i dreamed of tiffin.
i held him in my arms i could feel his weight and fur.
i told him i loved him and that I always will.
i woke up and my arms where in the position of me cradling him how i used to.
i fell into a peaceful sleep. when i woke up in the morning i found my tiffin plush and kip plush on the floor...
now they never fall on the floor from my bed it's usually my bigger toys if any. so have both these 2 felt a little strange. i cant even remember the last time my tiffin plush had fallen from my bed. so i know it wasnt real but i feel i've said my goodbye to him.
It feels like I have a little closure even though I know it wasnt real.
But it was a sweet dream. It did freak me out a bit finding my Tiffin and Kip plush on the floor I have to say and I told mum.
I didn't do much today
i cleaned out his cage. mum offered to do it. but i wanted to do it.
i felt it was my responsibility no matter how sad
im not going to wash his blanket though i want to keep it the way it is.
i havent chucked his toys out of my room yet. I have held onto a lot of stuff
simply in case I get another bunbun
I went out at 10am with mum to the shops
and brought Tiffin a little 'gravestone' and put it where he's buried
we have quite the little cemetery going now
it all looks a bit messy I know but we tend to clean it in spring when the horrid
winter weather has passed.
I hope he rests in peace
the ornament is quite fitting as he used to lay like that
I do feel a loss without him. I have been thinking about 'another one'
a part of me thinks 'hell life is too short just get another one and enjoy it'
another part of me thinks i shouldn't be bogged down with a rabbit, to enjoy my youth and not have the worry that i have a rabbit waiting at home,
i also want to go abroad and maybe even work abroad and i feel maybe i wouldnt want to leave a rabbit behind if i did go abroad. i know my mum would take care of it if i did go away but she wouldnt be too thrilled about it.
I plan on having a little talk with mum tonight just about rabbits
just feel i want to say a few things out loud instead of typing them.
I have been fussing my piggies
theyre doing alright
I wonder if they know the prince isnt here anymore
I slept for 3 hours today to escape reality
I havent done anything really today
I sat in front of the TV watching Bridget Jones Diary whilst hand sewing
the sausage dog i started for dad ages ago i never finished
i got it done so at least i've done something today i guess.
Tomorrow Im suppose to be seeing adam
we had planned to go to the city centre
but im gonna see how i feel cus currently i just feel physically and mentally drained
we were planning on playing bowling but i dont feel like i could enjoy myself tomorrow
i mean i dont mind meeting up i guess but i dont know what im gonna be in the mood to do
i know moping around doesnt help matters but i do feel the spark i have has vanished
since tiffin has gone.
time is a good healer i know but not much time has passed its all a bit raw.
and im feeling fragile with it all.
i miss him too much
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