Ahhhh tsukareta
Busy day of socializing, or what other wise be called
a "normal 23 year old's day"
but to me its shattering
This morning I had the pets to clean out then I knew Dom-kun
was on his way over at 10:30ish
So I didnt get a lot of time to myself but I got a few things done online
Dom came over we sat and talked an hour then headed into a town
for a pub lunch - I had pulled BBQ wrap ^^
and we went round a few shops I got a guinea ornament I plan
to give to mum at christmas time
Dom got a couple of books, being out together gave me the chance to tell him things
i told him I liked being with him and if this 18 year old girl he fancies, doesnt
want him then I will have him. He went quiet and told me I had made him
feel awkward XD I really got the impression there and then he has no
feelings for me so thats it now Ive said my peace im not saying
anymore as I am not looking like a needy girl
I simply asked him what he did with the t-shirt and charm I made him
just to find out that he had done something with them, he had, i went on to saying
"did you tell Rose I made em for you?"
"yes and this isnt a competition"
"i know im not in competition i was simply wondering what she thought as its
doctor who and I know she likes doctor who. I am in no way playing
a competition for you with an 18 year old"
"if you say so"
I do say so infact i am now actually peed off and hurt
as he still texts other people more than me and they get INSTANT replies
i have to WAIT A WHOLE WEEK
why!? I have known him the longest out of this Rose girl and his friends
I care the most for him and have the most respect for him
and I feel like I'm just there in the background
he also told me basically that i have the mind and body of a 14 year old
course I laughed it off but it actually hurt
He went for a test drive in his car i showed him where to practice
i was in the car with him it was strange but I was supportive
he dropped me off home and I asked to give me a text when he
gets to helina-chan's boyfriend's house as its a few miles away
and he hasnt driven for months
......did he text me.....no he sure as hell didnt
so im mad now and hurt
i feel like the closer i move to him the worse he treats me
its saddens me and even tho i have told him all this it doesnt seem
to be sinking in with him
im sick of being soft so thats it now forget it
i'll keep him at arms length i wont text him til a week later
it annoys me as he says "im busy im working" i totally 100% respect that
until i found out how much he texts rose - a girl he known a month
and that hes been producing free art work for her which obviously takes time
and he doesnt have any time for me - his 7 year long friend
so thats it now im hurt
not hurt because he doesnt love me i can deal with that
im hurt as i feel less than a friend to him, when he matters so much to me
next time i see him will be convention i dont know how im gonna be with him
Mia-chan texted to say she needed help with a dress she wanted to wear tonight
so i saw dom off and had mia over
she wanted a dress turning into a t-shirt for tonight which i did
she was happy and saw my guineas which she loved
it was nice to see her and i she heard me rant about dom
she went at 4:30pm
since then i have been online, stretching, shower, dinner
and would like to dance practice now~
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