That was October half term

 \evening/

So today is the last day of my October half term T^T

Last night, I was by myself. I sat and painted my nails, watched the first 3 episodes of overlord again, played on my switch in bed til 10pm. Yeah I had a good time by myself actually XD Jack said he came to bed around midnight but didnt sleep well as he couldnt breathe, hes full of cold :(

I got up at 8:30am which was actually 7:30am. But Oz doesnt understand and so had thrown his dish. He doesnt do waiting XD I let Jack sleep in. When I woke up I was straight in that bathroom, a repeat of yesterday morning!

I had a good breakfast~ I made myself a hot chocolate on the stove by warming almond milk, dark chocolate drops and coconut sugar. It was actually pretty good, heck I've had worse from cafes! I drank it along side banana cake~ what a breakfast ^^

I did 50mins of yoga as my legs really really hurt today so I thought this might help them, I thought wrong

I then sat cooking Jack's lunch meat, chicken for 2 meals for us and then Jack helped me with my soup

we had lunch then Jack fell asleep, Oz fell asleep. So I had no choice but to be quiet!

I sat making an account on Transcribeme, reading the everything about the damn sit -____- took me AGES cus I wanna take the 2-3  hour exam and hopefully pass the damn thing (english not being my strong suit) and then transcribe some videos! see if I can earn a bit more money but when I chose. Cus it would be nice to earn more money now that im part time. But theres no way I could work 2 jobs with my health being what it is. So for the last 3 weeks I have been researching these kinda remote jobs that you can do as and when you want. I have told NO ONE. In case it doesnt work out! 

I had a cup of tea outside with my loaf, he likes attention outside

we did the dinner which was salad, thats as most as I am willing to say on topic T^T

then I had awful tummy ache

every damn food I have eaten today be it snack or meal, I have ended up in that bathroom. My stomach is not happy. Why? Im on that damn diet what more does it want!? Right now my stomach is massive, skin stretched, painful, I feel sick and look about 5months pregnant. But nothing comes of it. I just have sit and deal with the pain. Its horrible. I feel sick and dreading taking my last lot of pain killers...I have put it down to nerves about school tomorrow. I am the same everytime after a holiday. My stomach has a nervous disposition I know it does. It's more bothered about school than I am! I have been keeping myself busy all day but my stomach has been hyperfocused on school all day.

I had a good pamper in the bath to burn those aches. My skin came out matching my hair - red

gonna watch anime and go bed

tomorrow is school T^T no fair. Next holiday is christmas holidays too. my worst holiday ugh. Dont wanna go tomorrow! Its also Halloween tomorrow! so I will be wearing a cute outfit~

but been the best holiday this year, we actually went out!!! and of course our engagement 

I just hope Jack is well enough to go school tomorrow so we can tell people together. I wont tell people without him.

Carved Pumpkins

 Evening

I whipped out my weighted blanket last night, forgot how good that sucker is! it felt so good on my aches to have pressure on them. Slept really well, got up once for a wee and that was it

this morning I woke up and straight away had to spend quality time on the toilet. It was awful. Not sure where all that came from. Jack weighed me and said I had lost 0.5kg since last week....he said "youre literally shitting yourself thin" I burst out laughing. He doesnt usually tell me about my weight

We went off shopping anyway, bumped into mum into the car park ^^ she was round the shop a lot with us. We did well shopping, I got new ankle weights ^^ 

Once we were home we unpacked and had a quick sit

then I sat cooking some meat, marinating some meat. Then Jack helped me clean Oz out. I cleaned the bathroom.  We had lunch. God I was done you know! I went to bed for a good hour. It didnt do much good but gave my body rest I suppose.

Once I was up we did a half hour walk as that was all i was up to.

we came in and I made myself and almond milk earl grey tea. Best one I have made. Its with different almond milk but I added more earl grey tea leaves and more sugar, actually made it taste so much better. I might be on to something there. 

We then carved pumpkins! originally Jack was like "I dont want a pumpkin" but then today round the shops he decided he wanted one....when they had zero pumpkins. He picked up a 69p ghost pumpkin. Its tiny. Fits in the palm of your hand. I said "you are gonna have a hard time carving something so small" but he got it. So I had mine which is the size of a large football and he had his mini ghost pumpkin.

I went with a happy goofy look which is different to what I usually go with, Jack on the other hand did so well! its probably his best pumpkin to date! I was very impressed. So they currently are looking at me with candles in.

I made a banana cake to snack on as I finally have dark chocolate drops to put in stuff! I also found a dark chocolate bar I like! so finally I have some 'decent' snacks on my diet.

I did dinner straight after banana cake

dyed my eyebrows and eyelashes. Managed to get dye in BOTH my EYES. jesus christ. Like acid. I was squealing and stamping my foot and pushing  my eyes into my skull. Anything to take the pain away. It luckily only lasts 10 seconds but its 10 agonising seconds

had a bath now doing diary with my lazy loaf who has nothing but frisked me for food today....

I plan to paint my nails later. Jack is gonna go game with Theo so I am by myself. I will then game in bed and hopefully sleep

tomorrow is my last day off....my last day of my holidays.....sad.....

I have plenty of chores to do like 2 lots of meat to cook and my soup to cook as well T^T my weekend to just goes to the house and chores....but I hope to do something for me. I still havent done any art work. I am not even sure what my excuse is.

I got red hair~

 Evening

I couldnt sleep last night, I ached and my stomach was a bit sore to lay on so all in all I could not get comfortable -_____- I was up til 2am cus of course I was

wanting to sod my diet and eat exactly what I want to eat

I just feel so unsatisfied all the time and miss food. No matter how hard I try with recipes the foods just arent cutting it for me. I was watching food videos, imagining what food must taste like. I miss carbs and feeling satisfied and full 

I woke up just before 9am

I didnt bother getting ready. I just ate breakfast and began cleaning the house. Jack didnt need prompting he just got on and joined in which was good of him. I was so dead after all that tho. Jack reminded me it didnt need to be done all in one go but I just wanted it bloody done.

we had a brew then lunch

after lunch I did my experiment! my expensive flours had arrived. Sadly the dark chocolate isnt here yet tho. But I had stuff to work with. I had a recipe for dough but i altered it to make it sweet and such. So  i made sweet chocolate rolls kinda thing. Theyve been the best thing I have eaten on this diet but cus I wasnt sure if it was gonna work, I only made four and ive eaten two! but cus its made with starch and therefor carbs it means hopefully they will give me some energy

mum came over at 2pm to dye my hair. I have red hair. I was washing it and the dye wouldnt stop pouring out! I thought  "did anything take to my hair!?" it washed out purple water, then red, then brown! I got the shower and yup. I AM RED. I swear im redder than on the packet!

we did dinner and had that in pyjamas. I have actually unintentionally had a pyjama day >< 

now I am just with my loaf who is full of beans today. 

I might put some songs on my ipod ready for school. God I cant believe after this weekend I am back at school! where did my holiday go!? its been a good holiday tho

we started watching a new anime today as we finished season4 of overlord. That is a solid series. I can not wait for series 5! I wanna watch the second season of Tonikawa cus its about marriage. But we will watch that one in the evenings after highschool DxD and we will finish that one this week

tomorrow

just food shop and chores T^T

We went Birmingham

 Evening

I was too dead yesterday to write anything. I had no brain cells left

we got up at 7am and put the stew on and Jack washed my hair for me - my  at the moment always looks crap and greasy as its due a cut and dye!

we set off for the train station, and went to catch our train

i was stupidly anxious and was a bit stressy. But it was just anxiety. I havent really travelled for 3 years

We caught the train and got seats thank god cus my legs are not able to support me for an hour standing

I shut my eyes for the 1 hour 15mins journey and Jack read

we arrived and I said I was mega thirsty and wanted bubble tea, not had bubble tea in 3 years and its also not really breaking my diet. It was soooooooo  good and refreshing

then we started looking at shops, we found the shops we wanted to go. The main one being Tokyo Toys. Jack said we werent leaving without something XD there was cute figures and plush but nothing really called out to me. I felt like I would be buying for the sake of buying you know? until I found one little bunny plush by itself!! I loved it. I said to Jack I wanted this one!! so thats all we got!

we were looking for a cafe to go to for lunch. We would be meeting Jacks sister for lunch, Sophie. I was trying to find a place to eat that did food I could eat. I was getting grouchy at this point as it HURT to walk and id had enough, i needed drugs and a bloody sit down

we found some where called Soho cafe. Jack bought me an earl tea but I was so thirsty I practically downed it. Didnt really savour ACTUAL tea. God I miss tea -______-

sophie turned up on time and we ordered lunch. i told Jack that no matter what I eat I will be breaking my diet as no where does paleo food. Unless you count a fruit pot. And i wanted something that will fill me for more than 20mins. So I chose a wrap and luckily it didnt have any sauce it was just chicken and veg so Id only broken my diet with 1 cup of tea and the wrap bread bit. So i didnt push my luck.

we left there after over and hours sit. My bum was going numb

sophie joined us for a bit. and we walked round a few shops

she left us as she wanted to go home and sleep

I said to Jack once she left that I am very much struggling to walk now, could we catch an earlier train home?

so we headed back to the station and there was a shop I really wanted to see Miniso it was full of super cute tat, all stuff you dont need but I could have bought A LOT

and the price!! how were they making any money!? it was dirt cheap but so cute and decent quality too. I got a pumpkin cushion, hair bands and clips. I wanted to study stuff more but we wanted that earlier train so we made a dash for it. We were lucky cus it was just 1 carriage and less stops but meant less seats! thank bloody god we got seats. I couldnt stand i was too tired and in too much pain

my home felt so far away. I just wanted to be home with my creature comforts. I drove us home as I could see the traffic was mounting, it was 4:50pm and I didnt have time for Jack's hesitant driving. I wanted us HOME. So I drove as I get the job done.

we got in and didnt stop from there as just because you go out for the day doesnt mean the house will run its self right! mum has been over and delivered my almond milk for me to try and stirred my stew too, checked on Oz. 

so we were doing mash for stew and sorting Oz and 1000 other things that needed sorting -___- I was shattered and hurting

I had a hot bath and Jack kindly massaged my legs for me which I think helped a lot.

I tried my experiment which was warming almond milk on the stove, pouring earl grey tea leaves and coconut sugar into it. Stirring it til it bubbled then straining into a mug. I have massively been missing warm milky drinks aka hot chocolate. And this wasnt too bad. My next experiment will be warm almond milk with melted dark chocolate drops. But I found something drinkable at least. not amazing but drinkable. Almond milk is an acquired taste

we fell asleep quite quick we were both wiped out. But we'd had a lovely day out together. We havent had a day out for AGGGEGSSSSSSSS 

This morning, I woke up at 8:30am, closed my eyes and next thing I know its 9:30am....

what the hell!? jack got up at 8am. So he sorted oz out thank god

I spent an hour doing yoga then cus I had sweated and felt grim I did go have a shower

then I had to cook Jack some meat for his lunch

after lunch we had to trim the fur round Oz's bum 

I did the shopping list and sorted other stuff out

I had reflex at 2pm it was soooooo relaxing. But because I had been so poorly lately I was expecting it to be bad and painful but wasnt painful at all and charlotte said nothing much cropped up, the best I had been!

I came home and made an almond milk tea

fussed Oz then I drove Jack for chip shop then bought us home, quickly microwaved my leftovers and had dinner. I do not know how Jack ate all that but he was very happy for that little treat. I want him to have a good holiday, I just feel bad I wont join in with take away. Well I cant right now on my diet anyway.

I didnt bother having a bath as I had a shower this morning and I dont want another one. Cant be arsed. Oz is going to bed in a minute

not sure what I will do between now and bed time. I could sleep I know that much.....

tomorrow

doing the dusting of the house T^T 

after lunch mummy is coming over and she says she wil dye my hair hopefully as god my hair looks a mess right now. Kinda gone brassy

I cant see me having any other outer city days out this year but going derbyshire and birmingham this holiday has been nice as we've literally not gone anywhere for 3 years! But now everywhere will start to get christmasy and busy. So I cant be doing that.

we said next year we would do birmingham convention. Its on next month but my cousin went to it in the summer and said it was crap. Covid had killed off all the stores so me and jack said we would give it a year to build back up hopefully. I would like to go manchester too maybe. jack keeps saying he would like to show me newcastle - where he went to uni

first time I have been out with mummy for weeks!

 Evening

i couldnt sleep last night. Despite getting up with Jack til 11pm I went back to bed, still couldnt sleep so was up til 2am. I ached, felt sick and my stomach looked like I was 5months pregnant. Why i still suffer with my stomach despite being on my diet, I dont know -_______- I cant take anymore from my diet! But to chill me out last night I painted some halloween nails :) 

This morning I woke up at 8:45am to find Jack sleeping. I left him sleeping as yesterday he said he felt like he had a cold coming, I wondered if he did have a cold and therefore needed the rest. I let him sleep and went to get Oz who had grown impatient with waiting it would seem, judging by his thrown dish and toy....

Jack got up at 9am tho. He said he felt ok today. Me on the other hand, I feel like I have a cold coming! my nose and throat feels burny and Ive had to blow my nose today several time. I best not be getting a cold on my holidays!!!!!

I didnt see Jack much this morning and I was putting away the stuff mum bought over yesterday

we had an early lunch as he wanted to get off to warhammer world.

at 1pm mummy came to pick me up :D

we went to TK MAXX I got a few things and some new headphones for work. so it was worth going.

mum took me back to hers so I could sit with the girls which was nice, she also showed me the wallpaper and paint shes gonna use in my old room

she bought me back for 4pm as I needed my pain killers, I also needed to see loaf who looks like he had just been having his afternoon sleep in his cage. I sat on my laptop really then got dinner ready as I am so damn hungry but Jack should be home soon. He better be >.>

I will show him what I bought later and we will watch the new pokemon trailer also~

just gonna have a bath later and stuff

tomorrow tho

we are going to birmingham!! we are catching the train in the morning then just having a few hours in birmingham and have lunch with his sister. Should be a nice day ^^ I am looking forward to it I just hope I can walk ok. My legs have been painful since my walk with mia as they arent 100% recovered from my holiday. So today just doing 1 shop was ENOUGH. I wanna wear a comfy outfit.

we have the stew to put on in the morning before we leave. But yeah we're not having too long over there as it is just a shopping place and I cant walk forever and we dont wanna leave Oz all day

pleas please please can i sleep tonight!!

Finally ordered some storage, and told Mia

 Evening

I slept

god I slept

slept like the dead and woke up at 8:50am and mia was coming around 9:30am so had to get up and get ready. So glad I slept tho.

I went for a good hour's walk with Mia and the dogs. i got to hear all about her life post-wedding. Then near my house coming home I told her about my engagement and she was like "why are youo just telling me this now!? why didnt you tell me at the start of the walk!?" I said "because I didnt want to trample on your wedding, I wanted to hear about what you've been up to since your wedding and thoughts on your wedding. Didnt want to just make way for my engagement like your wedding was no longer important" anyway she was SO happy. Honestly so happy. I told her it wouldnt be for a few years and but she did want to know the crucial detail, is she bridesmaid. 

I said "of course you are! I can not do that day without you. I need you by my side on that day!"

I cant do it without her, I need her there 100%. Im also not bothered about having anymore bridesmaid. Think I just need mia really.

I got in and Jack made me a tea, after we drank that it was near enough lunch time

after lunch I started doodling some ideas for halloween nails. 

I looked at some recipes for my diet as I am starting to struggle now. Literally eating the same old stuff and I would KILL for something sweet. God I miss tea, chocolate and biscuits, cake. So I spent £10 on 2 types of fancy ass flour so I can do some baking. I need to pick up some stuff when we go shopping on saturday too. We did pick up 70% dark chocolate as I can have dark chocolate. last time on the diet I tried 90% and spat it out. Far too bitter. I dont like dark chocolate anyway, only if its in something like cake or biscuits. 70% was still gross. So maybe I could get a less percentage one.

I also had a look at storage for my craft room online. something I keep doing but not having success with. Then mum came over she bought some more of my stuff from home - yes almost 2 years later i STILL have stuff at home.....

basically, I havent bought my stuff over cus I need to finish my craft room otherwise I literally cant store all the stuff. But as they are decorating my old bedroom, some stuff has had to come over which is fine. I still have more than that tho...

so I saw mum for a bit

then once she went, I asked for Jack  to help me look at storage as I like his opinion and help measuring where things would go. He also thinks totally different to me so he comes up with things I would never think of. It has saved me buying loads of wrong things in my time here! I can finally finally say that I have ordered some shelving!! jesus christ, so it cost me....£340 T^T its made to order and had to order internal boxes too. I needed sturdy. I didnt wanna worry about it falling to pieces. I also needed  it to last, Im not replacing it any time soon and it will hold a lot of my craft stuff. i am happy with my choice. It wont be here til christmas tho. The boxes should come this week so at least I can sort stuff out and put them in the boxes ready. I cant tell you what a relief it is to finally be getting some storage.

We then did dinner, it was donburi. As I cant have the rice my bowl was veg, chicken and egg. I felt like a body builder....we both had stomach upset after dinner weirdly. 

after dying on the toilet I had a bath then finished my diary

My legs are tired, I dont feel too tired tho. I really hope I sleep well tonight! be good to have 2 days running of good sleep!

tomorrow

I have my Jack in the morning then after lunch he is meeting nerds from work for the first time out of work to go to Warhammer world to play warhammer which he hasnt done for years. So I am really happy for him that hes doing that. Hes been frantically making models for it! Mummy says she will come pick me up and take me out. Mummy is carer tomorrow

big bouquet and Jack told his Nan

 Evening

I had a bad night, took me a while to sleep anyway cus Jack wasnt with me. Then I woke up at 1am for a wee and that was my downfall. I ached really bad and was up til gone 3. I woke up at 9am to an empty messy bed, even Hammington had fled the bed! Jack said I had been thrashing in my sleep. So I was even aching in my sleep!

I felt drained of life this morning

like I had nothing more to give

but had a lot to do.

I didnt bother getting dressed, brushing my hair, washing my face

I just got straight into cooking my breakfast meat, ate that then followed up with cooking meat for mon and tues dinner. Then Jack helped me make my soup. Whilst that was cooking the 3 of us went out to clean Ozwald out

I sat on the sofa, exhausted. My mum wanted to see me tho today but I really wasnt in the mood

I was grouchy. Cus I was tired and achy and my lunchtime pain killers i had been looking forward to may as well have been flour tablets. Cant even say sugar tablets as i didnt get any energy 

So I was gonna go to bed, but we decided to do a short walk. I told mum what I was doing and that I would see her tomorrow when I was in a better mood.

We started walking and my body felt so heavy, like I had bricks on the bottom of my shoes

we did the shortest walk possible and I had the hill to my house yet to do. That was when mummy's car came round the corner. Like an actual heaven moment. She had been to drop flowers and a card off at my house and then said I looked like death, did I want a lift home. So dad spun the car round and took me and Jack home. He even congratulated Jack....absolute shock. Hes even been telling people! didnt think he would be arsed if I am honest!!

I was soooooooooooooo grateful to be home and thanked mum and dad for the lift

I got in and dived into my bed where I stayed for the next 2 hours  

when I got up i felt in a much better mood and a bit better in general

Jack had been on the phone to his nan to tell her the news. She was THRILLED shes wanted our marriage more than anyone XD she cant wait to tell people 

i looked at the flowers and card mummy got us. Massive bouquet of flowers 0.0 shame they will die they are beautiful

we had a  cup of tea then I started on dinner as it was gonna be faffy, I didnt need jack's help so he went out the way cus I wanted to make mess by myself

I was making 2 types of pancakes

I made myself banana pancake mix which turned out ok, I had mine with chopped up orange and strawberries. Jack had normal pancake mix but I cooked his with bacon and baked beans. I put maple syrup on both of ours. Mine was more successful than I thought it was gonna be. Jack loved his as thats very much his kinda meal XD

Then I spent ages on the floor fussing loaf. Honestly me and that rabbit this weekend have spent a lot of time fussing one another. Youd think it was us two engaged XD we had to catch up on lost time cus id been away. I love him so much

I had been putting off cleaning the damn bathroom all day, not feeling like I had the energy for it. But thought if I start it I will just get on with it. Which is what I did.

I had a VERY hot bath. I was lobster Jo. I was determined to burn them aches off. It has helped

now I think we're gonna watch high school DxD, weve not watched an episode since tuesday night!

tomorrow

going for a dog walk with mia at 9:30am, I can tell her my news and also hear about how married life has been treating her. Suppose to rain heavy tomorrow tho T^T