Almost forgot to do my diary
I was that caught up looking at Japanese make-up!
I ordered a new mascara which is kinda burgundy colour
and my first ever Canmake Make up! for tear bags
I have wanted something Canmake for agesssssss
but its expensive to get over here cus you have to order from japan
but I could resist this~ I work - its my treat
besides I never spend much of what I earn really /:
Today I woke up at 7am but drifted off to sleep til8:45am
I got up and got ready
me and mum eventually went shops to get karen something for her bday
and we got some pet food stuff
came back I cleaned girls out
then I got changed and went over to adam's house
we sat with his parents for a bit
apparently his dad has done the hierarchy for the house its goes from the top to bottom
Me
his dad
adam
his mum
XD i was shocked at how i came out top!!
but I felt so tired and drained I probably wasnt my usual self round them
then we went upstairs for a bit
I robbed his bed covers cus I was F'ing freezing!! I was frozen
so I curled up in those til he caved in and joined me X3
I eventually got warm he is like a radiator
we were laying there -full clothed and stuff we're not that far
but he suddenly said to me
"you have never sat in my gaming chair have you?"
"err no"
"go and sit in it"
"wait this is a bit random and sudden. you're asking me to get up. leave the warm bed. to go sit over there by myself on your chair?"
"just please do it for me"
"this is strange, what you planning?"
"nothing now will you just please do it"
it was very very odd and I couldnt for the life of me think why the hell he wanted me to leave him laying there to go sit opposite his bed by myself. why? i cant work it out i really cant
i asked him several times 'why?' but I never got it explained
i came to the conclusion i probably didnt want to know
then we just gave me plenty of cuddles and kisses cus it had been a whole 6 days since we'd last seen each other XD
I asked him
"when you were with you ex, you had been dating a month and seen each other naked. We havent gotten that far yet. because of me obviously. does it bother you?"
"no no you know its fine and i want you to be confident and happy i wont push you im happy how we are so dont worry"
i sometimes wish i could get over my insecurities
im not sure even what stops me. i feel shame towards my body. i hate seeing it so i wouldnt want to show it to anyone. i think its apprehension as well cus im not sure how some stuff will happen and how it will go. and what im expected to do. so many insecurities
but he tells me i over think way too much but thats just me!
the last hour I was there I could feel my body protesting
i was literally dead on my feet
i needed the rest i owed my body
it was time for me to leave anyway
so i wished him good luck for tomorrow when he goes competing in his athletics
i came home had a brew and went to sleep
til dinner time and did myself some pasta and watched vampire diaries
then just been online really
tomorrow I have several jobs that need to be done
i plan on doing them all in my pajamas
job form
finish skirt
hair bow to make
make karen a bday card
do some yoga
here is a top i got in the post for £4 new
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