2 hours straight of cleaning

 Evening

I didnt have to get up again but my god did I wake up loads...Jack said he woke up a lot. But he was thirsty  I said it was cus he had a load of salt before bed. It was a lot to eat - burgers fries waffle milkshake

I woke up at 8:30am anyway, Jack had left the bed. The bed was a mess. Looked like a war zone XD

as we ate breakfast jack suddenly got up and ran to the patio door as a cat just jumped on to the fence but didnt even get time to bring its self fully on to the fence as Jack startled it. We couldnt see Oz in the garden but I thought I would go see where hes at anyway. He was in the garage totally spooked, he obviously knew all about that cat. So I had the job of rounding up my scared rabbit. Hes terrified, he wants to come to my arms but just scared. I eventually get him, bring him inside for cuddles then gave him his morning carrot to eat with us whilst we finished off breakfast. He was a lot happier after that. Havent had a cat attempt the garden for months now. But still scares him, even if they dont get fully on the fence.

This morning I did a good 35min exercise video of weights, my muscles hurt!

then I went to dye my eyebrows and eyelashes

last time I did my eyebrows with the red dye I did it over my natural eyebrows, and it came out a nice colour but it did dye my skin a bit too and took like a full day to come off my skin.

This time, I bleached my eyebrows yesterday so they were quite blondy. 

And now......

I had freakin orange eyebrows!!! Like proper orange! and it has dyed my skin as well. I did my eyelashes which came out ok, a little purplish as they blue-black and I didnt rinse out the previous red in the tub and brush so it made purple. All in all, I look like a freakin clown! I kid you not I do look quite funny right now. I am hoping a day of cleaning my face and shedding skin naturally will calm the dye down off my skin and when my hair is red tomorrow it should blend better. As I have blondy ginger hair right now so they stand out A LOT. Yeah I do stupid things XD

I had a shower and then sat with a cup of tea and biscuit with Jack

I went on my laptop then had lunch, then made biscuits

then I went on a 2 hour straight cleaning patrol

god I was dead. I was cleaning windows and everything

but everywhere looks loads better and is all clean for when I go back to school as I certainly dont have the time and energy to do a big clean during school time.

Mum turned up just as I put the cleaning stuff away

we had a cup of tea and she brought me and jack 2 cakes each.

she was gonna go out for the day today but the weather looked crummy so they didnt go. So I said to mum to not be alone all day and come have a brew with me.

I then cut Jack's hair once she left then waited for him to shower then we had dinner

I fell asleep after dinner for a whole hour, I told Jack to leave me as I will take sleep when I can get it! I was woken by fireworks. Lots of fireworks.  What the hell!? but I guess next weekend is bonfire night so people are gonna be having them for the next few weeks I guess >.> all those poor stressed out pets :( they dont understand

so I went to go see my pet, see how he was and he was fine to be honest

I have brought him and the fireworks have died off anyway in fact its quiet out there now

Oz has been in an hour he looks so happy just laying with his feet kicked out

Tilly is doing well on her medication too, mum says she isnt squealing when going for a wee anymore which is good. Her meds finish over the weekend. We hope she doesnt have this problem again.

I am waiting for Jack to finish his gaming, he should only be another half hour. How the hell he sits for 4 hours straight without even standing up is beyond me. I know I could not sit there for that long. Physically and mentally 0.0

Then we will watch anime with hot chocolate ^^

tomorrow 

got bathroom to clean and Oz's cage, his cage isnt a total tip luckily

then I am gonna go over to mum's as shes dying my hair red for me, so I am having a shower and stuff there. Then I have the whole afternoon FREE!! Yes you heard me correctly, FREE

Jack is going cinema with Theo and I have nothing else to do but art

so I might be able to do some art

only done 30mins art all holiday TT^TT

get tomorrow off from socialising!

 Evening 

I slept bit better last night, didnt have to get up and stay up til midnight drugged up

It took me a while to actually get to sleep then I got up at 1am for a wee but slept from there, didnt have particularly nice dreams tho

This morning, I felt shattered, really did. like this week has caught up with me or something. I have been doing a lot lately and socialising almost everyday. Jack says I have been doing a lot and not allowing myself rest. I find rest so difficult....

I also felt quite low for whatever reason

So I decided to do some exercise in the hopes that it would get those endorphins aflowin'

I did a 47min exercise video that supposedly burns 600 calories but I cant see that myself

Then I had a bath, I was gonna shower but my muscles ached so had a hot bath which wore me out more! Mum turned up wanting her brew X3 so that was nice to see her for an hour

Then we had lunch, I flopped on the bed but didnt sleep. Then I went outside to plant more grass seeds. Then I had a brew and fruit loaf, laid on my bed and we went to Harveys

I took my leftovers and the boys had 5 guys. We ordered dessert and I finally got the ice cream I have been wanting, I really enjoyed it but got a bit of tummy ache from it. Worth it. Was well nice. What with doing the exercise video today I dont feel too guilty and filled with food thoughts ^^

we got back at 9pm and we are just with Ozwald now my sweet chunks. He helps with all the gardening and is loving the garden :)

tomorrow

no plans, not seeing anyone. perfect

Hope I sleep a bit better again~

finally saw Karen!

 Evening

Hey once again I was up til gone midnight and waking up for a wee and woke up at 7am! Yes I hate my life TT^TT I just want sleep

I felt like death when i woke up, I left Jack to sleep til 8am

he helped me get a stew on

I got ready to see Mia

We went for an hours dog walk which is never too strenuous as dogs constantly stop to sniff and pee. But I came in sweating, dripping in sweat. I stripped off at the front door dabbing myself with kitchen towel. I was dripping and felt grim so I did in fact go for a shower. I felt amazing after my shower *0*

Then had a cup of tea with Jack and Oz, went on my laptop to do admin and then had lunch with Jack, had a half hour lay down then mum picked me up so we could go meet Karen

I havent seen karen in a whole year! We met at a garden centre cafe. She looked so well! She is doing so well, I always impressed by her bravery and positivity. How she stays so strong. It was lovely to see her and she treated us to tea and scone. My goodness the scone was amazing the best I have ever eaten. It was huge as well but just so perfect. We were only together for 2 hours but it was enough for me to sit there. I said to her next time we meet up she will have to come over and see my house ^^

We talked about all sorts and she wanted to know how my health was and I told her how difficult this year has been for me but how supportive Jack is and stuff. yeah it was a good catch up~

we left at 4pm and mummy dropped me off. She is popping over tomorrow after she finishes cleaning Maureen's house 7 doors down :)

I came in and had a cup of tea with my boys. Oz hasnt played out much today as its windy and he doesnt like it windy 

then I sat for a bit, did dinner, had a quick phone call with my brother

and now its exactly 7pm and I might, just might, be able to do some art??? can i? is it allowed??

Tomorrow

no plans ^^ thank bloody god

So art maybe, see mummy, got my ADHD form to fill in, yeah just see how the day takes me I guess

here is a photo from yesterday, the side of the old Abbey had been decorated with skeletons I loved it

My first date with Lizzi

 Evening

Once again i couldnt sleep and was up with Jack til 12:30

becoming a regular feature this >.> Im so sad with it, fed up, and tired

I woke up at 8:45am so I had a bit of a rush to get out the house, Jack helped me get my lunch together

it was only as I sat in the car at 9:45 did I think "never went to see Oz this morning"

I went to meet up with Lizzi, we were meeting up at an old Abbey

I could not believe how damn busy it was but they had got halloween things going off so there was just woman and children everywhere. No men XD men were replaced by push chairs I think. Kids were dressed up in costumes. Very busy

but we had a nice walk round, it was cold and the sun never came out sadly

after walking for an hour we got lunch from the car and found a quiet area with a bench which was nice as no one was around to bother us.

We talked about lots of different things. I am amazed how comfortable I feel round her and how easy she is to talk to. I would certainly go out with her again.

She said at 1:30 "We can call it here if you like Jo"

I said "yeah thats fine with me"

she said "yeah its gotten quite cold and your lips have turned blue".....seriously......on my first date with her I couldnt hide my corpse like nature!!! I got to my car and yes they were blue on the inner bit and purple on the outer bit. Jesus

I was frozen. Like frozen to my core. It was 9c with a wind. I only had a thin jumper on an a thin jacket. I really need to get a warmer jacket and FAST

On my way home I called in White Post Farm - where I got Oz from

I went into the pet shop, they had baby bunnies with blue eyes! its cute but also slightly weird looking

I looked at what I could spoil my bunny with. I brought him ANOTHER tube. But its shorter and padded, it has the same carrot pattern on it which is cute. I also brought him some flavoured popcorn as its the only treats I am giving him on his diet.

I came home and Jack made me a tea, I overdosed on pain killers after necking my tea and went to bed wrapped in my dressing gown. I needed to warm up

I woke up 90mins later and felt better. I didnt even talk to Jack or see Oz when I came in, it was simply drugs and bed.

So I got up and sat with Jack and Oz and showed Oz his new tube which he loved and didnt hesitate to go through <3 he was also VERY affectionate. Like he had really missed me. So that was lovely. All day he has been loving

I gave my mum a call

then made biscuits

then did dinner

after dinner laid on my bed, tired

had a bath and got Oz in again

so yeah a good day

another day of doing nothing for myself or art work.....

then I get txt off mia asking if I want to go for a dog walk tomorrow morning TT^TT I know I should really, so I said yes. Thinking 'thats my morning gone' then in the afternoon I am seeing mum and Karen as we havent seen her in a year. So thats my afternoon gone as well

another day without doing stuff for myself or art

but its fine I guess -______- 

i know really its best to see people and things but I am just sad as its almost time to go back to school and I havent done anything I said I would do. I ether have had people to see (people insist on seeing me when I am not at school XD) or I am simply shattered as I havent slept properly in weeks.

ughhhh

I just want to be in a coma for several days, wake up, do my art and eat sweet things. Then go back into my coma for rest and escape from pain and food thoughts

anyway

so tomorrow

walk with mia then seeing mum and Karen in the afternoon

I have my Thai curry to put on before I see Mia

hopefully I will wake up in time ><

will I sleep tonight I wonder? or maybe my body wants to see midnight again

calorie awareness

 Evening

Why can't I sleep TT^TT like seriously...what has gone wrong with my sleeping!?

I get to bed - shattered - lay there and lay there, then the aches kick in as I have laid there for too long and suddenly it feels like I am laying on concrete and so have to get up and then take pain killers, wait for them to work. Go back to bed and try again.

So Jack got up with me til 12:30 last night which is when we went back to bed again. Bless him he doesnt need to get up with me but he says he wants to be there for me. I woke up at 2am for a wee and again at 5am.....why is life so cruel T^T I got up at 8am. Oz was so happy to see me this morning he ran a circle in his cage it was so cute and he hasnt done something so energetic in ages XD

I got up and ready to go, left the house at 9:25am as I wanted to check TK MAXX for a warmer jacket. But they had nothing!!!! Things were ether too expensive or just straight up coat. I dont need another coat I just need a warm jacket!!! I did manage to buy my brother a christmas present tho. Mia met me at 10am in TK and she brought stuff for her dogs.

We went to pets at home from there, she brought the dogs more treats, we went to B&Q as she wanted wall paint. Then we went for a drink. I told her I was paying for everything as we havent been out together to celebrate her engagement. So I got us both a drink, her a sandwich and a cake. I went for a biscuit. My god there was loads of cakes but what I didnt realise in costa is that everything has the calories printed on it. I didnt know I was having that much of an issue with food once again that I care what calories are in things. I couldnt bring myself to eat a 400 cal cake. To be honest at this point I didnt want any cake or biscuit as all I could think about was the calories. But i didnt want to not 'take part' in eating with her so I brought a 230 cal biscuit. Which I didnt even enjoy as all I could think about was the calories I was eating and what I needed to do to burn them off.

at 12:30 I called it as I wanted to get home and have lunch and drugs. I was tired. Been out the house 3 hours and was done -______-

so I came home, ate and laid on the bed but of course I couldnt escape my pain in sleep as I no longer need sleep apparently!

I got up and sent mum a txt that she can come over for a chat and tea

we had tilly to discuss. Mum had taken tilly to the vets AGAIN this is the 4th time she has been in her 2 year life. Once again she is on antibiotics. She is squealing when peeing. AGAIN. The vet recommended that tilly has an ultra sound and an X-ray. She would need to be put to sleep and be at the vets for the majority of the day. This will of course give great stress to tilly. And to truffs who will be waiting at home alone.

I said to mum "even if you have this done, and she has got like bladder stones. We wont put her a through an operation. Or she might have cancer and if so she cant be operated on anyway. I wouldnt put her through it. I would cure her this time and might have to put her down next time"

"its a shame as shes lovely and healthy. But I cant have her cut up and then have to nurse her by myself. its too much, too stressful. But its hard to put a young pig down. I have to think they have had the best possible life tho. I have spoiled her rotten"

I feel we do this, we lose 2 pigs a year, not every year obviously but we do tend to lose them in pairs. So sad as Tilly is lovely and just lives to eat. Her world is food. Shes a simple soul.

we shall see I guess

I made meatballs for dinner in a BBQ sauce and put that on cobs for jack and melted cheese on too he said it was 'fucking amazing' yes he was happy and full XD i had my meatballs with sweet potato. It made enough for leftovers

then after dinner I did my science homework didnt need too much help with it ether. I just need to have more confidence in myself

Now I am gonna have a bath then see Oz

tomorrow

I am going out in the morning to meet with with Lizzi the art technician from school

first time seeing one another outside of school!

I am driving 40mins away to an abbey to walk round the lake there and have a picnic, so I am setting off just before 10am. Should be a nice day. Just tiring! I hope I can get some sleep ><

No watching explosive samurai before bed

 Evening

We started watching Sengoku Barara last night and I was laughing so much at all the over the top action and explosions, Jack found my reactions more funny to watch than the anime. He said as soon as it finished "yup we wont be watching that again before bed"

"what? why!?"

"look how excited youve gotten before bed. youre suppose to wind down and relax before bed but its got you all hyped up. We will watch this one at dinner time instead"

he did have a point, I felt quite awake ^^; I am immature 

I had another bad night, couldnt sleep and Jack got up with me til 12:30

I felt shattered, drained and in pain

Even then I kept waking up, I was on top of my bed sheets with a blanket but kept getting cold

I was tired this morning when I woke up at 7am but got up as I wanted pain killers

It was a long morning before we had to go shopping

shopping was fine but they had no fruit loaf TT^TT jo's daily treat....nothing.....:'(

we got back and unpacked, had a cup of tea and sat with Oz who was very happy and comfy

he was laying on his side licking his front paws being all cute

we left him whilst we did the soup as we couldnt bare to move him

After lunch I went to bed and slept for a good hour thank god as I was shattered.

I got up and asked Jack if we could go for a walk together so we went for a walk that lasted almost an hour. But I was a bit chilly in my hoodie, I got home and realised I have hoodies and coats no thicker jacket. Its not cold enough for a coat but hoodies are starting to feel too thin so I will keep my eyes open for something I guess ><

we got back and I had a cup of tea with Jack and Oz

then I had a very warm bath, I was a bit red when I came out

did dinner and had that whilst watching Sengoku Basara and still found it funny again to watch. Afterwards went to bed

jack was like "joooo dont go to sleep, you wont sleep tonight"

I said "Im not gonna sleep tonight anyway so I may as well grab sleep when I can"

he said "thats fair I guess" he went to game with Theo

I got up after half hour, quick power nap :) and now I with Ozwald

tomorrow

seeing Mia for a brew at a costa

personally I cant stand costa but she likes it, and shes been for a cocktail with all her friends and family apart from me. I dont drink I know but I would like to do something with her to celebrate her engagement so I thought id buy her a coffee and cake and she likes costa. I dont want to look like Im not bothered about her engagement. Also it would be nice to do something other than dog walk.

I hope to get my science homework done as well.

Left home alone all afternoon :3

 Konbanwa~~

I couldnt sleep last night, Jack got up with me and I took extra pain killers, had a biscuits and slept on top of my bed in the end. But I could get to sleep as Jack was snoring but he was struggling to breathe on his side so he had to sleep on his back - which makes him snore. I dealt with it as hes gotta sleep if hes not feeling well. I eventually got off to sleep

I woke up at 8am and left Jack in bed to rest as I wasnt sure what sort of night he had had

he got up at 8:45am

I was determined to get stuff done today. So I did a half hour exercise video - sweating buckets then went for a shower then went for a hair cut

it was nice to have a good tidy. then  I came in and had a brew with Jack, he had been gardening with Oz. After our brew we gardened together for half hour then had lunch

I then did a bit of my science work whilst Jack was still here

then when he left I was in bed and got a half hour shut eye

I got up and did some science work, had a brew and fruit loaf with Oz, science work, made biscuits, did my dinner, ate dinner and whilst washing up (normally Jack washes up but I was trying to tidy before he got home) Jack came home, I finished up cleaning and laid on the bed with him whilst he told me about his afternoon.

sounded like he had a lovely time with his friends, and he didnt txt me to check up on me ether, he says he was a little worried but was determined not to check on me. Honestly what I am I gonna do!? bless him XD my mum was txting me when she would be home and such in case I needed her....people worry about me ><;

I have booted him in the shower and I am doing my diary now. I need to have Oz in still

We are starting a new anime tonight as we finished Demon Eyes Kyo last night, which was ok to watch I guess. Next we are watching Sengoku Basara, Jack asked if we should have something different to samurai as DemonEyes Kyo is samurai but I was like "no I wanna see the same characters in a different plot!" XD thats literally what we are gonna be watching XD So yes Sengoku Basara season 1&2 which I watched when it first came out like years ago so I can't remember it.

I had to write the shopping list by myself as Jack hasnt been around to do it with me so I will get him to look at it after his shower in case I missed something or he wants to change a dinner plan

also I might clean the bathroom when he comes out too then wash my face.

tomorrow is food shopping, cooking soup and meat. Anything else I wanna do, maybe my science homework.....