Start of hypnotherapy

Evening

 I didnt sleep great but on the plus side
i did stay in bed all night! achievement~
I got up at 8am

I was looking online at random stuff til 9:30am
brought some more joggers
gotta love joggers~
then I decided I really should be dancing XD
so I did 45mins of dancing
i had had enough tho

I showered and had a brew
then I hit a home store
I went and brought a container to transport and heat soup in
two chokers for just a quid!

a blanket as i want to use my scraps up making a patchwork blanket before
i start full time at school
a notebook for school as i wanna make a few notes before rebecca leaves me
and i think that was it

i came home and had something to eat and waited for mum to come home
i told her that the hypnotherapist had been in touch and given me an appointment for 5pm today
i then went to bed as i was done in
im still having cold sweats, dizzy and feeling off
i must have a bug or something

i got up and had a cup of tea with mum and oz then i went to the hypnotherapist 
she had a dog which i happily greated
she was like "do you have a dog?" i think she thought i was so good with dogs i must have one XD i just aint scared and embrace all animals
she took me to a room upstairs in her house
it was all really nice and so was she

we talked for a good 40mins and she told me to think about if i want treatment or not as its expensive but she gave me hope. honestly for the first time in such a long time someone wanted to help me and was really confident they could help me too
she said she can help me with 
sleep
pain
anxiety
confidence
and Eko
it freaked me out a bit about Eko but she has reassured me that it would be a merging not getting rid but the thought that thats even possible had me in shock really as i cant imagine it happening
i cant imagine this one person can do all this
to be able to sleep would be a dream
she told me she could end up talking to Eko she doesnt know as she hasnt treated anyone with this condition but seems certain she can merge us so i will be able to feel more emotions
she was really lovely
and gave me some home work to do for tonight
ive got to go to bed at the same time as everyone in the house
and i have got to do a tensing muscle exercise followed by a breathing exercise and it might make me sleep or sleep longer
i am willing to try anything
but if i chose treatment the first time she could do was 14th may as shes on holiday

i drove home
crying
i think it was relief that i could get help and i think just being a bit overwhelmed
i came home and asked mum to sit on her bed with me
i talked to her and cried a bit more
she was relieved and talked to dad about it
they both want me to have the treatment and are willing to pay as well for it
so expensive >< 
i feel bad

since then i have flicked through my ever growing monster bag of scraps
deciding which ones to use to make the quilt
i have sorted a lot out
but i dont feel the bag is any smaller!! how is that possible!?
ugh

tomorrow im seeing karen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i literally cant wait 
i havent spent anytime with her for months ever since shes started her cancer treatment
so me mum and karen are going to a cafe for tea and cake at 10am :D

after that i might sew or something :)