Good Evening~
Ahhhh tomorrow I go away!
I didn't sleep well cus you dont when you cant breathe
I kept waking up from 6am then eventually got up at 7:45am for a drink
and to sort myself out with medication and stuff
eventually by 10am my voice was a lot better but not perfect.
This morning I helped mum do the BBQ meat
Then I rang lynn as I was meant to talk to her friday but I had no voice
we arranged to go derby on Thursday :D I hope we can go but it depends
on her husband's health.
Then around 11am Mia came over~
Her boyfriend went to a motorbike show so she came over here
I didnt mind so much. I had warned her that
Im sick
I need to pack
and Im tired
but she doesnt seem to get hints ^^"
We sat at the kitchen table drawing, her drawings are amazing
I hope she manages to do something with them
I was drawing on my laptop so im there doing digital and shes doing traditional XD
I managed to get a few jobs done, just stuff Ive been putting off really
like updating my art website on facebook and stuff
I looked and the last time I went on my facebook craft page was 22nd November 2015!!!!
Yeah my facebook really does collect dust -___-
So here's my icon thing, its a fox i photographed on a poster of mine and i just re-drew and re-coloured you know the usual
Then this is the border title bit at the top of the page, its easier to read than last time
here's my first ones, theyre not bad but it needed a fresh look i think
not that im expecting any work to come my work i just thought id freshen it up cus i had the time.
Me and mia had lunch, chatted, ate sweets, drank brews. it was nice :)
Ive been sticking to my green lemon tea. I have noticed my face has improved lots
but i did use a face mask the other day and it made me flare out at bit >.> wont be using that
one for a while haha but im gonna stick with green tea :)
We talked about our 20th anniversary coming up in september
we told my brother and he gave the same response as mum and mia's boyfriend
"lesbians"
-____-
Whats up with celebrating 20 years of friendship!?
So were gonna get together on friday and book to go away in september
just the two of us ^^
Not that I wanted to get rid of mia far from it
but I was tired and i needed to pack
mum and dad came home at 4pm and basically kindly asked her kindly to leave
i hate it
really hate it
i know theyre right and they did it instead of me cus they know i wont give in
but mia was totally cool about it :)
as soon as she went i went to bed
I didnt fall asleep as i couldnt breathe but the rest was good
then got up and packed, just got stuff to pack in the morning like make-up
i found it tricky picking my outfits as ed always says im scruffy and he doesnt get my style
but we just have different styles. i do try and dress more presentable round him
but i dont want to be wearing my work/school wear you know?
So tomorrow I need to be at the city station for 10:17am
we should arrive at Sheffield/South Yorkshire at 11ish
we cant check in til 2pm so were gonna drop our stuff off and go look round the town
im excited to go and excited to see ed
cant believe its the last time i see him for 6 montsh
hes going away start of july til christmas T^T
anyway so I wont be doing a diary/blog entry til wednesday~
Good Day~
I woke up half dead, my throat hurt to swallow
not impressed >.> mum woke me at 8:15 as we wanted to get off
to Tesco early to get my swim wear
So we let the pets out as usual but I would clean them out when I got home
Tesco didnt have that much to choose from, the whole while im just looking
at the most covered up garments i can find XD old habits die hard
bikinis, there just too much skin showing for me. I may as well be a nun at times XD
I found 2 but 1 I liked much more than the other
Mum stood waiting outside my changing room.
I tried on thr size 8 which is what I am day to day for last god knows how many years
I got it on but felt a bit restricted and i didnt like the tightness on my butt
So I got mum to look and she said "swim wear is tighter your just not used to it but maybe try a 10"
Mum went to find me a 10, I tried it on and it was much better I didnt feel so tight in it
but I can not remember the last night i NEEDED a size10 must be years
have I put weight on? D:
But anyway I was pleased with my purchase, Its not a bikini so I can wear it to normal swimming pools and stuff so at at £16 heres my new swim suit
Its a halter neck and it has a little skirt bit to cover the tops of my legs i really like it ^^
Its been a while since I have a swim suit that wasnt black or blue XD
I came home and cleaned the pets out
I wrote a list of stuff I need to pack, did some reading
Had lunch and went to bed, i only went for some rest but ended off falling asleep
so when I got up I went over to Helina's house
she was telling me all about her japan holiday. I havent seen the photos yet shes yet to sort them out but it sounds like she had a good time. Apart from coming home with a mosquito bite in the corner of her eye which has made all around her eye purple and red. she looks like shes been in a fight!
She brought me these
A sticker of lovelive's new season group Aquours
she was randomly given it and knows how much i like love live so she i may as well have it ^^
A cute badge that is the size of my palm! its huge!
A little pikachu plug in, but pikachu is in a maid costume!!! i loved it ^^
And some random sweeties i have yet to try~
I came home for some medication i brought from tescos to help the symptoms i have
but theyres making me feel really sick and shaky >.>
Since then Ive done some more reading and cooked myself i pizza XD
I hope to get a lil dancing done tonight
youtube still wont let me upload my dances :/ i think my firefox needs updating
I will be painting my nails tonight~
Tomorrow I am gonna pack then mia is coming over to do some drawing and yoga
she doesnt do yoga so i shall be teacher~
Evening~
I woke up this morning feeling as rough as hell
my sinuses hurt my nose felt blocked and throat felt like sand paper
i thought "jeez again!?" i seem to always get poorly when I get time off
also it was only last week that I was poorly!!!!
So my voice has been quite hoarse all day and sore
This morning I went to karen's for reflexology
she said my health was quite bad - my sinuses were really bad
it was nice to talk to her and she thanked me for her birthday presents too ^^
I came home and had a brew before starting up my homework
I worked out that I have 3 weeks to do it, so I dont feel pressured to do it
over the whole week off
I had lunch then at 12:25pm I went to the dentist, i hate going dentist
but it is better now days since Ive been going to Mia's surgery its nice to be treated by her :)
Shes looking forward to coming over on sunday~
I came home and went to bed, i was exhausted and felt ill
I had Ed waiting for me to skype him, i did feel bad that I was keeping him waiting
but jeez I needed a bloody rest
Then I skyped him for almost 2 hours, i felt awful and my voice was going
But we got it sorted and he had received the notebook and puzzle ^^
I photographed the pages and the puzzle
Took me quite a few hours to say the least
i hope he likes it
We decided to go to sheffield
ive not been and its not far to travel, Ed wants to do a spa treatment
so he found a hotel which has its own spa facilities
I wasnt too keen just cus of the pure expensive
and we would have breakfast and dinner there, i felt we would be under the same roof for ages
but he said it would be a different experience and i agreed
So we booked to go from this coming monday til wednesday
Its a last minute thing but im looking forward to it
just one slight little problem...
I need a swim suit.... -_____-
Im fine with swim suits but Ed told im gonna look outta place with a one piece
as most people wear bikinis and other relaxed form of swim wear
I said "i have never ever worn a bikini! I cant show that much skin!!"
He said "everyone will be wearing the same thing dont worry, also you go round wearing a robe"
thats all well and good but he isnt a girl, he doesnt have the same issues we woman have about our bodies, well most guys dont anyway.
so i said "i'll wear a tankini then" he said "whats that?" I said "it covers the same as a one piece but its in 2 pieces" XD
Im not liking the idea of a bikini
my other issue about them is that....I....can't fill them..... ^^;
Tomorrow morning me and mum are heading down to tesco to go and find me something to wear
i need an opinion on this
if tesco dont have anything i shall drag mia TK MAXX on sunday
Since then I havent done a lot, gonna write my list of stuff to take
away and maybe think of my outfits
tomorrow not got much planned might plan a t-shirt sailor top :)
For some reason youtube kept dying when i tried to upload my dance
so i will try again tomorrow
Otsukaresama deshita~
Yoga was tough last night i enjoyed it but I felt a few cracks
and my teacher was putting me into the splits position, im almost there
my aim is by the end of the year to be able to do them!!!
I got up for school, my sinuses still hurting me from monday
I put on a shirt and leggings, a change from a skirt or shorts anyway
And for a change I crimped some of my hair X3
Before I left the house I used my new lip stick too ^^
Then I cycled off to school~
Arriving at school I was told that year 5 & 6 had a theatre production to watch
which meant I had a very easy morning!
So for the next hour and 3/4 we sat and watched a performance based on healthy eating
but it touched upon points about bullying, relationships with parents and life style
The kids liked it, they were asked to do feedback and only 2 of them didnt like it
saying it was "boring" but come on its gotta be better than doing english and maths right!?
then it was break time then after break they printed off their work so that was easy as
all i was doing was tidying up and reading what they had printed off
Then they were told the parts they would be playing in their up coming play
Cinderella and Rocker Fella or something - never heard of it
ohhh and this was like opening a can of worms
some kids were elated on what parts they got, then some were not so pleased...
we've had a few tears. i tell you its more stress than its bloody worth!
But they have got to learn they cant have everything in life
Some of them got the tasks of doing costume and sound effects which I thought was nice
as there are some kids who dont want to be on stage
lunch time i sat drinking my green tea with lemon~ whilst doing homework
got another paragraph done. these sections are long man. i cant answer them in 5 lines anyway its like a whole A4 per question!! The teachers take note that im always doing my work
i said to them "trust me when this is over i'll be playing on my gameboy" XD
After lunch they did a bit of sorting out then went to read to youngest class
the littlen's loved it i had to be firm with a year 6 who couldnt be bothered
i won and i felt satisfied as i dont want to be walked all over
coming back to the class room one year 6 was 'singing' but i think she thought she was at the opera it was loud and awful and wasnt stopping i shouted "that's enough!!" and she stopped and another girl turned to me said "you just shouted" they hadnt seen me raise my voice before!
i only did it to shout over her so called singing XD
Then we played Wink murder for the last half hour
easy day still tiring tho
came home, had a brew and went to bed
Since then I have been catching up online and checking out where me and Ed
can go away to for a few days as he's suddenly decided he wants to
see me during half term! last minute or what!!
Here are my awesome and simple nails!
Good Evening~
Im currently working on my coursework -____-
I woke up at 5:30am >.> I managed to get to sleep after a while that
sleep I had during 6something and 8:45am was deep and I had a strong dream
I was in an abandoned town, I was with my friend until I got split up
I tried to find them but I could never quite reach them
Then my little nightmare guy came, he usually takes the form of a guy
who asked me out in high school, weird and i dont usually get why
so I was being chased by him, hes strong and pinned me down or against
walls no end of times. I woke up just as he was about to rape me
sick
This morning I went out to do basic errands with mum
I couldnt really be arsed but seeing as she cleaned the guineas out I thought id
better go with her :) Oh I cleaned tiffin out too, whilst he 'helped' -__-
We just went Wilkos, Post office (posted Ed's gift), Morrisons and Boots
From Morrisons I picked up green tea with lemon, Ive always wanted to try green tea
but people's opinions are very mixed when i asked about it. Its ether "its horrible" or "its refreshing"
I know it has a lot of good properties, a couple of people recommended the one with lemon
saying it was nicer that way. I tried it and I liked it, just like herbal lemon tea~
From boots I picked up a moisturizing lipstick, I dont own a lipstick nor do I ever wear it
I can't stand it on my lips, the texture, the smell. just eww
I dont like lipgloss ether as ive had it on before and couldnt wait to get it off i hated it the feel of it.
So I usually just use lip balms, lightly glittered ones or red ones.
But I found a lip stick which is a combination of lip stick and lip balm
So I thought Id give it a go it was only £1.99 If i dont like it mum might use it
I got a very light candy pink :3 Mia always wears such stark colours no way would I look right.
Came back and had lunch then had pets inside as it was raining
i went to bed as i do on a wednesday, mum woke me with millie X3
She was tired bless her. she wanted her afternoon sleep
Tiffin has been in a mood all day >.>
Then I sat and watched an episode of YuriYuri with tiffin
since then ive been doing my coursework T^T its boring the pants off me
doing about psychologists and their theories how children develop
I got a jacket through the post today~
And I washed another top I got through the post
looks better on than off
Ive had a lot of compliments on my nails I did last night
a year 6 had inspired me to do them, so easy and effective. I shall take a photo
tomorrow i am going school!
Evening~
I woke up this morning with my ears popping and cracking
my face feeling pressured and the sides of my ears bruised from
me pressing so hard on them -______-
Dad had asked me last night how I'd got on
I knew exactly he'd react and I guess right he just said
"pathetic"
So going to a place ive never been before, trying to help my condition
trying to help my pain and fatigue. Being locked in a tank and going through
the most immense pain ive ever been in, makes me pathetic.
My ears slowly over the day have gotten better, theyre not 100% but getting there
I went out shopping with mum today
It was the first time ive been in her new car, its nice ^^ its a purpley blue quasquai
We went round 3 shops; NEXT clearance, Matalan and TK MAXX
Mum got 2 t-shirts I got 2 t-shirts but then 2 plain t-shirts as I have plans to alter them
well they were only £2 each from next, it would cost more to shop at Primark
and that's saying something XD
Here are my t-shirts~
From next clearance for £4
From Matalan for £6 - I love tops with the strings at the top X3 also it short at the front long at the back how cool is that!?
both of them I can wear for work~
Then as a little cute extra I picked this up for £2
fluffy hair bobble but Im gonna use it as a hair bobble and a wrist decoration~
We came home, had lunch, sorted clothes out
and I went to bed exhausted
When I got up I went online for a lil while
I brought a few beauty products actually
I just felt in a girly mood and wanted to try new stuff
I order;
Whitening cream (for face) - £7
Pressed powder with powder puff (for face) - £6
Too Faced chocolate eye shadow set (for eyes) - £6
of course I shopped around getting best price I could
I spoke to mum before my purchases and she said give em a go
we share make-up so I asked her if she'd like to use em and she wants to use
the eye shadow :)
Then Ed's Anime jigsaw puzzle came in the post
so I gathered that with his notebook and packaged it up for posting
when I went to look for his address - a scrap bit of paper in a large draw
I came across an xmas card complete with envelope I was like "what the heck is this doing in here!?"
I opened it, it was one from Dom, then £40 slipped out!!!
I remembered then he gave me £40 at christmas, I had put it in my draw to take on holiday
with me, but clearly forgot all about it.
So Im £40 up haha
I went for a walk with mia this evening
it was nice to see her
she just had a massive rant to me about feeling low and in rut
so we talked about that. I knew exactly how she felt cus ive been there myself
she said it had helped by talking to me ^^
I am useful for some stuff even if i am 'pathetic'
Tomorrow I think im gonna get some work done :)
Evening~
I didn't sleep well again -____-
Just keep waking for no apparent reason
very annoying
I went to school today~ i walked for the first time ever
We started the morning off with english and maths
it was nice to be back and the kids had missed me
but my god none of them this morning wanted to work
it was a real effort for them for some reason so motivating them was proving futile
I thought 'jeez is it gonna be like this all day!?' i seriously hoped not
Assembly came and a lady priest came from our local church
she was christian. im an atheist but people's beliefs doesnt bother me - as long as theyre
not hurting anyone or pushing their faith onto others
She was going on about the church and wanting to do an activity with school
she mentioned that peregrine falcons had nested on the church last year
saying that she had dug a nail in her coffin
cus when she asked "anyone have any questions?" I was cringing in my seat when all the
questions were about the the peregrine falcons and not about god, faith, the church....
It was break so we went in to the staff room, i did some homework. The priest was in the staffroom
too, and no one said a word about the assembly, she was chatting to the head mistress anyway
and it turns out every monday afternoon shes coming in to do faith through art with year 6
great.....
Come lunch time in the staff room - the priest no longer in school
the teachers talked about it no end, i was laughing a lot at what they said XD
After lunch the kids seemed fine and were ready to work thank god
they had made little books (which I did in year 6) and when they completed today
they read them to year 1 (which I also did in year 6) memories~
The towards the end of the day the teacher was talking about Darwin and it bored me to tears
I had a lot of compliments on my outfit and nails today tho~
I left 15mins early as mum was picking me up from school and we were going
straight to the oxygen place~
We got there no hassle and i was early to
the people were lovely and you could help your self to drinks, i had a brew and a wee
signed a form or two and had to wait for 2 more people
when they came, a guy called Frank called us through
Now I knew we had to breathe through a mask
I knew I had to be in a pressured chambered
but just what happened i would never imagine
Mum was with me and was offered to be in the tank with me and 2 other woman
i told them she wasnt to come in due to her claustrophobia
So when frank called us up to the tank I sat in and mum sat with me i was like "eh?"
she said "I want to understand what you will be going through"
So frank told us the basics
the tank would be pressurized as if we were flying at 16,000ft
he would not be able to open the tank until it de-pressurized
we would be in there for 90mins
we had to breathe using the mask but we could take it off at any point to breathe 'normally'
we were to knock on the tank if we needed help there was a window to do hand signs - thumbs up for 'im ok' palm to say 'stop pressurizing a moment and thumbs down to say 'stop ive had enough'
So I got all strapped up, i was taking it in my stride heck i was nervous, i had never breathed using a mask before. i hadnt been pressurized before well not since an airplane when i was 10 years old.
Mum left the tank I had my manga book, i got the hang of breathing through a mask - i didnt enjoy it tho to be honest. And I was good to go. We got told our ears my hurt like they do when your on an airplane. fair enough. my ears used to hurt on the plane but soon adjusted.
Frank shut the door. I was with two woman and masks. All was fine until the pressurizing began
My ears started to hurt so I did what I could to relieve them but it wouldnt go away
steadily they got worse and worse..I looked at the 2 woman and they were fine? How?
why was i suffering. I read signs on the inside of the tank saying "dont suffer in silence" "tell us if you have a problem, if you dont say we dont know"
I tried to endure the pain - i have a high pain threshold
i kept telling myself "it will go, you will adjust" but it wasnt. the pain grew and grew
i questioned myself "can ears bleed?" then the pressure went to my head, my sinuses.
it got to bad that i started to feel faint i tried to get the woman to tell frank to stop
i couldnt take my hands off my ears as it was too painful
she got franks attention i was doing the who thumbs down as much as i could
He stopped the pressurizing but i was in agony
simply I WANTED OUT
He did a mime of holding your nose
i couldnt do it cus i couldnt let go of my ears i just wanted to get out
i was in so much pain, i cant remember the last time i felt so much pain
i think it would have been a more pleasant experience having my ears removed
apparently mum had looked through the glass window and said to him "shes in pain shes upset"
so eventually he asked "do you wanna come out?"
YES FREAKIN' YES THAT'S WHAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU MAN!!!!2
Now I had the task of waiting for the pressure to stabilize so I could get out
i felt faint from the amount of pain, i had tears down my eyes i was hot and felt like i was gonna be sick. i was soooooo grateful mum had gone with me and waited as well
i was in there 20mins no way on earth could i have survived 90mins
when i came out i told mum i needed to go out for fresh air i was hot and fainty
i had had the life sucked out of me i was shattered and distressed
the woman asked me "do you suffer with your sinuses?"
I replied "i do actually, and even more so during hayfever season"
she said "if i had known that i wouldnt have let you have gone in there as it can hurt"
well thanks for telling me now love. bit late after i put myself through that
we left, i came home, showered, sweet cup of tea and just dyed
I can not wait for bedtime
Mum would like me to return to the place
she sees it as too good to miss up
but only after i address my sinus problems - god knows what that involves
i have never experienced pain so horrific in my life
Good Day~
Thought i'd do my blog a lil earlier today
I had unusual dreams last night of being a monster
I had a human form and a beast form and people were trying to catch me
it was fun and scary XD
I ate breakfast outside this morning it was refreshing~
This morning I went online for a lil while
then I bathed the pigs cus my god were they in need of a bath
I dont wanna think of what colour the water went after pinks had had her bath -__-
But theyve all dried in the lovely weather we're having today and theyre
so soft and fluffy and smell better ^^
I went for a walk as well this morning by myself
I havent been for a walk in forever so it felt good
When I got back I started my coursework
I managed to get 3 pages done :) Still got another 6 sections to do
I've done 3 so far >< I will take it to school tomorrow and do more on my breaks
I got my stuff ready for tomorrow as I am going school
I will drag my corpse there damn it!!!
Ive made my lunch up made it up from left overs of tonight's dinner X3
I love leftovers!!!
Then straight after school Im going to this oxygen place. Mum is coming with me
for my first time thank god as i dont know what to expect
they said bring a form of entertainment im gonna take my 3DS and kindle.
wish me luck im a bit anxious about tomorrow
anxious about if im well enough for school
and anxious about oxygen place
here's my bunny t-shirt I got in the post this week gonna wear it for school~
