I went to bed at 9:20
think I must have fallen asleep well before 10pm I was shattered and didnt read
i was in pain as well and quite grumpy too
and look who woke up at 6:30am!
at 7:10am I crawled into bed with mummy for 20 mins
In the morning I had girls in who were still fresh from their bath on friday ^^
I weighed myself to discover I have put even more weight on
so I cried
I cried on my mums bed
mum told me I wasnt fat and I told her that im cutting down as im unhappy
and that im not eating anything sweet now and she needs to help me
she said she will point out to me when im reaching for sweet stuff
but why do i bother exercising? seriously why do i bother?
i know people who eat worse than me and do less than me and dont put anything on
how is it fair? whats up with my body?
im gonna buy weight loss pills for over the christmas period
me and mum were off to the city centre this morning but because she takes
longer than me to get ready in the morning i went out to post office
to post my international christmas cards and my 2 UK presents
its early to post christmas presents but I refuse to make two journeys to the post office
so that came to £8 just to make others happy
I picked up some bread for mum on the way home too as no one else will do it and it saves her
i came back and she was there waiting for me thank god
we got into the city for 10am
it was raining
rained all morning so i was glad i wasnt doing park run
but it was annoying we had rain as we were looking round the outdoor xmas market
it had the same tat on it like it does every year which i told mum it would do
but she insisted on looking round it
our annual hot chocolate was disappointing i found as usually you get some chocolate bar with it and we got crumbs and i said to the woman how crap it was she didnt seem impressed with me but i was cold my feet stung i ached and id had enough of people
but still i drank it
me and mum said next year we'd bring our own chocolate bars to add to it
there was so much good food on the market but i didnt eat any
probably for the best as im crazy enough with food thoughts without eating rubbish
from our trip i picked up a thicker bigger snood for work as mine isnt big or warm enough
i got 2 pairs of reduced fleece pajamas from debenams the snood was from there too so everything should last pretty well
i picked up a present for karen which is a plastic bauble filled with white feathers she loves angels and wings, and i picked up for our tree a mini sledge
mum got her friends christmas presents
then we came away really
i came home and had porridge for lunch
then i went to bed
i was so cold and tired id just had enough and couldnt even think of what to do with myself so i just had an hour sleeping
not slept during the day for a while!
i got up and spent ages applying to that school job and applying to a weekend job
i can but try
took me ages tho
then me and mum popped out to the pot shop so i could pick up my penguin plate
must say its come out better than i had thought actually
just need a plate stand now for it
i will photograph it tomorrow~
i watched a couple of things on youtube whilst i ate my dinner
i made myself a salad but ate too much bread with it
then i did some japanese
did a bit of yoga
then went for a run for half hour, came in and showered and now gonna go for Oz and bed
im happy as ive ordered my dad something offline for christmas
cus my god is he hard to buy for
he says not to buy him anything but then moans on christmas day he has nothing to open
so cant win ether way as hes not even that bothered about what you buy him
and he buys for no one not even his wife
anyway ive brought him Karl Pilkington Sick of It on DVD
we have all wanted to see it and it only aired in Autumn so i was surprised how quick its come out on DVD it was aired on Sky1 and we dont have Sky so we couldnt see it
so yeah i can tick him off now~ he was my last person to do but wasnt the end of the world if i didnt buy him anything kinda thing
today its 1st December which is a lil frightening really
i opened my advent calender and got a reindeer face chocolate
my calender here was £1.99 which I thought was enough to pay
i saw some REDUCED in debenams today for like £20....seriously who is gonna pay that
no wonder the shelves were full of em
dad said i should have treated myself to one now im earning money but i couldnt understand the logic in spending £20 on well packaged chocolate especially as im cutting down
tomorrow mia says i can see her for a cuppa at 9am
its early but only time she has spare and saves me waiting round for her
we were going for a walk but she wants me to see her tree that shes put up today...
level of sadness there i think
planning on taking a sleeping tablet tonight~
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