finished work for 2018!
Konbanwa~~
I hardly slept
like really didnt sleep
I got up and tossed and turned and yeah just mega bad night
i was sweating none stop, my hair felt wet
I felt poorly in the night hence why I didnt sleep
so this is officially my 3rd cold in 6 weeks -_____- my immune system serious sucks
I felt soo ill this morning
I had a burning nose like when you have water up your nose
my throat was cloggy my head pounded and ache
oh my god the pain
it was horrendous
I had some breakfast - hot chocolate
and went to bed
I was so dead to the world it was all I could do
I got up and had a shower this was 11am and I did feel a little better
felt better for rinsing the night's sweat from me
I ached so much I cant tell you how much pain ive been in
it was like growing pains but much much worse
in the end I pushed myself and went for a walk
im not sure how I even achieved the walk but I did
and I did it in the hopes it would help my pain
no
it made it worse - if that was possible
i started crying cus i hurt so much and nothing was helping
i was running to the toilet a lot and that was getting to me
I sat and had porridge for lunch
I couldnt see karen as I was obviously too sick and didnt want to infect her
so mum went by herself
i went back to bed
when I got up I had a brew and I sat with Oz
i tried going on my laptop but soon bored me
agency rang and said they have work for me at the school i was at last week
just for the morning in the youngest class
i like the teacher in there shes very down to earth, the children go early for lunch, i think i can hack it well i hope i can. Im suppose to see Seth tomorrow
so I will literally be leaving school and driving to see seth
god im gonna be wiped not to mention I have yoga also....
i rang the psychiatrist's receptionist to say could he ring me tonight
and gave her the list of antidepressants ive taken
and he did in fact ring me back!
he is doing me a prescription ready to be collected tomorrow afternoon
he gave me the option of 4 antidepressants
1. similar but 'newer' than one ive had before which helped me
2. one that helps with anxiety but can increase weight
3. one that increases weight
4. many have success with but has a lot of nasty side effects
so i said it was a toss up between 1 and 4 as any weight gain would tip me over the edge. I said which did he think I should go for?
he said "if you think you can handle number 4 then i advise that one"
and i thought 'well ive got the christmas period to kinda get used to it at least and ive been on many nasty medications before whats another'
i cant remember what its called or would even be able to spell it XD
so im picking that tomorrow - something else to do tomorrow whilst im feeling like crap
he given me the lowest dose of 37mg the max dose is 300mg so yeah at least i can build on it
the psychologist wont be happy but that will make me happy
so tomorrow i start antidepressants once again hopefully
feel like im giving in some how but yeah clearly need them
i did a bit of yoga to try and stretch out and help pain
did that for half hour
watched another christmas special we had on dvd
ive been trying to hunt out all our comedy christmas specials
found 5 i think it is now
only time of year i can bare to watch em XD
so tomorrow
school all morning
visit seth at work whilst hes being santa at a farm 30 mins away which is where Ozwald came from
then ive got my prescription to fetch
yoga
man im gonna be dead
id be dead without a cold never mind whilst i feel like this
oh here is some facial products i brought
one is a face pack that says you can use it 4 times a week ive used it twice in the last 3 days and my face is dry so no way am i trying 4 times a week! the other is a night cream to brighten the skin which my skin looks quite dull during winter but i havent tried it yet i might have ago tonight with it
