Konbanwa~~
I got up on time this morning
But I had awful stomach ache not sure why
school or should i say nursery was alright actually
i did a bit of one to one work
and we went outside in the cold only for a little while :)
and i just helped out and cleaned up
speaking of cleaning up.....
yesterday i noticed in the classroom was a bucket with 2 mops in it
the water was black as in i could not see the bottom despite it being about 5 inches deep
i thought 'that is a breeding ground for germs'
the clothes and the mops are just bad
seriously they need to invest in some new ones
so today i took it upon my self to empty the black liquid
cus i couldnt look at it anymore - im clean freak like my mother XD
oh my god
i so wish i hadnt
it awoke a terrible stomach churning smell
honestly i was almost dry heaving and ive smelt a lot of awful things in my time
example kid's sick and my dad's farts
it was awful and stunk the classroom out
luckily i had done this at the end of the day
but i felt like i couldnt get rid of the smell
it was all i could smell
i got outside thanks to the teacher letting me go early
and i gulped down air hoping it would get rid of the smell but no such luck
i got home, went into the kitchen, stripped to my underwear
threw my top and jeans in the washer for a 15min wash
i went upstairs sprayed my body with sprays
i just felt dirty
so silly isnt it? none of it got on me but i felt unclean
i take after my mum shes the same XD
but how the hell they had left that for that long i have no idea
it was just sick and unhygienic by far
in the afternoon i went for a short walk with mum cus i felt like i had cabin fever
then i cut out some fabric
looked online for ideas where to eat on my birthday and also ed wants to know what i want for my birthday but i have no idea i looked and looked til i got fed up and bored
so i told him to leave me. he goes to sudan with the army on the 8th so i dont want to trouble him anyway. and as for my birthday just looks like its gonna suck
i tried to meet up with mia but she was sad
the house she 'brought' the sellers have pulled out so she doesnt have the house anymore
she was gutted bless her and work sucks she says
so she didnt see me
so year im a bit fed up really
tomorrow im at my old primary school for the day :)
going to try my new dark blue eye liner
i never wear eye liner but wanted to give it a go
here are my nails this week
i went for a pink galaxy theme and i really like them :D
Good Day!!
I woke up at 6:40am because I thought I heard a noise
I decided to stay awake because I would be getting up in 20mins
good job I did as dad who usually wakes me slept in for about 10mins!
10 mins makes a big difference in the mornings!
So I got all dressed to go
I arrived at the school
looked just like my old primary school
the head teacher took me to the classroom
I would be a teaching assistant in the nursery room so with 3 year olds basically
i have never taught them so young! i was a little bit worried how they'd be
there was only 14!! i couldnt believe how small the class was
apparently 3 were off sick. But still 17 is a small class
so i was asked to do a couple of activities with the children
i managed it
and i was asked to teach 6 of them some maths! no pressure!
but it was all easy and fun the kids were brilliant to me
then at the end of the day which was 12pm i had to do a nursery rhyme with them
whilst the teacher dismissed the children to their parents
i hadnt done a friggin' nursery rhyme since i was like 5!!
even then i didnt know them as i couldnt ever grasp song lyrics (still cant)
so i had a book full of em and chose one i briefly remembered
then when they all went i had 15min to clean the classroom
the teacher had printed me out what we're doing all week and handed that to me to read
i came home had some lunch
then went to bed exhausted
my cold isnt too bad actually but im still done in!
then i went to karen's for a massage and my god did i ever need it!!!
i was crippled and after i felt flexible and taller!!
massage is truly amazing!
and it was good to see karen :D
tomorrow im back teaching 3 year olds~
thought id show my mum's new sausage dog plush dad brought her
we are yet to name him
but mum wanted a collar for him so i made him one
Good Evening
Would you believe that this morning when I woke at 9am
i woke with a....
cold
yep another cold
god damn those germ spreading children!!!!
I have to blame someone right?
So today I havent left the house
in fact ive done bugger all and i dont care cus im trying not to care!
but secretly im cursing life as i wanted to enjoy my weekend!!!!!!!
tomorrow i am at a new school~
which is a 2 min drive away and im just doing the morning
so im praying i can hold out
then i have karen in the afternoon
hopefully i wont die
i took photos of mia and rob's plate planning
doesnt make sense probably to a lot of people but makes sense to me
i did them as simple as i can cus its very tricky to paint without it looking rubbish
i hope it comes out ok!!!!!
i was laying on my bedroom floor with millie and alice today
tiffin was in my room i hadnt seen him for a whole hour
the moment im on the floor he comes as he gets really jealous!!
so im fussing him and the girls
the tiffin decides he wants his carrot on the floor
millie and alice listen to him eat
tiffin hops off to go and do toilet
millie leaves me i call her back but shes found tiffins carrot and devours it....
she then runs under the bed, tiffin shoots off the toilet, tail up his backside
and searches out millie (this all happens in like 2 seconds)
millie comes bombing out of the bed chattering her teeth in fear
i scoop her up and put her with alice
tiffin has just stuck his face out of the bed then casually goes back on toilet
so he left the toilet to go round her up!!
he didnt harm her and could have if he wanted to
bless her, millie cant help but be nosy
i love my pets <3
Konbanwa!!
I went to bed at 9:20pm
didnt even manage to stay awake to watch all of 8 out of 10 cats
so i will have to watch it on catch up
I got up at 8:30am
so I slept for almost 11 hours
mum kindly cleaned the pets out for me cus god i could not
be bothered to even move my body
and i hurt so much
im so in need of a massage which is on monday!
i cant remember the last time i went so long without treatment from karen ><
I sat happily and did some cross stitching :)
Then we popped out to a few shops
dad wants a draft excluder for his sofa
me and mum agreed on a design i have in one of my craft books...
a sausage dog X3
so ive got stuff for that
im changing the design a little bit tho
i had lunch then i made a cake for mum~
mum baked it for me as i just needed to sleep
so i stayed in bed for 3 hours
half sleeping and half resting in the warmth
i got up and decorated the cake :)
tasted so good and yummy
i cant bare to think how many calories ive had today and i havent done any exercise!!!
alwell
but what adds to that is we're having take away pizza tonight ><
its gonna send my head thoughts into over drive
i already have stomach from too much sweet stuff
so i doubt i'll finish the pizza but my brother will give it a good home no doubt!
i sat and sorted stuff out for the plate i want to do for mia and rob
i will have to upload it for all to see
tomorrow i have an idea how i want to paint my nails
and im not sure what else to do
maybe start sewing? got a few things to make
sausage dog
mia's peg bag
mia and rob place mats
anyway night!
Otskaresama deshita~~
My first full week of work completed!!
What an achievement it is for me
I have come along way
From being 18 and totally bed ridden for 2 years
to be able to work the hours I did this week ^^
It is a proud moment :3
So last night as yoga
at the end of the session i said to karen
"karen do you know how dedicated me and mum are to yoga?"
she looked at me confused
"today's mum's birthday"
karen made a fuss of mum and then as we were leaving she gave mum
a bag with karen's yoga logo on it :D
Mum was embarrassed as some people in the class said happy birthday to her
but she got a nice bag out of it XD
karen is nice :3 strict but nice ^^
This morning I so did not wanna go to school
i had gone to bed last night at 9:30pm and slept through til 7
i must say working this hard does allow me to sleep through the nights
which is rare for me so thats been nice
just not sleeping for long enough for my liking
but that will change tomorrow morning :3
school we did maths and english
i was ashamed to admit i couldnt do some of the english
it was naming what an adverb adjective noun proper noun preposition was
and i have NEVER been able to remember what they all are
i blame my dyslexia i just cant retain their meanings
then we did some RE work on Muslims
lunch time mum picked me up :D
so i had lunch at home which was nice
just didnt want to go back!!
after lunch we finished off RE
then I was working with 5 children on the computers
getting their work finished
and then i ended up drawing like 10 pokemon and unicorns for children
to colour in on their friday treat afternoon
my goodness those kids were mad for pictures
and they were mega crap too but they loved them!
i came home with 3 drawings this week children had done for me :D
I came home, yesterday my brother met me after school
today he didnt >< I always look forward to cycling back home with him :)
I had a brew and a good rest
did some cross stitch
today i have managed to spend more time with tiffin
i had him in my bedroom in the morning before school instead of putting him outside
i fussed him during lunch at home
and i have been with him since i got hom
think hes happier now :3
tomorrow i am sitting on my big fat arse!!
the only thing i NEED to do tomorrow is to make my mum
a be-lated birthday cakey!
OTSUKARESAMA + HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Today is mummy's birthday ^^
just such a shame we both had to work ><
I got and made a lil fuss of mum
went to school it was sooooo cold this morning
-1c which doesnt sound bad but combine it with arctic winds
man it was one cold day!
so cycling to school was horrible ><
I was in year 4 all day
in the morning we did maths which fried my brain -____-
then we did a roman banquette
their topic project is 'the romans'
so we pushed the tables into long rows, put fabric over the top
handed out plates, drinks, fruits, horrid biscuits
the catch was we as staff had to be the worst restaurant staff ever
so the teacher was fake sneezing in kids faces, the other TA was taking food away
i was spilling drinks and telling kids to look for mould on the food
all good fun
so it gave them loads to write about which was good
just clearing up took a while
lunch time i came home
mum opened her birthday cards
i phoned up agencies
as the school wants me again!
Its lovely they want me back and i have work ^^
After lunch it was computer time
they had ipads and were making stop animation
i had it good as i was able to take a group of 6 into a quiet room to work
and i made them little studios and helped them, it was nice
then after break i was doing intervention reading with 3 students
so a nice quiet easy afternoon for me
came home
had a brew whilst mum opened her presents :D
she had some really lovely presents
she loved mine :D i couldnt wait to show her ^^
like a big kid i am!
then i went to bed shattered
didnt sleep, but an hour later mum got me up for yoga
yoga was hard work but i think its because im so damn tired!
tiffin has really missed me bless him
so hes having all my attention tonight!
last day tomorrow then weekend!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM
HOPE THIS YEAR IS A GOOD YEAR FOR YOU! <3
Konbanwa~~
I had such an awesome dream!! I was some demon boy
and I could do anything I wanted to! Fly, jump really high, strength
you name it, it was so good!
Dont know why i was male tho :/ think i was suppose to be born a boy XD
I got up for school
I so wanted to stay in bed and continue the dream!!
School this morning
just everywhere so damn cold ><
I was in year 3 they were a lot better behaved
we did english and maths the usual really
during lunch i sat and did some work for the teacher as i had
no one to talk to on my lunch :/
tom was there but he was busy
gonna miss that guy
hes the last one there whos my age i can have a conversation with whilst
feeling equal
after lunch i was in year 4 doing some science posters
so i ended up drawing no end of bubble writing for people!
but thats what im there for
an easy afternoon really
came home had a brew and did some cross stitch
ive almost finished 1 window on it! doesnt look like much tho!
I received a phone call from an agency i havent had work from yet
he offered me work until 8th february at a local school (literally a 2 min drive)
for morning work!!! i was well happy with it as it suits me just great ^^
so im happy that i have work all the way until 8th february
speaking of february someone counted to my birthday....13!!!
jeez didnt realize it was 13 ><
I am now getting very tired
i cant believe its only wednesday
it feels like friday
need a rest
i knew this week would kill me but i wanted to do it
i had a couple of members of staff asking if i was ok
those select few who know my conditions
anyway tomorrow is a special day for me~
tomorrow is my mummy's birthday :D
well happy!
but what im not happy about is working on her birthday!!!
ive never worked on her birthday before so it will be a bit strange
as usual we spend it together
shes got work too she thought she might as well go as im working too
so when i get home from school were gonna celebrate it
hopefully my brother should be home as well
cant wait to show her what ive got and done for her :D
Otsukaresama Deshita~~
I got up at 7am
it was freezing out there!!!!
Did not wanna go out in that ><
safe to say my bike ride to school was cold -_____-
My morning at school began in year 4
the teacher said he'd been speaking the leading teacher assistant about me...
about my name...
Ok so at school Im known as 'Jo' to staff AND students
but this is not professional
I was able to use it as i was student and not 'staff''
but now im 'staff' i need to go by my surname T^T
i hate it! i feel like it ages me and it doesnt feel right
but I know I have to get used to it
so I was introduced it to the children today
most still call me Jo XD probably cus i dont police them XD
but instead of my true surname I use my mum's maiden name
as I prefer it and its easier to say ~
We did some maths and english
the maths was something i was able to learn ^^
the english was dull but i only had to work on 1 table so it was quite easy
i was on break time duty twice today >< COLD!!!
After lunch I was with year 3
i didnt want to leave year 4 as they were gonna do art ><
year 3 are feral at the best of times, theyre a really really loud fussy class
and today their teacher was absent...
so they had a supply
well lets just i had ear ache and a head ache at the end of the day
did not enjoy it at all
i felt more like the teacher than the supply!!
I came home had a brew and did some cross stitch in the quiet with tiffin
just been getting ready for school tomorrow
gonna be cold again no doubt
now i want to dance :)
Evening~~
well I woke up this morning thinking
'what a cruddy week i have lined up, dinner lady job earning £40 for the week'
so I just went about my morning
did some cross stitch and stuff
then I had a phone call from the agency...
my old primary school wants me in for the WHOLE of this week!!!!!
How the hell did that happen!?
I was well happy as it meant I was doing something meaningful with my week
not only that but this will be the first week in my whole life
that i will earn over £150 in the week!!
Its not really that much but to me who had no income for 18months it is a lot
and means a lot
I had to ring the other agency and tell them to stick the dinner lady job
yeah they hated my guts but i said id rather actually go earn some money
and do the job i was trained to do
stuff em i dont care if i dont hear from em again!
so i had to go into school after my lunch
I was in year 4 which made a nice change as its a class im not that familiar with
but given the choice, i do prefer the older children anyway~
they read to the youngest class
then we were colouring in and gluing sticking cutting
it was good :D
tomorrow I am in year 4 in the morning and then i believe year 3 in the afternoon
but to be honest i dont care what class im in im just happy to be there you know?
i came home and went for a walk with mum
i needed the stretch
then i spent like well over an hour looking for ideas for mia's house warming present
and also some thing to do for my freakin' birthday!!!
i think i have some decisions now~
for mia - i will go to pot painting place and paint her a special plate commemorating her and rob moving into their first house. it will be a lot of effort but certainly unique and special.
my birthday i realized theres a vintage fair on!! so im thinking go to that and have a meal
sorted. or so i think!
here are my nails for the week~
Konbanwa~~
Today I woke up at 9:30am
I slept pretty well and dreamed i had visited japan X3
The morning I just did what I wanted really
I found that tiffin did not appreciate the lack of sawdust in his cage...
he had just destroyed the newspaper -______-
so I got some towels (old ones) and laid them over the news paper
and so far they have stayed where they are!!
In the after noon mia came over and i took us over to helina's house
which was really easy to find actually
her fiance was there tho :/ i was hoping it was just gonna be a girly thing
we talked and had brew and cake
she showed us round her house she wasnt
enthusiastic at all but i think thats just the way she is XD
alright house I guess. Its a new build and I dont particularly like new builds
theyre all very boxy and have no character or charm but i think shes happy with it
its clean and will do her
i think mia's house will be fantastic though but then she did have double helina's budget
I came back home with mia
she stayed for half hour or so and then rob picked her up
and then i had dinner
so i havent done a lot really today
I took photos of mum's bag I made
it was suppose to be a small make-up bag but ended up being the size of
a bloody lunch bag! its really big so i dont know what she will use it for -_____-
im sure she will like it
i included little guinea charms on the zip
tomorrow im a dinner lady ><
Konbanwa~~
I woke up at 9:50am....wow
I slept real late I must have needed it and I slept pretty well actually
But when I woke I had awful stomach ache I have no idea why
I had the pets to clean out this morning
mum had mentioned she thought tiifs had a wet nose...
so I went up and it was a bit wet but could that be from wet grass and plants?
but whilst I was cleaning them out he was having some really big sneezing fits
really bad and then i did realize his nose was running it wasnt water from outside
so I rang the vets, they were fully booked but managed to squeeze him in for me!
so 2:30pm he'd be there ><
In the morning I did some more of my cross stitch, went for a walk with mum,
started making mum a birthday card, wrapped mum's presents
her birthday is thursday :) Im all sorted as i eventually finished her card
drew a guinea pig!
I took tiffin to the vets again
it was a vet we havent met before but she was good and nice
she has given tiffin the same anti-biotic but higher dosage
she also told us to take away his sawdust...
tiffin was good boy ^^
upon leaving the store we bumped into the head teacher of my old primary school, 3 students from that primary school! so weird!!
Tomorrow I am seeing mia and helina
me and mia are seeing helina's new house for the first time
i will be sure to give her the house warming presents i made for her :)
tiffin will have to go to back to the vets in 10days time
i made this card for the vets to say thank you
Konbanwa~
Yoga last night was good but I felt really crippled afterwards
At night as usual I watched TV with my parents with Tiffin on my knee
my parents had some program on, i tend to sit and read my kindle more than watch the TV
a man on the TV said "my children are my assets"
to which my dad said "funny, ive never thought of you as an asset Jo"
I just pulled a face at hime
totally unnecessary I tell you
This morning I woke up to find this on the outside of my door
for those who cant read my dad's writting (he always writes in capitals)
it says 'ASSET'
hilarious >.>
Ive kept it there X3
Well dad never gives me anything!
I had school today and I was woken up 10 mins late!
but surprisingly I had lots of time!
how does that work!? some mornings time just flies and others you have time!
School was hard work but I got through it!
I sat and talked to Tom a lot
we decided to swap facebooks so we could keep in contact
I got home and had a brew
at 4:30pm I went for a walk with mia
and she delivered some impressive news to me
SHE'S BROUGHT HER FIRST HOUSE!!!
And while that still hasnt totally sunk in my head yet I was very pleased for her
but its kinda bitter sweet to me, as im happy for her truly i am and shes done
really well getting the place she has, its unbelievable actually
it just makes me look myself and where i am at in life you know?
no partner, low income, still living at home
yeah sucks at times
i sometimes wonder what will become of my life
So now I gotta make her a house warming pressie!!
shes requested a peg bag actually XD which i found a bit strange to be honest
but if thats what she would like then shall do it, i will also do her something extra~
I ordered the bloody oil cloth i need to make it with tonight
I HATE OIL CLOTH!
does NOT sew!!!
Tomorrow I have a day to please myself~
Konnichiwa~
I had school today
I didnt sleep well
life is an endurance run currently
I was able to give my new blusher a go this morning as it arrived yesterday
la femme
I have never used this brand before but im impressed
i was after a blusher SET not just 1 colour
so yay im pleased :)
and only £2.70~~~
School was nice to go back to
i was in year 3 and my god i lost count how many hugs and holding of hands
i had from the students X3
im there tomorrow too
we did english maths the usual
i did some lesson prep
the afternoon i had to call students out the classroom to read
it is called 'intervention' bit pressurizing but gotta be done
then i left at 3:30~
I rang the other agency to say im not gonna be a dinner lady tomorrow
and he was cool with it but i cant get out of going next week
damn life
for the last 3 or 4 days i have felt my depression slowly coming
im trying my best but i reckon im ready to have another crack and cry soon
prehaps the weekend? who knows
with not sleeping and being in constant bad pain does nothing to help my mood
anyway tomorrow is friday!
Evening~~
I didnt do my blog yesterday cus I ran out of time and then
when I got home it was too late and I couldnt be arsed!
So yesterday was all pretty mundane
went to the primary school to be a dinner lady
they had the school inspectors in. But I didnt notice them
But it was noted the dinner staff did well :)
So at least I didnt let the school down XD
I came home and went to bed
im not sleeping and im shattered and in pain
Then later on I got ready to go out
I would be meeting up with a friend from my secondary (high) school
Mum made fun a few times calling it a 'date'
upon the 5th time i bit her head off saying it wasnt funny
i was touchy XD
So anyway I haven't seen him since June 2008
We used to get on well.
He is name is Adam
And when we were at school he was tall
but standing next to his 6ft 5" self yesterday was not something i expected XD
I felt like such a shrimp!
We met at the pub in the bar area. He looked pretty much the same just
taller, bit fatter, and had a beard.
But he was his usual lovely self which I remembered him being like
He is a good person.
And the reason why we didn't keep in contact?
thats because 2008 Jozu-chan decided to ditch all her high school friends and ties
and start a fresh at college
why she did that I do not know ><
We chatted about what we both had done in the years apart
which colleges we attended and such.
He went to the same college as my brother - small world
but they would have been there at different times what with my brother being younger.
He told me his mum was a teaching assistant~ I like to hear of fellow teaching assistants~
I had a cup of tea and he drank non-alcoholic beer which said was gross
He is trying to keep his depression and anxiety at bay and says alcohol makes it worse
I got away with telling him about my multiple illnesses thank god
He told me that during his depression and anxiety - caused by graduating college (so leaving your friends and routine), being dumped by his girlfriend after a year of dating, not being able to find a job - that he ended up putting on a lot of weight
til he reached 24 stone....thats a heck of a lot even for someone 6ft 5"
so hes currently dieting still and has 2 more stone to go
i know he will do it considering how much hes already manage to lose.
at 9pm i decided to go as the pub quiz was starting and i couldnt hear a damn thing
when the microphone went on >< I didnt know there was a quiz!
I got home and sat with tiffin on my knee but i couldnt unwind
so last night i couldnt sleep i hardly slept
this morning i had bags upon bags under my eyes
i went to the shops with mum in the morning
then i went to school for the dinner lady job
it was dull but easy.
I got home and ate lunch alone as everyone was out ><
So I decided to do some more sewing of mum's birthday present
which i got finished today!!! I was well happy cus it took hours!
The agency phoned, im suppose to be going to my old primary school tomorrow for the morning then karen in the afternoon, so i wasnt doing the dinner lady job.
he rang to say the school want me all day instead of just the morning :D great news
but it meant i had to cancel karen T^T
then they said i was also wanted for all day friday
now i was down as doing dinner lady work on the friday but screw that im going to my old primary school damn it! its the actual work i want and it pays far better
so ive got to ring up the other agency tomorrow and tell em to stick it!
well my parents told me not to be quite that rude XD
yoga tomorrow as well!
so thats been my recent life
looking forward to tomorrow in year 3 all day :D
i like that class they have definitely grown on me
i mean theyre feral but i wouldnt have em any other way X3
here's a picture of adam i dug out of my photos back from 2007~
