appointments and managed school

 Evening

I could not sleep last night

was in too much pain and felt sick so I got up for a hot chocolate and more pain killers

I did just about sleep after that, woke up at 3:30am to get comfy again then at 5:30am I woke up from a dream I was having, watching a guy get buried under hot coals and I could hear and smell it. Woke up at that point. But couldnt get off to sleep so got up really

Oz had no time for me this morning, literally used me for a treat and that was it!

I just about got through my school day

it was a hard effort tho 0.0

my day started by seeing jack at the school gates - he was early....

good job too as i couldnt get into school my ID card kept flashing red, jack's flashed red then green. So he let me in and i went to IT department, chris wasnt in yet but karen was. I went to whine to her and she said the system had an update on friday then its been down since. So if you werent in on friday I missed the update which isnt usually a problem but having the system go down too literally kicked my card out the school, i wasnt the only one as several members of staff dont work fridays. She told me to come back later

I got back to the prep room, but of course I literally cant open any door in school so i couldnt get to anything! my first period was prepped so after an impatient 10 mins i went back to IT and chris was in ^^ and said "just fixed it, you can be the first to have their card fixed" woo ^^ chris is good to me, I started talking about pain killers. Chris when his knee is bad, takes more Zapain than me and karen my god, she put me to shame. I take 2x 75mg of pregablin she takes 3x 100mg pregablin....i will never worry about overdosing again not especially after she told me you can go up to 900mg!!!

I left there and went to tell jack what id learned about pain killers XD

the chris came to do my assessment and he sorted out a few things, the 2 chest of drawers that cramped my desk have gone, hes given me an amazing chair and getting me a foot stool to rest my feet on!! he says "you have to sit properly tho" i said i would give it my bestest go XD

then I had all on prepping a mitosis prac my god the teacher was being a pain in what she wanted, all 3 of us got involved and only just got it done on time. was there a thank you? nope

i was peeved, got it twice more then done!

On my break which wasnt until 11:15, got in at 7:50am i hadnt stopped i was dead!

i said to jack and julia my heart keeps going out of rhythm and they teamed up saying i had to get it looked at as its been 3 week >.> so i rang doctors up and the strangely got me in tonight...odd usually its a 3 week wait XD so then i rang vets to book Oz in as im going doctors he can suffer too and go vets XD ive booked him in for his jabs that were due in June, the receptionist said they still had a back log of jabs to do! id given them plenty of time too. But thought its best to get him done, what with winter coming up, i want him to be his healthiest. sadly i still wont be able to go in the room with him.....

Head of science came to see me and asked if i was ok as i had had 2 days off last week

 i told him im ok and getting looked at, he said if i want to talk or if i need help he was there :)

I had my pain clinic telephone call

she told me how well i was doing and that i am prescribed to take more Zapain if i wanted to (same amount as chris all along) i just hadnt understood my dosage. so yay i can take double what i have been! but i wont, not unless i NEED to. she said i need to relax more like do more stuff to relax me and have chill out time. even if it is just breathing exercises or craft work.

i finished up at school, somehow

got home and sat with mum and Oz with a brew, he snored on the sofa....honestly

then i did 45mins of yoga not that i could be bothered to even get off the sofa! but somehow did it

I cut some fabric out to make 2 more masks for jack, its only the backing fabric and the elastic and the wire but gave me something to do

after dinner i went doctors and yeah nothing to worry about it, just stressed and anxious he said its ectopic heartbeat and should go in 3 months, i could have blood tests if i wanted to but i said i was fine. and i left, then came home to put pyjamas on, now gonna get my lad

tomorrow is school

should be ok, then when i come home i make wrap a few things up that have sold on ebay

Jack's first sleep over here

 Evening

So yesterday I didnt do too much in the morning

I did a very short walk with mum and then I came back and showered, mum took me to the hair dressers as i didnt feel up to driving, it was lovely to see my hairdresser again ^^ She gave me a good hacking too i feel shes really taken a fair bit off and shaped it much better, she gave me some layers too cus i told her i didnt want my hair long and shapeless so yeah she knows what shes doing i leave it with her and im always pleased

I got back and had lunch started making mum and dad a new face mask as they wanted to try one i have made instead of the shop ones 

 then mum dyed my hair

i was shocked at the colour cus its been a long while since its been such a bright strong colour

its like reddy orange, i should take a photo really 

i love it tho

so i had to go rinse that off, so it was back to the shower for me -_____-

then Jack turned up just as I had finished drying my hair

i opened the door and shouted RED he was like "nah thats ginger" XD

So we spent the remainder of the afternoon together

we didnt go anywhere, we were planning on looking at beds together but i didnt feel up to it

we did a short walk which tired me out but i thought it would be nice for jack to walk by the bungalow just to keep his spirits up about it 

i made dinner, we fussed Oz and yeah we didnt do much and I said to him

"sorry we havent done a lot"

he said "Jo we dont need to do something every weekend, all the time. sometimes its nice to just have an easy weekend. besides the last weekends have been so busy what with moving out its been nice to actually relax and recharge"

so i didnt feel too guilty

we got the bed ready for the night

basically involving taking every plush off the bed and in a pile (more like mountain) in the corner of my room, and i had my quilt + 2 blankets + a pillow for Jack

and we made it work, it was strange, i dont share that bed XD

I didnt sleep too bad actually much to my surprise and Jack slept pretty well

so it went well

Then today

we got up at 8am and i made us breakfast - cereal and tea XD

then we had a pamper session, so I used some facial products on us, Jack is usually up for anything XD he was new to face packs and face sheets so yeah, and he let me cut his eye brows as they were so long in places they just needed taming, i didnt shape or wax then just thinned em out a bit which he was grateful for. he enjoyed it all then had a shower.

we did a short walk and bumped into rob and mia taking the dogs for a walk :)

then i had a rest on the bed after lunch

then we sat outside in the actual sunshine with the pets and had a brew which was nice as Oz loves jack so he was showing off and getting excited it was quite sweet really

then it was pretty much time for jack to catch the bus and tram home but he helped put my bed straight before he left :) 

when he left i had my dinner and since then looked for fabric online cus jack was thinking of buying masks online as he knows i dont like making them but i told him NO i will make him some :)

mum and dad have since worn their masks i made and said how much better they are and how they look better too  ^^ so i ordered jack some fabric he wanted science masks but ive gone for a space fabric and then a book fabric so yeah got those to do at some point

now i will get stuff ready for school and might do some drawing

then sit with Oz then do my nails :3

so ive had an easy weekend, it would have been a very boring weekend of recovering over this virus without jack being here so i am grateful for him coming over i have to say

i told him im coming work unless im like death and just see how i go

Ended up having another day off....

 Evening~~

So last night I went to bed, and I could not sleep

I ached so so much I was in tears

I got up at 11:30pm and took more pain killers, had cereal and climbed back to bed

still could not sleep the pain was awful everything hurt, my wrists, my chest - areas i dont usually suffer with just full on hurt. So I got up and overdosed. Was tempted to take a sleeping tablet but with overdosing and my dodgy heart I decided it was best I didnt take them if i actually wanted to see the next day. But my thoughts took a dark turn. I thought about overdosing i thought about self harm it was just bad. I made the decision at 2am that I wasnt going to attend school so I left a note to my parents to not wake me in the morning

This morning I woke up at 8am, I had already texted jack at 1:30am saying i wont be in

im suppose to ring school before 7:30am to say i not coming in

it was 8am and i couldnt give two craps if it was late i still rang in

its why i get jack to call for me cus its on time but the woman was like "Jo needs to ring in herself" so i  did cus shes mardy but it was not on time XD

I spent my morning in pyjamas doing nothing, mum went to see her friend. She was worried about leaving me but I said I was totally fine. I just went on my laptop for a bit

she came home and i said I wanted to do something for myself instead of just suffering

so we dyed eye lashes and eyebrows. I bleached my eyebrows first to blond then I dyed them dark brown and my god theyre so dark!! I have eyebrows i am not used to it! I usually bleach them light cus i hate them dark but i plan on dying my hair red tomorrow and i thought brown would go better than blond.

I then did a face pack, had a shower then did a face sheet which was very nourishing i tell you

then I went to bed, got up for food, went back to bed

then I did a bit more of the drawing i am working on

helped with dinner a little bit

then Jack video called me which was nice of him

he looked tired bless him but he had been to help out at scouts as well so i think that tired him out as he didnt have to cover too much for me today luckily. He just told people i had returned to work too early and pushed myself too much. He also said he had an moany email from the woman in charge of absences moaning that i had called in too late. balls to her. So cus jack is my line manager he got the blame for it XD He insists on seeing me tomorrow. he offered to come stay tonight with me but i told him it was a lot for him to do and to stay home. I am unsure what I will be up to tomorrow but he insists on coming over, think he needs the space from his family XD

we said if i am able we would go look at beds so we know what to order and such when the time comes which will be a good thing to tick off.

and he will have his first sleep over here

we will be sharing my single bed so we shall see how it goes, i have shared it before, its not the most comfortable thing to do so we shall see how it goes anyway.

managed school, Jack was grouchy without me XD

 Otsukarare~

I slept pretty well last night apart from waking up at 5:30am and then I decided to get up at 5:45am cus I had had enough of laying there so began my day really

I actually felt pretty good this morning much to my surprise, I thought I was gonna feel rough

I got Oz out this morning but he had no time for me this morning, wouldnt settle or anything so midway through my breakfast I kicked him outside and he instantly seemed happier >.> just clearly didnt want me this morning!

I got to school this morning and had a txt from jack 'gonna be late' 

turns out he put his pyjama top back on after his shower as its comfier than our uniform, only he forgot to get dressed, walked to the tram stop in his pyjama top (under his coat) realised and then had to walk home then go catch the tram XD good job he didnt actually get on the tram. Idiot. he's always half asleep in the mornings

School went ok, no practicals for me, think they are all kicking off next week so i dont think i even have any tomorrow. so another quiet day for me tomorrow. I passed the day ok, I flagged a bit after lunch but picked up once I had pain killers. 

Julia and then Hannah told me that Jack had been grouchy at work yesterday XD aw he misses me and it clearly shows. Hannah says she stayed out of his way XD He was ok today and happy to see me, he gave me a couple of hugs ^^ he wants to see me this weekend anyway

think we will look at beds maybe this weekend as we will need one

I got home, Oz was too busy to see me, he was happy outside so i had a brew with mum and pain killers and cereal. Yeah topped myself up ^^ i felt better for it then did 40mins of yoga which felt good to do actually. I didnt have the energy for a walk or dance but needed to do something for my muscles and joints

a few things have bids on, on my ebay which is good ^^

https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/lolas-lil-wonderland/m.html?item=303687855083&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2562

I might do some more on my drawing tonight, get the outlines done maybe?

tomorrow is friday! then freedom!

i just hope I can get through the day!

my dull day off sick

 Evening

So today I had the day off

I slept like a log all the way through the night waking up at 7:30am

I had a dream that someone had stolen Flump and I found the guy who stole him, he owned a market and i broke into his storage and took Flump back, made sure to show the guy I had robbed Flump back then he started chasing me, which is when I woke up XD

My god today was soooo dull

I am unsure how I even managed to pass the day!

I did 40mins of very slow yoga this morning, simply to help my achy joints

had a shower

and rested really, I was back in bed at 11:30am for 2 hours

after my lunch mum suggested I see what's what

so I took my temperature which was 35.4 so that was lower than 'normal'

my blood pressure was 105/72 so that was low too

body of a corpse XD

I wasnt concerned, I suppose it just shows I have some sort of virus

I checked in with Jack throughout the day to see how he was

he said it was busy but he was coping and he had covered for me ^^

he asked if he could call me when he got home, and i said it was allowed XD

Mum took me for a walk for 30mins, just did a slow walk on none hilly areas as i was quite done in just doing a simple walk but needed to get out for some air you know?

Then once I was home I looked at home stuff, and then started doing a bit of digital drawing

didnt get far but it is a start and gave me something productive to do

Jack rang me after he had got home

he video called me

and i dont know but he just didnt seem his usual happy self, all week i feel he has been a bit off but im putting it down to the fact he is at his mums and not in his flat maybe?

i will talk to him this weekend hopefully and see how he is

I felt hungry and couldnt wait for my dinner 

i was happy eating it but once eaten i felt really sicky and off

mum had made cake and i cant face it right now but my god i am determined to get a piece down me! i am not missing out on cake!

I got my stuff ready for school as I plan on going tomorrow!!

even if i can not get through the whole day I plan on doing the day

jack said the first period is cancelled due to something or other so no lessons to have a mad dash to get ready first thing at least. He also said there has been a 2nd confirmed case in year 11 so head of science has said on A-level get any equipment/practicals now. We are giving nothing out to the other years apart from textbooks, which is quite sad really. But hey less work for us technicians!

so tomorrow shouldnt be hectic so I plan on  giving it a go~

I dont feel too bad, just very exhausted, achy and sicky. My heart is still beating out of rhythm and i  am unsure why. I will do blood pressure and temperature again later

a day off already

 Evening

I slept really well last night I was really tired tho

but when i woke up this morning i felt poorly, like more than my usual illnesses

i ached and felt sick and weak

but i was determined to get on with the day, so I got up and began the day

and i did start to feel ok

got to school and had loads of running around to do

just a mad morning really

after an hour of running around i had a quick sit down but my heart wasnt beating properly i felt weak and shaky and a bit dizzy so i told jack

he made me a sweet cup of tea and got some biscuits out my locker and told me to sit and rest

i got up and did a bit more work but just didnt feel that good

it hurt to carry things and my legs ached from walking

i told jack, and by 10:30am i made the decision to go home as i worrying about fainting and not being able to drive home. Jack was obviously worried about me but i said i was ok

i got home a 11am and mum came home at 11:30am i had texted her to let her know i was coming home and stuff. I had told her before school i didnt feel well so she knew how i was feeling

she got me a drink and pain killers and took my temperature which was perfectly normal

i wasnt sweating or anything, despite being wrapped up in my bed

i just ache, weak, dizzy, headache and feel a bit sick

kinda like my normal symptoms but amplified 

so im not concerned its corona or anything, theres plenty of bugs going round school at the moment. I have no corona symptoms so im not gonna go get a test or alert school that i could have it as they would make me have a test and take 2 weeks off.

im hoping to be back at work on thursday

i know i wont be in tomorrow as i feel rotten tonight so i need another day to recover

basically i need a wasted day in bed which i am not happy about id rather be in work

today when i did get home i  pretty much slept for a few hours

sat downstairs and went on my laptop looking at home things really trying to design things in my head to do with the bungalow as i feel thats the most productive thing i could today

tomorrow i might sit and draw if i am able to

so yeah tomorrow i am home :/

im annoyed as i havent even been back a month yet and im already taking time off >.>

first case

 Evening

I couldnt sleep last night, I was in bed for 9pm after doing my nails, which im actually happy with this week~

but my heart kept beating out of rhythm which is has been doing for a good week or so now, but in bed last night it was really bad and i was only laying down! it has been doing it when ive ran around a lot and when i have just finished eating. I am not sure why my heart is doing it but i dont like it but i am sure it will soon pass

I was having very strange dreams/nightmares too about ghosts and it was really quite freaky. To say i dont watch ghost films ether

so i was quite tired this morning when i got up, I couldnt face breakfast my jaw really hurt, even just to eat dry cereal so i had a hot chocolate and a cup of tea and i quite enjoyed that for a change actually.

School was fine, wasnt too busy and i ended up doing a lot of computer work actually 

but yeah it was an alright day really

I felt jack was a bit out of sorts today

he missed his tram stop so had to get off at the next stop and walk to school - he simply wasnt paying attention. When I suggested looking at his emails to see if we had heard from the roofing people it took him til the 3rd time of me saying "we should check to see if they have messaged you" almost like he couldnt face it. He was tired from the weekend as he did do a lot over the weekend. and i dont know he just seemed a bit off like he was forcing his smile.

its a big change for him tho moving back home and losing his independence and living how he wants to, but i hope it wont be for long for him. 

i got home and sat with Mum with a brew as my Ozwald was too busy outside. He had been helping mum in the garden a lot she said today X3 and had enjoyed his time outside bless him.

I got up and went for an hours walk as it was such a lovely evening then came back and had my dinner then i was looking at housey stuff online. ordered a bunny lamp for our bedroom-to-be and also a rug of a kitty sleeping for infront of the fire in the living room

its little random things i keep finding and liking, it will make the bungalow feel like home in no time

tomorrow

school really, got nothing major on just a few easy practicals

we have our first confirmed positive case of corona virus tho

so only matter of time before more people catch it and the school closes, but we shall see~

im not worried anyway. my brother keeps saying it will be me to bring it into the house, like i would intentionally do that >.>

about it really just hope i sleep tonight!