I'm good at making mess

Konbanwa~

This morning was chilly >< but today has been warm :D
I started doing my crafts in the morning and through out the day really
i main cut up ready for sewing kinda thing
I also watched anime this morning

In the afternoon I went for a walk by myself
got sweaty >< i walked past my granny's house
I couldnt see her in the living room so I knew she was in bed
I crept round the back of the house and peered through her bedroom window
i could see her sound asleep on her bed so I decided not to call in and wake her
and so went home

I continued my craft and made mess
when i make mess it means progress
i have been like this for years XD
only good stuff comes out of mess

beautiful isnt it XD
I hate clearing it up but its satisfying when the area is tidy once again
I cut up these, 23 bunting flags

did 23 for my age when I made them kinda thing
and these will be on another bunting row
its suppose to be us as a family so me and my brother

and my mum and dad

i cant wait to do them its gonna be funny XD

tomorrow I have got the awful deed to do which is to go to the office
dump the kits down and tell them im quitting
i just want to get it over and done with, a clean break, no meal celebrating
how long ive worked there like the other staff members have had
i just want to leave and fast
im dreading them asking me "why you leaving?"
do I tell them the truth? it makes no difference tho If i did
it wouldnt change anything
theres gonna be no one left there soon

I will continue to look for jobs I did have a day off from that today
my dad does not want me to work in a school
i know it isnt his decision but he just keeps advising against it
but what are you suppose to do when thats plan A and you dont have a plan B?
I will cancel the meeting I have with the college on Tuesday
I can always book another at another date

granny is not doing good and we are going to be booking her into
a cancer home, for people who have terminal cancer
its a one way ticket, once you go in you dont come out
so its sad and we thought she would protest but she didnt
she told us she didnt want us worrying over her and that the home could
look after her all hours of the day, i just cant get my head round
that very shortly i will have no grandparents left and only 8 family members
our family is getting smaller and smaller
none of us were able to give granny a great grandchild or invite her to our weddings
its odd when i think of that way, that most of my friends have their grandparents still
and i just wont. i wouldnt mind so much if they died quick and pain free
but all my grandparents and family have suffered horrible deaths.
it sad and im struggling to come to terms with it all, to think about attending grannys
funeral brings tears to my eyes i dont know if i can go i know will have to
if nothing more than to support my mum
its amazing how hard life can get at times isnt it? and how fast things turn bad

anyway tomorrow I will visit granny with mum in the afternoon
and im gonna looks for jobs and do my crafts :)