Today I uploaded a dance I feel like I have been working
on for ages now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFtdAtLcCU8
feels good to get it done and to say i only uploaded it
a few hours ago it already has 50 views ^^
Today I sat and drew this morning
Im drawing a yoga picture for my yoga teacher Karen-san
shes lovely and I just want to do it for her
im not that far yet as I havent been able to do any more
since this morning ><
Then I had lunch outside and went out with mum
we went to the same shops as I went to with Mia yesterday :/
a bit annoying but I knew it was coming XD i dont mind really
then we went to the office and I knew I was gonna be quick this
week as I only needed one box, I also got told I can do
a 2 hour bday party tomorrow so I took the job ^^
It was nice to see everyone
Seth-san was showing me this really random game which im so gonna google
"petals of the rose"
bazaar game I couldnt understand and nether could Dan
Dan I told him "your quiet this week"
Dan "you think so?"
Me "year cus last week you were really irritating"
me and my big mouth
i turned round grabbed my box and went to walk to my car
when i was getting tickled and jabbed by Dan!!!! infuriating man!
how the hell did he know i was ticklish damn it =>.<=
then from there we went to a home store and picked up some bits
mainly for the garden but we also got new yoga mats
they are like luxury, they are soooooo padded so they feel much better on the bones
Mine is pink mum's is grey
then I came home and rested and went out for a walk with mia
she wanted a walk i really really couldnt be bothered
but i said to myself " dont be a fat lazy girl and go!! dont let mia down"
i was tired tho my legs hurt >.> we talked mainly about yesterdays walk with helina...
now Im home just sorting a few bits out on my laptop
and id like to draw but i havent danced properly lately
so i need to practice for next week!
Oh and as of today I am back on anti-depressiants......so no happy right now
i managed to come off them for 2 weeks but im started to crack
im not coping i know im not and i have told mum this a few times
and this morning she said
"i could tell you werent coping, your not the same person your awful,
and i wanted to tell you but i knew how much it meant to you coming
off tablets but i think you need them, i was gonna wait til you broke
but i thought til would be too late by then"
yeah cus i am at breaking point soon
so i gave in and took my pills. I HATE NEEDING MEDICINE
but im becoming my true self which is a horrible person
i am naturally a horrible spiteful selfish person
learning that thats how i am isnt nice and i decided to change myself
as i was upsetting my family, well what can i say - i take after my dad
so i bottle it up and put on a different persona, one people like
but when i am not feeling mentally strong my persona comes
crumbling down to revel the ugliness inside
so i need to be strong for the sake of those around me
oh and here's my lamp by the way~
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