first time I have been out with mummy for weeks!

 Evening

i couldnt sleep last night. Despite getting up with Jack til 11pm I went back to bed, still couldnt sleep so was up til 2am. I ached, felt sick and my stomach looked like I was 5months pregnant. Why i still suffer with my stomach despite being on my diet, I dont know -_______- I cant take anymore from my diet! But to chill me out last night I painted some halloween nails :) 

This morning I woke up at 8:45am to find Jack sleeping. I left him sleeping as yesterday he said he felt like he had a cold coming, I wondered if he did have a cold and therefore needed the rest. I let him sleep and went to get Oz who had grown impatient with waiting it would seem, judging by his thrown dish and toy....

Jack got up at 9am tho. He said he felt ok today. Me on the other hand, I feel like I have a cold coming! my nose and throat feels burny and Ive had to blow my nose today several time. I best not be getting a cold on my holidays!!!!!

I didnt see Jack much this morning and I was putting away the stuff mum bought over yesterday

we had an early lunch as he wanted to get off to warhammer world.

at 1pm mummy came to pick me up :D

we went to TK MAXX I got a few things and some new headphones for work. so it was worth going.

mum took me back to hers so I could sit with the girls which was nice, she also showed me the wallpaper and paint shes gonna use in my old room

she bought me back for 4pm as I needed my pain killers, I also needed to see loaf who looks like he had just been having his afternoon sleep in his cage. I sat on my laptop really then got dinner ready as I am so damn hungry but Jack should be home soon. He better be >.>

I will show him what I bought later and we will watch the new pokemon trailer also~

just gonna have a bath later and stuff

tomorrow tho

we are going to birmingham!! we are catching the train in the morning then just having a few hours in birmingham and have lunch with his sister. Should be a nice day ^^ I am looking forward to it I just hope I can walk ok. My legs have been painful since my walk with mia as they arent 100% recovered from my holiday. So today just doing 1 shop was ENOUGH. I wanna wear a comfy outfit.

we have the stew to put on in the morning before we leave. But yeah we're not having too long over there as it is just a shopping place and I cant walk forever and we dont wanna leave Oz all day

pleas please please can i sleep tonight!!

Finally ordered some storage, and told Mia

 Evening

I slept

god I slept

slept like the dead and woke up at 8:50am and mia was coming around 9:30am so had to get up and get ready. So glad I slept tho.

I went for a good hour's walk with Mia and the dogs. i got to hear all about her life post-wedding. Then near my house coming home I told her about my engagement and she was like "why are youo just telling me this now!? why didnt you tell me at the start of the walk!?" I said "because I didnt want to trample on your wedding, I wanted to hear about what you've been up to since your wedding and thoughts on your wedding. Didnt want to just make way for my engagement like your wedding was no longer important" anyway she was SO happy. Honestly so happy. I told her it wouldnt be for a few years and but she did want to know the crucial detail, is she bridesmaid. 

I said "of course you are! I can not do that day without you. I need you by my side on that day!"

I cant do it without her, I need her there 100%. Im also not bothered about having anymore bridesmaid. Think I just need mia really.

I got in and Jack made me a tea, after we drank that it was near enough lunch time

after lunch I started doodling some ideas for halloween nails. 

I looked at some recipes for my diet as I am starting to struggle now. Literally eating the same old stuff and I would KILL for something sweet. God I miss tea, chocolate and biscuits, cake. So I spent £10 on 2 types of fancy ass flour so I can do some baking. I need to pick up some stuff when we go shopping on saturday too. We did pick up 70% dark chocolate as I can have dark chocolate. last time on the diet I tried 90% and spat it out. Far too bitter. I dont like dark chocolate anyway, only if its in something like cake or biscuits. 70% was still gross. So maybe I could get a less percentage one.

I also had a look at storage for my craft room online. something I keep doing but not having success with. Then mum came over she bought some more of my stuff from home - yes almost 2 years later i STILL have stuff at home.....

basically, I havent bought my stuff over cus I need to finish my craft room otherwise I literally cant store all the stuff. But as they are decorating my old bedroom, some stuff has had to come over which is fine. I still have more than that tho...

so I saw mum for a bit

then once she went, I asked for Jack  to help me look at storage as I like his opinion and help measuring where things would go. He also thinks totally different to me so he comes up with things I would never think of. It has saved me buying loads of wrong things in my time here! I can finally finally say that I have ordered some shelving!! jesus christ, so it cost me....£340 T^T its made to order and had to order internal boxes too. I needed sturdy. I didnt wanna worry about it falling to pieces. I also needed  it to last, Im not replacing it any time soon and it will hold a lot of my craft stuff. i am happy with my choice. It wont be here til christmas tho. The boxes should come this week so at least I can sort stuff out and put them in the boxes ready. I cant tell you what a relief it is to finally be getting some storage.

We then did dinner, it was donburi. As I cant have the rice my bowl was veg, chicken and egg. I felt like a body builder....we both had stomach upset after dinner weirdly. 

after dying on the toilet I had a bath then finished my diary

My legs are tired, I dont feel too tired tho. I really hope I sleep well tonight! be good to have 2 days running of good sleep!

tomorrow

I have my Jack in the morning then after lunch he is meeting nerds from work for the first time out of work to go to Warhammer world to play warhammer which he hasnt done for years. So I am really happy for him that hes doing that. Hes been frantically making models for it! Mummy says she will come pick me up and take me out. Mummy is carer tomorrow

big bouquet and Jack told his Nan

 Evening

I had a bad night, took me a while to sleep anyway cus Jack wasnt with me. Then I woke up at 1am for a wee and that was my downfall. I ached really bad and was up til gone 3. I woke up at 9am to an empty messy bed, even Hammington had fled the bed! Jack said I had been thrashing in my sleep. So I was even aching in my sleep!

I felt drained of life this morning

like I had nothing more to give

but had a lot to do.

I didnt bother getting dressed, brushing my hair, washing my face

I just got straight into cooking my breakfast meat, ate that then followed up with cooking meat for mon and tues dinner. Then Jack helped me make my soup. Whilst that was cooking the 3 of us went out to clean Ozwald out

I sat on the sofa, exhausted. My mum wanted to see me tho today but I really wasnt in the mood

I was grouchy. Cus I was tired and achy and my lunchtime pain killers i had been looking forward to may as well have been flour tablets. Cant even say sugar tablets as i didnt get any energy 

So I was gonna go to bed, but we decided to do a short walk. I told mum what I was doing and that I would see her tomorrow when I was in a better mood.

We started walking and my body felt so heavy, like I had bricks on the bottom of my shoes

we did the shortest walk possible and I had the hill to my house yet to do. That was when mummy's car came round the corner. Like an actual heaven moment. She had been to drop flowers and a card off at my house and then said I looked like death, did I want a lift home. So dad spun the car round and took me and Jack home. He even congratulated Jack....absolute shock. Hes even been telling people! didnt think he would be arsed if I am honest!!

I was soooooooooooooo grateful to be home and thanked mum and dad for the lift

I got in and dived into my bed where I stayed for the next 2 hours  

when I got up i felt in a much better mood and a bit better in general

Jack had been on the phone to his nan to tell her the news. She was THRILLED shes wanted our marriage more than anyone XD she cant wait to tell people 

i looked at the flowers and card mummy got us. Massive bouquet of flowers 0.0 shame they will die they are beautiful

we had a  cup of tea then I started on dinner as it was gonna be faffy, I didnt need jack's help so he went out the way cus I wanted to make mess by myself

I was making 2 types of pancakes

I made myself banana pancake mix which turned out ok, I had mine with chopped up orange and strawberries. Jack had normal pancake mix but I cooked his with bacon and baked beans. I put maple syrup on both of ours. Mine was more successful than I thought it was gonna be. Jack loved his as thats very much his kinda meal XD

Then I spent ages on the floor fussing loaf. Honestly me and that rabbit this weekend have spent a lot of time fussing one another. Youd think it was us two engaged XD we had to catch up on lost time cus id been away. I love him so much

I had been putting off cleaning the damn bathroom all day, not feeling like I had the energy for it. But thought if I start it I will just get on with it. Which is what I did.

I had a VERY hot bath. I was lobster Jo. I was determined to burn them aches off. It has helped

now I think we're gonna watch high school DxD, weve not watched an episode since tuesday night!

tomorrow

going for a dog walk with mia at 9:30am, I can tell her my news and also hear about how married life has been treating her. Suppose to rain heavy tomorrow tho T^T

we told Jack's family today :)

 Evening

I couldnt sleep last night, I was too achy and felt a bit sicky too. So I was up til 11pm, Jack came to join me after he finished his gaming.

I then, after the bed was fresh and Hammington was fresh from her bath, had a nightmare and therefore sweated in bed -_______- my hair felt wet when I woke up from it. So come morning I felt quite grim to be honest. 

We went for food shopping and I bumped into mummy ^^ she told me my dad was happy with our news :) 

Once we were home, I had a quick bath to help with my aches and also to make me feel less grim cus yeah even my hair looked greasy from the sweat.

I got out the bath and made myself look presentable and then we headed off to Jack's family's house

we were there to give his sister her birthday card and gift

after everyone was chatting Jack just dropped the bomb shell of "we're engaged"

His family was so happy especially his mum. She said "finally" finally? we've only been together 3 years ^^; how fast should we get married? I think there were hoping for a wedding soon but I said we were gonna wait a bit.

We left at 12:50, I was so hungry and tired

We did lunch as soon as we got in then I went to bed. I was tired.

I got up at 3:30pm and had a brew with Jack

I made some tomato sauce to go with my dinner

sat on my laptop a bit then did the dinner, had a quick bath but didnt both washing my hair again. It will look a mess tomorrow but im not going anywhere.

Jack is off to play with Theo online, he messaged his friends on the group chat to tell them about the engagement and they were happy for us but also made fun of him saying "someone actually wants to marry you"

so im by myself tonight which is fine, I dont mind. I cope. I finished Okami, again, last night so I will have disgaea4 to play tonight. I havent done any exercise today tho so I might do some weights in a bit not sure yet. I really should do some digital drawing but I havent found the motivation

tomorrow

seeing as I didnt do my chores today (I thought as we've been away from the house for 2 days things werent too bad) so I have meat to cook, soup to make, Oz to clean out, bathroom to clean. Fun day tomorrow isnt it!

I got engaged =^^=

 I am home~~~

So saturday 19th of October was a full on day!

We got all ready to go away for our second holiday ever. We dropped Oz off at mums. and Jack drove us off to Matlock - derbyshire

we arrived just fine, we walked up round the old unique houses and pubs to a bookshop Jack wanted to go to. It was full, from ceiling to floor of books and 3 stories! Not my kinda thing but Jack enjoys it. We then went back to the car for a quick lunch

We then drove to Lumsdale Valley. Which is one my favourite places! It has water falls! We had a slow walk down the bank cus its very uneven and covered in leaves. Jack helped me every step of the way in case I fell. My legs were becoming weak and tired and shaky. I was also using my inhaler a lot which adds to the shakiness.

We eventually got to the water fall. Jack sat me down on a rock by the water fall and asked if this was my favourite spot. I said it was, I was using my inhaler and trying to catch my breath. Jack sat with me and once I was ok he told me how much he loves me, wants to spend the rest of his life with me, how happy I make him everyday. Then he whipped out a box. Yup. This was my Jack proposing to me *0* 

I obviously said yes as I love him to pieces and live with the guy. He put the ring on my finger and freakin fitted!!!! its a lovely pink ruby and diamond gold ring. I will have to take a photo of it. But it was so private no one was around, it was so perfect. I was massively in shock haha

We then walked back to the car. Drove back to the Matlock bath and went for tea and cake which was heaven in my mouth. The best toffee cake I have ever eaten.

Then we could check in at the hotel. I rested for a bit. We talked about telling our parents and we said we prefer to do it in person. So I had to keep that a secret til I got home!

But it was still sinking in that he proposed to me, by a waterfall on my beloved Granny's birthday ^^

I asked him if he asked my parents permission, he said he didnt as he was gonna ask but then worried if he asked then actually bottled asking me XD bless him.

He had the ring since May and was dying to give it to me but because I have been so poorly, we havent been anywhere for him to do the proposal. 

We went to dinner and I had a korean chicken and a few chips. I didnt push my luck and over eat as I didnt want to upset my stomach. Jack had a beef burger topped with pulled pork and bacon. He was more happy with his mulled cider XD

We went back to the hotel, I was struggling to walk but the pub was well within walking distance it was great. We had a soak in the bath then called it a night, both of us done in

I didnt sleep well due to pain. I had face ache from not having my pillow, aches from not having my supportive bed, aches from walking. The pain was that bed it was like I could hear the pain. I woke Jack up cus it was pitch black in the room and I needed pain killers and to move. At home we have the diffuser on all night and it lights the room a bit, we also have a street lamp outside our bedroom window lighting the public footpath. All in all, we can see quite well at night. 

We got the next morning and we had paid for bike rental for a local lake cycle path. But as soon as I woke up I could hear the rain. It was hammering it down.....our plans ruined. We were gonna go out for breakfast but we did not fancy going out in that! so I had a nice bath to help my aching body. Then we went to reception and asked if we were allowed to have breakfast. she said it was fine and made a quick note of our room number as it would cost £10 each. She said she would stick it on our room.

we walked through to breakfast. Literally being the youngest there XD I had 1 and a half muffins and some fruit as I didnt fancy much else.

we went back to the room and I flopped on the bed deflated. I fell asleep and woke up at 10:30. When I woke up Jack motivated me. Said we would go out and get wet on the bikes. I couldnt bare the thought of how cold and achy I would get but decided to go out and get the lunch and hope the rain passes. We were gonna drive to Matlock for the sainsburys and buy a meal deal to eat at the lake. But when we arrived I realised you got 3 hours free parking so I suggested we just have a chill day and do the shops and have lunch in a cafe

so thats what we did. All the shops are unique and independent no chain shops to be seen! we found a little cafe run by an elderly couple. I had the best carrot and corriander soup  i have even eaten. we looked round odd little shops. i did see things I like but it would be buying for the sake of buying. I did find a coat in a charity shop for dad and I bought that. That was the only thing I did buy!

Id had enough, it hadnt stopped raining the entire time. It eased but didnt stop til 4:30pm

at 2pm we drove back towards the hotel and had an ice cream. I had a scoop of oreo and scoop of Malteser. then we went back to the hotel. I was relieved as i could barely walk. I fell asleep as soon as we got back. When I woke up we went for food. We went same pub as it was so quiet there, cheap, and Jack saw drinks he wanted to try. I was fine going same place as we didnt go for the food we go to see places. It also relaxed me as I knew what I would be eating! I decided to have same korean chicken as I enjoyed it. Jack had beef lasagne

he had a couple of drinks and I was just on squash. We managed a dessert! i had toffee pudding with ice cream jack has tiramisu. We stayed there a while then did a walk by the river - the river faced the pub. It was all lit up with fairy lights - the walk called lovers walk X3

we went back to the hotel for a bath and bed, Jack kindly massaged my legs before bed and it helped massively

I slept better think the massage helped. We went out for breakfast which wasnt anything amazing as most places opened at 10am. So it was ether wait round for good food or eat anything and get home to Oz and hour earlier. We both missed loaf and loved all the photos and videos mum sent me.

we packed our stuff and gave the key back, the woman didnt charge us for breakfast! so that was lucky, made me feel better about the wasted bike money.

Jack drove home and as soon as I got home I started unpacking everything. Not sure why! just did it. Of course I had been to see Oz as mum had kindly dropped him off a bit earlier. He was happy to see me, gave me licks, ignored Jack XD

I cooked sausages for Jacks lunch then we had lunch

mum came over and she stayed almost 2 hours.

I showed her my ring. She was shocked! I wasnt sure if she was happy at first but it was just shock bless her. she was happy. 

Then once mum left I monged on youtube, went for an early bath, had dinner, now here. Jack has gaming tonight. So I am by myself tonight but i think I will fall asleep rapid tonight. I am exhausted....

we might see jack's family at the weekend to tell them the news ^^

I am so happy about it all. But there is ZERO rush to actually go down the aisle. We are in no hurry and will just do it as and when I am ready basically. Kinda want a new kitchen before blowing my savings on a wedding! 

I feel loved and wanted ^^ I am so grateful to my Jack. Hes been so brave.  Its a massive thing to do and hes been thinking about it a while bless him!

I have had a lovely holiday with him too, yes not everything went to plan but it was lovely all the same. We both enjoyed it and enjoyed getting out, just the two of us. I am grateful to mum for doing top notch bunny care. 

so yeah thats everything I think ^^

I have only told  mum and even when I have told Jacks family

we will not be posting it all over social media cus we're not like that. I will message a few people who arent able to physically see me but on the whole I am just gonna wait til I see people to tell them. I prefer to see reactions. Then posting it online and receiving cold likes

love you my Jack~

On the second card

 Evening

we had  to get  up again, cus of me, again. My stomach. Just doesnt like laying down at night for some reason. Really painful. We were only up til 11pm tho.

I woke up at 8am Jack was already up with the loaf and had cut up the stuff for the stew! Amazing how during the night I am a light sleeping but come morning or  during the day I am a heavy sleeper. 

So I was doing the stew first thing when I woke up.

Then I did some leg and arm weights for 15mins. That would be my exercise for the day.

I got dressed and then we started packing stuff to go away. We needed to sort it all out.

I then sat doing Jack's sister's birthday card. its finished and i hope she likes it!

We had lunch and then I sat painting my nails then I went to  bed.

When I woke up I took Oz outside with me and rang my mum. I was gonna see her but shes full of cold so I dont wanna catch that before we go away. I have told my brother hes welcome to my house to work from home if he wants. 

I was sooooo hungry so we had dinner for bang on 5pm

afterwards I started doing a card for my brother's christmas present as I bought him a voucher so I want a decent card for it.

Then I had a big pamper in the bathroom. I feel so clean!

I might do a bit more of my brother's card tonight

Oz has been demanding bun and chewing up the garden...dread him going mums and savaging her garden....

big spending and stomach isnt well

 Evening

As I sat on my laptop last night it was about 8:15 and I was thinking "I feel sick, no way do I wanna take tonights meds if I already feel so sickly" by 8:30 I was out my seat and feeling like I was gonna chuck up. Jack saw me and asked whats wrong. I didnt dare answer him in case I was sick whilst speaking. I was then on my knees spitting into the toilet some yellow saliva. Wasnt pretty. Jack got me a cup of water and I sipped on that and sat on the cold bathroom floor. I came round after 10mins. But yeah wasnt nice. It was the same feeling as last week when I was gonna be sick.

We went to bed after watching the start of season 4 of highschool DxD 

in bed, I got that awful stomach/large intestine pain and had to get up with the hot bag. Jack chose to get up with me but I told him he didnt need to. We were up til 11pm anyway. I did sleep after that as I took extra pain killers to knock me out

Jack got up at 7am and delt with the sour dough. I got up at 8am and had to go toilet straight away to find my poo floats. My stomach and intestines has one job to do and thats digest. Sodding digest would ya!!!! its not doing what its suppose to do >.> No wonder I am exhausted, Im not digesting properly so I am not getting everything from my food T^T

this morning we got ready to go out anyway as we needed a lot of stuff from the next town/village

I needed to bank a cheque

we needed 2 pet shops

we needed the supermarket

Jack needed a weatherspoons voucher for his sisters birthday present

I needed a voucher

we needed some stuff for physics

and we needed 3 other stores

man it was a lot!!!!!!!!!!! 2 hours later and like £200 later. We were done

so very done.....

we've needed that stuff for a long time so the list had grown!

we got in and unpacked and then had a brew and had lunch

I really wanted to just go bed but I said I would go see my mummy. I took Oz over with me as I thought it would do him some good to refresh his mind on that garden. He looked up at their high rockery and i could see the doubt in his eyes - he used to be able to scale that rockery no issue - instead he took the stairs! mum said it was good he did that instead of hurting himself. He then spent the entire 90mins I was over, loafing under a tree T^T he did not understand the assignment 

I sat talking to my mum. She bought Jack a slab of flapjack and me some bunny socks as I cant have cake right now. it was nice of her ^^

i came home with loaf, he did very well travelling I have to say. He then loafed in my garden.

I sat resting for almost an hour as honestly my eyelids are red I am so tired

I got up and cleaned the girl's cage out before it got too grim

I then sat doing Jack's sisters birthday card, its somehow turned into a manga kinda page! I hope she likes it considering she doesnt ike comics! Jack says its good. I will finish it tomorrow

Oh and last night when I was looking at accessories online. Originally my basket was like £82 but I got it down to £60. So yes. I have ordered £60 worth of accessories but I got 15 accessories for that. that shop just sold so much I liked! I am excited for them to arrive! I didnt tell Jack. But my money anyway.

Were maybe gonna book train tickets tonight to go birmingham for the day next week. It will be a bit pricey to do but we have done nothing as a couple all year - mainly cus of me. So I said to Jack it will be nice to do. We're only doing it for Jack's sister who has moved there last month for uni. So we said we would go visit her and have lunch with her. Id like to do that for her. Shes settling in well it seems :) and we can give her her birthday card I am making.

Think I will dye my eyelashes tonight as my eyes are sore anyway why not sting them further XD

I will go for a bath and watch anime then play switch in bed and finally conk out. I am knackered

tomorrow

we are putting the stew on in the morning and having a more relaxed day for me, before we go away.