I slept
what more can I say to that
I actually slept
like normal sleep for me
I know its normal because:
its deep sleep im not waking up shattered
I have a weird dream that keeps me busy in my sleep
I stay in my bed all night!
I couldnt believe it when mum woke me that it was the morning
it felt like only hours
slight issue tho I felt really drowsy, not tired, drowsy
Mum said I looked worse for having a normal night's sleep XD
hows that possible!? I did look like a zombie tho
seriously like halloween had come early to me
mum, my brother and adam could tell i wasnt on the right planet today
just by looking at me i believe
Anyway so this morning another discovery I made was
that I was incredibly dizzy and woolly headed
and my heart is pounding like its having to work extra hard
I walked downstairs and sat in a seat thinking
"whats making that banging noise?" I'll tell you what it was
it was my heart beat, I could hear it very loudly in my ears
I felt so dizzy to the point of losing my balance or feeling faint
I didnt feel sick but the constant dizziness did make me feel off after a while
I just felt awful if im honest. I wasnt tired but had gained a lot more crap
so I did what I thought was best and went back to bed at 9:30am thinking
that I could sleep the rest of the medication off
woke up at 12pm to the sound of every house alarm going off within a 5 mile radius
ugh not what I wanted to wake up to and I knew what it meant
we had a power cut...still it got me up as i couldnt believe the amount of
time i had slept. I noticed that I had sweated a lot through the night and also during my sleep
in the morning, I was hot like seriously hot. you could probably cook an egg off me
so i dived from my bed to the shower
which i didnt enjoy as my heart was working double time and i felt dizzy
I came downstairs afterwards and adam was ringing me
he wanted to come over. despite me txting him hours earlier telling him NOT to come see me
as i was living corpse and no good to anyone
basically when my health is bad all i do is hole myself away from everyone
i HATE people to see me to see my illness
its not fun im not fun and its a waste of everyones time involved
as i cant be myself and i cant do anything with anyone
im best left alone
despite me saying all this it still didnt put him off as he was on the bus over to
my house!! i just knew i was gonna get a telling off for this from mum
she hates me seeing people when im like death as she sees it as being unfair on me
but anyway he turned up
he was sweaty as it was 25c today! he had taken the time to buy me flowers ^^
I have done nothing all day apart from sit
laying around
occasionally going into the sun and sitting some more
i couldnt even fuss the pets as they were hot also
so theyre having extra long outside tonight
millie and maisy have really become fast friends
I told adam that he shouldnt come and see me like this
that its a waste of his time
but ether he just doesnt get it or sees it differently but he says it doesnt bother him
well sometimes i just wanna die in peace ok
i did get the 3rd degree from mum when he'd gone -_______-
when he'd left i wrapped up all my ebay stuff ready to post tomorrow
I decided id go yoga not knowing how id cope but knew i was aching a lot
due to not doing any exercise today so i knew ether way id got to do exercise
as is the nature of the beast of having hyper-mobility-syndrome
Yoga was HOT there was no fans or air con and only one small window open
but we had little breeze and no clouds today so a whole lotta good it did
i dont know how i got through the session i know several times i got the 'concerned look' from mum and karen. Mum told me later it was because i was like white and sweating. how i was getting goosebumps when i was roasting is beyond me. Karen looked sick, she must have lost a stone this week, seriously. I know shes got stomach issues and waiting for an op but my god shes lost weight in a week i hope shes gonna be ok
I did read the leaflet that came with my anti-depressiants
basically they can cause heart to beat out of rhythm, dizziness, for moods to change rapidly until they get fully working (which why the doctor asked me if i felt suicidal) these tablets are kinda like a 'last resort' if all else fails which explains why i havent been prescribed them before, theyre none-addictive and the side effects ease up after 2 weeks, great 2 weeks+ of this!
so i can expect my moods to change then from looks of things so i told mum that cus other people around you tend to notice your mental state more than you do.
tomorrow is suppose to be another hot day
i swear our country has the worlds mentalist weather
my pets are hot cus they still have their winter coats on! no one saw this weather happening
be rained like crazy before we know it or even snowing lets just see
anyway tomorrow Oz has the vets at 9am which by that time of morning wont be warm other wise id cancel his appt and take him when its cooled off out there as its not an emergency its just his yearly jabs and a health check. Then im coming home to drop him off and going near enough straight back out for psychology at 10am for an hour then driving down the road for the post office to post off my ebay crap basically then coming home to die
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