Tuesday, 18 December 2018

Boubon Nutella Star Biscuits + week til christmas!

Evening

I woke up at 4:30am and then at 5:15am I got up
I was back in bed for 6am I just needed food and a stretch
I managed to sleep from 6:30am til 8:20am
so not bad I guess but I felt rough when I woke up

I rang doctors up in the morning and Im booked 31st december
then 9th january to see the nurse
basically the psychologist wants my hormone levels checked as he wants to rule that out as it to being the reason i have no sex drive
personally i think it will be a waste of time as ive had hormone checks in the past
but at least then he can shut up about it
I also rang the psychologist and his receptionist actually sighed and said "has he still not rang you?" well apparently not love if im still ringing you! 3 weeks later >.>

I did 30 mins of yoga just to try and alleviate some of my pain
but cant say it did a lot
then i did 25mins of dancing
actual jpop dancing! god i was so out of touch with it
and i stopped after i felt like collapsing 
ive still got my headache and felt rough but still i tried

i had a shower then mum came home and i sat with her for 15mins and we popped out to the shops just shops and food shopping nothing amazing 
we timed it well as when we got home it started raining and it hasnt stopped since that was at 1pm and its 7:30pm now, horrible weather

i warmed the leftover soup up for lunch but couldnt face it so my brother had for me whilst i had a hot chocolate, so fed up of food
then i read on my bed and fell asleep i just felt dead 
i got up and had a brew with mum
tried to get Oz in but couldnt even find him in that shed in the end mum came and helped me but hurt myself moving stuff out the way just to get to him as he didnt make it easy for me

i went on my laptop started planning out a commission of art work
then i sat with Oz for 10 mins
the psychaitrist rang!!! he rang!!!!
we talked and hes fine with me having antidepressants, funny cus the psychologist would rather i didnt have them - its all paper work related and who looks better than who rather than working together to get the patient better. so anyway ive had to make a list of the antidepressants ive been on which ive done now. and he said he will call tomorrow and we will discuss which one to try, so fingers crossed its going in the right direction
had dinner which i just about survived but still had to lay down after food for about an hour 
daren't move then i sat with millie whilst mum had alice

now i just feel rotten and washed out
i swear im having my 3rd cold in 6 weeks
suppose i will know for definite in the morning
but my god im in pain now i have been all day, feeling like ive been ran over, so god knows how im even gonna get to sleep tonight never mind staying asleep 

tomorrow mum and my brother are doing a big food shop getting some stuff for xmas day in
so ill be home alone for a bit in the morning
then i believe me and mum are dropping karen's xmas present over
but if i do have a cold i wont be able to go as karen's immune system is compromised at the moment due to her cancer treatment :/ 
i hope im ok in the morning i really do

here are the Bourbon Nutella Biscuits I made yesterday which have all gone now

they were good
and im baking again on saturday i believe, doing some Dutch christmas biscuits
then were having cake on christmas day
so many treats all in a week 
its a week now til the day
its almost all over!!!!

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