My beloved Granny

Evening

Today it is the day I lost my last grandparent
Granny left this world today
I'm so glad shes finally able to be pain free and rest and be re-united with papa
i know they will be together right now thats the kinda people they were
married for 50+ years and loved each other dearly
they even held hands when they went to bed at night which i thought was sweet!
Yeah it happened today...mum and dad went to visit her at about 4ish 
mum said granny's breathing was very noisy and she just didnt look good sleeping
in the end my mum even had to step outside for some air, it was all getting to her
so they said their goodbyes and went home. as soon as they got home
mum decided to text granny's friend - just let her know how granny was today
at that moment mum's phone rang. it was the nurse they were with 30mins ago
she rang to say granny had passed on in her sleep

all i heard was mum sobbing coming up the stairs, i had no idea what
had happened, so i went straight away to mum who collapsed on her bed
she told me granny had gone.
in that moment i did shed tears but it wasnt for granny it was for mum
well i usually cry at the sight of her crying ><" but i felt sad for mum
she was now parent-less like dad 
she kept saying "i cant believe shes gone. are they sure they have the right person? 
she looked so peaceful and i was only there less than an hour ago. she didnt
look like she was dying to me"
so i cuddled mum and told her
"it was granny's time mum, i bet she waited for you, she held on til you came to visit her
this afternoon. then she waited for you to leave. granny didnt want you to see her pass away. thats very much how granny is right? she was granny to the end, selfish-less granny"
mum told me that when they arrived at granny despite granny being asleep
a tear fell from her face and her nose ran, some mum wiped her up
i said "i bet she was crying in her sleep, maybe of relief that you had finally come or maybe she was sad to leave you" we will never know as granny hasnt been conscience for us for a few days
mum was upset and sat and comforted her, since then shes just been randomly crying but shes allowed. i havent cried since when i saw mum crying first. ive been ok surprisingly 
 maybe because ive cried so much over these last few weeks
or maybe i may cry later on

it probably sounds cruel to say that im glad shes gone today
but i mean it with good intentions, she wasnt happy towards the end
it was no life for her.and she was becoming in pain and uncomfortable 
so now i know she can rest, no more cancer, no more meds, no more pain
i will always love her, granny and papa were an awsum team i will never forget them
it feels a bit surreal right now that im never gonna see em again
theres just 8 members of the family now...8

dad made a few calls to friends, distant family and my uncle
filled them in, mum had to go out the room whilst he did it
as he does it in such a cheery manner it makes us feel sick
i know he's soulless but come on 
dad did something very strange earlier - well 2 strange things
1. he came into my room
2. he asked if i was alright
0.0 what odd behavior! but then he went on and told me he'd rang around

this morning anyway i woke up 9:15am >.>
i have been sat drawing ideas for a hoodie. still havent decided on a design
its annoying me now!
i sat and did some of dom's thing. ive done 4 doctors out of 12 :D
i went to get my passport photo done with mum and dad
those photobooths are awful, i mean what do they do to your face!?
i look like a freakin convict!!! and i have a fat face
so now i have my original passport were im 5/6 years old looking like a gorm
my driving license  were im 17 and i look like the grim reaper
and my new passport to be were im 23 looking like convict =.=
i give up
but seeing how fat my face was sent  my head into over drive
mums face looked fat too, gave us like a hamster face  :/
anyway

i went for a lil walk for some fresh air
then got the news and ive just been in my room sorting hoodies and stuff
i took a photo of my hot air balloon shirt too :)

anyway thats all for now
i wonder if any of us will be able to sleep tonight
ive told mum im gonna support her through all the crap thats got to come
i will always love my granny
my final words to her were "i love you granny"