Evening
took me til like 1am to actually get to sleep
and what a horrific dream i had 0.0
i dreamed i was married off to some guy, then pregnant
then sat in a bath tub giving birth to a dead child
awful awful dream
couldnt wait to wake up!
This morning I went for a long walk by myself
then I came back and somehow managed 30mins of dance
it was an effort tho i have to say, just felt too worn out to dance
mum made soup so that was nice to have for lunch
i have eaten loads today just been really hungry for some reason
I worked on my painting
this is it so far
it pretty much just needs outlining
but my new paintbrush hasnt come yet
so im not sure if i will just get impatient and use my thin brush XD
jack likes it tho he says it looks really good
i have enjoyed doing it but theres not much skill with this painting
it wasnt challenging in the slightest
hopefully should look good when it is done
im gonna take it jack's tomorrow
i laid in my bed, i laid on the sofa
just needed rest and chill out time today
i tried to read and play my switch but nothing was cutting it i just simply needed to switch off, so laying down it was really :/
i havent done any dance practice tonight as im just too mentally worn out
tomorrow tho i am going to jack's
probably in the morning once again
then coming back monday evening
its another sodding bank holiday this weekend
so i wanted to stay out the way
Yo~
I got to sleep around midnight
it was so damn hot -_____-
I got up at 8am
i had a dream i was playing dodgeball, and playing it well XD
mum was going out this morning
so i went for a longer walk by myself
then i came home, feeling rather done in so i rested but then did 40 mins of dancing
i found it hard work but after 15mins i loosened up and enjoyed it
then i had a much needed shower i was wet through
I spent my day painting XD
been enjoying it
at 3pm i stopped to watch killing eve on iplayer as i always miss it due to being a jack's
must say out of the 5 episodes so far ive only enjoyed 2 of them
not my best season but something to watch
then i went back to painting
i havent sat with Oz today which feels weird
but its been hot and also he's chosen to sit in the shade and in the bushes today
and i think if hes happy and cool i will leave him as i only make him hot by bringing him into the house, last night he flopped out on the sofa instead of sitting on my knee as it was just too warm for him but i know he still likes coming in for a bit of fuss and its his routine
we got a letter from the vets today saying Oz was due his jabs - which i knew
but it said 'if he is well then could you postpone it due to the corona virus' - which i was planning on
no way am i taking him at the moment unless he was sick
i will wait til i can be in the room with him
besides he is totally fine its just his annual jabs and annual check up
and i know he is fine and i will get him jabbed up when everything has settled down
i did 15mins of dance practice in my room
i wanted to do more but i would have just died of the heat if i continued
and i can not be arsed with another shower
i got an email saying my school is open to year 10 8th June
but no word as to when i am personally back
but small steps
gonna do my nails tonight and have a hot chocolate ^^
tomorrow probably just a repeat of today
exercise and painting~
Evening
Slept like crap didnt sleep til gone 1am
i was up overdosing and eating cereal woo
i slept after that tho til 7:30am
this morning mum went shopping
so i cleaned out girls and Oz
then my brother helped me wash my girls and they were really well behaved
theyre all fluffy and soft now
i did 45mins of yoga
then i fell asleep on my bed for a bit
went for a short walk with mum
cus it was like 27c today, it was roasting and little breeze
im shattered constantly and i think it is just hay fever
i came back and showered and had lunch
since then i have pretty much spent my entire day painting!
really zoned out doing it whilst listening to my ipod its been really nice actually
i got really far as well im pleased with it
i mean there isnt much skill behind the painting or drawing but it has given me something to do
i played my switch and had dinner
then sat outside with Oz as it was more bearable temperature
i was gonna do some dance practice but its so hot upstairs
i still might try just 10 mins tho
tomorrow
probably just exercise in the morning then painting
mum is out in the morning so i will just please myself exercise wise
Konbanwa
It was nice to be back in my own bed last night
took me til about midnight to sleep but once i was asleep i slept til 7am
then napped til 8am
I went for a walk with mum this morning
i really couldnt be bothered
i was just worn out for some reason
im thinking its maybe hayfever thats making me feel so drained
theres soooo many seeds flying in the air right now!
but i managed a walk
i came back and did 15mins of dance half heartily
then showered
then i dusted my bedroom cus it was ready for dust after making that jacket
it had kicked up quite a bit dust and fluff from that blanket!
I spoke to mia on the phone for over an hour
god my joints and muscles afterwards hurt!
it was good to speak to her tho
she seems to be doing alright
then i started to plan out my pokemon painting
i spent hours drawing it all out and i have finished the rough sketch
i can start painting it now
theres many hours of work there but it should look good when its actually finished
and should keep me quiet
i helped mum with the dinner
then i did 25mins of dance practice in my room after dinner
i was learning a hard fast one and i have managed like 30seconds
so hard to take in and get right but i was in mood for a challenge
tilly finished her medication today
she seems totally fine thank god
we will give the sows a bath tomorrow
tomorrow probably exercises if it isnt too tiring
and painting!
tonight might draw a rough outline for the picture for the dish washer at work
Evening
My tillie is doing really well
almost like there was nothing wrong with her....
but im glad shes doing well ^^
Saturday morning I went over to Jack's
I was reunited with both jack and flump ^^
we made a soup for lunch
then we did a big walk with theo
we played switchs
at pizza
and that night I slept really well
had a dream that i was back at my high school
it was empty until i got to my form room which had a class in and my form teacher
thats when i flew into a rage and i could blast people with a force of wind by thrusting my palm out, safe to say that the room was covered in blood and guts when i was finished
i was being chased so flew out the window and was casually hopping from roof top to roof top
yup ether im disturbed or watched too much anime XD
sunday morning
we did a work out together which was mainly yoga for me and weights for jack
we did a walk
we baked cookies
played switches
then his friends gave him a call at 4pm on Zoom
i was laid out on the rug in front of the patio door which was open and letting in a lovely breeze and hot sun, and hot sun on my joints is amazing
so i laid and laid, they were only talking about politics for some reason anyway
then i got up and talked to them for a bit
then i made dinner which was chopped roasted veg and chicken, jack played his switch and didnt help much but i was fine as i kinda wanted to it as he seems to always cook for me
then he had his gaming and theo was gaming online with harvey
so i was very much just left to it
which i was fine about and it allowed me to finish of the picture i have done for the fridge at work:
cute huh
it got to 9:30pm and i was aching and had enough
i decided to grab my phone, ipod, jacks flat keys and i went for a walk round the city centre by myself at 9:30pm it was odd being out so late and no one around
i got back at 10:10pm
usually jack is done for 10pm but he wasnt
it was 10:40pm by time he had finished
bit annoying
i couldnt sleep as id gone past the stage of being tired
got to sleep around 1am
we woke up to the sound of jacks alarm at 8:30am
i got up and had a shower
we had a meeting online at 9:30am
it was good to see everyone from science
and people were asking if jack was treating me right XD
it only lasted 10/15 mins and was pointless as nothing was said but i guess its about staying in touch and i actually havent attended a single meeting yet so it did me good to show my face
all day from the moment i got up i have felt sick and really really anxious
like im gonna sit an exam or have a panic attack like my throat feels tight and everything
jack says i was ringing my hands a lot
dont know what the problem even is
i cant work it out
annoying tho
feels like i havent had my medication but i know i have
jack got showered and we went round the city
popped into wilkos and tesco
we brought the cutlery i wanted for our house - its rainbow! how cool is that ^^
jack paid for it as he says ive been buying loads of stuff for the house which is true but only cus he already has a shed load of stuff
we talked on the walk and i said i felt fed up last night, sometimes i think he talks too much about gaming or does/plays too much games
it can feel relentless at times like if hes not playing it hes talking about it
and sometimes its a bit much
i said i didnt know if it was me being tuned into it or if it was him
and he confessed he knows he does too much gaming or says to himself "ok i gotta shut up now"
i think cus i dont talk about my interests really as i think no one is interested why bore them
but he doesnt think the same as me XD
i dont mind him gaming but playing pokemon go whilst we're having breakfast can be a pee take
but i know a lot of his 'habits' are from him living how he likes, he usually does all this cus im not there so its hard to stop you doing these things in front of someone when youre so used to doing them. he says he will try harder but i told him theres no need, just sometimes its grating XD
we came back and had lunch
then i had a massive sleep i probably wont sleep tonight but i am shattered
we had tea and cookies
i got a message from mum saying my new plush had arrived - my replacement flump
i havent told jack, he just knows that i plan to replace flump in the future
so i said to jack i would take flump home and bring something else to his
little does he know its a great big bunny X3
i will photograph it :D
when i got home i went straight to Oz as i know he really misses me
i got lots of licks
and im gonna go now and sit with him and fuss his little face
he does miss me a lot and i feel guilty but i have to live my life sometimes
but mum always keeps him in routine and provides plenty of love ^^
tomorrow i might start a pokemon painting ive been wanting to do
and theo and jack gave me ideas for it too
Evening
Last night/this morning I woke up at 2am and thought
"im gonna be sick"
i got up and felt slightly out of it to say the least
i got downstairs and grabbed some breakfast biscuits and sat and ate them
that still didnt feel like enough somehow so i decided to make a hot chocolate as well
i took the hot milk out the microwave and quickly put the mug down
my vision was fading, my ears ringing and pulse thundering
i just thought 'need to get to the floor fast'
got knows how i actually got to the floor safely
put i laid there without my dressing gown luckily
i was cold but sweating, pulse thudding, and ears ringing
i laid there deep breathing til i felt well enough to stand
made the fastest hot chocolate ever and quickly sat down
and just made it as i could feel the need to faint coming on
i sat and drank the hot chocolate and went to bed when i felt safe to do so
i think it was too much medication and not enough food
this morning mum woke me at 8:20am holding tillie
"shes not well"
not what i wanted to wake up to
poor tillie
she was quiet, still, eyes sunken, fur felt horrible, she was off balance
how had she gone from being a bit quiet and tilted head last night to this!?
mum was upset, theyre her babies
so i rang up the vets for her and got tillie an emergency appointment
we got in for 10:15am
i told my brother, tillie is his favourite
and he said he wanted to go with mum, which was fair enough by me
they went and were a good hour
i did 40mins of dancing til i was a puddle, then had a shower
they came back
they said they had to pull up round the back of the vets, ring the vets to say their arrival, then someone collected tillie, she was examined and brought back to mum and my brother
they think THINK that she could ether have a ear infection or UTI
so she has: anti inflammatorys, antibiotics, something to help her stomach
3 medications once daily for 5 days!
she'll be smacked off her tits!
so i gave her her medication which she was very good about
later we put her outside on the grass with the other two
and literally you wouldnt know there was a problem
she was walking around normally, eating the grass, alert
i think she had us on this morning!
im glad shes like that and not on death's door
i hope she continues to do well
i worked on my jacket til lunch
then had lunch and fell asleep
a few nights of being up in the night does catch up on you
i just needed sleep, even now im tired
i got up and worked on my jacket and got it finished
im pleased with it, its so neat! I made it slightly bigger for me too so i can fit jumpers underneath it during the colder season
mum thinks it good
my brother says it looks like im gonna go sky diving XD
i cleared up and and had dinner
then i went for an evening walk as we didnt do one this morning
i went by myself round the woods it was nice but chilly i have to say!
tomorrow
i will do dance if dad is at work, yoga if he is at home
somehow yoga is more acceptable to him than dancing
then i will shower and get ready to go over to jack's
im staying there til monday
i said to mum if she wants me to come home to do tillie's medication then i will but she says i will only not be able to do it sunday and she will get my brother to help her
thats it really
Evening~
I tried to get to sleep but at 11:30pm my mum absolutely screamed....
she was having a nightmare and was half awake half asleep dreaming/thinking there was someone in front of her. So she screamed
dad is as comforting as an ice cube
i could hear her crying
so i went through to her
and gave her a cuddle whilst she laid in bed
my brother got to see if she was ok
dad just laid there
she apologised loads but there was no need to, we cant help what we dream
she said it took her while to get off to sleep
as for me and my brother it made us quite awake! so i went downstairs for a hot chocolate and to play on my switch my brother came shortly after and watched his ipad
he went to bed and i followed up shortly at around 12:45
I got up at 8:30am i slept pretty well
went for a walk with mum
then did 30mins of dancing til i was hot and sweaty
mum asked me to cut her fringe so i did that
i had soup to make but mum wanted to make it i think she wanted something to do!
so i went in the shower
after i had soup i started work on my jacket
its been another successful day
its really neat and i didnt make any mistakes
its going too well...
it just needs sleeves now and ribbon round the waist and its done!
i sent out texts to those i want to have my new number
i tried ringing several places to update my number and got no where!
no where was sodding open and it was only 1:30pm!
i will keep trying tho
been with my lad
hes been happy playing outside
its been so nice out that ive had my breaks and brews outside with him instead of sitting him on the sofa with me
tillie, who has had a slight tilt to her head since day 1 has been even more 'tilited' today
her head is really on one side
it could be an ear infection
so we shall see how she is tomorrow
it only really started this evening as she was fine this morning
we dont know if its just her being a bit on one side as normal or if something is up
this evening i did some more of my cake drawing
i just have the hair to do and its done!
and i practised a bit of dancing
im half way through a fairies dance
tomorrow i plan to finish my jacket
hopefully get my picture done also
about it really
