I'm Quitting

Evening all~

My day started like any other day
having breakfast with the pigs trotting
i even went outside in the morning sun with tiffin
and had a cup of tea whilst reading out there with him
a nice normal day
i rang up my old college back from when i did my level 3 in 2010
i was still on record ^^ I have arranged a guidance meeting next week

I got a text at 7am from work saying "could you come do the kit
exchange at 11am instead of the usual 2pm"
I wasnt going, no way were they going to have my morning AND afternoon
all for the sake of £20 cus that would be all id get paid for all the hours
id be outside the house, so i went at the usual time of 2pm

i had lunch with mum  and set off earlier than i would do normally
on a friday to work, as i had an after school club to head straight for after
i had done the kit exchange the journey to office is 25mins and i do not get paid to go
i arrived at the office and met the new assistant branch manager Helen
she was nice enough and i told her i was here for my kits as i couldnt come this morning

emma had left my kits for me round in the lab
i ALWAYS check the kits before i take them as they are usually a mess and missing
crucial pieces, box 1 was a mess everything covered in corn flour and only just enough
equipment, box 2 hardly anything in it to last an hour and only just enough chemical so
i went rummaging through the lab and added a couple of things to do. and box 3 was 
disgraceful there was not enough to last an hour, and the equipment my manager had said
i needed to take to the school was unsurprisingly not there
last week i had refused to take a kit due to it being crap, this week as no one was there
to sort this out i left the kit and decided id pick up a better one next week
its shameful 

so i headed off to the school which was miles away
the school it's self was nice the kids were quit rowdy but i knew they
were just excited, i was getting out what little stuff i had to do the lesson with
and did my best, at the end of the lesson i had walked to the reception, to my car
and forgot my bag, ive never done that before so i had to go all the way back for it =.=

upon getting to my car i could feel tears stinging my eyes
i got in my car and thought "just what am i doing with my life?"
i drove home crying...
i had been out the house 1:15pm and got back 5pm and was earning a total of £20
thats what im doing with my life
im running round ragged for mad science, not getting an ounce of gratitude, working
and traveling for hours and getting paid pence and working with poor equipment.

i got home and sobbed to mum, you know when your that upset you sound like 
a child crying, well i do, my face burned with tears
i said to mum "i dont want to return, i dont want to go, i cant do it anymore"
mum and dad have always said how crap mad science is
so they support my decision
but this leads to another problem, what do i do about money? i need a career
but its not that simple for me...im still sick...so the idea of working 9 til 5
is still not possible for me which made me cry more
"what employer wants someone who cant work full days?"
"i dont have any qualifications that matter to any employer"
i suggested that i quit, live carefully on my saving and volunteer at my old primary school
to see if i do want to work with children, then in the new year start a college course
the college course im thinking of doing says that you need to do 14 hours per week
in a primary school, so i suppose volunteering at a primary school will get me
set up for that and make my decision if thats the path i want to take.

i just cant go back there
they asked me to work sunday as theres a marathon through our city
i have no idea what science has to do with a marathon
and when i asked Helen today she had no clue....i asked her for the parking permits my
manager had said she'd give me (as its in the city and no where to park)
but Helen said "theres only one, im taking emma we can fit you in the car too"
so ive gotta drive to the office to get a lift to the event on sunday
slight catch, ive got to be at the office 7:15am
arrive at the event before 8am (due to road closers for the marathon)
then wait. and wait for 3 hours as the event isnt starting til 11:30am
so im being asked to once again waste my time for mad science
for an event i have no idea what im doing at
i dont want to go i cant ive had enough
its no shock how they have next to no staff and no body want to have the job
the head manager owner guy his attitude is "if you dont like it, leave, i can hire new presenters"
so hes not even remotely interested in his staff
 mum and dad have told me not to go sunday
i have never skipped out on work
but what does it matter im not going back
with the job being werid and stupid im classed as "self employed" so i  can
leave when ever i like i dont need to give notice
well ether way theyre not getting it
i will give the kits back monday and that will be it

so now im tired and my eyes hurt
ive texted a few friends, who have offered to ring me, but i turned them down
as i didnt want to get upset again
but mia is meeting me at 8am for a walk before she goes out for the day
so im glad i get to see her

my moan over with
i will do something with myself i wont sit back on my arse - thats not me
but nether will i make myself ill again and run ragged after a crap company
for £20, im done