Mental State

Good Day

Thank god today is cooler~
Apparently yesterday's heat wave caused a lot of people's small pets
to die D: shocking! I am so very grateful I still have all mine
they were so hot yesterday tho
I let Tiffin play out til 9:30pm simply because he was unable
to play out all day

Today I had reflex at 9:30am
So I headed off to Karen's~
She said her pond had turned into a jacuzzi with the heat
and so lost more 15 fish!! They hadnt realized it had heated the water up
so they tried to save as many as they could! awful
I was a lil annoyed as my feet gave me away...she looked at the and without 
even touching she said "have you been feeling down lately?"
damn my feet!! I have no idea how she can tell that just by looking
at my feet but then she has been doing reflexology for about 10 years
so we talked and I talked about things I never speak of
the thought in my head
We came to the conclusion that I am having Anorexic thoughts...
Her daughter has suffered with Anorexia for 5+ years
so Karen knows just a thing or too about the condition
I think she was quite shocked to hear just what goes off in this head of mine
im at war with myself all day long
I told her I had attempted to come off anti-depressiants  and it turns out I need em
there for I have depression
why cant I just have a normal mental state
I tried to talk to mum about it she called me mad =.=
I fight my head everyday i just fear the day im too weak to fight
the thoughts and go along with them
I will not get poorly again I will not go down that route
I must fight!!! I just want my head on my side damn it >.>

anyway came home and took mum to the doctors
as she still isnt feeling well, they think she has a water infection
so i have been tending to her needs today :)

I have been sewing my quilt anime blanket and its looking
really good I cant wait to see it on my wall!

We skipped yoga last night, I was feeling 100%
and mum was poorly, the weather was roasting
so we gave it a miss, we never miss yoga class tho ><

Tomorrow I have got to go to the office, woopie
a chore I hate doing I have to say
I shouldnt complain really
Other people have to travel further than me to get there

Id like to do some dancing but room is very hot =.=