Monday, 13 November 2017

Some people help others don't I guess

Konbanwa~~

I didn't even use my laptop yesterday
I woke up had breakfast, slept, had lunch then did some hand sewing
then went for a walk with my ipod cus it was just what i felt like doing
Adam didnt sound great
his back was playing up and he had a cold and coldsore
I decided to surprise him with Oz to cheer him up~

Since saturday night the mole on my right bottom jaw swelled up
i mean really swelled up to point were it ached and throbbed just to talk and eat
sunday morning came round and it had grown to almost a golf ball 0.0 yikes
what the hell was up with it!?
i thought maybe it was the world's biggest spot but nothing happened when i squeezed it
it just hurt so i wasnt looking forward to my boyfriend seeing it
i had a deformed face!
He wasnt fussed as it goes i knew he wouldnt be but i felt yukky with it

We let Oz play but all he did was lay down next to people so he could get fuss individually from them honestly he's a smart one that rabbit -____-
we took him home and i sorted out stuff at home then went to adam's house
i talked with his parents, had a play fight, did his mum's nails and had dinner
came home showered and bed
not sitting with Oz in the evenings now sadly as he keeps trying to pee on the sofa
and id be killed if he actually pees on it

Today I woke up feeling shattered
I hadnt slept very well i kept waking up
I had to get up for the doctors

the doctors
GP's are there to HELP people
what I got today was anything but helpful
I went in and he asked
"what can I do for you?"
"well i've had an assessment at mental health and they suggested I have my thyroid checked and that I get referred to the pain clinic as im still in pain"
"sorry who wants you referred?"
*sigh* this is gonna be a hard time "the mental health team"
"i'll see if they've written to me"
"well i doubt it as they suggested it to me. Have you got my blood test results? I had them done friday"
"well i doubt it if you had them done only on friday" (here he should have said 'ill just check for you'
"well the nurse seemed very confident the results would be here in time"
"i can have a look....oh yes they are here" arse wipe
"and the results are all normal"
"oh..."
"you seem surprised by this?"
"well yes as i felt my thyroid was out of whack"
"no your thyroid is fine" and that was end of conversation, not 'oh why did you think that? have something been troubling you?' nothing
"so the pain referral what do you do now to help your pain?" look on your screen and it should tell you what medication I take
"i take medication, i exercise and do yoga, i pay out for acupuncture. I dont feel the tablets help much tho"
"how long you been taking them for?
"6+ years now, and I know I am addicted to them as well"
"well i doubt it but they might be able to change your meds or take you off it"
dont tell me what i do or dont feel arse hole!!!!
"i have taken myself off them a few times and the withdrawal symptoms are harsh"
"i'll do that referral for you today"
thank f*** for that!!!! how hard was that!?
i had to really stand my ground at 8:50am to get any help!!
he checked my mole out and said the skin duct was infected i needed to keep it clean and it should go back to normal in a few days. thank god that isnt serious.

my morning consisted of vampire diaries and hand sewing christmas decorations
and i can say that I have finished all 8 ^^ I just need to stitch them to the ribbon then they're done but i'd had enough today of sewing.
I went for a quick walk with mum too in the afternoon
and managed not to go to sleep how i was very tempted to
I filled out this pet sitting thing on line and i also filled out 1 of the 2 forms i have to fill in for something else. I have almost finished it but i need dad's help with it
and id rather slit my own wrists than ask him
but needs must

Nigel the acupuncturist txt me at 4pm saying did I want to have some Reiki seeing as im not keen on the needles. and I know he genuinely wants to help me and not just wanting my money as he has plenty of clients. and its nice knowing someone trying to help and not giving up on me. i was planning on returning to him next week tho for the record. just hate needles. so im going over their at 10:30am for Reiki.

Tomorrow Id like to finish sewing the decorations as then I can put them away :) be good to get them done. Im seeing Nigel, seeing Adam at some point
but I dont really know what I am doing tomorrow
i shall try and think~

I thought I'd show how far id gotten with the iphone cover thing

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