I'm well aware I didn't do my diary yesterday ><
So yesterday I was really tired for some reason
I had my phone call from the mental health team
It was a lovely depressing phone call!!
I mean it was just routine questions but still
Would you or have you ever self harmed?
what would you use if you were to self harm?
Have you thought about killing yourself?
if you were to kill yourself how would you do it?
lovely at 9:30am
they said they'll ring back on 15th to discuss which avenue of treatment
they think will be best for me.
so thats another week im waiting for help it would seem
I went back to bed at that point
I woke up and started to get stuff ready for school the next day
then started to get myself ready to go out with adam's family
I put a dress on ^^
Mum later dropped me off at their house :3
I had a bit of time with adam before we left so we played darts
and i friggin won!!!! YES!!!! I never win against him
His mum came home and opened her card and present from me - the elephant mug
she loved it ^^ I was well pleased that she liked it
then we went out
I was a lil anxious, for some reason being in the city centre evening time always makes me feel uneasy and a bit anxious but adam was there holding my hand
We arrived at the mini golf.
I had a shocking start honestly it was terrible
and i couldnt help but think i was surely finishing in 4th place!
but towards the end i redeemed myself with a hole in one which was incredible as there was no aim involved i just whacked it and it went in! then I had a few other holes I was good at
so in the end I finished 2nd! Adam 1st then his parents joint 3rd
Then we walked down to the restaurant
I was anxious about eating
my stomach didnt feel good from having a fruit drink at golf and having not eaten as well
they wanted starter and main
i could easily just have 1 meal but no such luck they did offer me to skip one of the meals but i wanted to join in and they told me no pressure to eat everything.
starter i had the same as adam this kinda duck in a wrap? not good with mexican food names XD
then for main I had a coconut curry which was really really mild much to my delight as im not a fan of spice, and it was vegetable too so it was easier on my stomach than meat.
it came with rice and 2 werid looking potatoes i wasnt able to eat everything but didnt leave much behind i sure as hell didnt want to see food for the next week tho
his mum ordered us both a mocktail which is basically just a fruit drink my god it was bloody good but having anything other than water whilst i eat out is guaranteed stomach ache for me
i tried to say i didnt want one but could she wanted one so i joined in
god my stomach
i didnt complain tho
on the walk back to the car
his mum started talking to me about adam's dad's birthday - his 60th this year
not til december tho keep in mind thats 6 months away!
she wants to take him manchester for the night to do a flight simulator
and said adam is coming would i like to come as well
I couldnt believe she was asking me actually. couple of reasons for this
we've only been going out 2 months and already ive been asked to go on a family get away
its a whole 6 months away so early planning
and who's to say adam still wants me come december
so i told her she doesnt have to feel she needs to invite me
but she told me im part of the family and would love to have me there
so that was that!
but i have no clue where i'll be in the world in 6 months time
what job i'll have, my relationships, who knows!
but of course id love to go
then they dropped me off home
I showered, sat with Oz for 15mins with tummy ache
went to bed with my stomach still hurting
it wasnt easy to get to sleep cus my mind was going mental with the amount of food id eaten
Then this morning I got up for school
it was grandparents day at school
basically grandparents can come to school for 2 hours to see their grandchildren's work, play with them and have tea & biscuits (the later of which I managed to grab some for myself!)
So it was a very very easy day for me really
Then came home and slept for over an hour
I wasnt going to but i was mentally exhausted
mum had made a cake for her 27th wedding anniversary
dad had brought her flowers
they had gone out for a meal yesterday
whilst my brother yesterday was on BBC news again! twice in one year!
i havent seen it for myself tho yet.
Tomorrow I am seeing adam at some point
as usual for a saturday
but already feeling anxious about what im gonna eat at lunch time with him.
i said i'd paint his mum's nails as well X3
Here is my collection of japanese/korean beauty samples!
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