Program on split personality

Evening

It took me til 12:30 to sleep
I came down for pain killers and hot chocolate
just couldnt get off to sleep my joints hurt
but i dont usually sleep well on a yoga night anyhow
woke up at 7am and refused to get up at that time so laid in til 8:15am


This morning I went shops with mum
didn't get anything really 
I sorted out Tara's present for tonight
Then I cleaned the interior of my car as dad had taken it for an MOT this morning
the inside was dirty as predicted 

This afternoon I sat and watched the program on channel 5 
called i think it was 'my personalities and me'
that made me feel a little sick to my stomach
a program about split personality which is what i have
and listening to what these girls - my age all had to say
was a little sickening 
just basically because without being rude, what they were saying was MENTAL
but its what I say... and thats what made me feel sick
as what they were saying is what I say...
and it all sounds mental it really does and it makes me realise in another
light that i have got a mental issue
i know that sounds strange but i think its cus it was my first experience
seeing others with this
very interesting
how some people let the personalities free and change between them
and others like my self chain up the personalities
didnt say how to cope with it or anything but good to see there are others out there
made me realise things i take as 'normal' like choosing food for instance 
i watched as their personalities warred to have a say in what food to eat
and i have an internal debate on what to eat everytime i eat food and i never noticed
or shall i say, thought much of it
as its 'normal'' to me 
very odd illness 

i went for a walk with mum
as the weather is good today its nice and warm and felt soothing on my joints
did a bit of digital drawing and some japanese too
i wrote out some japanese last night so i was glad i did knuckle down and do some 

tonight, well in 15 mins time im heading over to tara's never drove 
up these particular roads before and im hoping i will be ok with it
taking satnav and my notes as i worry to pieces 
but id like to see her

tomorrow not sure what im doing
mum is doing park run
shes asked why dont i just walk it but it feels to raw and a kick in the teeth to just walk it at the moment so im leaving it, i'll stay home
probably dance whilst shes out

my nails this week even tho i have sadly broke two right down T^T

uploaded a dance as well today
not sure what to do this weekend /: 
i havent done any dancing today O: 
feels odd