Evening~~
I had to get up at 3:30am
felt horridly sick
i've upped my antidepressant and im blaming that
but i did find out that my pain killers have been reduced to their former dosage
so im happy about that as they were doing bugger all anyway
if i can take less medication i will~
yeah mum said i looked rough this morning
This morning i somehow motivated myself to do some dancing
i did learn some more of crossroad but in all honesty i think ive forgotten it
but i was dripping in sweat, actually dripping
how grim is that
so i showered then i went out to the shops for mum
i picked up the bits i needed
managed to get some rabbit pajamas and slippers
this time of year is perfect for finding rabbit stuff! i love it!
I came home and had some lunch and slept for 2 hours
i felt like road kill once again its my antidepressants
ive doubled the dosage and its taking a lot outta me
i hate it
i got up and went on my laptop
then i had a brew with Oz and mum
he looked tired as he usually does
god he gave me a heart attack last night
he was on my knee and started shuddering i thought he was having a fit or something but turns out he had actually fallen asleep whilst i was stroking his face!!! jesus Oz he'd fall asleep on the washing line im sure. so lazy bunny-idle i call him
ive been drawing this afternoon and evening
I wanted to get the base colour finished on the picture for Liv and Alacia
so this is how far i am
think its slowly coming along
Alacia has seen it on What's app and loves it :D so im happy
not sure what i will do tonight
i went charity shops today and found a Chrono Crusade manga for £1 so i brought it to take to work and read on lunch i already have it so doesnt matter is it becomes wrecked
tomorrow i'll probably do drawing and maybe food shopping with mum
then i will be returning to running club!!
Mia says shes starting the gym tomorrow so im keen to see if she does actually go
Jack signed the housing paperwork today he just has a bit of paperwork to do then he can move in on 28th march! so fast! but i guess thats renting for you
still im happy for him having his own place
Evening~~
I didn't sleep great i was so cold
woke up loads cold
but stayed i bed all night so thats a plus
i got up at 7am
my nails last night tho, my god im so proud of em
just look at these buggers
they look almost professional
so was happy with em~
This morning I had doctors and how you can run 40 mins late for your 2nd appointment of the day is beyond me, what happens when your like 10th appointment of the day?
so i was not impressed with what the doctor had to say
i know i have my illnesses for life but hearing him say "youre gonna be like this for life you know" yes i know!!! no need to rub it in!! i just want help
so the help i got
im staying on higher dose of pain killer (did not want that particularly)
my antidepressant is being doubled (did not want that as well as higher pain killer)
to be referred FOR THE THIRD TIME IN MY LIFE to the sodding pain clinic
honestly only last month did i kick the clinic treatment and now i gotta go back
and ive been twice already in my life
theres nothing they can do >.>
i came back and danced my frustration out
didnt get any further with any dances but practiced what i knew
cus i need to improve
i had a shower
went on laptop and got ready for work
work ahhhhhhhhh so hard!!!!!
theyre trying to train me on biology ><
which im enjoying but its difficult
rebecca had left me instructions on what she wanted from me
and she had been sketchy on the details
and told alan he had to mean and not help much ><
so hard!
i had to make similar bacteria up i made on friday
which i could remember but its the maths i struggle with
im gonna ask dad for help if i can
cus i need it explaining
but i managed to do the lesson prep and make the bacteria
both of which alan checked over
jack kept looking at me and i practically hissed like a cat at him "stop watching me you make me nervous!!" but i got it all right anyway
i had to leave the bacteria out to cool then it needed to go in the fridge, we got to the end of the stairs upon leaving and i said "did anyone put the bacteria in the fridge?" no
so i ran and did that thank god i did cus it would have been dead come morning!
so glad i remembered that bit!!
jack told me he showed off dragonite to alan and that other teachers had seen my doodle of the 4 of us and said how good it was ^^
no one is creative at work im the odd one out
whereas all my friends are creative so im used to being around creativity
at work i stand out XD
i came home had a brew with Oz and mum
about falling asleep
im tired but im also frustrated and i dont know how to unwind
its cus i ache so much and ive had enough
im tired and achy and yeah
jack thinks he's found a flat to live in with a mate and gonna
sign paperwork tomorrow after work so thats exciting
i hope it goes through for him
hes asked me to crop the image of the 4 of us he wants just his head
so ive got that to do at some point
tomorrow no plans as of yet~
Evening~
I didn't sleep through the night
however i did remain in bed all night
I got up at 8am
I looked quite white today
I spent my morning having a go with this masking fluid
doing the wolf picture but it didnt turn out that well
painting white masking fluid on white paper is quite hard
as it drys clear too...
so i couldnt see where id been
still it gave me something to do
then i did 20mins of yoga
and went for a run~
the run was good and i hope to return to running club this week
I came in and had a shower
I made some lunch then i read in bed and fell asleep for an hour
the rest of the day felt long....
just a long dull sunday really
i did get a picture done for Jack as he asked for a wallpaper for his phone
he gave me a few pokemon to choose from
i went with dragonite and i decided that id do it manga style instead of colour
thinking it will look more mature
he was well happy with it
and said he made it his wallpaper ^^
i wasnt fussed what he did with it to be honest as it didnt take too much doing
i like doing art for people
i said he can request anything at any time
ive made a start on a picture for Alacia and Liv but not far
designed my nails for tonight
think i will do tiger stripes but i havent really got a good orange
it went off and i forgot to replace it
so peach will have to do
i feel a bit off and tired
and my god do i ache
im hoping tonight isnt too agonising
tomorrow i am going doctors at 8:50am
to talk about my pain
mum says she might come and back me up
then im gonna go home and dance
i'll have work to attend as well
kinda nervous this week as jack might find out whether they will up his pay or he will move jobs he says he filled out the application form today :/ it would suck to lose him
we shall see
Evening~
Didn't sleep great and had to get up in the night
but hey whats new
i got up at 7:20am
i brought mum the pigs in bed she was well happy having them in her bed with her
so i was glad i could make her morning with such a simple gesture
I did some dancing and im getting
further with Fairies Crossroad
I was an absolute mess so sweaty XD mum was like "you look hot!"
i went for a shower and me and mum went shops
i got a new top and some shorts to wear under my lace trousers that im looking forward to receiving in the post soon
then we came back and i had lunch and i got ready to meet jack
we went and brought mothers day cards for his relatives
and got him some more joggers too and a book
we had a white hot chocolate which comes with a chocolate
and then we went sat and in the pub
we chatted and messed around
i could feel myself try to change but managed to control it
he could tell it was happening too so kept talking to me
and i did pull through
Eko was just majorly jealous and wanted time with him ><
we left and it was lashing it down with rain
i saw my bus and i ran for it
missing it by seconds the driver chose not to wait for me
i thought "git, im not standing for this or waiting 40 mins in the rain"
so i ran
i ran to the next bus stop knowing the bus would have a set of traffic lights to wait at
and knew i was quick even in the rain
and i got it
got on the bus the driver didnt even look at me
i thought "yeah take that, i win"
a supreme victory to me that was
i came in and had dinner, showered as i felt a bit like a drowned rat
and ive got awful stomach ache and its making so much noise!
whats up with it ><
gonna sit with Oz and go bed~
I've offered for Jack to come over to my house for the first time
at the end of the month
my parents will be away so it will be a nice stepping stone for us both
of course im still nervous about him coming over tho
as of today we have been going out a whole month!
tomorrow id like to do my painting
if the weather is good id like to do a run also
here's a figure i loved when i saw and i have never seen before
its Hana from Hanayamata anime
the anime that introduced me to Yosakoi dancing :D
special anime to me so i really wanted this figure
i was so happy i won the bid!
Evening~~
I had to get up and went back to bed at 2am
felt so incredibly sick but i did drink that tea
i wonder why it makes me feel so sick?
I did sleep tho so much so that I didnt wake til 7:05am
as i was having weird dreams
that tea works once you get off to sleep
hasnt helped with pain i dont think tho
I got to work on time and went to print out my picture
I drew for everyone on the Science team
from top to bottom Me, Alan, Rebecca, Jack
and my god the response I got from everyone!!
they loved it!
and printed of 4 A3 copies and laminated them
so we now have one copy in each prep room and people took one home
i was happy that i could make them happy with my art work
Alacia and Liv would like to be drawn next ><
Teachers saw the doodle and thought I was really talented
My morning was different
Jack wanted me to learn from Rebecca
so I spent 3 sodding hours making some bacteria!!
it was so lengthy i could not believe it!
but good learning experience I guess
then I did some tidying up
had lunch where I got the 6 of us to participate in arm wrestling!
i beat the girls anyway
then after lunch i did Jack's washing up and then i went downstairs to help alan
good full on day i was quite tired
after work i came home and went to mia's for an hour
good to see her and she wanted to know every minute detail between myself and jack...
but good to talk to her
then i came home showered and had dinner
then me and my brother went to the shop so i could get some liquid masking fluid
and paint brushes
now im home and gonna sit with Oz
i won some lace trousers last night so i was happy about that
tomorrow unsure what to do yet
the weather looks like its gonna be awful
might see jack this weekend~
Konbanwa~~~
I could not sleep
and like last night I didnt sleep til 4am and got up just before 8am
so ive had 8 hours sleep in the last 48 hours -___-
i was doing half hour of yoga at 1:30am
stupid agency rang at 6:50am i put the phone down
cheeky gits
waking me up after such a crap night
i drank that mugworm tea again and had weird dreams
truly does make you dream weird things
this morning i cleaned my Ozwald out
he didnt pester me too much ether
then I went to dance
i did a good i think 40 mins
i worked out how to sync my ipod up with the tv speakers so i can blast music out now
its brilliant!!! i loved it as the little speakers ive used up to now are rubbish
so i was well happy about that
i was wet through with sweat
i have no idea how i do the work outs i do half the time
i enjoyed it tho
i changed my bed too
then i sat drawing mainly
i tried working on the Absol picture for Jack but couldnt get on with it
so tried drawing tyranitar and i wasnt happy with that
so ive gone with dragonite
ive done the outline
then ive had this idea i want to do which is basically a wolf face but i need to buy some liquid masking tape at the weekend to do it think its called Gezzo but could be wrong its been 10 years since i used the stuff
here's the rough plan which im gonna trace onto A3
i had yoga to attend and i did really well it didnt feel like a massive ask how it usually can feel like and i made an L shape with my hands on the floor and feet up the wall, well easy
Tomorrow I have work all day then should be seeing mia
im a bit sad as I know Alan is leaving in May but Jack has told me today that Rebecca will be leaving same time as Alan D:
they had interviews today for Alan's successor but out of 6 people they didnt hire anyone
im yet to find out just why
but it really made me wonder how i got my job i mean only 3 people went for my position and i got in, just how did i do that. Jack says he might try and get a few more hours for me maybe
it will just be me and him then soon ><
im gonna print out my picture tomorrow at work i cant wait to show everyone
Evening~~~
Well last night I went out to meet Jack
I got into the city centre for 7pm and we went to a bar
called 400 Rabbits
very weird place
like my dreams on crack
rabbits and skulls everywhere and mexican themed...yeah
so Jack brought me a cocktail, I have no idea what it was I drank
just that it was like a slushie drink and I couldnt taste gross alcohol
we sat and played Connect4 which I wont then we just talked really
I was unaware of the time even after he offered me another drink
we were the only ones upstairs so it was really quiet which was nice
I checked the time at it was almost 11pm the time when my family goes to sleep
and i forgot my house key
thinking my brother would surely be awake i text him
no reply
so i rang
no reply
crap
if he was asleep surely everyone else was
so i gave up and hoped that someone has realised my keys were at home and leave me the door unlocked, we decided to leave a bit afterwards i couldnt finish my 2nd drink i felt to sick i think it was a combo of alcohol, being 4 hours late for medication and worrying about getting home
i went to my bus quickly leaving jack as i saw the bus there
turns out it was just ditching people and then was not in service
next bus 45mins
so i text jack and he came and waited 20mins with me i didnt ask him to and i sent him on his way to get him tram as he has work in the morning
i sat in the cold it was past midnight now
i got on the bus and my phone rang...
mum
crap
she wanted to know where i was and if i was ok and that i should have text her and yeah yeah yeah i got told off basically for not making my where abouts known
its just cus theyre not used to me being out late my brother is out all the time and no one is arsed but because its me people like to know im ok in the world
i got home and got in as my mum left the front door open
turns out my brother did get my text just didnt fancy telling anyone about it
i was up til 4am
got up at 8am
it was worth it tho it was a good night ^^
and i got a cute little plastic bunny that they placed with a drink~
so today mum gave me a little talking to
i swear i should just wear a GPS XD
lesson learned and all that
i had a shower this morning there was no time to do exercise
then we went into the city centre
we went for massage and acupuncture
i wasnt aware just how knotted my back and shoulders had become actually
so it was much needed
then we went for tea, toastie and cake
it was all amazing
did a bit of shopping i got two new bras just £3 each bargain~
then we came back
i went on my laptop for a bit then sat with Oz and had a brew
then continued drawing and got my drawing finished for school
think it looks alright
im gonna get it printed out on friday~
i havent done any exercise today apart from walking round city centre
as much as i was tempted for a run i decided not to what with having a massage
its not always good to do hard exercise after a massage
so as hard as it was i left it
i hope i sleep tonight
not got anything on tomorrow
might draw or something
got plenty to be working on
i have an idea for a painting but i need stuff for it
