Upsetting the house hold

Evening~~

I woke up at 5am...seriously 5am!?
then it was 6:30am and finally 8:30am
finally a little bit of a lay in!

I went on my laptop in the morning
trying to motivate myself to go for a run
and the temperature was steadily on the rise outside
by 10:30am I found the motivation and went for a 20min run
i was sweaty!!

Mum came home for an hour
she said that she doesnt feel like its right for adam to go with me to
my psychology session on wednesday /:
its cus i cant face going by myself
its so dull and the guy really annoys me
she went on to say that i upset the house hold as it were
everyone has noticed the difference in me
whats worse she told me that shes told my brother whats up with me!!!
i realy really didnt want him knowing
i didnt want him knowing what a freak i am
how im different
i felt ashamed of myself and that id let him down
and it hurt 
it also hurt to hear how mum described me as a dark cloud over the house
what can i do?
does she think i choose this? 
i think its just cus no one understand
heck im trying to get my head round it and i live with it!!!
fed up of it

I had lunch and my neighbours were doing my head in
i'd had enough, wasnt doing much
so i drove across the city centre to a shop by myself
i picked up a few cosmetics and 2 note books only spent £13
everything i got was in the reduced section
got to the check out...what was my PIN again?
i went blank
luckily i had JUST enough cash on me
i always carry cash on me 
i felt a little bit like an idiot but i felt more confused if anything
this is the 3rd time ive not been able to remember a PIN i've had for a few years now
what is up with me? my memories keep getting jumbled up
i still cant remember it now, i know the digits but what order?

i noticed id missed a call from the agency 
they said i had work for tomorrow and my heart sank
i mean as much as i know its right to take the work and be grateful for it
i didnt want to go
i didnt want a day of maths and english or being stuck in a hot classroom
but i accepted
i promptly told adam that our day trip to bakewell tomorrow would be cancelled
i drove home at this point

when i got home i packed stuff away and talked with mum about our days
then the agency rang again, turns out im not needed
and i was almost leaping with joy X3
it means i can have my day trip and find these mini waterfalls and play in natural water
ahhhhhh what a total treat! i can not wait!!!!

i havent done much since then cus its hot and ive been at a loss what to do
i have a few things i could do
i looked how to get to bakewell
its an hour's drive -____-
but it will be worth it
i got all my stuff ready for tomorrow as well to save me time

so tomorrow i think i'll turn up at adams at 9:45am wait round til he's ready then go
have a few hours in bakewell then come home
and hopefully see mia in the evening
busy busy but I like to be busy

a piece of make up i got today for under eyes
with free samples!