ahhh I have no idea what to do with myself!!
I got best part of 3 hours sleep last night
I laid in my bed thinking "I dont wanna go school"
I could feel my self getting anxious and a lil upset and i was close to
coming downstairs and wanting to cry on my mum's knee
but I told my self to get a grip and go to sleep
I woke up having cold sweats and aching
I felt awful
I was awake from 5:40am
so when 6:50am came round I couldnt wait to get outta bed
I had practically read a whole book during the night/morning
I got ready for school despite looking like a corpse
I just robotically got on with the day
My morning was a lil different as we were tasting chocolate at school
but my patience was thin I could feel it was
and the rest of the day was nothing special really
came home for lunch
then after lunch we had P.E. the P.E. teacher told me to work in one of the groups
just cus she knows i love P.E. and they were a member down
I was more than happy to cus it was rounders!!!!~
And I hit the ball hard just as the teacher looked over at our group she gave the thumbs up
yup I havent lost it ;)
Then I came home and waited around for my doctors appt
Luckily I wasnt waiting very long at the doctors at all and he actually listened to me
I have got to remain on the higher dose of my anti-depressiants -_____-
I wasnt thrilled but he said he'd like me to stick with it
and I've got the dreaded 'pill' haha just cus I told him that special time of the month (or 2 months for me really) the hormones really pull my depression down and im not good
i need to be a constant steadiness but all the time im up and down
im trying to have a steadiness in my moods
came home and went to sleep for 2 hours
then I got up and went on my laptop for a bit
My nails this week
kids at school loved em ;)
Right as of this moment an hour ago my mood switched from coping to not so good really
it just slips and I drop into a mind set I do not like
just not happy and its not me at all
and the thoughts i have are brutal
a problem I thought acupuncture had 'cured' has surfaced once again sadly
dont know how long i can cope for
tomorrow
8:30am acupuncture for 1 hour which i really want to go to as i wanna talk
9:30am going city centre with mum
1:30pm got my first CBT session ><
2:30pm come home and forget about the day
6:00pm see ether mia or tara or no one
not seeing adam anyway like I do on my usual tuesdays
gonna be KNACKERED
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