Feeling numb

Konbanwa

I slept alright I guess
but woke up at 1:30am to find quite a few txt messages on my phone...
and i think thats what woke me up -- my phone screen illuminating  my room
it was Jack
Jack who had clearly had one too many
cus my god those text messages XD
quite amusing 
all declaring his undying love for me
i txt him back saying "think youre drunk cus we dont usually say this stuff"
we aint a soppy couple
and he continued sharing his feelings
i said "you are gonna want to die in the morning when you read all this"
after a while a turned over and went to sleep

this morning i felt slightly better than what i had done the night before
i kinda thought 'new day' sorta thing
at 10am i got a txt from jack "oh my god"
i said "seen last night's damage have we?"
he said "god i had a lot. could be worse i guess. at least my drunken thoughts are of you"
which is true i guess at least hes not going round touching up other girls whilst drunk
no one compares to Jo you see XD

I needed to have a bit of me time
or to feel something
i felt so numb
so i went down to the river and walked a long side it
which usually calms any unease im feeling
but it didnt do a great deal for me
so i decided to go shopping
shopping usually makes people happy right?
so i walked round tk maxx with my ipod in
i picked up a cardigan, new school trousers, joggers, body spray, eyeshadow, night cream

none it i needed, well the cardigan i kinda need but none of it i needed
i just brought
i didnt try on ether
cant say it made me feel any better
i decided to go home
jack had text me to see if i wanted to join them for food but food wasnt doing it for me so i couldnt see the point in wasting more money so i said for them to go without me
i went to sleep after i had lunch

got a txt from jack at 3pm saying they were going pudding place did i want to come
i said there wasnt much point in coming out as id have to get home for school and stuff
they kinda begged for me to come out
but i told them to leave it
i laid on my bed a bit then sat outside with Oz and a brew like i did at breakfast

cant really taste anything today
pretty numb to the world

ive got drawing i should be at least making a start on
id like to start it tonight if i can as ive done nothing towards it

hopefully i will feel more of the world tomorrow
tomorrow is school
again
and it starts again
work, sleep, work, sleep
not much longer i guess