fed up of this

Evening

I had a bad dream involving my granny
about her being taken away from me. from us
i woke up and felt really frustrated for some reason
i wanted to cry. i wanted to punch the pillow. i wanted mum to wake up so i could tell her.
mostly i wanted granny back.
but i know death doesnt work that way

I woke up at 9am
walked into my parents room to find mum laying on her bed in pajamas
so i looked at her, looked at the clock yep 9am and looked back to her
eh?
"are you alright?"
"youve given me your cold"
-_____- so now mum is poorly which isnt like her. her immune system is really good
so she didnt go to work. normally shes leaving at 9am
so it was just us two today dying round the house

very boring and dull
we've had the pets to cheer us up like
but tonight i managed to eat my dinner
and then i came over all fainty and dizzy so i went to bed
and i was there 2 hours i just felt utterly wiped out
ive done nothing all day and even slept through the day
surely im suppose to be improving?
fed up of this >.>

tomorrow i have Karen
might try and attempt to clean my room
i ordered some nail tape the other day for 99p
just so i can do some different nail designs really
i just wanted a go ^^
have to find some form of happiness how ever small at the moment

but something did make me smile last night
helina has invited me over thursday to do her hair and make-up
for a work do she got to attend. i always say to her
"if you ever need a hand im only next door" so yay i was happy
cus she sucks at that kinda thing and i enjoy it
so im looking forward to that :D