I am going out the house tomorrow!

 Evening

I slept ok til 3:45am and I woke up needing a wee, my mouth tasted like death so I brushed my teeth too and of course I felt like death so I was up then. I was just up.

I decided to stay up to wake Jack up around 6am as it always nicer being woken with a cuddle than a loud alarm right. so I did that and we cuddled up in bed for 15mins. Making sure not to fall asleep!  I had already eaten my breakfast but I sat with Jack as he ate his breakfast. Then as soon as he left for school I went to bed til 9am

I got up and did some painting, I keep working on it in bits and pieces and it is coming along~

I didnt do much else with my morning, kinda monged out online I guess. I find it all so boring. I can not wait to leave the house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I decided I would do some yoga for half hour then rest then walk to mummy's after my lunch. That short walk was ENOUGH. I stayed for an hour and had a sit with the girls which was nice and then mum kindly drove me home as I didnt feel up to walking and it was raining by this point. 

It rained heavy for 3 hours! jeez. And its the start of Goose Fair, first time since covid I think? its on longer and earlier this year anyway. I NEVER go. In fact my dad would give me and my brother money to NOT go. He said it was a rip off. Not to mention the sheer amount of pick pocketing that goes off there. I think he was giving us money to not go to keep us safe. Its in a shady part of Nottingham too but sooooooooo many people go. Its a shame day1 is pouring down tho. Feel sorry for them. But it made the traffic worse for Jack coming home.

I had a sleep this afternoon for an hour after mums

and did some more painting

had a bath before dinner, so we are gonna eat dinner in our pyjamas! I love having dinner in my pyjamas theres something so comforting about it ^^ Just hope I dont sweat too much eating Korean noodles ><"

Jack has got gaming tonight so i will miss him tonight but I am glad hes doing it as he hasnt gamed for over 2 weeks due to mias wedding and a funereal last week

tomorrow

I am hoping to LEAVE THE HOUSE and do food shop. Id like to do more than that but honestly I just gotta see how I am feeling

Cut off is 30th October

 Evening

I slept ok to be honest. I didnt get up with Jack tho as I felt I needed more sleep but also getting up makes my day even longer. So I woke up at 9am

I had a splitting headache and felt tired. Yup STILL getting better. But getting better nonetheless~

I didnt do much with my morning. Maybe a bit of painting but nothing much

I went to bed in the morning, had lunch, went to bed. Then woke up to mum coming in XD

she came to check on me and I appreciate that so much.

I managed a bit of yoga

I made another cake

I did dinner and had MEGA painful stomach after my food. Like was instantly in a ball on the floor after I finished eating. My stomach was hurting during the end of my meal but I was determined to finish my food. Jack warmed my hot bag for me and I put that on my stomach. Honestly felt like a rhino just charged into my stomach. awful. The Palo diet is looming on the horizon. I am wondering if I have leaky gut again. I cant bare it. I said to Jack the cut off is 30th october - the end of october half term. I aint ruining my half term!

That was my day

nothingness

I wanna go to work but sound like a load of crap right now. Jack seems wound up with it all.

whipped out my winter pyjamas

 Evening

I had to get up til 11:15pm last night to take pain killers and have a hot chocolate and cake! But then I did manage to sleep. The alarm went off and I thought "balls to this I aint getting up!" but then I remembered - its wednesday - I have to get up so Jack can change the bed and I need to put the slow cooker on TT^TT but once Jack left for school I crawled into bed whilst the washer was on so I didnt have to listen to that.

I did a bit of painting when I got up but I found it a bit hard to motivate myself cus I am still a corpse....

mum came to see me before lunch and took me out for the short walk. It was cold and windy so I didnt like the weather but did feel better for getting some air. We had lunch then she left. I went to bed for a bit. Then watched youtube videos, and ate a lot. I havent eaten much last 2 days and I made up for it today.

I havent done much else really. I did a bit of stretching cus I felt tight. I cant wait to be better. I am hoping to be back on form for the weekend

Me and Jack had korean noodles for tea, we were both panting, sweating and red lipped. If you walked in on us youd think we had been getting up to something. But it was just hot XD

I had a HOT bath afterwards to become a lobster and burn those aches off!!

Did some painting

now at 7:30pm I am pretty much ready for bed! bed again! all I do is sleep lately. What is wrong with me T^T so slow recovering T^T I will get there

I got stickers in the post yesterday for Lizi, I bought her stickers to give to her students (cus shes doing her teacher training now) and I gave them to Jack to give to her today ^^

I ordered a pokemon Psyduck pen for Jack to put on his school lanyard as he always carries on but always loses it. I thought if he had a nicer pen he would keep track of it. Its also to thank him for putting up with my sickly ass

He got 3/6 clothes that i ordered today. He loved both pokemon tshirts but the trousers were restrictive so I might use them for work. 

tomorrow

another day recovering

got my long sleeve pyjamas on for the first time, winter is on its way

got my sick note so I have the rest of the week to recover

 Evening

So last night I went to bed being able to breathe better. Not feeling like there was a weight on my chest and having a collapsed lung. And I slept! through the night no less! That hasnt happened in a while

so when the alarm went on this morning I did decide to have a normal morning and eat breakfast with Jack as I havent done that for a couple of weeks nearly. So that was nice and I did feel better like I was on the mend.

Jack left for work and I did some painting, the whole time having the same burning tummy ache I had last night. I fussed my Ozwald and Im not sure what else I did but 10:30am I had a sleep for an hour as I was feeling tired and I wanted to be able to walk over to mums to have lunch with her

I woke up at 11:30am and felt so dead. I had hit the wall. I told her I wasnt able to walk over to her. I had an early lunch and ended up sleeping for 3 and a half hours....just could not wake up no matter how hard I fought to wake up. so that was my day T^T

Jack came home and he planted new heathers in the garden on the new rockery and that looks better now. We did dinner which was easy enough to do then after dinner we prepped tomorrows slow cooker stew. Were having Korean noodles tomorrow! 

I really should do some yoga so I dont get stiff and tight but my energy in on the floor right now. I might try after my bath maybe? I will see how I feel. Right now I cant even be bothered to wash myself. 

But the doctor has done me a sick note so I have the rest of the week off to recover which I am so grateful of.

Jack is stressed and busy at work and I feel so sorry for him as I am not there to literally do my job but I also told him he needs to stop sayin yes to people and make them aware were a technician down and to back off and get school to hire agency staff to cover like they would for a teacher. makes me sick.

tomorrow

got the korean noodles to put on in the morning, see mum and lunch, do some painting. About as fun as it gets for me!

Booked a holiday! first one in 3 years!

 Evening~

i couldnt sleep last night. Exact repeat of the previous night - aches and burning stomach. I was up til 1:30am, I did some painting, yoga, went on my laptop. I actually dont know how I passed the time to be honest. 

I climbed into bed and next thing I knew I hit the alarm and passed out again. Jack woke me to say he was leaving for school. i think I murmured something but certainly didnt open my eyes - needed more sleep it would seem!

next thing I knew I was waking at 10:30am. My god! 10:30am!!! I must have needed the sleep. But 9 hours is what the Jo needs~

so I went straight through to Oz who had been left 3 hours by himself in the living room! bless him. Jack hadnt expected me to wake so late. but Oz was fine. He has food and drink and a toilet area, hes fine. He gave me lots of fuss. I fussed him back

I did a bit of painting, I saw mummy at lunch time. She told me I needed to ring the doctors and request a sick note....so I did that. If I get a sick note I will be off school for the entire week! I go to one wedding and end up having 2 weeks off work.

After mum went I did a bit of painting, I looked at clothes for Jack as my Jack is a tramp. He needs clothes and expects them to appear in his wardrobe I think. So I gave him the choice of dragging him round stores paying full retail price or letting me loose online. He chose the online option, good lad. So I spent £70 of his money on 6 items of clothes which is pretty decent. Of course some of them are pokemon tshirts as this is Jack.

The next big spending was a holiday! Jack had told me to wait to the start of October but balls to that I wanna go away. I moved my reflex appointment so we could go first week of the holidays. So I had look round and one place was reduced from £145 to £129 for 2 nights and its at a spa! so we might get treatment there we will have to see whats on offer. You also get a bath in the room as well. It seemed nice and modern. The usual place I stay in Matlock is £120 and its small and run down. So for £9 more we get a better place.

I txted Jack at work saying I have booked a holiday and he said he was excited ^^ I am going on what would be my Granny's birthday. So I think day one we will go round the waterfall place I love, do Matlock and then day two rent a bike and cycle round Carsington water which is a lake really. I havent been there for years and Jack has never been so it will be nice for him ^^

we havent been away together for 3 years. we've only been away once together too cus you, covid.

excited ^^ mum has agreed to have Oz for us. So I wont have to worry about him. She has a spare hutch.

I did a bit of yoga after all that internet searching.

I felt I had had the most productive day in over week.

I did a dinner which was easy but VERY tasty we both loved it and said we could have had it again there and now XD

Jack came home and after dinner we laid on the sofa and told each other our days. I felt bad not getting up with him in the morning but I needed sleep.

He missed me at work T^T

I miss being with him.

But today I actually feel..............improvement!!! actual improvement. Like how I did last thursday. I think I am actually on the mend. Never thought this day would come!

tomorrow

sadly tomorrow will be a long day for me as mummy cant come and see me so I will by myself til jack comes in from work. I have nothing planned as I am obviously off sick still >.>

ate pasta for the first time in over a year

 Evening

I am STILL poorly TT^TT just what the hell man >.>

I was up til midnight unable to sleep due to aches and a burning stomach I just could not get comfy with. So yeah I was up doing a few things really until I felt I could maybe sleep

However I was having a nightmare in the morning, I knew Jack was up and kept coming in to see if I would wake but I couldnt wake up I was praying he would wake me but no he kept leaving the room so I had to remain in my nightmare!

eventually he woke me at 8:50am and said "im going to my mums soon"

nooooo! I wanna go!

i looked mega rough this morning, couldnt wake up and felt drugged and hungover with a splitting headache. I told him I wanted to go. He let me have breakfast and drugs to see if I would pick up but realistically, I was going no where T^T I missed out!! I was so annoyed. Kinda glad I didnt go tho as I had to die on the toilet.

I txt my mum and she said she was just nipping out by her self a.k.a without dad so she would pop by. She came in for a brew and I asked her if she would the same route I did yesterday with me. So we did that. On the walk she said "yeah you're not going tomorrow. You will also ring up the doctors for a doctors note" 0.0" well thats me told! Guess I must have looked bad walking. 

shes right tho, its just I had it in my head I would go back to school no matter what tomorrow T^T

I am just frustrated by it all you know? gone on for 7 whole days now

she left and Jack came home as I was cooking my lunch meat

we had lunch, Jack made me lunch he made me 2 wraps which was nice of him and what I felt like but my stomach afterwards just was so painful, my brother phoned. I then did a tiny bit of painting then at some point just passed out on my bed. 

I woke up knowing I needed to spend a lot of time in that kitchen ><

I enlisted Jack's help as I needed help to get it all done

I made a cake

made meatballs with a 1kg of mince and then made it into a pasta dinner. pasta

pasta, I have not had pasta for over a year. I went massively off it. I tried dried pasta (obviously cooked) and couldnt bare the texture. How did I used to eat so much of the stuff!? so matt suggested I give fresh pasta a go. So jack bought fresh pasta yesterday. My first time trying fresh pasta.

I was able to eat it. But if I am honest I did not enjoy it. it did nothing for me. Like mush in my mouth. I have no missed pasta. I have tried bread and that doesnt do anything for me. Like I have gone off some carbs. weirdly. its ever since a did that diet last year. food hasnt been the same to me. i spent two hours in that kitchen and i dont feel I got a lot of that. Jack enjoyed it and appreciated it as hes a normal person and enjoys pasta. I said to him i will not be doing that dinner again. way too faffy for little return. we are having the rest of the meatballs on wraps tomorrow for dinner so at least tomorrows dinner will be easy! cus today killed me off!!!

I had a bath and a massive pamper in the bath and out the bath. Hoping to try make myself feel better. feel human -______- I wanna be better. I am so over this now. 

I now feel rough. I am tired and cant wait for my bed. so done

we've given Oz plenty of fuss today he loves having us both around. Hes so sweet. he's 60 in bunny years bless him.

tomorrow~

well tomorrow I should be in school! so Jack will be there, covering for me T^T

he will have warhammer after school so he will be late home but he has the car so he will be home quicker than normal at least. Mum said she will come see me :)

please please let me feel better tomorrow

i hope I sleep tomorrow too

Just been so poorly but wasn't covid

 Evening

I honestly had no energy to sit and do this

i    have    been    so     poorly

But its been quite a weird virus

I had no voice but not coughing

I felt like I had a head cold but no snot

I had a bad headache and could not think straight at all

I was struggling to breathe like someone was sitting on my chest - I have been using my inhaler A LOT

I have been EXHAUSTED - no energy and walking from one end of my house to the other left me feeling tired and out of breath

I have never had a virus like it.

I of course did covid test and I was fine. 

I didnt make a single day of school this week! just was so poorly

strange thing was, Thursday I actually felt better, not 100% but certainly better. To the point where I thought about going into school on friday but decided I would be stupid to go in and just to take the week off to recover. And it was a good thing I was thinking this as Friday I was really poorly. It was like I had caught a new virus. So strange. 

where did that improvement go!? so unfair. 

Because I havent been able to breathe properly I havent been able to sleep properly as laying down made it harder to breathe so I was up all hours of the night, catching up on my sleep during the day. I have been all over the place with sleep and meals! 

I have been SSOOOOOO bored. I literally cant do anything due to exhaustion and fog brain. So I ether sleep or play Okami or watch youtube or look at clothes online. Thats it. Thats been my week

jack on the other hand, has been stressed out at work due to Ofsted, he had a funereal to go yesterday to which he had to drive somewhere totally new and stuff. He has had a full on week. He slept for 3 hour today during the day which is not like him but all week he has been saying hes tired. 

Hes also had me to help out a bit more cus of me being poorly and also covering for me at work.

the week has been seriously crap

I thought id be able to enjoy my weekend

ha no

I couldnt go food shopping today cus I couldnt drive or walk so Jack went alone AGAIN bless him. 2 saturdays on the go. 

I have managed a 15min walk today to the end of the street and back. It felt SO good to get out the house but also tired me out massively. My legs now ache from that tiny walk

I have been yoga during the week if I got some energy, just so I wasnt tight and stiff cus it wont do my fibro any good. Having to exercise when youre tired and cant breathe is like some sick form of torture. 

I am hoping I am back on monday. I cant take anymore of this!!!

Tomorrow, its jack's mum's birthday and he is popping over in the morning, I am hoping to be there too but depends on how I am. I can not believe I havent kicked this virus. My immune system is crap. like a slug. Mum has kept me company, bought me new pyjamas and pure orange juice. shes been so good to me, even bought the girls a couple of times to cheer me up

I hope I can at least enjoy some of my sunday before I go back to school

I suffer enough damn it >.>