Agreed not going Sheffield again

Tadaima~~

I'm home!
Got home about 12:15pm
glad to be sodding home as well in all honesty 

So friday~
I was tired I'd had a rough night as per usual
I wasn't in the best of moods I just wasnt really
should have been happy I was going away
but I wasn't
Adam's dad picked me up ridiculously early I should have known better
didnt stop me from moaning about it
means waiting at the train station pointlessly longer
adam brought me a tea in the cafe there but I didnt drink it all
as I didnt want anything

we got off the train and walked to a cafe for a drink then started our trek up to the hotel
my god why hadnt i driven!? he wouldnt let me drive
thats the last time i give in and let it happen
its a stupid trek
we got to the hotel and we stayed there til 2pm as adam had arranged
for me to have a hot stone massage which was nice of him and good experience
we went back to the room were i had a bath to get rid of the massage oil
and we stayed in the room til 5pm when we walked to the only pub within a 5mile radios 
i ordered, and i should have known better, Mediterranean veg pie
the pie was pastry not potato - yuck
it came with mushy peas as i hadnt stated garden
i had to pay as their card reader wasnt working and adam didnt have cash
i  had just enough luckily
i ate the veg out the pie and the chips
yum
we went back to room, let food go down and went swimming which was alright

the room was a lil dirty and the water out the tap took ages to go luke warm never mind cold
it was also cloudy water, why was it cloudy?

saturday (yesterday)
i got up and made tea with cloudy water
i took my sweet time getting ready as we had a whole day to kill round dead old Sheffield 
we took the long trek to the shops and adam originally said he was gonna go round the shops look for holiday wear. He didnt 
we barely went round anything
eventually we stopped for lunch (luckily i had brought break fast biscuits to last me)
we couldnt find a cheap enough cafe til eventually we found one
we had it to our selves
i ordered beans on toast
came with stone cold toast and barely warm beans
with no other patrons in there, and it was simple beans on toast, what was the excuse?
i ate half a slice of bread and a bit of bean
yuck
we talked about dinner as theres nothing round us and it was only afternoon
we couldnt hang round sheffield not that ether of us had seen any where we fancied eating at
so i suggest, me again making decisions, that we buy a shed load of food and a blanket and have a picnic by the lake at the hotel. So thats what we did we visited sainsburys and greggs for food
primark for a blanket and headed, rather early, to the hotel

we waited around the room 
in the room again! spend a lot of time in those 4 walls
5pm came round and i suggested going out for our picnic
it had been sunny for the last 2 hours
we went outside, started spitting
we walked back into our room to watch it hammer down
i was annoyed we'd been rained off
but also glad we werent in it or walking to food in it
so we ate on the bed like a couple of students
i had just literally finished my last mouth full, the room alarm goes off
adam, like a rocket up is butt ran out the room shouting for me to come
i said "im putting my shoes on" he said "no come on!" i said "no wait for me to put my shoes on"
what was his deal?
so i left the room and went to lobby
turns out the drains outside had been flooded and cars were needed to be moved
thats what the alarm was for
not for fire or anything
cus some drains had failed
seriously!?
thats health and safety gone mad
it had only been raining sodding half an hour!
i was about being sick as id literally had to run after eating and felt awful
so i needed a minute

we had just been laying there til adam said
"let go swimming" we got all ready to go, got there
pool shut
we were too late, turns out shuts earlier on a saturday
so back to the room we went where we spent the rest of the night
fun times my friends
i had a bath and went to bed
screw that crap 

today i woke up
id had an nightmare and not slept
just having restless sleep
feel knackered in the morning
i had a bath and got ready to leave the hotel
we walked allllllll they way to the train station
caught the train, my parents met us off the train and we took adam home first
then i went home with my parents 
i needed space
to be fair adam hadnt done anything wrong, just i was struggling mentally and i felt id had a crummy disappointing time

i came home and shared some cereal with Ozwald
he was happy to have me back
i unpacked and told my mum about my break away
she said to not let it put me off going away with mia next month
and im going manchester with mia so instantly it should be more fun
just i'll be on new medication by then which im a bit anxious about

at 2pm i went to adams to paint his mum's nails
and i stayed there for 2 hours
but got bored of sitting round cus thats all id done with him all weekend
i wasnt prepared to sit any longer
so came home and applied to some jobs and caught up online
designed nails, danced, just did what i wanted to do 

we've agreed we're not going sheffield again
or if we do then one of us is driving 
i didnt want to come THIS time but adam seemed keen so i gave in to him
i feel bad in a way cus ive been a real git to him 
and he always puts up with it i mean he did say i was hard work and buy some headphones for his phone but he told me he loves me and enjoyed spending time with me
i was in my bubble or in a mood
just struggling really, starting to get gaps in my memory as well ive noticed 
and having nightmares
im gonna be driven to insanity before i know it!

school tomorrow
please god let me sleep other wise i will be falling asleep in class
im going for a much needed run tonight!!!!!!!
glad to be home, my room, my space, my bed, please myself~