Almost done my first week

 Evening~

I've been to school

ended up sleeping over at Jack's on tuesday

I couldn't cope with the idea of waking up by myself and getting ready alone round the house. Just the anxiety was too great so I drove over to Jack's as I had already made myself upset with anxiety

i just feel for Oz but mum assured me that she would take care of him

I gave Jack his new mouse mat and he loved it ^^ set it on to pink LED so it matched his computer, mouse and headset he was so happy and said it works well so i was glad

as i had no idea what i was buying!

Work has been dull to be honest

still not into the swing of things

struggling to eat whilst I am at school

Yesterday I went straight over to jack's with him

he was suppose to have a driving lesson so we ate dinner before hand so he could get ready for his lesson but it got cancelled last minute which was strange so we had an evening to kill

we went for a 20mins walk round town and then i did 20mins yoga

then we pretty much played okami on his bed and went to sleep

today was another dull day really

nothing good to report 

i came home and saw my baby bunny, how I had missed him

he was dead happy to see me too ^^ so i sat and had a brew with  him and A LOT of pain killers i was on the verge of crying today, just so damn tired and in pain but cant have any other pain relief at work cus i will just want to sleep :/ so i have to suffer whilst working 

im gonna go over to jack's tonight just so i sleep and dont get anxious in the morning

I have been sleeping well at his actually ^^

anyway last day tomorrow then I have completed my first week~

First day back at school

 Evening~

So yesterday~

didnt want to get up X3 it was my last day of freedom damn it!

But it turns out Jack was awake and out for breakfast at like 9am!

so I asked him if he wanted to see me in the afternoon and he said he'd come over

That gave me time to be me X3

I did a 45min walk then 40mins of yoga

then I asked mum to put purple streaks in my hair which came out great :D i sat with Foil in my hair XD and of course thats when Jack decides to show up, he saw me and just smiled

i could see from his face he was thinking "what she up to now?"

so i went to shower that all out, then i got mum to tint my eyelashes and i did hers and her nails

Jack didnt mind watching mum's nails get done X3 

then we went for a walk, yes another walk but i was determined to tire myself out as I wanted to sleep for school the next day, so we did a good walk which was nice

then we came back and sat with Oz for an hour ^^ 

then we left for his flat, we made chicken and rice

i struggled to eat cus of anxiety but i managed food none the less

then we played Okami on his bed and had an early night of 10pm

I slept til 1am then got up for a massive wee

then i slept until the alarm of 6:45....

I got ready and stuff for school it wasnt too much of an ask actually

and i didnt struggle too much with the tea cakes

upon arriving at the school tho...ugh i felt so nervous and sick

we popped our bags off at the science office then walked to the hall

having the plan in mind of sitting together (1M apart cus we knew it would be set out so) and near back. but as soon as i saw through the open the door the hall, i started having an anxiety/panic attack

there was no two spaces together, no spaces at the back (so i could stand up if i ached)

i couldnt breathe i had tears down my face, jack turned round to me as he saw the dept head coming towards me and she said "come on Jo I will sit you in the reception office" and jack shouted back at me "will you be ok" i just nodded

she sat me with the reception staff who would be streaming the hall meeting....streaming it...that was an option was it!? i didnt need to go through that if it was gonna be streamed!!! T^T

it drained me, even tho it wasnt a full blown attack as it couldnt get to that point as the dept head took me away, it still drained me

after sitting for an hour unable to hear the stream due to everyday noises i left for the science office, were i tried to stream it on my laptop but it wasnt having it so i gave up and went to go sit with the printer technician whilst she worked, its company

then break time i saw jack he hugged me and we had a  cup of tea and a biscuit

then him and julia offered to go in the hall with me but i looked at it and could feel that panic feeling coming back on and said id stream it by myself

i know what it was, i couldnt bare to sit in pain in the middle of the room, unable to get out

i couldnt do it, the fear of aching there was too great

i went upstairs and did jobs really

then we had lunch but i couldnt eat really it was pasta and i tried but food wasnt sitting right

i took my cake home for my brother which he enjoyed

after lunch it was department meetings and Jack got to stand at the front of the science team giving a health and safety speech he had put together, makes me sick, really knows how to put me off him XD he loves the power and authority and it makes me sick haha

then it was pretty much time to go home as we got to start 40mins later and finished an hour earlier!

i came home and had a brew with mum and Oz

i told her of my day and i said "i dont know what to do, the thought of getting up by myself tomorrow makes me want to cry.. but i dont want to leave you to care for Oz"

mum said "Jo youre getting upset now, this is to help you. Oz is fine and i dont mind caring for him he's no trouble" i had started crying at this point

I went for a walk with mum then I got home and rang jack and asked if i could stay over and he said it was fine ^^ so i am going over shortly :)

i had dinner and did 20mins of yoga

tomorrow is school

dont need to be there til 8:50am result ^^

then another 3:05 leave wooooo

staying over at jacks straight after tho

so not a bad first day i guess, just me and my issues ^^;

Saw Karen, and my worries about Oz

 Evening

I was happily sat downstairs with Oz last night - my usually evening routine, when my dad piped up

"why you are home tonight? Why hasnt Jack got you?" (Like im some sort pet or child) -___-

mum responds before I could "he's on the piss"

dad "good one Jack, all is forgiven" XD

thats where i stand on the matter, a trouble to my parents but Jack's drinking is supported XD

It took a while to drop off last night but I got there

apart from waking up at 4am feeling sick and needing a wee so I got up and I had a hot chocolate and some pain killers and went back to bed where I slept til about 8am

This morning felt weird, getting up and getting ready - not doing my morning exercises

me and mum were meeting Karen, I drove me and mum to a garden centre where we met Karen at 10:30am, it was soooo good to finally see her and she looks soooo well ^^ he hair is really growing back from her cancer, she looks healthier than me, how depressing is my life XD a recovering cancer patient has more radiance and glow than me!

but we sat and chatted for 2 hours, i was struggling to sit after a while

we had earl grey tea and a scone which was the best scone i have had in a long time

so we left and came home and I had lunch then i rested on my bed as i had taken a good dose

when I got up I motivated myself to go for a walk, i wanted to, but it looked a bit chilly out there!

still i walked for an hour i was sweaty afterwards 

i came in and had a brew with my Oz 

then i looked into what i could get Tara for her birthday on the 11th September

shes established and doesnt need or want anything, i didnt want to ask what she wanted, as i never like asking people what they want, i prefer to give them a total surprise. Only this month did she get a baby bunny who looks very cute and sounds very sweet natured and i can tell shes very happy with him as her current bunny is very grouchy and doesnt appreciate fuss. So I  brought her a bunny bundle online and asked for it to be sent to her house instead of mine then i havent got to go over and give it to her. She extremely protective of James during this virus as he was born with only 1 lung so hes vulnerable, so i havent seen her since february. which is fair enough. 

I then set about making her a birthday card, I water coloured Jasper, looks cute ^^ I will take a photo tomorrow

then I did 40mins of yoga, i was done in afterwards

Had dinner, and did my diary

gonna have a shower and sit with Ozwald

I have my concerns about Oz

basically for a while now like since maybe last year I have been saying his joints arent right, and lately i can tell if he hasnt moved for a while, he sits like hes holding himself as if hes got stomach ache or something. and when i move him like from his cage to the grass, hes always stiff and has to stretch to get himself going. when i carry him i can tell he isnt comfortable. this week i have noticed it really bad. and its because we have had cold damp weather which affects joints. this morning i put him on the bedding plants - soft - and his back leg gave way and then it took him 3 hops to get the leg moving again it was horrible to watch and i had put him down carefully. he hopped onto the bench today and sat on it ages, but then started pacing up and down and i said to mum "what is he doing?"

mum said "wonder if he cant get back down?" now we know he can we've seen him do it hundreds of times, but with his joints this week, maybe it would hurt him to get back down onto the wooden decking? so i went out to him quickly but he already made the jump. So im a bit stressed about it to be honest. as I looked into rabbit arthritis and basically all that can be done is pain relief thats it. it doesnt help that he is a bit over weight but not dramatically but it still doesnt help. i do watch what i give him now days tho. i dont really want to dose my rabbit up every day, hes only 3. but i guess i will have to if hes in pain but i think its cus its getting colder. 

i talked to mum about it. and i said i was planning on taking him to the vets during october for his yearly vaccinations so i could ask then about it. but i said "maybe he needs an indoor cage?" she said "well you have plenty of room in your bungalow, a spare bedroom in fact"

this is true

so i plan on talking to jack about this, how he feels about Oz being an resident in the house 

i would need to buy an indoor cage but i was planning on buying a new hutch anyway so thats no hardship really. i have never had an indoor bunny in the 15 years of owning a rabbit. to be honest i think jack will be totally cool with it. and Oz will only sleep indoors he will still play outside when he can :)

i just want what is best for him, and for him to go without pain killers for as long as possible as he might really need them in later life.

Tomorrow

mia mentioned on friday if i wanted to meet up on monday but im unsure if she realised it is bank holiday - rob will be off work - so im not sure if we are still meeting up

ether way i decided i want to try putting semi-permanent lilac hair dye streaks in my hair

never done it before i fancied the challenge and a change

and then at some point i will see jack as i am sleeping over at his as unfortunately i have school on tuesday!!!  ugh freedom almost over

2 more pokemon terrariums

 Evening

I couldnt get off to sleep last night despite playing okami in bed

so i got up a til 12:30 and then went to try again

and i did sleep then til 7am

i went for a walk with mum for 45mins then did 40mins of yoga

i was feeling a lil dead after massage to be honest

then i had a shower

then my day has consisted of sitting with Oz, doing my ebay stuff and resting

pretty much my day

had no idea how time consuming the ebay stuff would be but i hope it will be worth it

i have said that what i earn i will put towards a dressing table for the bungalow ^^

Jack is out drinking again tonight

i hope he will be safe

here is my new pokemon terrariums

my brother kindly did the the photography

im pleased with them, they are with the rest of my plants on the windowsill

tomorrow think me and mum are meeting karen finally

meeting her for a brew in a cafe ^^ should be nice

then i will come home and maybe finally do some drawing as i ran out of time and energy to draw today

 

17 things i gotta prep for selling...

 Evening

Look who slept ^^ Oh yeah what a victory~

always feels like a victory when i do actually sleep

this morning i went for a walk with mum

she doesnt walk as fast or as far as me but its still 45mins of walking

i came back and did 30mins of dancing then showered

i took photos of all the crap im selling later on in september

took me a fair while, then i had lunch with mum and i fell asleep i just felt like i couldnt keep my eyes open which is so annoying considering i did actually sleep last night

when I got up i had a brew with mum and Oz then played on Okami for a bit

then i had my massage

which was nice and needed

but afterwards i felt like really done in, my stomach was really off and now i am tired and headachy. not sure why it hit me that hard as i am usually ok

i have been typing up all the info for the selling stuff

took me ages

im selling 17 things! T^T

i have all those photos to edit as well! and theres like 3 to 4 of each item!

gonna take me ages >< but it will be worth it as i will just literally be able to cut and paste the lot!

tomorrow i will exercise then edit photos

then unsure after that really

Mole display

 Evening

I was once again over at Jack's last night

Harvey was over and the 4 of us sat talking about houses and stuff as he is moving out on Saturday! 

Then we had left me and Jack played Okami in bed

I decided to call it a night at 11pm

struggled to get to sleep to tried to wake Jack but he was well off so I left him and tried to sleep once again and did get off to sleep, but woke up annoyingly for a wee then got off to sleep again

but then at 4am some stupid woman - drunk - was outside the bedroom window, talking/shouting on her phone, kicking the railings infront of jack's bedroom window so it made a hell of a racket and woke us both us, jack got up and drew the curtains to look at her or i think shout at her but she staggered down the street. absoultely selfish woman, thanks to her i was awake and aching so we both got up and i took some pain killers and had a brew then after half hour we went to bed

to be woken up at 6am by the city bin men -______-

all in all i was quite tired when I got up at 7:15am >.>

not how i wanted to start a work day

we got to work and we saw head of science, i told him me and jack had brought a bungalow together he asked where we are gonna be living and i told him its like 3 mins from where i am now. He asked what high school i went to and i told him and he was like "no way! thats where i went!" small world that it is. turns out when i started the school at a year 7 he was in year 11 and head boy! small world...

i finished my display

here's my work on the mole. Literally did it all. Well jack gives me the information and I run with it. Cus i have no idea on the science behind it all XD Im just good at the art and design

got praised by head of science for it ^^

I re-potted my plants so they all look much better for some TLC

and I potted my two new baby cacti, i will take a photo as theyre cute X3

Then i helped jack with admin stuff, which we got finished on time luckily as i was ready to go home as i was shattered!

I dropped him off at the flat then continued on home, drugged myself up had a piece of the guinea cake with Ozwald and went to bed for a bit and felt so much better for a sleep

when i got up i did 40mins of yoga

felt so much better for doing that it made so many joints click! i wanted to do a walk also but it has not stopped raining and im not in the mood to get cold and wet so i will do some dance practice in my room in a minute and then shower and then see Oz then my own quiet comfy bed ^^

tomorrow I have 1 job left to do

and i will do my exercises and then at 4pm I have a massage which i can not wait for!

Tillie Truffle 1st Birthday!

 Konbanwa~~

I couldnt sleep last night no matter how hard I tried

so i went downstairs for more medication and cereal 

i went to bed, found jack's jacket on the back of my chair and slept with that next to me in bed

it smelled like him ^^

I got up at 7:30am

and from there I dont think I stopped really

I cleaned the pets out, including the girls cage - mum actually let me do for a change XD

then I did 30mins of dancing, had a shower

then I cut truffle's fur she was so good :3

i cleared out the 2 draws i had been putting off so i have officially cleared out all the crap out of my room now!

we then bathed the piglets so theyre all soft and fluffy

then I made soup from scratch and sat down at 1pm

think that was the only time i did get to sit! I was shattered after all that

all that piggie maintenence!

but it is Truffle and Tillie's first birthday today! bless them, finally 1

they are totally full grown pigs now

Truffle still runs round like a new born piggie and Tillie is only interested in filling her bottomless stomach....XD Molly still sorts them out and they still turn to her which is sweet

mum made them a cake whilst i had a quick nap

i love how truffle started smelling the cake X3

then we sat with them in the living room with Oz

we went for a walk as well

then i dusted my bedroom

ahhhh Jo is done ><

I've had a 2nd shower and about to sit with Oz and then go to jack's as we are going school tomorrow for another 5 hours i think

should be fine, im repotting my plants and finishing a display off so  i shouldnt be too boring!

then i will probably go back to jacks for a rest then come home, then I dont think i am seeing him til monday as he has stuff going off over the weekend...drinking again XD i stay out of it so he can enjoy himself without worrying about me

i just have 1 more job i need to be before school starts on tuesday so i will be able to get that done over the weekend at least

right i shall go round in my bunny