Happy Halloween All~
I didn't sleep that well last night
but managed to wake up 8:50am
so I wasn't too late to help out with cleaning the pets out
As tiffin was in need of a full clean, my god he is the most
untidy-est rabbit i have ever known!
Kip would be turning in his grave if he could see the state of his hutch now!
I spent the morning uploading a load of stuff for halloween
as last night you would not believe the mad dash i had
My family decided to order pizza in =.=
I started making my own pizza using granary bread
I had a slice and said to my parents id have another when they come home
i wasnt wanting to eat a lot seeing as i had stuff my face with cake and biscuits - my weakness!
My dad said he'd bring me a pizza home anyway
I protested saying id only waste it
to which my brother's eyes lit up at the prospect of having "extra" pizza >.>
So they went out for a drink and would bring pizza home
I was home alone. the first time all week!
So it one of those "now or never" moments
so I got to work and in an hour I had rehearsed, got dressed up, recorded a dance
and i did that for 2 dances too!
I was sweating like mad!
I was editing the videos whilst putting my outfits away which were
all over my bedroom floor
My family came home with pizza
i was really not looking forward to it
i cant say i enjoy take-away, not in the slightest
but i felt pressurized to eat it
so i ate half, the other half went down my brother's trap
All evening then i thought about food, what i had eaten and how i just
wanted it out of my body. theyre not the ones who has a head saying
at 10pm to starve myself the next day =.=
where does that even come from!? its not normal - i used to think it was
So today I went for a lil walk after i had uploaded my 3 videos
and 3 images on deviant art
the autumn sun was nice
I then had a rest and read
Then Ive been with tiffin sorting out my wardrobe
not it's content but the front panels of it
i wanted to change em so i was flicking through anime mags
I emailed my dad the other night for him to order
the frame for my granny's memorial picture
he is used to ebay and is always buying off it
i had wrote down what size and colour frame needs to be ordered
and what did he do....he just clicked BUY
he didnt even look at the options!
So when it arrived today I was just annoyed at the site of an
8"x6" frame instead of 16"x12" frame
so my brother ordered it again but now i have to wait til next week!!!
useless
anyway i hope everyone enjoyed their halloween
i did nothing for it T^T im so sad as i really really wanted to celebrate it
my friends are all going to halloween parties or down town
and im at home sorting my wardrobe out =.=
i think ive missed something here?
anyway happy halloween
heres my uploads for 2015 Halloween!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL1cPA9GdeQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2aUQAa6Y68
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=au_gZ7Id0eg
i am so sick of the stupid fireworks
every time they go off i cant help but worry about my pets
Good Evening~
I slept so bad last night!!!!
I kept waking up laying in pain
man one night i actually wanted to sleep and i didnt
so it was 9:30am by the time i awoke
but in a way i was glad i woke late
as it meant less waiting around for the funeral
We all got our selves ready
it was drizzling outside
just before i left the house i started to feel very very nervous
but when i got in the car we were all chatting and joking
so it put me at ease.
my cousins met us in the chapel car park
my uncle and oliver were in a suit and tie!
granted my brother had a shirt on and offered a tie
but the less said about my dad the better
we met up with everyone and waited for granny to arrive
honestly even when she was alive we were waiting around for her XD
It was nice to see my cousins and they were laughing
and joking with me and my brother
then the Hurst showed up
mum started crying at this point i gave her a cuddle
we all were there to support her
so then we walked in after granny i started to feel nervous once again
I saw the vicar from tuesday and the singer/granny's friend came
i recognized her straight away, i had seen her at a vintage fair before!
so i knew she was gonna be good
so luckily we never had to sing!!!! great! granny knew how we all
hated singing, singing songs sorry hymns that none of us knew is cringing
i sat there my heart was going a million miles per hour i couldnt believe
how much it was pounding and how fast! i had mum next to me who was clearly upset
i was keeping it together i was doing so well and concentrating on my breathing
but it was the final bit that made the tears run
it was my eulogy, my words about granny
they made me and mum upset but they were good words and made people laugh
so a good way to finish
everyone came out and talked about the service as you do
me, my brother and cousins stood around and got talked to
by many people we had no idea who they were just have to be polite to em
oliver came up to me and said my eulogy was "ace" he thought it was good ^^
i really needed a wee so i couldnt wait for people to leave
but at least when we came out of the chapel it had stopped raining
we set off home my cousins came along with granny's best friend & her daughter
and an ex-neighbour of grannys
we had cakes, biscuits and cobs
it was nice having a chat with everyone
mainly my cousins ^^
the 3 guests left leaving just family
so my cousins stayed til 4:30pm
it was nice but i was getting tired
the pets hadnt been out since 9am so they were itching to play
in fact upon opening the back door pinky started doing mega squeaks at us
like yelling at us that she wanted to stretch her legs
so even tho it was wet out i put em out and they enjoyed it
so thats it all done and dusted now :)
im glad granny is finally able to be put to rest
i showed my family the memorial picture i did
and they thought it was good :)
Oh I know its random but here's the halloween picture i drew~
Konbanwa
I had an alright night's sleep
apart from having a terrible pain from my belly button
i couldnt shake it off it was stabbing me ><
I ached from yoga too she really worked us
I woke up feeling crippled from yoga
my shoulders and thighs killed
it was indoor play for all pets
tiffin had been let out early by my dad before
the rain had come over
so i was glad he could do his toilet duties outside
that squirrel is annoying all of us tho
but im glad its not going after tiffin like the last one
I went to the flower shop again with mum =.=
3 times in one bloody week
but we're done there now thank god
i continued to work on grannys memorial piece
and i got it done
i didnt need to add to much to it really
we're all pleased with it just got to wait for the
frame to arrive now :)
I did some dancing in my room as i felt like i wanted to
so i thought sod it, i knew everyone was home but
i just wanted to enjoy myself
i tried to record a dance but its not the same in my room
its been annoying as my brother is home 24/7 due to half term
and my mum has been off what with granny and stuff
so i never get time alone and i really wanted to upload
some halloween dances!!!!!
i went to sleep for 2 hours
cus i felt like it
sod it haha
i went over to mia's and had a catch up with her
exchanged manga books and gave each other an anime to watch
we talked for an hour then her boyfriend came over
so us 3 sat and chatted til 8pm then i said id go
i felt in the way, i know i wasnt, but i still wanted mia to have alone time with him
tomorrow we have the delightful funeral =.=
a day i just want to get out the way
really not looking forward to it
but mum had made cakes
every cloud has a silver lining right ;)
Evening~
Today I woke up 8:20am
a good time, I had a sorta alright night's sleep
It was pouring down this morning so pets were inside
including Tiffin, he rarely comes inside in the mornings
I made a start on granny's memorial picture
I had gathered all the pieces together, and roughly layed them out
so I have been sitting for quite some time today doing it
I got really far actually
I have stuck all the paper down
so tomorrow I will stick down the objects
like jewelry and broaches
On the picture I have used so far
a telegram from France congratulating them on their wedding (god knows where is came from)
a wedding gift tag
couple of wedding decorations
50th golden wedding anniversary item they had on their cake
picture from a 2005 leaflet of Pendelfin (a rabbit ornament granny liked to collect)
a cut out of a birthday card granny signed
A5 page from granny's notepad from a recipe she wrote down
I tea stained the A5 page - as she liked her tea
A photo from their 50th anniversary
a cut out from a anniversary card
photo of granny young
photo of granny wearing her orange fleece she must have owned 20 years
a card cut out signed by papa
granny's "identification card" (guessing from the war days cus never seen one before)
a cut out from a newspaper from years ago a poem she liked (not sure of significance)
photo of granny enjoying her food years ago (she loved her food)
a cut out from a card mum gave granny for mother's day
so yeah i had quite a lot to go on
the picture is 14" x 10"
we're gonna buy a box frame for it to go in
i went to the flower shop with mum
to drop off the cards we wrote for granny to go beside her flowers
as the funeral
then we went for a lil walk
i had a lil rest but didnt fall asleepp
i couldnt stop thinking about the picture i was doing
mia came over after dinner for 10mins to pick her car up
dad talked her through about her MOT and stuff and what work
it does need in the future
i dont think she's ever been told things about her car
so she was very grateful
we said we'd meet up tomorrow for a walk
thats it really :)
GoOd eVeNinG
I slept bad again
but not as bad as the previous night
i did wake up in the night wet threw
i got up straight away and ran to the toilet
i honestly thought i had wet myself i was that wet
id had a dream about a fire starting but i couldnt move to tell
my family to get out the house, must have made me sweat
i hadnt wet the bed thank god, but it was damp were i had sweated
how is it possible to sweat that much!?
i was sure to change my bed today!
I got woke up tho at 7:45am who dares to wake me!?
mia, she rang my phone
all in a flap about her MOT my dad is doing for her tomorrow
its the first time she has used my dad and she was asking
questions but i reassured her
honestly >.>
I answered the phone "this better be good"
she laughed then said "have i just woke you?"
you have no idea!!!
Alwell~
Today we had the Vicar coming over to talk about
granny's funeral on friday
but before then i went to granny's by myself
i wanted to find any bits and pieces i could use for her art work decication
but you know what, mum and dad really had thrown EVERYTHING away
really peed me off, i mean what is the rush!?
so there was nothing around, what am i suppose to work with
when they heartlessly threw everything away of hers
so i went and got the ladders and went into the roof
i discovered her photos, wedding stuff and saved cards
so i brought them home
mum was cross at me that id been in the roof by myself
and i gave it some thought and yeah it was stupid of me to have done that
if any thing had happened to those ladders id be screwed
and i didnt have my phone on me ether!
so i promised i wouldnt do it again
the vicar came over i told him i was expecting
the white collar look, he was in a suit :/ slightly disappointed i have to say
anyway he talked us through the arrangements
he really liked my eulogy 0.0 i was shocked
he said he would finish the funeral using my eulogy as it was a sweet
memory and might make people laugh rather than cry
so that went ok, better than i thought
i ALWAYS cringe when people read my stuff
i think it stems from my school days
i had a horrible english teacher who would read my stuff
and constantly pick fault with it, my dad would pick fault too
we had lunch then me and mum went out as a home shop
was having a "sale" sale my butt it was rubbish!
so we walked in and out
came home and i went to bed i was shattered
i stayed there for a while i was comfy
then i have been sat looking through grannys pieces
planning her artwork
might start it tomorrow :)
its just sad in a way, i found so many memories
so many photos and things, she had never showed me or mum
any of them, never talked about them
i have so many questions but no one can answer them
i wish she wasnt so private and had shared her life more
tiffin has got problems with a squirrel
its not going after him but he doesnt like it in the garden
i didnt do any dancing today
id like to maybe but i havent been in the mood :(
feel like im letting people down
Konbanwa~
Last night, it was just shocking
I was so very tired yesterday and the time to climb
into bed wasnt coming round quick enough
but when i finally got into bed i couldnt sleep
had i gone past the stage of being tired? it was like being jet lagged
so i layed there hours on end, just in pain and tired
i almost got up but i refused to give in
so eventually i got 3 hours sleep...woohoo...>.>
mum woke me up at 8am as I had karen's at 9am
i did not want to get up, i felt really annoyed
So I got to Karen's, i decided to have reflex, to boost my energy up
problem with reflex is that you tend to feel rubbish before you feel better for it
she looked at my feet, and she sighed straight away
i said "they look that good do they?"
she said "I can see youve feeling low arent you"
i said yeah, and on a better a day - a day ive slept - i would have talked a bit
about my problems with her, but i wasnt in the mood i couldnt function
and i could i feel that i was sensitive so i didnt want to cry in front of her
came home and had a cup of tea
and put the pets outside which they enjoyed
tiffin was a bit grouchy today tho XD
I photographed my pumpkin
and I also took a halloweeny photo of millie and alice
which i will upload on halloween :D
I fell asleep i was exhausted
then when i woke i decided that i needed to go
for a walk, i couldnt be bothered and mum offered to come
but i told her not to, i wasnt in the mood to talk
so i went and had 30min walk
came home and drew a bit more
and altered photos
i doubt i'll get a dance done tomorrow
ive learned one just about but im just not in the mood right now
but i could be different tomorrow
i can feel my depression gripping me
i hate admitting i have depression, but it is real, and it there
and every so often i fall into it
and i can tell over the last week ive been falling into it
i'll be fine soon i know it
anyway heres my pumpkin plushie
im so proud of it
i cant stop looking at it ^^
Good Evening~
God knows what time I did actually get up today
what with the clocks going back
does my head in sometimes
as some things alter their own time, other dont
others my parents do, others they forget to do
so im like "what is the actual time here!?"
I got ready to go to lynn in the morning
seeing as i had nothing else planned i thought
might as well head over
I went to the local shop on the way to withdraw money
for karen's tomorrow and I brought Lynn some flowers
usually i bake a treat to take over but what with her
being on her new diet i wasnt sure what she was/wasn't eating
i didnt want to tempt her to the dark side XD
I got to hers and her dog Todd was so happy to see me
I played around with him a lot during the day
he has this hilarious toy, just like dogs have squeaker toys
this one was a pig and it's "squeaker" sounded like
a pig snorting so watching todd continuously bitting down
on this pig i was laughing so much, it sounded so realistic!
We went upstairs and did some sewing
i made my pumpkin!!!! yes ^^
I was well happy with it
I will be sure to photograph it tomorrow!
SO cute and its a pumpkin ^^
Lynn was doing her christmas cushions to hopefully sell
Dinner was ready at 3pm
my god it was massive as usual 0.0
it was beef roast and just amazing everything cooked to perfection
i dont know how she does it!!!
i was dying of full-ness but i didnt want to give in!
even tho my head was screaming at me, i was not wasting it
by the end of it all i thought i was gonna explode
and her and husband discussed pudding 0.0 pudding....seriously!?
how the hell do they have room!!? they ate it like it was nothing!
mental, i had to wait over an hour before i had room for a bloody drink
we took the dog on the shortest walk ever
lynn was doing so well i could tell she was finding it difficult
we came back and finished up sewing
and set off at 6pm
so i was over a good 6+ hours
it was nice to finally see em both
im just shattered now ><
so im home now popping bits away
tiffin is with me, but mum has kindly let him out
and the piglets out whilst ive been at lynns
thats always a worry on my mind - have the pets been out?
but something sad happened today
i finished reading the series i was reading ><
kiere hudson series by tim someone or other
i read the 1st season thought id try the 2nd and was hooker
theres 10 books per season
i found out season 3 is out but only the first 6 books
so im gonna wait til theyre all out before i start season 3
but im at a loss now, i dont know what book to read
ive been reading kiera hudson for weeks!
gonna practice halloween dancing for this week~
i hope i can get em done in time!
Evening all
I couldnt sleep last night
and when i did sleep, pain woke me up
my pain has been bad now for a while
but i know if i go to the doctors they wont do anything for me
and i dont fancy being on any more medication
My head has been bad too im at war with my thoughts
I woke up well late 9:30am =.=
i was really annoyed
worst of all i had missed loads in the time i was asleep
mum had put all the pets outside first morning in a long while
as its been too cold and wet for em to play out first thing
so we bring them whilst we have breakfast
so she had done that and put their toys out
then it began to rain, so she cleaned them all out
took them home and put the toys away 0.0
she did all that whilst i was asleep, i hadnt helped at all
so it was quite odd for me to get up and not have to do
any pet duties, it was like they had gone missing
but i still went to see tiffin
we have seen another squirrel in the garden...
smaller one but it is coming on the nuts and running
in the garden and get tiffin on high alert
i dont want to see another dead animal ><
I started cleaning my room, seeing as it was pouring
down outside. and then went on youtube looking for
dances to do. i must have a list of like 100 i want to do ><
Currently Im learning Halloween dances X3 I love it
I did a bit more drawing
getting further with it but it needs to be done for next sunday!
I had lunch, well my family ate their lunch
mum left stuff out for me to do my own
i went to it and my head was really going off on one at me
so i walked away and thought id tackle it when my head calms down
went to make lunch a second time and couldnt make a decision
mum offered to make me something, if someone makes it
i tend to eat it.
so she did me a sandwich all that stress over a freakin sandwich
its not normal and drives me up the wall
i was trying to go for a walk with mia but it would
not stop raining, i was in pain
and thought "sod it" i went to bed for an hour
i didnt want to get up i could have just stayed there but i got up
mia had txt to say she had been for a walk
so i went by myself i did a 45min walk
i was shattered but if it shuts my head up and maybe sleep better
then its worth it, i was a lil wet tho as it rained on me
i brought tiffin in to help me decide on what i was gonna
sew at lynn's tomorrow, i decided to make a pumpkin plushie
i didnt buy that ornament pumpkin yesterday so im gonna make my own
but with all the fabric i have the one colour i seem to lack is orange!!
so i had ALL my fabric out tiffin thought it was great XD
so i packed my bag ready to go to hers tomorrow for sunday lunch ^^
another reason why i didnt want to eat loads today
cus i know id be eating my body weight in sunday lunch!
im gonna dance now, sit with pets then do my nails~
