Paddy over some meat

 Evening

I had a better evening routine and managed to fall asleep just fine~ I had set an alarm for 7:30am as I wanted to get up and out for food shopping. I passed mummy in the car leaving the first shop ^^

shopping was fine tho, we got back and unpacked and had a quick brew. Then I was cleaning Oz out, cleaned the bathroom, then helped Jack with the rockery outside and finally cooking my lunch time meat. All before midday. I was quite exhausted as I had literally been on the go none stop.

After lunch I went to lay down on my bed with Hammington for a hour, to come into the kitchen to find 3 meat flies on my meat....

I was fuming. Honestly I probably could have breathed fire on them. I got rid of them whilst ranting off. I threw my meat in the bin as I really didnt fancy it or wanted to spend my holiday poorly with germs. I felt like it was time wasted, money wasted, and I had eaten the smallest pieces - meaning only the big ones were left for waste T^T it was tasty too

So after that major paddy, I decided to look for a fruit loaf recipe online as I thought I would eat that for my lunches. I started making it only to realise that I never keep raisins or dried fruit in the house XD so ended up putting chocolate chips in it! God knows what its like. Whilst it was cooking I decided to go on my laptop. I ordered red hair dye! like ginger red not red red. I bought some earrings for Mia's wedding too.

After all this I noticed Jack had not left his computer chair for 4 hours. Not for a toilet or drink break. So I grabbed Mr. Hyperfixation and I told him everything he missed XD 

he was like "I literally cant leave you unsupervised can I? You've basically had a paddy over some meat, made a cake and ate cake mix for comfort food, and did some online shopping therapy"

I said "yeah basically. But I do feel better about it all now tho"

yup all this went off whilst he was upstairs gaming

I did dinner as I had the oven on from the cake so I may as well use the heat

Now I am letting my dinner go down then I think I will do some yoga. I feel like I need a stretch. Then it will be time for a bath etc. Jack told me to take it easy this afternoon. I dont think it went well...I suck at just SITTING.

I will sit and do my nails later tho

and tomorrow I dont really have much on? I did say if I feel up to it I would paint my porch door as I drew designs out for it today. 

Yes I am my own worst enemy...

tomorrow 

just maybe painting the door, thats it

Fun night in

 Evening

I didnt do my diary last night as Matt and Brandon didnt leave til almost 11pm! We had spent 4 hours+ talking and laughing, they had take away and I had korean noodles. But yes it was a great night! Me and matt are terrible XD brandon and jack sat on the sofa together just looking at the two monsters on the floor XD I laughed til I had tears, my stomach hurt, my cheeks ached, and my throat felt sore. I had been loud, hyper, immature and yeah it was great.

Once they left I thought I was gonna get a scolding from Jack because of my behaviour but no, he said he was really happy at seeing me really happy ^^

I was WIRED tho. My god. I knew I was not gonna sleep. I had a hot chocolate and sat quietly. Then we went to play pokemon in bed til 11:30pm and Jack turned his switch off and went to sleep instantly. i could no way sleep. So I was up. I text mum at 1am to say I was gonna be late getting up so I wont be around to go shopping first thing in the morning. I know her phone goes on silent after 10pm

I took extra tablets and I sleeping tablet. I went to bed at 1:30am

I woke up....10am. 10AM! jesus

Jack wondered if I was gonna wake up XD He had been up with Oz since 8am

I txt mum to say I was up but I couldnt face people today. i didnt want to go anywhere. She understood and I told her I would see her later.

As I sweated loads whilst I was being hyper last night, I did feel somewhat grim this morning. To be honest I would have showered at 11pm. i had sweated. So I decided to go on just dance for half hour til I was a sweaty mess and had a morning shower. I felt so much better for getting rid of that second layer of skin XD

After lunch I went to see mummy, I sat with truffs on my knee and she wouldnt stop licking my thumb XD so cute!

I came home and sat with Ozwald. Mum rang to say dad was doing a tip run, so we then had to gather alllll the stuff in the garage to take to the tip. But we had got it mainly together when we tidied the garage 2 weeks ago. Jack went to the tip with dad and I went on my laptop for a bit. 

I did dinner for when he got home, now I will go have a nice relaxing bath. I can not wait to smoother my face in steroid cream as my eczema is SO bad. I look like I have wrinkles but its because my skin is sore and very dry. medication sucks!

I will then do some digital work after my bath~

tomorrow

I am going food shopping in the morning, then cleaning Oz out. About it really

who night of rain, new game, 2 hours of shopping

 Evening

I couldnt sleep again last night, it was like I was wired. So I was up til midnight, took every drug I could as I just wanted sleep. I slept through the night. Jack woke me at 8:30am as I asked as I needed to get the stew on. He said he had been stressed single bunny parent with Oz and him wanting to go out the patio door into the rain and come back inside again -____- sounds like something loaf would do

So we got the stew on anyway. I then asked Jack "just what are we doing today?"

as he hadnt got any plans I decided we would go 15mins away to the next town for a lot of stuff we needed get and needed to do. So thats what we did.

I went bank to get rid of a cheque and some old notes I found

he went to entertainment store to trade in a lot of stuff, I got a new JustDance game

we went supermarket for a few bits we can only get from that store, I found a pumpkin blanket in there and also a guinea pig one!! Never have I seen guinea pig print anything on fabric! Jack was like "put it in the basket!" He understood ^^

I then drove us to the other end of the high street as we were now buying heavy items and it was raining still (rained alllll through the night)

We went into one store and I picked up home stuff - soaps etc

next store - human soap and washing soaps

wilkos - for charcoal and nail varnish

I was soooooooo done 

It had been 2 hours since we left the house! I was hungry as it was 12:40. 

We had lunch, unpacked the stuff then mummy came over around 2pm. I gave her the blanket she was THRILLED she loved it! I got a photo from her as soon as she got home of it laid  out on her bed bless her. I told her "its not for the guineas to pee on" she was like "oh no! theyre not going near it!" XD

Mummy stayed for an hour then when she left I knew I needed rest. I was exhausted. So I sat watching videos on youtube mainly about Japan, educating myself. 

I did the dinner which was good~

Then, even tho I was tired, I did some exercise. I didnt want to have another day off exercise. So I went on my new justdance4 game. I was on it 20mins. Of course out of the 40 songs I knew only 2. Yup I never know the songs! however cus it was made in 2012 - think that was when Jack was 19 years old aka in his prime and going clubbing XD he knows like all the songs on there! XD I was only gettting 4 stars instead of 5 so I replayed the first dance I went on, I wanted to challenge it again as it had mugged me off. I went from 8000 points 4 stars to 11000 points 5 stars XD I was too competitive I know ><

I went for a bath

Jack came in...."its wednesday today isnt it?" I said "yeah" thinking 'your point being?'

"I have gaming tonight at 7"......

I said "oh my god! I totally forgot!!"

So had Jack, and it was 7pm ^^;

He was a bit late but its only with his brother and his brothers friends so I am sure it was ok. I was then just left with Oz, who is enjoying coming in and out the house. I dont know what we will do when the weather changes and I cant have the patio door open anymore.....that was Jacks issue this morning. He had the door shut due to the rain but Oz was literally pressed against the door wanting to go out.

what will we do if hes pressing his nose again the door from the outside wanting to come in!? I wont be able to bare it and I will just be scooping him up and bringing him in ><;

I really should do a bit of digital work before bed. I have so much digital work to do....

tomorrow

not seeing Mum tomorrow and I have to pace myself tomorrow as in the evening we are having Brandon and Matt over for take away and a catch up. I need energy for that. I plan to exercise and bath before they come over.

actual rain

 Evening

Just as I was waiting for Jack to come out the bath so we could watch anime and stuff, my brother showed up at my craft room window on his bike and stood talking to me for 40mins I offered for him to come in or have a drink but he had his own drink and said he was too warm. It was good to see him but it very much got me all hyped up from laughing so I needed to wind down a lot before bed and it took me a while to actually sleep ><

I woke up to find Jack had got up at 7am for Oz I was up at 8am

I wasnt sure what we was doing today, my body felt very tired and heavy but I had done a lot yesterday. I did do a fair amount again this morning, I am my own worst enemy 

I patched up holes in the wall in the garage, watered the garden, looked for stuff online for mia's wedding, talked out in the garden with Jack future garden designs as to where we are going next with it, sorted out stuff for the charity bag. Ah i was tired.

we had lunch then Jack went to go meet his sisters in the city centre he never mentioned to me about me coming cus he could see I was tired -_____- 

He said before he left that I needed to rest or do some art. I said "I always feel guilty and bad doing my art like its not productive enough" he said "think about it like this, you do exercise for your physical health. Do art for your mental health, its just as important" hes right but its still not easy for me ><

he went out leaving me on the bed with Hammington, I couldnt sleep tho

so I got up and made melon bread again, I wanted another go at it.

It took over an hour as I had made a lot of mess and washing up. I couldnt bare for Jack to come home to find the kitchen a state and a load of washing up. So i hoovered up, wiped down the surfaces and washed up. I was knackered. Mum turned up just as I was putting them in the oven.

She stayed for 90min and I ate a melon bread and it was soooo good I am gonna have another later whilst theyre still fresh.

I sat talking to Jack who came home just before mum left

I decided to do some exercise before dinner, my body was tired but I still felt the need to exercise. I started and after 5 mins I could tell it wasnt happening. My body needed rest. So I stopped and went for a bath.

We did the salad and after salad I really should do some drawing ^^; 

Oz has chosen to play outside in the rain

yes RAIN!

I havent seen rain in such a long time. UK has draught and the field near my house caught on fire on sunday due to the heat! So we didnt get the thunder storms last night like the weather peeps said nor did we get a full day of rain weve just had rain here and there. But nice to see, smell and listen to rain.

I will have to dry that loaf off before I take him to bed. I can tell hes missed the rain as usually he wants to go to bed by now and instead hes chosen to go out in the rain!

tomorrow

not sure yet what we are doing, we might pop into the next town over for a few bits but depends on the weather as its suppose to hammer down.

oh and yes I got a telling off from Jack for not resting and doing far too much whilst he was out the house. He never shouts at me, he just gives me a bit of a lecture about resting and being kinder to myself ><

I got a new chair

 Evening

I couldnt sleep. I was tired but it was like I was wired. I was just there laying wide awake listening to thoughts. I got up in the end and Jack got up with me. Think we probably fell asleep around midnight.

I woke up to find jack was up and had got Oz out ^^

This morning I started to get bits out to make mia a wedding card, then at 10:15am I went out to do some errands. Jack offered to join but it would mean shutting  the house up when it was hot. So I chose to go out by myself. Got my medication and posted Miho's baby presents.

I then called in at home to see mummy, and I had a cup of tea with her which was nice

then I came home to my Jack for lunch

I went to go make Mia's card which was challenging me I have to say. I just kept screwing up! I think cus I wanted it to be good. Usually people keep their wedding congratulation cards so I wanted mine to be decent you know. I walked away from it to cuddle Hammington and after half hour the door went. My new craft room chair had arrived! jack built it for me ^^ I have a new fancy ass chair~~~its pink! It cost £120. All my chairs in my life have been cheap £30 or under. This is my first really nice chair. So why am I still sitting on my old one whilst I type this?....

I finished mia's card then I went to make dinner which was bomb. So damn good.

I then cleared up my mess in my craft room, to say I was making ONE card, there was mess all over the floor and desk ^^;

I now need to do my work out, and luckily tonight it is a lot more bearable it only reached 27c today and I dont feel its too hot tonight. I will still need the fan on tonight but it wont be horrendous like it has been. 

Jack's Mum's friend died this morning. I cant believe how quickly that happened. Jack said he would go to the funeral. I had picked up from the post office a will for me and jack as we need to do that really. Cus of Jack's surname, if he dies, all of  his assets would go to his dad. His dad would have more of a right to jack's everything just because they share a surname. 

tomorrow

it's jack's sister's 17th birthday so I guess we will need to go over and give her her present! I hope she likes the card I made her

Tonight it is suppose to have thunder storms like massive thunder storms. I hope Oz and the girls will be ok ><

He was off his face

 Evening

So last night I delivered my Jack off at Harvey's for their night out. I offered to take my phone off silent for Jack in case he missed the last bus at midnight but he said he would be, he usually is. My phone goes on silent mode at 9pm so I dont have it going off.

I came home and made sure Oz was ok, I put him to sleep eventually, I did some drawing, I painted my nails and then played pokemon in bed. Yeah normal evening for me

At 1:30am I woke up for a wee and thought I would check my phone to see if Jack was on his way home

I had 14 notifications....

13 messages from Jack

1 missed call at 1am from my family house phone....

WHAT THE HELL HAD GONE OFF!?

I read Jack's messages, all saying "help" "lost" and some that weren't english....

I rang him immediately, my heart pounding and my stomach had dropped to the floor. He eventually picked up, everything was flying through my mind at this point.

He was off his face.

He said he had got lost but think he knew where he was? I asked him where he was. He couldnt tell me. I asked him for what he could see. What he described I worked out he is at the local shops. So he was almost home. I offered to pick him up and he said no he would walk.

I put down the phone and texted mum just in case she was awake worrying about Jack

I could feel a panic attack happening

I couldnt bare the wait

just what had happened? why hadnt he got a taxi? had he walked from the city centre?? 

I stood in my short pyjamas at the top of my road at 1:40am waiting for him to appear at the bottom of the hill and he was there but running...Jack doesnt run. But instant relief flooded through me. A part of me wanted to rage off at him in the street but I was filled with too much relief and gratitude 

he barely spoke walking to the house

We got inside and I could tell he was plastered.

He went straight to the bathroom, leaving me waiting for an explanation. At this point I cried

I had not been breathing properly like my throat had constricted and the adrenaline had passed as well so tears came.

He came out the bathroom and I asked "did you miss the last bus?" he said "must have done"...

what sort of an answer is that? hes not usually like this when hes drunk

I said "why didnt you get a taxi?" he said "thats a good question"...

this was very weird behaviour. He said "I think your mum called me" 

I wasnt gonna get anything out of him tonight and he was very affectionate. Not like forcing anything just showering me with love, Jack is an emotional drunk. I said we should get to bed. Where he cuddled me - in the heat - and kissed me head lots, I moved away from his arms and stuff cus I knew that any minute this guy was gonna pass out. And thats what happened

I had to calm myself down and try and sleep.

I woke up at 8am and saw to Ozwald, I let him play outside. I stayed out the way of jack and let him sleep. I was doing jobs, I can do anything as he sleeps so deep.

My mum rang me and filled me, she said jack had rang the house phone at almost 1am saying he was lost and had no clue where he was.  My family had all had a drink and were asleep. They couldnt drive to get him due to drink and mum was asking for landmarks and worked out where he was, he was somewhere near our village but not quite there. Mum talked him through the way home and she could tell he wasnt right but kept him talking as she was worried he would pass out in the street. She asked if his drink had been spite but i hadnt spoke to him yet. I apologised. But she she was just happy he was home safe. We were both wondering if at this point he had walked two hours from the city centre to home. Its a long walk. its 40mins on a bus for gods sake

I was then doing my skin care and I heard Jack and went into him to find him on the floor crouched over, I thought he was throwing up. No. He was looking for Oz under the bed XD Oz had come through the patio, through the lounge, through the hall and into the bedroom. Jack had woke up to a bunny under the bed XD

I sat him down and he looked rough with pink eyes. Last night his pupils were big. I asked him to explain his evening. He had little memory....he couldnt remember anything. So I worried if he had been spite. it was like he was on drugs. But then he said "matt had been pouring my drinks so I wasnt watching how much I was actually having" he took over about half a bottle of gin. Which I think he polished off in 3 hours and what with 30c heat. It didnt go down well.

I looked after him, made him a breakfast cob of bacon and egg, got him coffee and a paracetamol and gave him comfort.

Then Matt txt 'did jack get home ok last night?'

so i told him what I knew

he then filled us in on the evening

Jack had got very drunk at Harveys, was being difficult about getting a taxi into the city from Harveys. matt had given water at Harveys to sober him and brought him bottles of water once they were in the city. jack was turned down from places for being too drunk and thrown out of another place for being too drunk...Harvey picked a fight with a crack head (harvey is a gentle nerd he goes aggressive when drunk but would not stand a chance in a fight) Matt and brandon then tried to put Jack in a taxi home with Harvey but he wouldnt have it, Harvey took a bus home but before all this matt got headbutted in the face by the crack head as he was trying to pull harvey away.

They put Jack on a bus to our village, not the bus we use but it would get him near home.

At some point drunk jack realised this is not his route so got off the bus, thats when he went to ring me but called my house phone a.k.a. my family phone. Thats where mum came in. So he hadnt walked all the way home thank god but far enough he must have been knackered. 

Theo asked me how he was and if he got home ok. he had had too much

hes spent the whole day on the sofa. 

I am just grateful he wasnt mugged or anything and he did get home. jesus jack.

I have done chores today, seen to Oz, went to my parents house and told them Jacks story. My dad was smirking the whole time as hes had loads of drunken action in his days. 

I told him he owes me for worrying me and making me almost have a panic attack >.>

His mum rang him saying her best friends husband has had a stroke and has a massive brain tumour. She was upset. That happened in the night hes only in his 40s. Shes just rang again at 8pm saying hes being taken off life support. That escalated! poor guy. He has a wife and 2 young kids. awful. Jack didnt reveal his emotions to me. I dont know how he feels about it. He knows the guy very well tho.

Its a bit cooler tonight thank bloody god. Its been 32c again -____________-

Tomorrow its warm again then in the evening it says the whole night will be thunder storms! 

Oz learned a lil trick

 Good Evening

Just who is sleeping in this heat -_____- I got up for 2 wees yet again. I think its cus I am drinking my weight each day and peeing for Britain. It is annoying. Also I kept hearing things and getting up to patrol the house. Doesnt take much to wake me I sleep lightly. There was nothing there. I think the house just makes sounds when its cooling down and it just sounds weird with a fan on all through the night. I wish we had AC.....

I woke up at 6:15am. I did contemplate having that extra hour of sleep but then I thought about Oz, who has been having a rough a time as all of us, he hasnt been able to do much as its too hot and he certainly hasnt been able to play outside. So I got up and let my bunny roam outside in the lovely cool air. There was a thin layer of mist outside the sun hadnt managed to burn through yet so it was lovely outside. Why couldnt it stay like that. 

At 7am I woke Jack up who also hadnt slept well. We are all so tired in the UK were trying to sleep in 28c heat.....it did reach 33c today. We got ready to go out shopping and left the house just after 8am. I bumped into mummy in the shop as she had got out early to beat the sun. I ran over to her not carrying who sees and gave her a cuddle. 

we did our shopping and were home for 8:55am~

My mission was just open everywhere cus we obviously have to shut every window when we leave the house and man is it hot! Jack unpacked. I bought Oz inside.

Oz tho...my Oz has learned a new trick.

He was inside and I was just sitting there thinking "where is he?" I felt sure I hadnt seen him run out the room he sometimes likes doing >.> so I checked the lounge. no rabbit. I then checked the whole house TWICE. No rabbit

where the hell was he!?? I didnt panic as logically he couldnt have left the premises. I didnt know where else to look and then I looked outside into the garden through the patio window to watch him through himself on the stones in happiness in the shade...he had gone OUT the patio door. He has never done this before. In a way I am not surprise as I put him out that door enough times. Hes finally realised that he too can use the door as we leave it open whilst its hot and were home. Its right next his toilet area in the lounge.

I went outside to fuss him and I thought I would show him he can go back inside. I then went inside with him and sat by the door, he then, on his own terms - went in and out twice and then licked my nose as if to say "I understand now!" He understood how to use the door. Bless him. So yes after that he decided he would take himself inside or outside. But he did decide to stay inside as the sun had some on the garden and temperature was hot so I am glad he was being sensible. 

We had lunch and at 2pm someone came to see us about our pavement and driveway as we want the pavement lowered and drive half done - dad insists we get it done courtesy of his wallet. Hes a bit obsessed with it...

I havent been able to get motivated with anything today. Like I think its cus of the damn heat but yeah I can not get going with anything and cant think straight. Its hot and I am tired. Im too hot to sleep in the day as Oz has our only fan in the lounge....

I looked at wedding card congratulations ideas cus I want to make Mia and Rob one.

I did a 20min work out and sweated to death it wasnt even that hard.

I then did dinner right away, ate it, and had a bath cus I needed to get Jack out the house. He was going out with Harvey and a load of friends. I thought about going but nah no point. I think it does Jack to unwind without me there. I am only a liability really arent I. Besides I cant drink and I hate loud and busy places! So I dropped him off at Harveys. He is catching the last bus home which is at midnight. I have told him when he gets home if he feels the need to have a shower, then to have one. Its still mega hot out, he will be round a lot of people in places its bound to get sweaty and I rather him be clean in bed then gross and dirty not to mention hes getting a bus from harveys into the city then one home. It might help him wind down for sleep too. So I imagine I will be up in the night. But it cant be helped. It is a joint birthday thing for him and Harvey and I want him to enjoy himself.

As for what will I do tonight? I have put some yogurt and chocolate drops in the freezer to get cold not frozen for a bit, I have eaten loads this week T^T but all well~ I will do my nails too and hopefully do some drawing ><

but god I hope I get some damn sleep. I woke up so much last night. Need sleep....

Tomorrow

I am making Jack his hangover breakfast~

I need to clean the bathroom, and cut up a load of pork shoulder and marinate it to cook on monday~